|From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @paulfox1||Time : 2016-10-18 05:51:02|
The greatest fear of any parent is that they should lose their child to an untimely death. Children pre-deceasing their parents is not the natural order of things.
For any parent, losing a child must be devastating beyond comprehension, but when one stops to consider the added trauma of losing an only child, then the feeling of devastation becomes almost beyond profound.
On Saturday, October 15th, at an extremely well-respected school in my QLV called Beijing New Oriental, a 16-year-old student attacked one of his classmates, in the classroom, with a Stanley knife. In one swift movement, the perpetrator slit the throat of his classmate leaving him to bleed to death in a matter of seconds, in front of the whole class. It has rocked my QLV.
What's worse is that this same perpetrator had apparently previously threatened a female classmate (with the same knife), some time ago, and the school did nothing. Had they acted, then maybe this tragic event would never have happened.
Chinese people are considered to be amongst the most hard-working people in the world. Many are. However, the Chinese call 'bosses' their 'leaders', and many of them are too lazy or too preoccupied with trivialities to prevent incidents occurring, preferring instead to deal with matters after they arise.
Schools and teachers have a duty-of-care. Parents who bid farewell to their child in the morning, should not live in fear all day as to whether or not their child will be safe.
Yet in schools, decisions are often made on a whim. Not only fairy-like but when more than one 'leader' is involved, it becomes a gladiatorial clash between titans of triviality. Each Oracle being completely unable to follow through with the implementation of any decision, even though such a decision is handed down like a commandment from Mount Olympus. They subsequently become as resolute as a weathervane on the top of the village church steeple. In short, their decision-making process is nothing more than a marathon of pointlessness.
Whether by choice or design, the 'leader' of the foreign teachers at the aforementioned school, who is a Westerner himself, sent out instructions to all the foreign teachers on Saturday night, NOT to discuss this matter with the newly-arrived teachers in case it frightened them away. Instead, he concentrated on organising his 'troops' so as not to be late for the tailor on Monday morning, since being measured for their new suit was of paramount importance. He later went on to instruct those same teachers not to be late, since being late would mean they would have to walk across a part of the schoolyard where the weekly 'flag-raising ceremony' would take place. Oh, heaven forbid!
The nonchalant attitude spoke volumes. He's sending out instructions in a 'business-as-usual' manner, while his own colleagues, and students under his care, are mourning the tragic death of an extremely popular student.
The dead students' mother was photographed on Sunday. She was lying on the ground outside the school gate surrounded by other parents who were hopelessly attempting to comfort her.
There's a collage of family photographs that have been uploaded to the internet, including a musical soundtrack that when watched and listened to, would make the eyes of even the person with the coldest heart well-up with tears.
Not only have these innocent people lost their only son, but we should also feel for the parents of the perpetrator. Their son is going to prison for a long, long time. Two completely innocent couples have lost their only child, and for what?
The one-child policy in China, although now scrapped, has created a generation of people who will one day lead this country.
Words fail me.
|From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 宁波(ning bo ) @zqy2014||Time : 2016-10-20 11:10:48 #1|
I have to say this is a really good thread which is worth for all of us to read especial the ones who have already been or going to be parents of children!
We all grow up from an original family and there we learn everything and parents are our first and whole life teacher and guider. This told us how a happy original family and loving and healthy parents means for one child. I feel these almost mean everything for one person and influence them whole life to some extent. When one can't be allowed, accepted and appreciated to be himself/herself in the original family, he/she will not easily do the same to himself/herself either in the later. One who has suffered a physically or verbally violence or threaten during his/her childhood normally will lack or has a low sense of security, this or that kind of fear inside and thus will go through phobia in some special stage of the life. The phobia could last a long time like several years until it has been cured. When one feels fears inside and she/he normally will feel anxious and angry and then an intensive & uncontrollable impulse to take some kind of action to release stress and keep emotional balance inside.There are two could be targets of his/her angry spear, any other innocent person around or himself/herself . Depressed(self) or attack/murder(others).
The emotion is the original source or preparation of an action. When the negative emotion can't be properly understood and released or sublimed for a long-term, a physical or psychological problem will occurs to that person sooner or later. I think emotion's proper understanding, soothing and release is very necessary and important for health of one person and the relationship. So one had better to be aware of that and try to find a proper way for self and do it without delaying.
Some time ago, the director of my son's class asked me to give a speech to his class on some psychological knowledge related with adolescence. As one of students' parent, I felt lucky she could has such awareness and care about psychological health of the students in the class. I suggested first to give speech to the parents of the students and said that is even more urgent and vital than to students. Actually about half year ago, I have tried to send a message to the local Bureau of Civil Affairs' mail box and suggested that all new couples must join in a relationship(conjugal relation and parent-child one) related psychological training and passed the relevant exam. It is a pity I did not send it out successfully in the end for some reason. At the same time, I think psychological health should be seriously paid attention by the school and society and added into as one of the textbooks, all teachers need join in the relevant training and passed the relevant exam to get the certificate to be a teacher. I guess if these have been executed, the mentioned school should have already done something to minimize the murder happened in later time... I hope the school, teachers, the students, the parents, the perpetrator and all of us could learn something from this case and try best to be a responsible person, parent and creature in the universe.... I hope the killed child could be safe and happy in the heaven now...
I believe if we all including parents, teachers and society could pay enough attention to the psychological health and try best to do something we can, then such reasonless and crazy murders could be less and less...
|From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @paulfox1||Time : 2016-10-22 23:01:26 #2|
Thank you for your long and informative comment. I wholeheartedly agree. CLM members who know me will also know that I abhor organised religion in all it's forms. However, that didn't stop me from persevering my way through, what was an arduous task, of reading a book about the history of religion.
I can't remember the title, but it was written by two scholars of religion who had studied the subject in a pragmatic way. I do, however, remember how difficult it was to understand. Paragraph after paragraph needed to be re-read and dissected in order to understand it.
The simplest way to describe what they were talking about is to imagine a tree. Each branch being a different religion, yet all coming back to the main trunk of the tree. The trunk of the tree was essentially the 'root', or 'core', of all known organised religions.
Now, my original post and your lengthy comment bear no connection to any religion, so why do I mention it?
The reason is this:
For as long as humans have walked on this planet, there seems to be some kind of inherrent 'need' to believe in some form of 'God'. With this 'need' to believe, there naturally emerge writings, texts, and so on. All of these writings and texts are different, yet seem to contain a common theme.
In more than 1200 of these writings there is one particular 'commandment', (if I may use that word?), and it basically translates into this -
"Do as you will, but harm no-one'
The Christian Bible words this as, 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' - which is essentially the same meaning.
To my mind, the belief in 'God' has absolutely NOTHING to do with these words. To me, this is just common-sense. If you want people to be good to you, be good to them. If you want to be hated, then hate others. It's so simple, anyone can understand it.
Sadly though, we live in a world where ownership of as much material wealth as is possible, prevails. People are fighting amongst each other to claim a bit of land where their Great, Great, Great, Great Grandad once took a pee.
Wars are being fought because one person doesn't believe in the same 'God' as another person, and innocent students are being killed just because of another person's ego.
From my phrase above, surely the cliche 'Live-and-let-live' was born?
Websites such as this only exist because human beings have this need to search for happiness during however many years they have left on this planet.
Yet it's happiness on a planet that's certainly NOT 'happy'.
|@Anonymous25460||Time : 2016-12-03 21:13:27 #3|
This sort of incidents happens everywhere still in back street of Asia.
The main point is that Orientals are too much insulting each other very meanly with an infantile, unrestrained tongue in any community, when they are angry and aroused by loss of face. It really becomes draconic over trivial dispute. Of course, when they are growing up in the school, it's much more happening. The social face is everything, specially to any Chinese people.
There is an old saying in Asia; " When get lose your bull, you fix your barn." Yes, it is common symptom of all old generation over there, whether you are a teacher, boss of company or director in the government. They were never educated to prevent it from the every small happenings like this through ages after ages , though it is psychologically passive nature of hard-working farmer's attitude to consider that as just nothing but a mere destiny and observing the Nature.
Actually this is their mentally twisted nature which had been programmed and built quite early in subconscious level derived from age-old feudlistic oppression by old, uncivilized macho elders. They have Confucian morality, and yet it wasn't rooted deeply into their soul EQ independently and individually with strong responsibility on social, public level. Most likely it had been developed into more intellectual competition and success privately along with their family and kinsmen.They had no time to re-think of how to build social harmony and keeping the rule of law in the society effectively. Now it might be time for them to take it into consideration in collective level all around neighboring Asia, too.