Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
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From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2019-12-02 07:01:54 #43

The second definition

2. due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. (Paul)

amounts to common courtesy.

 Does Paul display due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of Chinese women in his interactions with them as we get to view them here on CLM?

This question is best answered by the women of CLM. I know two women on CLM that have privately answered this question with a clear NO. What do other women on CLM think?

 

 

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2019-12-04 10:46:30 #44


@JohnAbbot @melcyan

How about a write a blog about it? Then everyone can join in the fun....

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2019-12-04 10:49:26 #45


@melcyan

Oh, so are these 'women' saying I'm not courteous? Where did you find them...Scammer Prison?

I'd like them to openly challenge me on what you are saying.....or perhaps they're hiding under your bed?

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2019-12-08 12:44:24 #46

@PaulFox1 - who exactly are you suggesting should write a blog about 'it'? 

And what exactly is 'it'?

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2019-12-08 12:48:34 #47


@JohnAbbot

Your comment - "It also seems to me there is lots of room for debate over that question so let's do that."

Therefore I suggested I write a blog, rather than continue here where most members will likely miss the debate.

From: Australia New South Wales Sydney @oldghost Time : 2019-12-08 15:46:25 #48

@nooneinparticular

Nothing @paulfox1 wrote in this particular thread was notably disrespectful or controversial, or for that matter worth long discussion.  The nature of writing about past events or encounters is that the threads are likely to be littered with negatives or failed positives.  I've had run-ins with emotionally over-the-top people, male and female, Chinese or other, and without exception have sooner or later terminated any relationship with them.

In an early blog or forum thread of mine I mentioned being abused by a Chinese woman as a result of my language and cultural misunderstanding (神经病!).  I blamed myself for my naivety and ineptness, but expected a degree of understanding and allowance for my poor language. I was surprised then to be attacked and abused, both here and in other sites, by someone I had quite liked and had communicated with extensively.  Abused because such 'salutary' self deprecatory stories, intended to be funny, are seen as critical of China and Chinese character.  In sites like this it seems wise to stay away from anything less than fulsome praise.  The comments here of the anonymous one in America just bear that out too.

老鬼

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2019-12-10 11:28:16 #49


@oldghost

I agree. Yet it seems that Melcyan's pov is that, despite her obvious disrespect for you, you should continue to have respect for her. Or am I missing something?

I have been amazed over the years at how many Chinese people seem to be insulted when I talk about 'Chinglish'. Personally I think signs such as 'Slip Carefully', or a 'F*ck Vegetables' sign in a supermarket are amusing, if not downright funny.

However, there are those in China who think laughing shows lack of respect. It doesn't, it shows laziness on the part of the sign-maker, IMHO.

 

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2019-12-10 11:39:18 #50

@PaulFox1 - thanks for the clarification.

That's a great idea. Please do write a blog about it.

I was a little concerned you were suggesting that Melcyan or I write a blog about it and that did not seem nearly so much like a great idea.

I'll look forward to your blog. 

@oldghost - the Chinese women are a little overly defensive about any comment that could possibly be a negative assessment of their character, virtues and nature. That extends to their feelings about their nation. But I am not sure the rest of us are any different.

I won't hesitate to mock or sarcastically critique Canada or my fellow Canadians, but I will definitely not fight to the death for the right of an Australian to do so. 

I think we all are a little over touchy about our own countries. I am not saying we should be, just that we are. 

There are exceptions to that, of course, and I recognize that you very likely are one of them. And I mean that in a good way.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2019-12-10 12:26:46 #51

@paulfox1

"Yet it seems that Melcyan's pov is that, despite her obvious disrespect for you, you should continue to have respect for her. Or am I missing something?"

 

Yes, Paul, you are missing something. The respect that needs to be shown is respect for the general female CLM reader by the writer. I can't remember the precise details of the article that @oldghost is referring to but I do remember empathising with both oldghost's position and the position of the women who were criticising him. We have a duty to be careful with our words.

 

I envy oldghost's command of the Chinese language.  However, it seems that the more you know the Chinese language the more respectful and cautious that you are expected to be. In particular, you need to make a genuine effort to avoid the perception that your criticisms of one Chinese woman are not also criticisms of many Chinese women or Chinese women in general.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2019-12-10 17:45:42 #52

@JohnAbbot

 "the Chinese women are a little overly defensive about any comment that could possibly be a negative assessment of their character, virtues and nature. That extends to their feelings about their nation. But I am not sure the rest of us are any different."

Your comment to oldghost is spot on.

You are right. Western men on CLM do have the same problem. Maybe worse. Compare the male responses to

https://blog.chinalovematch.net/forum/post/10-types-of-western-men-seeking-Chinese-women

  to the responses women gave in Paul's blog series "Chinese Women: is She My Type - parts 1 to 7" When you read the responses it is clear that the men overreacted more than the women.

 

 

From: Australia New South Wales Sydney @oldghost Time : 2019-12-10 17:57:22 #53


@paulfox1

I noted 'Beware Landslide' in one 7*24 hotel.  The tap boldly labelled 'SOUP' in a toilet on the road to Liaoning Chaoyang was worth a gasp too. In my weirdo nerdish mind's eye I could see a hapless tourist availing themselves of the free suan la tang. 

From: Australia New South Wales Sydney @oldghost Time : 2019-12-11 14:21:13 #54

@JohnAbbot

I am not nationalist, I think I could live anywhere.  I am not at all proud of my country's government, which frequently makes me cringe.  I am certainly not proud of our treatment of indigenous people or refugees. Of the pockets of sexism bias racism prejudice inequality.  I am ashamed of the weird wave of cold-war anti-China sentiment
However I am delighted these days to be able to say I am Australian and in particular neither American! nor British (wasntme):D :D

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2019-12-12 14:31:14 #55


@oldghost

Both America and Australia are countries that were stolen from the original inhabitants. They did this by refusing to acknowledge that the indigenous people were 'human'.

If you look into the Latin 'Ex injuria jus non oritur', you'll find that it essentially means 'A violation of law cannot create new laws, and no rights can be derived'

Therefore, when 'Uncle Kevin' essentially said 'sorry' to the Aboriginals, he was acknowledging this old law. Since then, the Australian government is not only corrupt, but illegal. All its laws are illegal too.

Right now, I am not proud to be either British, or Australian, and I'm certainly thankful that I am not American or Canadian either.

All of these countries are operating under a false, illegal, government, as well as fake, illegal, laws.

 

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