Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian

My Last Thoughts

From: Canada British Columbia Vancouver @Imi5922 Time : 2015-12-28 01:47:22

I'd like to use the forum as a platform to say a few last words about the recent heated argument that had happened in my last article "Are You a Player?" during this peaceful and family tradition that we call Christmas.

First of all, HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone!

I believe, we members, CLM workers, and owners of this exceptionally well-serving dating site should feel blessed to have and be part of something that is unique in this hard and greedy world. We also should see that our CLM family is vast, stretching from one part of the world to the other. It's a global family. Members of our family fly great distances to see each other just for a few weeks or a month. We are different. We think in different ways. It can be a personal choice, it can be because of our tradition, or it can be because of an unfortunate incident that had happened earlier in our lives. However, as long as we keep that in mind that we are a colorful family with our differences and can respect other family members' views and thoughts, I think we should be just fine.

Barry and Paul. I'm never going to be like you. You two are never going to be like me; we are too old for a change, now, and frankly, I'm very comfortable in my skin. As long as you can accept that I'm different from you, I'll have no problem with you guys in the future. We have only one thing in common; we are bloggers here in this family. We do it for free. We do it just because we love to express our thoughts, feelings, and ideas in our writings. You two spend countless hours in front of your computer just to write something for others. I do the same, but try to triple the amount of hours that you two put in your effort to come up with your articles and then you might be close to the number of hours I spend in front of my computer.

If you attack my article in such way that you did in my last article, I'm sorry, but I can't take it other than as a personal attack. I always put my thoughts and my feelings into my blogs. My blogs represent me; I will stand by them all the way because simply a part of me lives in them.

Yes, Paul, attacking another fellow blogger and make a statement of his looks is not a nice thing to do. Everybody gets old; you're right. I said in my comment to Barry "sagging face." One word that you guys are still chewing on. How many words did you two use to insult the face of my inner feelings and thoughts that was represented in my article?

As a fellow blogger, I respect you guys for what you do here for free. Not that long ago, there was a man, a member of this family who, unfortunately, is not with us anymore. We all should follow his teachings about China, the way he represented himself here on CLM, and the way he criticised fellow bloggers' articles. He had CRITICISED me, too, more than once, but I had never had to deal with him like I had to deal with you guys. You guys spat on my article with your words and with that you spat into my face. I couldn't let you do that.

The bottom line is that we are different; we have different styles of writing. I love what and how I write about things. If you don't like it, please, don't read it. On the other hand, I will still read your articles because I have a long way to go, and I can't afford not to learn from you guys and other bloggers here.

Paul and Barry, thank you for reading my last comment to you!

To the others who read this forum, I would like to tell some more about my upcoming articles. They will be romantic. I will talk in them about feelings, relationships, sex in a way that is acceptable to CLM.

Here are the titles and a short description of the stories if you are interested.

MEI MING - It's based on a true story that I have seen online in a documentary and touched me deeply. It's already been submitted to CLM, and will be my next post.

YAN'S STORY: FIRE IN HER EYES - This is a true story of my ex-girlfriend who when she told me about her unfortunate accident, I knew, one day, I had to turn it into a story.

AUTUMN IN GUILIN - This is a story of my current Chinese girlfriend (hopefully my future wife) and I, spending Mid-Autumn Festival in Guilin, her hometown - Yangchun, and Shenzhen.

UNFINISHED TALE OF THE RING - Fiction. This is the tragic love story of a white man and a Chinese woman. However, I've got something on my mind to end it with a happy ending.

THE BEAUTY AND THE FRAUD - Fiction. In this, I tell the tale of a Chinese woman who worked for and deceived a white man. However, the man falls in love with another real Chinese beauty while he is in China, but she's married.

Thank you all for reading my thoughts, and again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

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From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2015-12-28 12:52:37 #1
Imi, I appreciate you posting this and hope it will be well received by everyone. There are several rather angry comments waiting to be approved over on your blog and I am going to hold off approving and posting them, and instead send people over to this thread.
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2015-12-28 15:05:06 #2
One of my favorite little poems is verse 51 of Edward FitzGerald's translation of the Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

The implication of the above is that once an event has occurred, basically little or nothing can be done to alter it. It doesn't just refer to writing but life in general. At least, I like to think this is so.

To this message though, I say balderdash! (With greatest respect of course, to author Omar Khayyám).

If mistakes have been made, then they should be able to be corrected.

I made such an error when I negatively commented upon Imi's latest article, "Are You a Player?"

This was wrong of me and I unreservedly apologise. Let a new dawn arise here, like a spectacular phoenix from the ashes. A mythical creature renowned for its hope, sincerity, integrity, and most importantly - tolerance.

It seems I don't have a romantic bone in my body. At least, this is what everyone tells me after writing 58 articles, about 90,000 words. So why should I criticise someone who does?

2016 is at our doorstep. Let's all approach this new year with renewed resolutions of enhanced inner decency and increased moral fortitude. The world possesses enough brooding darkness and dour negativity within it without us senselessly and stupidly adding to the already egregious burden.

From: Canada British Columbia Vancouver @Imi5922 Time : 2015-12-29 01:08:42 #3

Barry, if I could I would personally apologise to you for making a personal remark of your age! Truly, you're in better shape at 61 than me at 46. I might never reach 61, but if I did, I'd love to have only half of the energy and wit that you have.

I know you have a romantic side otherwise Tina wouldn't be with you. Maybe, you just have a hard time to express it in your writings. Good luck to you in 2016!
From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2015-12-30 06:36:31 #4
@Barry1 - I apologize for the delay in responding to your apology above. I was getting ready to when I got distracted by something that damned Paul said. (think)

This was one of the most well written, thoughtful and meaningful apologies I have ever read. I can't describe the weight it has taken off my shoulders over what was happening here.

It goes a long way to erasing what has happened here of late, and I do intend to literally erase all of the negative items on Imi's blog as soon as Paul and others have a chance to respond to my response to Paul.

I have made an apology of my own over on the blog, and I hope both you and Imi will give it a read. Thanks, John
From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2015-12-30 11:52:44 #5
In light of what I have just read here from John and Imi, I would like to make the following apology.....

@johnabbot and others. If I, at any time, gave the impression that I think I am a ‘better’ blogger than my fellow bloggers, I sincerely apologise
For anything else there John, I guess we can agree to disagree?

@Imi5922. If I insulted you PERSONALLY whilst commenting on your blog, I sincerely apologise - it was not my intention to ‘attack’ YOU.....only your article. (and PLEASE don’t say that by attacking your article, I am attacking YOU, because I assure you my feelings there are different and we would have to agree to disagree also)

Anonymous people. If I offended you by calling you ‘pussies’ then I apologise. When I see a comment that is ‘insulting’ or derogatory and hidden behind ‘anonymous’, then sadly, my first thoughts are that the person is ‘hiding’. John gave a reasonable, possible explanation for your anonymity, which I accept.

John is correct when he says that all of us bloggers should pull together for the benefit of CLM - and he is 100% correct in saying that. New members don’t want to see fellow bloggers bitching and fighting about who-said-what etc

In fact, after reading several comments again I think that certain words COULD have been chosen more carefully.
By example, perhaps saying Imi was BEHAVING like a ‘wimp’ instead of BEING a wimp could have resulted in a different understanding of the underlying feeling, and far less of a possible insult.

But the truth is, (and I think other bloggers will agree), that when we are WRITING a blog, a lot of time is spent, we do our best to include (and envoke) feelings and emotions as well as putting lots of effort into writing them.
This, I feel, is usually NOT the case when we are responding to, or commenting on, a blog or forum post. This is usually much quicker, without the same amount of thought or consideration. It then means lots of extra time is spent trying to ‘fix’ the problems that arise
@Anonymous23794 Time : 2015-12-30 14:07:43 #6
Some readers think Imi is too romantic with his words. Some readers like me, think Barry's words are at times, unnecessarily complex or obscure. The answer for all those readers is to ignore the author that does not appeal to them.

I was one of the people who made a comment that added to the problem. I apologize to Barry and Paul for my comment containing the unnecessary words "old and foolish".

My original intention was to make fun of giving unwanted advice, talking of behalf of everyone and to defend Imi from what I considered to be unwarranted attacks. There was absolutely no intended spite or venom in my words but I can now see how they were perceived that way.

No matter how you look at it, my “attack” on Barry's use of words was far gentler than Barry's attack on Imi's use of words. However, looking back, my response, was clearly inappropriate. I suspect that if I only drew attention to what I perceive as Barry's overuse of complex and obscure words, and omitted the words “old and foolish”, I would have got the same reaction anyway because of the charged atmosphere in which the words were presented.

Here is how I would have liked my original comment to have appeared -

On behalf of all CLM members (past, present and future), I need to give you some advice on your writing. If you ever have the urge to use words like 
you must resist that urge. Using words like these may make your writing appear outdated.
You have to excuse me now. I need to saunter around the block with a contemplative countenance while I muse on the magnificence of my mellifluous verbosity.

Given the atmosphere of Imi's blog, these words probably would have failed too. They would be much better placed on one of Barry's blogs.

I understand that a word like “mellifluous” is also a word that could easily be added to the above category of mine of words to be avoided, but I heard it thirty years ago, liked the sound of it, and this was my first chance ever, to use it.

John, I will not be annoyed with you if you do not print my comment. However, it will be a real struggle for me to find a way to use the word “mellifluous” again.
From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2015-12-30 18:25:32 #7
Your mellifluous apology is accepted (rofl)

For those who feel the urgent need to look up the word in the dictionary, here's a few synonyms to save you the trouble

act of courtesy, advantage, agreeability, amiability, amicability, attractiveness, blissfulness,
charm, civility, congeniality, cordiality, courteousness, courtesy, delightfulness, etiquette,
gallantry, goodness, graceful gesture, graciousness, pleasantry, polite act, politeness,
respectfulness, sociability, tact, thoughtfulness, virtue.
From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @sharonshi Time : 2016-01-05 22:29:37 #8

The classic Chinese saying "Though the lips and teeth are so close to each other (They kiss each other more often than ever you kiss any other woman ), the teeth occasionally bite the lips innocently."

You guys' blogs are of different styles. Barry and Pual's blogs tend to be documentary, and Imi's more personal and fictional.

However, they are all meaningful.
Barry shows foreign guys the look of countryside in China, the ugly side and beautiful side, poor living condition and beautiful smile on ordinary people's faces. How a proud and stuborn Barry who was difficult to accustom at the beginning comes into being a happy teacher staying in China! (giggle)

Paul shows how does a foreign guy get along with Chinese woman in daily life. How strange Chinese woman can be. What is she thinking? and How kind she can be.(giggle)

Imi helps to keep women's dream of romantic love living. Though John and CLM family have done a lot to prevent from cheaters, they are not in a good position to keep some playboys away. The existance of playboys ruin women's dream of love or make it difficult. lmi's stories tell women "There IS someone."

In addition, Imi's life experience is Soooo encouraging! Never cease trying and chellenging. I prefer the language learning and starting gym business parts. The Making of A Man! (f) Those parts reminded me of the Hero in the film Blueberry Night.

Wish you all is well!

Thank you vrey much for sharing!

Looking forward to following posts!

From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2016-01-06 18:03:16 #9

I had almost forgotten what an intelligent and beautiful person you were, Sharonshi.

Thank you indeed for your wise words. (clap)(clap):):)(f)(f)
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