|From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @paulfox1||Time : 2016-12-08 21:12:28|
That word, 'Fine', when spoken by a woman, has a completely different meaning to its literal one. I have spent a great deal of time trying to teach a Chinese female friend of mine what Western women mean when they say 'Fine!'. I'm struggling to get her to understand...
However, if you are a Western man reading this, then you know full well what 'fine' means when uttered by your wife/girlfriend/sister/mother, etc.
So now it's time for us MEN to let women know OUR RULES, and the REAL meaning behind the words we use when talking to our loved ones.
This list is in no particular order and there's no rule that's more important than any other. I have therefore decided to number them all as 'Number 1'.
If you're a man, you WILL find yourself unconsciously nodding as you read down the list, and you WILL smile. However, if you're a woman, this is REALLY for 'educational purposes' only.
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change it.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You never hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And NO, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
JUST SAY IT!
1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
|From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot||Time : 2016-12-10 14:03:28 #1|
You had me with everyone of these except this one:
"1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You never hear us complaining about you leaving it down."
You wake up at 3 AM because you have to go to the bathroom, and it requires sitting down to do the job. Perhaps you've been sick and this is an occasion when you're in a more than a little hurry. You don't bother to turn the light on, because you don't have time and you think you can see well enough in the little bit of moonlight coming through the narrow crack in the window curtains. You rush to sit down, letting go as your butt is about to hit the seat.
Only guess what? Your butt doesn't hit the seat, because some moron, probably yourself, has left the seat up. Your butt hits the water just as split second after you have filled it yourself with an ungodly sludge.
And you curse the misearable son of bitch, probably yourself, who so ignorantly left the toilet seat up!!! And you suddenly realize that women have every right to ask us to leave the toilet seat down after we have finished peeing.
We all have to sit down sometimes Paul, but women have to sit down everytime, and IMHO both courtesy and common sense dictate that we all should lower the toilet seat for those who follow us into the bathroom. It is a very simple gesture and it can save the next poor soul from a horrible misadventure.
|From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @paulfox1||Time : 2016-12-10 22:51:24 #2|
And you berated Barry1 for his 'toilet discussions', lol.
Oh, come on, John - it's all supposed to be tongue-in-cheek...........or is it?:|
|@Anonymous25488||Time : 2016-12-11 08:12:05 #3|
|From: Netherlands @Macchap||Time : 2016-12-11 08:47:32 #4|
Never have read these rules before, I live under a rock... with WiFi.
Yes Paul, you were right: I have laughed.Funny stuff.
About women asking their boyfriend/husband if they're fat or look fat, regardless of your response, she does not believe you anyway. She probably will be mad at you when you agree with her by saying she looks like a hippo with obesitas.
Regarding the toilet seat, I'm with @JohnAbbot but for aesthetic reasons only. Put down the toilet seat ànd the toilet cover, it looks so much better closed than open/up.
|From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot||Time : 2016-12-11 11:52:14 #5|
Yes, it is all, like life itself, for the most part "tongue in cheek". :)
|From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @paulfox1||Time : 2016-12-12 06:39:00 #6|
Many years ago, I knew a married couple who operated a little differently. She would always leave the seat UP, and only put it down when she wanted to use the 'facility'. Afterwards, she would then return the seat to its upright position.
Now THAT'S what I call 'toilet training', lol.
|From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 宁波(ning bo ) @zqy2014||Time : 2016-12-19 11:27:36 #7|
I feel it is one of humanities that human being naturally behave basing on their own experience, acknowledge and standpoint for the biggest convenience or profit for them. Human beings have all kinds of liberties like how to say, behave, respond, listen or ignore, keep same or make some improvements and excute them but also need to respect others' ones at the same time. Win-win cooporation is always the best one for both parties even if it is not always easy to achieve. Everyone has the right or liberty to tell someone to pay attention on or not to do something but it is still that person's right or liberty to choose to listen to us or ignore or how to respond us. However, the good thing is in no matter there is always chances for all to make choice under any situation. Probably this is the crux to find the way out. Actually, no one wants to feel like be ordered or forced to do or change something by others except by themselves. Just for reference.