Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian


From: United Kingdom @good88person Time : 2016-07-31 19:41:48



I am a 61 year old well educated Chinese man.   I have lived in England for 40 years ... so ... I can see  BOTH  SIDES of the story ... concerning ... Western women and Chinese women ( in Mainland China )


Many many many  TRADITIONAL  Chinese women ( in Mainland China ) are CRAZY  CRAZY CRAZY  OBSESSED  with


getting married , START  A  FAMILY  , have a baby , GIVE  UP  HER  JOB + spend  ALL  DAY  play with her children , cooking for her FAMILY ( husband and children ) , DEVOTE  HER  LIFE  to  LOOKING  AFTER  HER  FAMILY ( husband and baby )


have a  LONG , STABLE  MARRIAGE  with  ONE  MAN ........ until her hair grows grey.


The  ONLY  WAY  that ...

the  DREAMS  of the  TRADITIONAL  Chinese woman ( in Mainland China ) ... can come true is ........

she marries a man who ........

OWNS an apartment ( NO mortgage.  The future FAMILY will be BETTER OFF because ... NO mortgage to pay.  NO rent to pay. )  

+ have a  GOOD  JOB  

+ have  SUBSTANTIAL  SAVINGS  ( for emergencies , losing his job , etc )


Please do NOT WASTE TIME ... arguing whether ... it is right or wrong.  

THAT  IS ...  HOW  IT  IS ... and you  CANNOT  CHANGE  IT !


If a man ........

do  NOT  have a  GOOD  JOB

do  NOT  have  SUBSTANTIAL  SAVINGS  ( for emergencies , losing his job , etc )

do  NOT  own a house ( preferably  WITHOUT  MORTGAGE ) ........

you will find that ........

PRETTY Chinese women , PRETTY English women , PRETTY Australian women , PRETTY American women

will  REJECT  YOU ... and ... will NOT DATE YOU ... and ... will  NOT  MARRY  YOU ( unless you are a  YOUNG  HANDSOME  MAN )


Please do NOT WASTE TIME ... arguing whether ... it is right or wrong.  

THAT  IS ...  HOW  IT  IS ... and you  CANNOT  CHANGE  IT !


Many Chinese women ( in Mainland China ) are  BRUTALLY  BLUNT ... and ... tell you ...

she is  REJECTING  YOU  because .....



Many many many PRETTY English women , PRETTY Australian women , PRETTY American women

will be PC ( Politically Correct ) ... and ... REJECT  YOU  with  PC  LIES ( Political  Correct  Lies ) ... like ........

... she likes you ... but ... you are NOT her "soul mate" ( what the hell does that mean ! )

... there is "no chemistry" ( what the hell does that mean ! )

... you and her ... have different taste in music and movies

... you do not make her laugh

... she  LIKES  you , but she does NOT LOVE you

... she would like to be your "ordinary" friend ( without sex )

... 1,000 other  PC  LIES ( Politically Correct lies )

The  BIG   SAD  JOKE  is  ........



ACTUALLY  BELIEVE   the  PC  LIES ( Politically Correct lies ) !  Ha !  Ha !  LOL ( Laugh Out Loud ) !



-------------------------------------------------- --------------------------


所以...我可以看到这个故事的两边... ...关于西方女人和中国女人(在中国大陆)









































... 1000等PC谎言(政治正确的谎言)



真的相信了PC的谎言(政治正确的谎言)!哈!哈! LOL(大声笑)!

Comments to Thread
(Showing 1 to 11 of 11) 1
@Anonymous25124 Time : 2016-08-01 23:34:45 #1

I agree wholeheartedly.... well said!

From: Netherlands @Macchap Time : 2016-08-02 05:04:16 #2

You may have point.

The traditional woman is naive when she pins all her hopes and dreams on one man, because the man can lose his job, his savings and or his house. Then what? What about the man meeting a fine young thing that beats his wife in all departments and divorces her? Where does this her leave her? Empty handed I guess.

Back to you.

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-02 22:24:56 #3


You are 61 years old and have lived in England for 40 years. One doesn't have to be a mathematician to figure out that you were not educated in England. Had you been, then you would realise that writing in capital letters is akin to shouting!  It's rude, obnoxious and shows a distinct lack of quality often found in half-educated people.


You abandoned your country 40 years ago in search of a better life. I hope you found it!

China is not the same country as it was 40 years ago.

These days many women don't want kids - they are forced to. Traditional family values, culture and peer pressure essentially back them into a corner. They MUST get married and have a kid before they reach the age of 30.

Every day of my life I see mothers who literally pretend to love or care about the kid they didn't want or wish they never had. Kids pushed into summer school whenb they should be on holiday or enjoying a rest, mothers who are too busy to pick their kid up from school so they have to go to a hotel room until such time as Mummy has 'time' to come and collect them.


What some Chinese kids have to endure here would be considered bordering on child abuse in the UK.


However, the rest of your post is correct. Chinese women are mostly materialistic and men are just plain stupid because their 'brain' lives between their legs !

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-03 06:33:38 #4

To see how really dumb some men are, check this out

From: United States Florida Thonotosassa @Daeouse Time : 2016-08-04 07:30:42 #5



Yikes! That news story is quite unnerving!


1) Please stop shouting at us all.
2) Everyone has their faults, and by decrying an entire country seems shallow and cruel to me.
3) If you find a woman like that, why would you keep talking to her? I would find someone else who didn't seem to have such a streak of narcissism. . .

From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 沈阳(shen yang ) @AchrisT Time : 2016-08-05 19:48:20 #6


WOW Have you been burnt so bad, with that outlook. :}  Extremely harsh, on the writer.

First thing I agree that China has change a very lot in 40 Years, but I have found that there is some woman that still are looking for that. Even though it is changing, I believe for the better and will continue to change after the new divorce ruling from the government.

The truth about the “broken woman” is well known and often seen as a poor cultural behavior by many of Western Society. It is what it is and time will take care of that, just as it did in the old Europe.

The extra classes and summer school would like to disagree with you as a teacher here in China. Being Confucius and his philosophy made a strong impression on education back in 550 to 479 BC. Then strengthen though the Confucius Colleges during the Ming and Quin Dynasties. One of the major focal points s that you are educated and learn from the time you rise out of bed to you return. It is the bases of the education system throughout many Asian countries. With that said I agree with you that it does seem to be abusive in our terms and culture. But it has been seen through thousand plus years here in China. As far as the hotel thing I have never heard or been brought aware of that.  The students I have had over the last two years, ranging from 3 to 18 are pushed to learn. If you have ever seen the entrance exam you would know and understand why. The parents I have dealt with over the years are concerned not because they want to get rid of the child, it is for the better interest of the child that they worry about.

The statement of them being materialistic is spot on as in their education it is not the work that can be done, but the paper you hang on the wall. A parent wants the best for their children all the same.  I am not going to say that the hotel room doesn’t happen, but face it in all societies there are good and bad. I am sure if you look at it by percentages you will find it fits a norm.



From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 沈阳(shen yang ) @AchrisT Time : 2016-08-05 20:14:16 #7


I am not sure of your situation other then what you have said, you been gone for 40 years. I am sure China was a place to invest 40 years ago. But hind sight is always 40/40.  

First thing; Buying a house is a very new custom in the Chinese culture. I look back 20 years ago I can see buying a bike and a CD Player was the most common. I will dig up a quote if you really want the correct number. Buying of the house was only common among the high born, and that is still very near history then old cultural beliefs. You came from a well off family I take it. You had to been gone 20 years before common folk or general population had that as part of their culture. But you may have come back, so you watch cultural things change, and as young men we never really pay attention to the small things till after we really mature. :}.

The issue of a traditional marriage doesn’t scare me, till there is a price tag to go with it, (as you have already seen).  I would still want a woman to invest as much in the relationship as I do to keep it fair. In light of the new divorce laws (I say new but a couple of years old), who buys the house and the car gets it back come a divorce. I believe will lead to more independent partners that will end up sharing the cost and the rewards if the marriage goes south.

I know what you describe is still seen in the society here, but fading fast. The “Naked Marriage” is becoming not common yet but you hear of more and more as time goes by. Co-habitation is also seen to be on the growth, even though China is China and the numbers are hard to come forth.

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-06 12:43:27 #8


With respect, your attitude towards Chinese education seems to be one of 'if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it'. Kids are taught rote mentality which is something we could teach a parrot to do!

The entrance exam (gaokao) is also seriously flawed IMHO.

In my day, we had to take an exam known as the 11+ (eleven-plus), the results of which had a huge bearing on which school or college you could attend, (same as the gaokao does in China).

I failed my 11+ - only by a few marks, but a failure nevertheless. I was dumbfounded, shocked, amazed and definitely angry with myself. Fortunately, falling just a few marks short of a 'pass' meant that a student could re-sit the exam. I did, and I passed it easily. Had I not had that opportunity, then I would not have been allowed to attend the excellent school and college that I subsequently attended, and would not have received the quality education that I got.

Chinese kids are not so lucky. The gaokao is a one-chance exam. Failing by even one point can ruin a kids life.

As for Chinese education in general, it's hard work for those kids - very hard....and as for us FT's (Foreign Teachers), we're often nothing more than babysitters or paliative care givers!

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-06 13:02:29 #9

There's nothing wrong with cohabitation. It's worked in the west for many years now. Long gone is the need to have that bit of paper they call a 'marriage certificate'.

Divorce in China has been easy for many years. You both sign a bit of paper, it gets stamped, and in 5 seconds your'e free! It's one reason why I can never fathom why Chinese women hold marriage so sacred when they can get a divorce during their tea break!

Not so in the west. Oh no.......We have to suffer for 2 years. We must go and have 'counselling'.  We must sit in the same room as each other, grit our teeth and listen to some old spinster try and get to the 'root' of the problem. After a year or so of 'legal separation', we can apply to the courts to get a divorce. Shortly afterwards we may receive a decree nisi (halfway divorced), before the decree absolute comes through 6 months later....


Then we are asked why we don't want to do it all over again and marry another. (fubar)


Remember these words....

A woman marries a man in the hope that he will change - but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman in the hope that she won't change - but she does.


Your relationship is never likely to better than it is in the very beginning. After that, it's downhill all the way!

From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 沈阳(shen yang ) @AchrisT Time : 2016-08-08 15:16:26 #10


I understand and welcome your respective opinion. So please also in return understand that it’s true with me. I sometimes just automatically believe in an open forum that it is easy to agree to disagree. It is automatically understood that everything is given with the highest of respect to opinion and belief.

I am not sure, of your situation and location, but it must be different than it is here in the northeast. I have read what I wrote, couple times now, and nowhere does it state I believe the test is (I quote you) “'if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it'. That is just you putting words in my mouth. Sense beginning in 2014 the Chinese entrance exam has been started to be reformed, with choices and different sittings.

You where stating, IMHO, and if I understood you right, (your quote),  ”… Kids pushed into summer school whenb they should be on holiday or enjoying a rest, mothers who are too busy to pick their kid up from school” … you are implying that the parents are neglectful and uncaring.

My opinion is based on the facts that:

1)     They have no control of the test, the material or direction of the test;

2)     They have no control of what university their child can apply to (in China);

3)     They have no control over the changes of the test and when the changes will occur.

They do as a parent has an influence on setting up their children with the most possible way of filling their toolbox. Away to give their child a greater chance of a successful life.

Now to clarify my statement so you don’t read into it again, I am not saying there is no abusive parents, all societies have the misfortune of having them. You need to take a test in almost everything, except being a parent.   I did even state that I never heard of the hotel thing.

(I use Chinese entrance exam instead of Gaokao, as to make it understandable to people that do not live or understand Chinese.) I am sorry that I didn’t do it properly and state it by name and then define it. But the “Brits” have always been more formal then the Americans.

Your Quote “The gaokao is a one-chance exam.”; again must be different in your location then mine. I know from my exploration of the exam, dates back to the year 2009, that students are allowed to take the entrance exam after a failed try. They have to wait one year and it is recommended that they take a remedial course as to not fail it a second time. (I am sorry I don’t know the true name of the remedial course). Now if the re-sitting of the exam started in 2009 or was before I am not sure, I am also not sure if it was always allowed. I assume it is only in the northeast of China, as you are stating a conflicting opinion. I also don’t know what happens if a second failure happens. I did talk to a Chinese colleague, she stated she never knew anyone that failed the second time. I am sure there has to be some cases of it, though.

In your quote, ”As for Chinese education in general, it's hard work for those kids - very hard....and as for us FT's (Foreign Teachers), we're often nothing more than babysitters or paliative care givers!”

I agree totally with the statement that the education in general is hard work for the kids. All the way through the educational travel for these kids are one test after another meaning a better level school or a basic education. But, this in no way reflects on the parents, but makes harder for them to build a better life for their children. You “have to play the cards you are dealt” the best way you can or see. It is not abuse; it is dealing with the system not in your control.

As far as being a babysitter or palliative care giver, I wouldn’t be that, nor would I work for a school requiring that. But I also have a monthly check that comes outside of teaching, so I can be pickier then someone that depends strictly on a teacher’s salary.

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-09 14:27:34 #11


Maybe we are talking at cross-purposes here.

(For those who don't know, the 'gaokao' is a standard Chinese exam that all students must take after completing year/grade 9. It determines their future - literally!)

It is possible to take the gaokao exam a second time, but a student must redo the whole of year 9 - so not quite a 're-sit' is it?

I agree with you that parents have no control of the tests nor the education system. The flaw lies (IMHO) with the fact that students are simply taught how to pass the test.

That aside, the pressure is HUGE in China for kids not only to succeed, but to excel in every subject they learn - which is impossible.

The sheer number of people that make up the population of China has much to do with this kind of pressure. More and more students are taking year/grade 12 abroad in Canada or the USA just so they can return to China in a few years with the chance of getting a 'good' or 'better' job than those who have not studied abroad.

As for my comment about babysitting and/or paliative care, you said that you wouldn't do it nor work for a school that requires it.

Of course, no school in their right mind is going to 'require' you to be a babysitter, but by default, you will be.

Without doubt one of the most challenging issues facing any ESL teacher in China, (and undoubtedly other countries too), is what to when faced with a classroom full of students whose levels of English range from being very good to totally sh*t.

Do you try to teach the ones with low abilty and bore the pants off those with a higher level, or teach the ones with a higher level and have the lower-level students fall asleep because they don't understand a word you say?

Or what do you do when faced with students who simply do not want to learn?

I have one female student who has told me in no uncertain terms that she will NOT learn English. Her parents want her to go to America to study, but she doesn't want to go. Her attitude is that if she fails to learn English, her parents won't send her to America.

It's a classic example of, 'I can give you a glass of water but I can't make you drink it'.

Her parents have been summoned to school to discuss it, but she is firm in her resolve. So when she is in my class, what am I ? I'm her paliative care-giver / babysitter!

As far as the hotel 'thing' goes, there's a small one next to my school. Last semester at least 4 of my students all had rooms there. Booked and paid for by their parents as an 'on-going'. The kids would go there at lunchtime to rest and then again after school until such time as their parents came to collect them. The 4 students were just the ones that I knew about - there could have been several more!

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