Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian


@Anonymous1516 Time : 2015-11-23 20:35:16

I get increasingly annoyed and frustrated when I send e-mails to lady members only to find that one month later they remain un-opened in their CLM mailbox

CLM sends an e-mail to your registered e-mail address telling you that you have mail in your CLM inbox, but you are too lazy to go there and check it!

Why join CLM in the first place? Was it because your next-door-neighbour's Aunties, Uncles, cats, daughters - owners mother's best friends acquaintance suggested it was a good idea - or did you really come here to find someone to spend the rest of your life with?

"Oh, I'm not here to play games...................." Really?????

Try answering your e-mails then - perhaps someone will believe you !

If guys can be bothered to take the time and trouble to send you an e-mail then the least you can do is to reply - even if it's a 'No Thanks' !

Wasting my breath........?

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From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @AussieBhoy74 Time : 2015-11-25 12:20:26 #1
It could be for a number of reasons. They may not like your picture, or what's written in your profile, or you don't fit their age range.

It is likely they view the profile, but don't bother replying. I have ignored women also a few times. If the women is over 40 I won't be interested in her, or if she is in early 20's I won't reply either. Sometimes I will reply and politely say "sorry, you are out of my specified age range". Also, women have contacted me on here recently, but I can't contact them because I have not upgraded my membership again yet.

Sometimes a person may not want to "offend" another member by saying "sorry, I don't like you", although they could just say, "sorry, I don't feel we are compatible".

I usually also ignore any woman who only has one photo, or women who earn less than 25,000 dollars a year who say they want a man who earns 100, 000 + or 150,000 dollars plus a year. In those cases all the woman is looking for is a wallet.

The same for any woman who states she is "renting", but wants a man who "owns his own home outright". I own my own place and have money, but I am not going to buy a house for a Chinese woman ( or any woman! ) I think people, including women, should buy their own property, or they pay the mortgage off together.

If I am contacted by any woman I suspect to be a gold digger, or who is too old for me, I will often NEVER reply to her, definitely the women in the first category. I would not blame Chinese women who do the same thing if a man does not suit their age requirements or he seems to just want money from marriage.

Not saying you are anything like that, just that there can be all sorts of reasons why people don't reply to letters.

The best advice for people on here is to READ THE PROFILES CAREFULLY so you don't contact people who won't be interested in you!
From: Netherlands @Macchap Time : 2015-11-26 09:24:06 #2

Although I have yet to contact any woman on this website, this is what I would do: before you even think of sending her a message check when was the last time she has logged in. If it was September 2015 I would add her to my Favourites and check again in a few weeks’ time. Hasn’t she still not logged in, then I’d move on to something/someone else. You still can check back some other time to see if there have been any changes but when not, delete her from your Favourites. Just like that.
In the event you come across a profile that has checked-in recently, I still would wait with sending her a message. Read again her profile a few days later, when you still feel the same about her profile you can start thinking of sending her a message.
Whatever you choose to do, keep the first message(s) brief; she may not respond at all or not anymore. Time is a valuable commodity, spend it with care.
@Anonymous23653 Time : 2015-11-26 22:37:08 #3
I have my own checks in place and I sincerely thank you for your good advice
@Macchap Also good advice
However, there is one flaw in your argument. One 'lady' in question was active today yet my e-mail to her dated September 19 is still unopened
She is not an isolated case
Many women have been active within the last 48 hours yet simple e-mails sent to them months ago are still not looked at
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2015-11-27 13:59:12 #4

"If guys can be bothered to take the time and trouble to send you an e-mail then the least you can do is to reply - even if it's a 'No Thanks' !"

I hear what you say and I fully agree with you, Anon1516.

Before I found a partner here, many times I suffered the same indignity as you've described. I also wondered why so many women appeared to be so inconsiderate and cavalier in their dealings with men.

These words are written on the assumption that before sending a message, you've carefully read the ladies' profiles and you more or less meet their published selection criteria. I'm sure you're not so silly as to send missives to females who clearly aren't interested in what you have to offer, age range included.

I remember a friend of mine here recounting a story to me about a lady he'd contacted. Soon after meeting him, the lady enquired "What can you offer me? A house? A car?"

What the gentleman then said is "The best thing I can offer you is the delete button!" and he promptly deleted the lady's details from his database.

Would it be possible for CLM to somehow weed these non-responding ladies out? These females who taunt and tease with enticing profiles and volupturous pictures but who never reply to anyone?

Perhaps CLM should introduce a "Three strikes and you're out" type of policy? Or maybe five strikes and you're out? The actual number is less important than the message that chronically non-responding ladies will be tossed out on their ear, if they receive a certain number of legitimate complaints about their haughty non-responsiveness from sincere, fee paying gentlemen.

This in turn would make the site more dynamic, more rewarding - once some of its frustrating deadwood is removed.

The disadvantage of course is that CLM would lose some of its female database, making the site potentially less attractive, looked at superficially. BUT yet those ladies who remain will all be polite, responsive ladies who'll make an effort to reply to everyone in a timely manner.

So whilst CLM's quantity of members will diminish, its quality will increase.

This would be overall a win for male members here, right?
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @AussieBhoy74 Time : 2015-11-27 17:48:03 #5
I suppose there are just many factors at play here. I agree with Macchap, yeah, if there was a woman from say August or September this year then you could put her on Favourites if you want, but I think if someone has not logged on here for three months it is probably a waste of time to contact them.

I would not bother waiting for a woman from 2014 to reply to me if I sent her a message.
What Anonymous said is true, it is annoying if you sent someone a message and weeks later there is no response. It happens on other sites also.

There is another reason why people don't reply either. They may have received several messages and mean to reply to all, but only reply to maybe two of them. They may just forget about replying to the others then a week or two weeks later think , "I forgot about those", and think they might or still could reply. I forgot about that in the last post of mine.
From: Netherlands @Macchap Time : 2015-11-28 04:58:54 #6
Has she ever viewed your profile after you have viewed her's and/or after you have sent her that email?

There's no flaw in my argument, there's a flaw in her attitude for not reading your email or letting you know she has read your email. A little courtesy goes a long way as far as I'm concerned.
@Anonymous23658 Time : 2015-11-28 14:41:40 #7

No, not even checked my profile!
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @AussieBhoy74 Time : 2015-11-29 09:47:12 #8
Well I suppose there is not much we can really do, we can't force certain women to contact us, and women on here can't make certain men contact them either.

One problem with online dating is that it is a magnet for leeches and gold diggers. I agree with Barry that possibly, some female members could be weeded out. Those who have totally unrealistic expectations for instance, or those women who have hardly any information in their profiles.

Then however, if we could ban the superficial and money hungry women, in a way that is like banning free speech, there are those who will say to let the bad women have their say. We have the power not to contact the bad women, and after reading profiles a few times it is easy to spot the women who are just looking for a wallet.

I find gold diggers on here to be extremely obnoxious. It is insulting for men to looked at just as an income source or an ATM. It is just like a man saying to a woman "you are useless apart from sex".

Certain women on here should take note, this is a big turn off for men.
@Anonymous23667 Time : 2015-11-29 14:47:04 #9
There is no dating site in the world that has been able to weed out the men and women that do not deserve to be on the site. At least CLM has made a genuine effort to weed out scammers. Like it or not all members have to face up to the fact that it is their responsibility to do the weeding and theirs alone.
@Anonymous23668 Time : 2015-11-29 19:47:26 #10

Haha, do you mean they are useless at the ONE time they have sex???
You know, the time after they get married and want to get pregnant.......after that mate it's "Mrs Palmer" all the way lol
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @AussieBhoy74 Time : 2015-12-03 06:59:52 #11
Well Anon, 23668, I know some Western men who married Chinese women and had a child with them, after that there was no sex. I've heard it is the same with quite a few Western gals also, I've never had a Western wife however.

Then there are some Chinese women who just like having sex, same as any other women.

I will also agree it is impossible to weed out bad eggs on dating sites. At least on here those people who ask for money or try to lure people to scammer sites get kicked off this site. And kudos to John and the administrators/mods on this site for doing that.
From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Grace172 Time : 2015-12-04 12:33:55 #12
Funny! This question should be directed at women, right? But only men responded it. (giggle)
I felt it a accuse more than a question. I can feel the writer's anger and disappointed through his words. I understand his feeling. I do not want to deny for us, women. I sometimes did not pay any reply on time for many reasons (most of time I have been too busy to log on CLM). I do not represent other women here, They may have their own reasons. But one thing I have to say is that most women here are single mothers. As single mothers, they have very difficult and hard life in China. A lot of pressure from their career, their children, their old parents and their health.... Life is really not easy for them. So they may not have time to focus on this webside every day, even though they really keen to find a good husband to share the life with. I remember when I met my husband here, he tried to contect me so many times before I respond them. when he lived here with me, he finally understood how busy I was and how much prussure I have every day. I even have no time for myself. So even now, he worte me several emails but I only reply him one or two, and he called me every day, much more than I call him. But he understand me and he do not complain about that any more. I really appreciate him so much. Of course I don't think what I did was good manner. I should improve it.
Please be patient to the woman you like. Maybe she worth you spent your patient to wait for. Maybe she is too busy to log on CLM. If you have tried many times to contect her, but she still ignore you, that mean she is not interested in you. Then you'd better move on.
Good luck. Sir.(f)(f)(f)(f)
@Anonymous23679 Time : 2015-12-04 16:28:42 #13

Thank you for your reply and it's nice to see a reply from a female member. However, the time constraints that you mentioned are not what seems to be the issue. ALL of the women I have sent r-mails to have logged on recently and certainly AFTER I wrote to them, yet my letters don't just remain un-replied to, they remain unopened and unread
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @AussieBhoy74 Time : 2015-12-04 17:40:36 #14
Grace, being a single mother anywhere is hard work, not just in China. I agree, many divorced Chinese women with a kid ( or kids ) may be quite busy each day,

It is no different for an Australian or British single mother however ( better them than me, given the cost of living here in Australia! )

Also, about responses to mail, if I contact a woman twice and she does not reply, yep, I just move on, that is a sign of zero interest.
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