Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian

Personal Wellbeing

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2015-08-24 15:17:28

I wrote a thread that probably belongs under the heading of "Personal Wellbeing" but I could not find a CLM thread heading that was similar.  I chose "Long Distance Relationships" as the best available because if two people do not have their personal wellbeing in a healthy place their chances of establishing a healthy long distance relationship are close to zero. My personal wellbeing  was in a good place before I started my relationship with my Chinese partner 5 years ago, but a recent event has inspired me to push my wellbeing to an even higher level.

I will now start my thread  ---Are you living your “best” life? ---

Are there  "problems" in your life that have been there  for many, many years?

Recently the death of someone I respected greatly and who was a high achiever had a strong impact on me. This man worked strongly at being the best he could be. He also encouraged everyone around him to work at being the best that  they could be.

While I reflected on the loss of his life,  I looked at my life and while my life has some noteworthy achievements and I live a happy life, I still asked myself the question......... Am I living my “best” life?

I have been overweight for more than 25 years

I have lived a cluttered life for more than 40 years.

On these two aspects alone it was clear to me that I was not living my “best” life.

On the day of this person's death I decided to honor him by committing to get my weight back to the healthy weight range and stay there for the rest of my life. I also committed to remove clutter from my life and live clutter free for the rest of my life.

My partner is very happy with both of these vows.

So far I have lost 5 kg in seven weeks by cutting out sugar and alcohol from my diet and I have also started using the KonMari Method to declutter my house.  My target date to achieve these to goals is the end of October this year. I need to lose at least another 5 kg. The weight my cluttered house is currently losing is much, much larger.

I now have a question for you.

Are you living your “best” life?

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From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2015-08-25 14:53:43 #1
@melcyan - I am delighted and surprised to see this great thread here, Melcyan, regardless of what category you chose to place it under. However, I am not surprised by who submitted it. I would expect nothing less from you.

What is surprising to me is that you are so in tune with our own thinking here. It partially started out of the loss of Gareth, and has been pushed further into action by the fact that a dear personal friend of ours has been struck with a very aggressive form of cancer at the age of 32, with a daughter who is 4, and a husband who adores her, that we have decided while we are rebuilding CLM and ALM to add some features that are totally foreign to normal dating sites.

In the interest of trying to do something positive out of such tragedies, we are adding three sister sites to the dating sites, hopefully for the good of all members, that will focus on healthy eating, physical fitness and mental well being, all with the goal of helping our members live better lives, enjoy life more and (to keep it relevant) make better partners. With luck, we can help them "live their best lives".

This should all unfold during the last quarter and we trust you will be there to give us lots of advice on how to improve on everything we do. I can't imagine anyone better for the job. Although I am sure @Barry1 will be contributing a lot as well. Thanks for a little more incentive to keep it going.
From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2015-08-26 13:35:31 #2
I like the direction that you are taking with changes for CLM and ALM, I know some people want to be "saved" by a new relationship, but it rarely happens. Choosing to live your best life whether you are single or partnered is the way to go. If you are single and living your best life it is inevitable that love will grow in your life. It is also the perfect foundation for establishing a truly great relationship with another person who has done the same.
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2015-08-26 17:05:10 #3

Well spoken, Melcyan.

Similar in some ways to both yourself and @JohnAbbot, I have a friend who recently was diagnosed with a serious illness, in this case lung cancer.

Seeing this occur involuntarily forces one to evaluate one's life. In my case, I've decided to head over to China for an extended trip, this time to do some teaching over there. This is something I'd been thinking of for quite a while and finally I decided to bite the bullet and do it. Who knows how it'll go? Certainly not me. It may well prove to be the blind leading the blind, as I've never taught before. If it fails however, at least I will have made the attempt.

In your case, you've determined to both lose weight as well as get the mess and clutter surrounding you and your family under control. Both of these are very worthy goals. It shows that the passing of your friend certainly wasn't in vain. Losing 5kg in seven weeks already is a great start. I know what a tough slog losing weight can be.

Most certainly, I wish you well, Melcyan. (y)
From: United States Texas Canyon Lake @YinTingYu Time : 2015-08-27 05:10:53 #4
Hi John, I woke early this morning and read your comment to Mel's thread.
I am so sorry to hear of your friend's condition, young and with daughter,... sad.
Daddy will have to be a real "stand up guy" to deal with it.

This cancer thing can be overcome. Happened with my mom. She lived another 15 years but, this all depends on individual cases.
There is a clinic near or outside of Beijing that could possibly be of help.
I can't remember the name of the clinic right now.
I have not been there but it has been recommended by several "alternative healers" and Doctors of Oriental medicine. I have seen some good results.
Since days of old (Hippocrates and Galen), cancer has been the physical sign for need of life change.
The patient must be willing to change the style of living though and be very strict with the regimen.

I don't know why or how but, I reached behind me to the bookshelves and picked up my Father's old bible, opened it up at random to Ecclesiastes and there was Chapter 3 staring me right in the face!!
I read and remembered,..."To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:"...
Perhaps you have heard the Pete Seeger arrangement "Turn, Turn, Turn" ??

I am very glad to read that you may be developing a place for the "... three sister sites to the dating sites, hopefully for the good of all members, that will focus on healthy eating, physical fitness and mental well being, all with the goal of helping our members live better lives, enjoy life more and (to keep it relevant) make better partners. With luck, we can help them "live their best lives".

John, I really sense this is GREAT !!
Do you think "spirituality" might also be included ??
Maybe this falls under the category of "well being" ??
It is my opinion that these topics are NOT foreign but critical and need to be included.
You see,...all of the things we members write here in blog, forum, comment, or thread, on whatever topic, are all small elements of who we each are and this gives "clues" to the community and possible life partner.

Further, when one writes something and presents it on public format, it sort of entices (reminds) them to be more responsible in thought, word, and deed.
I feel all of these things are important in selection of a full time life partner and are perfectly acceptable for a cross cultural "dating " site.

I go now.
Peace and Blessings.
From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2015-08-27 18:14:28 #5
Thank you for your good wishes. Losing the weight is by far the easier of my two tasks. Once I started treating added sugar as a poison, weight loss became inevitable. Interesting also is the fact that I can now pick a greater variety of tastes than I could two months ago.
Good luck with your teaching in China. I don't know when you start, but if you have time, start by tutoring individual students in Australia or China. This can be paid or unpaid. The important thing is that you get some experience no matter how small. Students will ask if you have taught before. For your first class in China, it will give you confidence to say .... yes, but this is my first time teaching more than one student at a time.
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2015-08-28 18:24:28 #6

"The important thing is that you get some experience no matter how small"

Thanks for your advice Melyan but unfortunately I've run out of time to get some teaching practise.

I leave for China in a bit over a week and arrive there around ten o'clock at night (Chengdu).

The following morning, I'll be picked up by a representative from the University who will take me straight to where I'll be workig. My first class could be as soon as that very day, certainly I won't have the luxury of settling in for long.

I hope it all goes well. If it doesn't, it won't be for want of trying.
From: China 河北(he bei) 保定(bao ding ) @sandy339 Time : 2015-09-04 10:20:43 #7
Thanks for sharing your thought:-)
"Are you living your “best” life?"
Well, mostly, yes, I do what I want, and get some improvement and chance for that, a steady and good life
and still have some room to impove, I should be grateful to all these? But why I am fed up with all these? hehe have a nice day:)
From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2015-09-05 14:27:49 #8
Hi Sandy, it is good to see you again and read one of your comments. In the past when I have tried to hard to find a partner, for the most part it has not gone my way. During the times in my life where my focus was to live my best life and live it with gratitude, my life just unfolded in a positive way. Ironically, this has proved the best way for me to find a partner.
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