Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
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Anonymous1020

The AGE old story.......

@Anonymous1020 Time : 2013-12-27 14:17:37

There has been much talk lately about the age GAP between western men, what they are seeking in a Chinese woman and also what is an acceptable age gap between a man and woman - and when I say "acceptable", I don't just mean what is acceptable between to two people, but also what their families, friends and society in general see as "acceptable"

However, I am beginning to see a huge difference between an ACTUAL age gap and a PERCEIVED age gap

John Abbot recently stated in one of his comments that Chinese women often look young for their age and whilst I generally agree with most of what John writes in his comments, this is one occasion where I must disagree

Whether this is a perception thing or not, (just as Beauty is in the eye of the beholder) - I don't know - but what I DO know is that I do not think that generally, Chinese (or Asian woman for that matter) look young for their years

The same applies to Chinese men (or maybe it is my perception)

Having recently met up with a Chinese friend of mine and we found ourselves discussing this topic. I had never asked his age, but I assumed he was in his early 50's. It turns out that he is 43

Now I really don't want to offend anybody - especialy the ladies. I think that GENERALLY, Chinese women in tend to look after themselves well - possibly more so than western women - and this is a huge attraction to me, but this "perception" of age is really confusing at times

We all know the age old complaint about older ladies putting up studio photos making themselves look 21, but in REALITY, it is a whole different story

I bumped into a friend the other day, a young girl that used to work in my favourite coffee bar in China. We always had a laugh together and when I first met her she told me she was 23. The other day I bumped into her in the same coffee shop (she no longer works there but was there as a customer) and we began chatting

I asked her how long we had known each other and she said almost 3 years. She had just turned 20!

That means that when we first met, she was not quite 18 years old, but when she said she was 23, I had no reason to dis-believe her (not that it really mattered anyway)

Chatting to a 38-year old on video chat for the last 3 months, we finally had occasion to meet for lunch

To be honest, she didn't look a day over 44 - haha ! Certainly she looked OLDER than 38 (but of course, I could not let her know this)

Her friend joined us for lunch and I was asked how old did I THINK she was. Trying to be diplomatic I said 36

She is 30 ! - this was definitely one of those times you wish a big hole would appear in the floor and you could just drop into it!

So my whole point is this -

According to John Abbot, if a Chinese girl looks 10 years YOUNGER than she really is, then a 50-year old man should be happy with a 40-year old wife (who looks 30)

According to my perception, a 50-year old man could take a 30-year old wife and society (etc) would accept it because in fact she LOOKS 40 !

 

 

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From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Marrisa Time : 2013-12-27 18:39:58 #1
@anonymous
Too much talk about this topic. But what is the point? Why should we care about what the other people think? Shouldn't we focus on how we could be in real love and be happy?
Anonymous11223
@Anonymous11223 Time : 2013-12-27 18:49:43 #2
Of the Chinese people I know, about 50% look their age, 40% look 5 to 10 years younger and about 10% look 5 to 10 years older. The ones who look older have lived a hard life and worry a lot. I suspect worry has done more damage to their looks than the hard life. On average I would say Chinese city people look younger than western city people and that is amazing when you consider the high pollution levels of Chinese cities.
Anonymous11228
@Anonymous11228 Time : 2013-12-27 21:10:00 #3
I hate liars!
From: China 江苏(jiang su) 苏州(su zhou ) @aussieghump Time : 2013-12-27 23:14:20 #4
The real issue is whether the family will let a daughter marry someone...and 'age difference' is one objection many families might have.

This is also true if they follow 'feng shui' principles that suggest 'good matches' and 'bad matches'. It depends a little on the age and background of the parents. Auspicious matches are favoured for 'first marriage' but if the woman has been divorced then many of these objections are over-ruled, just so she can find a husband.
From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2013-12-28 18:20:57 #5
@Anonymous1020 - I think the problem here is that we need to add a "relative to what" factor in. When I say that Chinese women generally look on average 10 years younger, I mean relative to western women of the same age. In my experience every western man I have ever met who has recently arrived in China has remarked how young the Chinese women look for their age. Of course they mean how young they look for their age compared to the women I am used to looking at back home.

It is not possible to "look younger than you are". It is only possible to "look younger than other people look at the same age".

When I first arrived in China, when asked to guess a Chinese woman's age I consistently mistook them to be younger than they are. As years passed I became more adept at recognizing their true age because I was getting accustomed to how Chinese women look and how to estimate their age from their appearance.

Perhaps you too are experienced enough with meeting and discovering the age of many Chinese women that you now are much better at recognizing their true age based on their physical appearance. In that case, of course you will sometimes think they are older than they are and sometimes think they are younger.

But if you are trying to tell us that Chinese women do not look younger than Western women of the same age, then I call BULLSHIT!!! I have never met one western male who has not felt that Chinese women (and most other Asian women) age better than western women as to physical appearance. I don't recall even meeting any western woman who has made that claim. Almost every western woman I have discussed this with has expressed strong envy at how well Chinese women weather compared to themselves.

Over 10 years in China I've had too many Western visitors to count, and all of them, male and female, have expressed their amazement at how young Chinese people look for their age, and of course they meant "compared to us".

And if that (the "relative to what" aspect) isn't what we're talking about when we discuss this issue then it is a totally pointless conversation.

@Anonymous11223 - see above, but let me add that, of course, Chinese farmers who toil under the hot sun day after day performing relatively hard labour, and stressing out about how will they pay for their pending heart surgery next month, will look older than a Chinese person of the same age living in the city with a cushy 9 to 5 job in an air conditioned office and full health benefits. The question is how will they look compared to a western person toiling under the same hot sun and the same other conditions. I will bet you that they will almost invariably look younger than the western person.

@Marrisa - I agree with you whole heartedly that we have been beating the age topic to death as of late, and especially the accompanying glamour photos topic. These issues are basically pet peeves, and we need to get over our pet peeves and move on to the true topic at hand, which is meeting the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. You are bang on with your comment.

Anonymous11241
@Anonymous11241 Time : 2013-12-29 17:24:46 #6
@John Abbot
In that case I stand corrected. I was not comparing Chinese women with western women at all

I was simply taking your comment in what I believed to be it's literal sense insofar as Chinese women look young for their age - ie, a 40-something Cinese woman looks 30-something and it was this that I disagreed with
However, I do concur that a Chinese 40-something woman often looks younger than a 40-something western woman
I hope that clears up the mis-understanding ?
From: United States @Anonymouth Time : 2013-12-31 08:25:04 #7
I think Chinese women look underage, 12 to around 16 for years for years until they look like they are 26 to 30, they then stay this way until they hit he wall so to speak and like turning into a pumpkin at midnight become 700 year old ancient crones. There is nothing in between.

This is ok as long as you verify that this hot piece of jail bait is legal... Its great when your 38 year old wife still looks 30...

And its amusing as long as its your MOTHER IN LAW who looks like an ancient crone.. Hopefully since you are probably physically older than your years, as we all look as Westerners, and we are already 10 to 15 years older in reality we will die long before our beautiful young (looking) wives turn into pumpkins and begin a centuries ony process of torturing their son in laws!

Disclaimer: If you're actually offended by this then it was PROBABLY meant to be a joke... If not you are most likely a Western guy, or that rare girl with a good sense of humor.. And you will be a great catch for some old guy (like me... But not me cause im so sooo taken, here on CLM...
From: China 江苏(jiang su) 苏州(su zhou ) @yeranyi Time : 2014-01-14 19:57:09 #8
Why men in their 40's, 50's, 60's prefer to date much younger women?

Because some people look in the mirror and still think they see what was there 10, 15, 20 years ago. Men especially.(rofl)
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