Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian

Learning to love yourself

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-01-30 19:45:09

Some of us are born into families where our parents do not love themselves. We do not have to follow their path. At the age of 18 we are legally responsible for ourselves. At the age of 18 we become responsible for our path in life and the relationship that we develop with ourselves.

Change is the only constant in life. Every day we remake ourselves via our habits, self-talk and actions. To establish a loving relationship with ourselves we need to do the following every day

- be grateful

- be aware of the self-talk taking place in our head

- replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk or peaceful silence

- when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts or feeling negative emotions break the cycle with a long slow meditative breath and good posture, and then say and feel what you are grateful for in your life

- any mental commentary on your actions needs to positive, patient, forgiving and kind

What I just written is a brief summary of what works for me.

After doing an internet search, I found the following useful links that cover this topic in much more depth and detail

Comments to Thread
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From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-02 17:32:41 #1

The three links listed at the end of this thread are all useful. The first one does not contain any advertising and is useful to read all the way to the end including the final Question and Answer section. The last two links contain advertising which you can ignore. The free information contained in these links is all that you need.

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济南(ji nan ) @sunrise68 Time : 2017-02-04 10:24:10 #2


Thank you. Theses links are really very useful.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-04 18:33:41 #3


Thanks, it is great to know that these three links are accessible in China.

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 宁波(ning bo ) @zqy2014 Time : 2017-02-04 20:25:32 #4


As according to my experience and the knowledge that I have had so far, I feel that know more about self, accept, respect and protect self are ways to love self. Protect self is the most important thing that one needs try to achieve in this life. Without modesty and gratitude, one can't truly love himself/herself and others. When be modest,one easily stops negative self-talk and accept sometime there is really nothing she/he can do except surrender to the universe. When be modest, one can easily listen more than talk or offer suggestions that the other may actually not be ready for and expects.Without self-trust and self-love, she/he can't trust and love others. Love never means sacrifice and can't be taken as an excuse to control or change the other neither. Just for reference.


From: China 河北(he bei) 保定(bao ding ) @sandy339 Time : 2017-02-05 22:54:10 #5

HI Melcyan 

Thanks for sharing all these, but why do you raise the question? My problem might be I love myself too much (half kidding):D

One of Justin Bieber's songs is love yourself, my daughter's favorite, and I know why she likes it. So would you like to share the story behind your question? hehe only if you want to share, have a nice weekend!


From: China 广东(guang dong) 湛江(zhan jiang ) @Kittyzx2015 Time : 2017-02-06 20:46:38 #6

Thank you very much for sharing!

Sheryl Sandberg is my favorite idol, also want to share with her a speech


Transcript Sheryl Sandberg's 2016 Commencement Address at University of California, Berkeley

Thank you, Marie. And thank you esteemed members of the faculty, proud parents, devoted friends, squirming siblings. 

Congratulations to all of you…and especially to the magnificent Berkeley graduating class of 2016!

It is a privilege to be here at Berkeley, which has produced so many Nobel Prize winners, Turing Award winners, astronauts, members of Congress, Olympic gold medalists…. and that’s just the women!

Berkeley has always been ahead of the times. In the 1960s, you led the Free Speech Movement. Back in those days, people used to say that with all the long hair, how do we even tell the boys from the girls? We now know the answer: manbuns.

Early on, Berkeley opened its doors to the entire population. When this campus opened in 1873, the class included 167 men and 222 women. It took my alma mater anotherninety years to award a single degree to a single woman.  

One of the women who came here in search of opportunity was Rosalind Nuss. Roz grew up scrubbing floors in the Brooklyn boardinghouse where she lived. She was pulled out of high school by her parents to help support their family. One of her teachers insisted that her parents put her back into school—and in 1937, she sat where you are sitting today and received a Berkeley degree. Roz was my grandmother. She was a huge inspiration to me and I’m so grateful that Berkeley recognized her potential. I want to take a moment to offer a special congratulations to the many here today who are the first generation in their families to graduate from college. What a remarkable achievement.


The best of Sheryl Sandberg's powerful UC Berkeley commencement speech about dealing with her husband's death

Today is a day of celebration.  A day to celebrate all the hard work that got you to this moment.

Today is a day of thanks.  A day to thank those who helped you get here—nurtured you, taught you, cheered you on, and dried your tears.  Or at least the ones who didn’t draw on you with a Sharpie when you fell asleep at a party.

Today is a day of reflection. Because today marks the end of one era of your life and the beginning of something new.  

A commencement address is meant to be a dance between youth and wisdom. You have the youth.  Someone comes in to be the voice of wisdom—that’s supposed to be me. I stand up here and tell you all the things I have learned in life, you throw your cap in the air, you let your family take a million photos –don’t forget to post them on Instagram —and everyone goes home happy. 

Today will be a bit different. We will still do the caps and you still have to do the photos. But I am not here to tell you all the things I’ve learned in life. Today I will try to tell you what I learned in death.

I have never spoken publicly about this before. It’s hard. But I will do my very best not to blow my nose on this beautiful Berkeley robe.

One year and thirteen days ago, I lost my husband, Dave. His death was sudden and unexpected. We were at a friend’s fiftieth birthday party in Mexico. I took a nap. Dave went to work out. What followed was the unthinkable—walking into a gym to find him lying on the floor. Flying home to tell my children that their father was gone. Watching his casket being lowered into the ground.

For many months afterward, and at many times since, I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief—what I think of as the void—an emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even to breathe.  

Dave’s death changed me in very profound ways. I learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss. But I also learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again. I learned that in the face of the void—or in the face of any challenge—you can choose joy and meaning.

I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that today, as you take the next step in your life, you can learn the lessons that I only learned in death.  Lessons about hope, strength, and the light within us that will not be extinguished. 

Everyone who has made it through Cal has already experienced some disappointment.  You wanted an A but you got a B.  OK, let’s be honest—you got an A- but you’re still mad. You applied for an internship at Facebook, but you only got one from Google. She was the love of your life… but then she swiped left. 

Game of Thrones the show has diverged way too much from the books—and you bothered to read all four thousand three hundred and fifty-two pages. 

You will almost certainly face more and deeper adversity. There’s loss of opportunity: the job that doesn’t work out, the illness or accident that changes everything in an instant. There’s loss of dignity: the sharp sting of prejudice when it happens. There’s loss of love: the broken relationships that can’t be fixed. And sometimes there’s loss of life itself. 

Some of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible mark. Last year, Radhika, the winner of the University Medal, spoke so beautifully about the sudden loss of her mother.

The question is not if some of these things will happen to you.  They will. Today I want to talk about what happens next. About the things you can do to overcome adversity, no matter what form it takes or when it hits you. The easy days ahead of you will be easy.  It is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you are.  You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.


A few weeks after Dave died, I was talking to my friend Phil about a father-son activity that Dave was not here to do.  We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave.”  Phil put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available.  So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.” 

We all at some point live some form of option B. The question is: What do we do then?

As a representative of Silicon Valley, I’m pleased to tell you there is data to learn from. After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks, psychologist Martin Seligman found that there are three P’s—personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship. The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.

The first P is personalization—the belief that we are at fault. This is different from taking responsibility, which you should always do. This is the lesson that not everything that happens to us happens because of us.

When Dave died, I had a very common reaction, which was to blame myself. He died in seconds from a cardiac arrhythmia. I poured over his medical records asking what I could have—or should have—done. It wasn’t until I learned about the three P’s that I accepted that I could not have prevented his death. His doctors had not identified his coronary artery disease. I was an economics major; how could I have? 

Studies show that getting past personalization can actually make you stronger. Teachers who knew they could do better after students failed adjusted their methods and saw future classes go on to excel. College swimmers who underperformed but believed they were capable of swimming faster did. Not taking failures personally allows us to recover—and even to thrive. 

The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life. You know that song “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There’s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness.

The child psychologists I spoke to encouraged me to get my kids back to their routine as soon as possible. So ten days after Dave died, they went back to school and I went back to work. I remember sitting in my first Facebook meeting in a deep, deep haze. All I could think was, “What is everyone talking about and how could this possibly matter?” But then I got drawn into the discussion and for a second—a brief split second—I forgot about death.

That brief second helped me see that there were other things in my life that were not awful. My children and I were healthy. My friends and family were so loving and they carried us—quite literally at times. 

The loss of a partner often has severe negative financial consequences, especially for women. So many single mothers—and fathers—struggle to make ends meet or have jobs that don’t allow them the time they need to care for their children. I had financial security, the ability to take the time off I needed, and a job that I did not just believe in, but where it’s actually OK to spend all day on Facebook. Gradually, my children started sleeping through the night, crying less, playing more.

The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever. For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.

We often project our current feelings out indefinitely—and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings. We feel anxious—and then we feel anxious that we’re anxious.  We feel sad—and then we feel sad that we’re sad.  Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever. My rabbi told me that time would heal but for now I should “lean in to the suck.”  It was good advice, but notreally what I meant by “lean in.” 

None of you need me to explain the fourth P…which is, of course, pizza from Cheese Board.

But I wish I had known about the three P’s when I was your age. There were so many times these lessons would have helped. 

Day one of my first job out of college, my boss found out that I didn’t know how to enter data into Lotus 1-2-3.  That’s a spreadsheet—ask your parents. His mouth dropped open and he said, ‘I can’t believe you got this job without knowing that”—and then walked out of the room. I went home convinced that I was going to be fired.  I thought I was terrible at everything… but it turns out I was only terrible at spreadsheets. Understanding pervasiveness would have saved me a lot of anxiety that week.

I wish I had known about permanence when I broke up with boyfriends. It would’ve been a comfort to know that feeling was not going to last forever, and if I was being honest with myself… neither were any of those relationships. 

And I wish I had understood personalization when boyfriends broke up with me.  Sometimes it’s not you—it really is them. I mean, that dude never showered. 

And all three P’s ganged up on me in my twenties after my first marriage ended in divorce.  I thought at the time that no matter what I accomplished, I was a massive failure.

The three P’s are common emotional reactions to so many things that happen to us—in our careers, our personal lives, and our relationships. You’re probably feeling one of them right now about something in your life.  But if you can recognize you are falling into these traps, you can catch yourself. Just as our bodies have a physiological immune system, our brains have a psychological immune system—and there are steps you can take to help kick it into gear.

One day my friend Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think about how much worse things could be. This was completely counterintuitive; it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts.  “Worse?” I said. “Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.” Wow. The moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly grateful that the rest of my family was alive and healthy. That gratitude overtook some of the grief. 

Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience. People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier. It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings. My New Year’s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night.  This simple practice has changed my life.  Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful. Try it. Start tonight when you have so many fun moments to list— although maybe do it before you hit Kip’s and can still remember what they are.  

Last month, eleven days before the anniversary of Dave’s death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine.  We were sitting—of all places—on a bathroom floor. I said: “Eleven days.  One year ago, he had eleven days left.  And we had no idea.” We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had eleven days left.

As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had eleven days left? I don’t mean blow everything off and party all the time— although tonight is an exception. I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be. How precious every day actually is.

A few years ago, my mom had to have her hip replaced. When she was younger, she always walked without pain. But as her hip disintegrated, each step became painful. Now, even years after her operation, she is grateful for every step she takes without pain—something that never would have occurred to her before.

As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true.  I have a huge reservoir of sadness that is with me always—right here where I can touch it. I never knew I could cry so often—or so much.

But I am also aware that I am walking without pain. For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out—grateful for the gift of life itself. I used to celebrate my birthday every five years and friends’ birthdays sometimes. Now I celebrate always. I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day—and trust me that list was often quite long. Now I try really hard to focus on each day’s moments of joy.

It is the greatest irony of my life that losing my husband helped me find deeper gratitude—gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, the laughter of my children. My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude—not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.

There are so many moments of joy ahead of you. That trip you always wanted to take. A first kiss with someone you really like. The day you get a job doing something you truly believe in. Beating Stanford. (Go Bears!) All of these things will happen to you. Enjoy each and every one.

I hope that you live your life—each precious day of it—with joy and meaning. I hope that you walk without pain—and that you are grateful for each step.

And when the challenges come, I hope you remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow. You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it. In that process you will figure out who you really are—and you just might become the very best version of yourself. 

Class of 2016, as you leave Berkeley, build resilience.

Build resilience in yourselves. When tragedy or disappointment strike, know that you have the ability to get through absolutely anything. I promise you do. As the saying goes, we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined. 

Build resilient organizations. If anyone can do it, you can, because Berkeley is filled with people who want to make the world a better place.  Never stop working to do so—whether it’s a boardroom that is not representative or a campus that’s not safe. Speak up, especially at institutions like this one, which you hold so dear.  My favorite poster at work reads, “Nothing at Facebook is someone else’s problem.”  When you see something that’s broken, go fix it. 

Build resilient communities. We find our humanity—our will to live and our ability to love—in our connections to one another. Be there for your family and friends. And I mean in person. Not just in a message with a heart emoji. 

Lift each other up, help each other kick the shit out of option B—and celebrate each and every moment of joy. 

You have the whole world in front of you. I can’t wait to see what you do with it.

Congratulations, and Go Bears!












  一年零十三天前,我失去了我的丈夫, Dave。事情发生得非常突然和出人意料。我们当时在墨西哥参加一个朋友五十岁的生日聚会。我正在午睡,Dave去做运动。之后发生的一切都是不堪回首的,比如我发现他躺在体育馆的地板上,停止了呼吸。比如我不得不独自飞回家,告诉我的孩子们他们父亲的死讯。比如我眼睁睁看着他的棺材渐渐地没入地面。








  雪莉·桑德伯格(Sheryl Sandberg)1969年8月26日出生于华盛顿。曾任克林顿政府财政部长办公厅主任、谷歌全球在线销售和运营部门副总裁。现任Facebook首席运营官,被媒体称为“Facebook的第一夫人”,她也是第一位进入Facebook董事会的女性成员。同时,她还是福布斯上榜的前50名“最有力量” 的商业女精英之一

  你们有些人或许已经经历过了以上的一些悲剧和困难,那些事情也给你们的人生烙上了深深的印记。去年,Radhika,University Medal的获得者,和你们分享了她痛失母亲的故事。






  作为硅谷的一员,我很高兴地告诉你们我这么说是有数据可参考的。在花费几十年的时间研究人们如何面对挫折之后,心理学家Martin Seligman发现,三个P (后文总结为三个假象)——个人化(Personalization)、普遍性(Pervasiveness)和持久性(Permanence)——这是我们从苦难中再次振作起来的关键。






  说起桑德伯格,不得不提到她撰写的《LEAN IN 向前一步》,是日报君最想推荐给大家的几本书之一。尤其是对于女性职场人和创业者,这都是一本圣经。《向前一步》是2013年亚马逊网站上销量排名第二的纸质书。这本书主要关于女性在工作场合遭遇的不平等问题。相应的非营利组织安排了多场“向前一步”研讨会,让女性讲述自己在职场中遇到的障碍,并推进其他女权诉求,例如在一项活动中阻止将年轻女孩蔑称为“bossy”。


  你们知道那首叫“一切都是极好的”的歌吗? 那时的一切就是这首歌的反调:“面对那吞噬一切的悲哀,我们无处逃避。” 但实际上并不是这样的。








  实际上,我们应该接受自己的感情。但同时,也应该清楚地明白,它们并不会永远地持续下去。我的犹太教拉比告诉我,时间会治愈一切,但现在我需要向前一步去直面悲剧。这是个好建议,但并不是指的我写的那本书“lean in。”

  至于第四个P……就不需要我来解释了,你们都懂的,这自然是奶酪板上的Pizza嘛。(有什么事儿一个 Pizza 不能解决的,那就来两个~)


  当我还在做大学毕业后的第一份工作时,我的老板发现我不懂操作Lotus 1-2-3表格。这是一个电子表格——去问你们的父母。他张大着嘴惊讶地说:“我简直不敢相信,你们连这个都不会,却能得到这份工作。”然后他走出了房间。我回家的时候深信我会被解雇。







  有一天,我的心理学家朋友Adam Grant建议我想象事情本可以更糟糕。这完全是反直觉的。“更糟糕?”我说。“你是在逗我吗?事情怎么可能会变得比现在还要糟糕呢?”












  击败斯坦福!( Go Bears! )









  请大声地说出来,尤其是在这样的一个大学,你们无比珍视的大学。我很喜欢的一张贴在办公室的海报这样写道 “在Facebook,没有任何一件事情仅仅是其他人的事情。” 当你们看到一件事情不对,请尝试修正它。





  祝贺你们!Go Bears!


  将 “moment of joy” 译为了小确幸。



From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-07 07:16:21 #7

@sandy339 I enjoy talking with you because your words have a habit of taking me to interesting places. I can't stand Justin Bieber but I listened to his song because of you. I realised that I had heard it several times before. There is one part of the song that I really like. It is where he says "my mum likes everyone but she didn't like you". The West is very different to China., We have a tendency to ignore our parents more and even deliberately go against their wishes when it comes to choosing a partner. (Maybe Shakespeare started it with "Romeo and Juliet")


If you read John's latest blog, My Take on New to Chinese Dating, and the resulting comments, you will understand why I wrote this forum thread.



From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-07 07:52:12 #8

@zqy2014 I take your word "modesty" to mean "free from ego". I agree with your words.


Self-love is a feeling. Like all feelings, it ebbs and flows. It gets tested when we make mistakes, when life throws us a challenge and when we mix with other people who do not love themselves.


While self-love ebbs and flows, its essence is still like deep water. At is essence there is a feeling of peace, tranquility and acceptance. This essence of self-love can be found anytime by diving beneath the surface of our thoughts. A single deep meditative breath can get us there. When I meditate, I feel that self-love and a love for all life are one and the same.



From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-07 07:57:40 #9

"Not loving yourself can prevent you from forming healthy relationships." 


"Unloving behaviour towards your loved ones mostly stems from the problems you have with yourself. Tiredness, anger, perfectionism, shame and anxiety get in the way of love."


From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 宁波(ning bo ) @zqy2014 Time : 2017-02-07 14:13:15 #10


Yes all relationship with others reflects the one with ourselves. During the interaction with others, we see some truth and something about ourselves and then we go back ourselves to adjust or fix. Due to this or that kinds of reasons, since one child is born, he/she will be more or less molded by parents, others and the societ and lost connection with herself/himself. It can be called as some kind of disaster for that child as he/she one day may suddenly realize he/she has never lived for himself/herself and all he/she is owning are not what he/she want at all. Then he/she has to take lots of efforts and long enough time to get himself/herself back.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-07 20:51:41 #11


Thanks for giving me the chance to read Sheryl Sandberg's speech. She was listed in Time's top 100 most influential people in the world for 2012. It is easy to see why you value her words.


I identify with how she handles grief and the way she used gratitude in the grief healing process. She focuses on self-esteem, gratitude, resilience and creating opportunities for success. This thread is focusing on self-love. I will explain the difference between self-love and self-esteem later when I have more time.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-09 20:05:52 #12



“all relationship with others reflect the one with ourselves.”


These words are very true but at times they can be difficult for us to accept. The key difference between self-esteem and self-love is EGO. Self-esteem without any trace of EGO is self-love. Self-esteem is often related to what we are good at whereas self-love relates to everything we experience regardless of our abilities or skills.


When I was 23 years old my self-esteem related to my knowledge of Chemistry and not much else.


At 57 years of age my self-esteem related to my knowledge of Chemistry + teaching skill +basketball coaching skill +dancing skill+parenting skill + self-love. Of these 6 areas, self-love was by far the most important. At 57 my relationship with my Chinese partner started.


I am now nearly 65 and several of those areas have faded, but my self-love has increased. Self-love enhances our ability with all things that we attempt. I am a better parent and partner now than at any other stage of my life. Why? Greater self-love.


zqy2014, my parents failed me many times but I believe that they did their best they could with the knowledge and upbringing that they had experienced. By forgiving them, accepting them and loving them, I opened the way for me to be a better parent and life partner. It is true that we are moulded by our parents in a way that may not be the best for us but once we are adults we take over the responsibility for moulding our own maturation and self-love. If we choose to fully accept that responsibility, the rewards are enormous.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-09 20:21:45 #13

Here is another article on self-love worth reading.


Self-Love Must Come First: How to Love Yourself


 by Joyce Marter Psychotherapist



Imagine how you treat yourself on a daily basis as if you were another person, in a relationship with you.

Are you good to yourself? Is your mind kind to your body and soul?

In my practice and my own psycho-spiritual journey, I see that at times we all:

*Beat ourselves up with cruel self-talk
*Set ourselves up for failure with unrealistic expectations
*Deprive ourselves of things we deserve through self-sabotaging behaviors
*Abuse our bodies through neglect or harmful choices

These behaviors wreak havoc on our mental and physical health, our relationships, and our careers. We must choose a different path.

After 20 years of counseling individuals and couples, as well as doing my own inner work, I’ve come to believe that perhaps our greatest life lesson is learning how to fully accept and love ourselves.

For only when we are truly aligned with our own beautiful and unique spirit, can we completely and authentically give and receive real love. This is because when we love ourselves we know that we can give without becoming resentful, exhausted and depleted, and we can receive because we know we deserve it. Self-love is the prerequisite for complete immersion in the abundant flow of light and love in the world around us.

But how does one love oneself?

In The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, he identifies the five ways in which we can give and receive love. Below, these languages are applied to self-love with practical suggestions:

1. Words of Affirmation: Think Self-Love

*Practice daily affirmations. Our thoughts precede our emotions and behaviors.
*Recite mantras that encourage self-compassion. Bring your attention to being good to yourself.
*Journal your strengths and everything about you for which you are grateful. Document everything you accomplish, feel good about, do right, like about yourself, etc.
*Keep your self-talk positive. Turn down the volume of your inner critic and choose to be your best coach or cheerleader.

2. Acts of Service: Do Self-Love

*Prepare healthy meals for yourself. Put thought and effort into grocery shopping and meal preparation.
*Create an organized, clean and aesthetically pleasing home environment for yourself. Love where you live, even if on a budget.
*Schedule regular physical, dental and mental health check-ups. Address any health concerns in a timely manner if they arise. Without your health, you have nothing.
*Groom yourself with love and care. Put yourself together so that you feel like the beautiful person that you are.

3. Receiving Gifts: Absorb Self-Love

*Buy only what you love. Don’t allow things in your home and closet that don’t bring you positive vibrations. (While you’re at it, purge that which does not bring you joy.)
*Gift yourself with an experience on your bucket list. Always wanted to sky dive or go whitewater rafting? Budget it out and plan it. Enlist the help and support of friends as needed.
*Invest in your education and advancement. Want to pursue a higher degree? Take a cooking class? Learn how to be a yoga instructor? Do the research, apply for grants and scholarships, volunteer to learn new skills. Gift yourself with knowledge.
*Treat yourself to the wisdom and perspective gained from travel. Limited funds? Consider volunteer or service work or pooling together resources with friends and traveling on the cheap.

4. Quality Time: Be Present with Self-Love

*Set aside time for daily mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation. These devotions will help you connect with your highest self.
*Make time for leisure and hobbies. Time for play and enjoyment is an important aspect of celebrating the gift of life.
*Prioritize sleep and exercise. You must reboot and revitalize your physical being.
*Do not over-schedule, over-book or over-commit. Your life is worth more than being a gerbil on a wheel...

5. Physical Touch: Feel Self-Love

*Stretch your muscles and give yourself a massage with a foam roller. Relax into your body.
*Release toxins by taking a hot bath with epsom salts. Release the stress and soak in the love.
*Moisturize your skin with lotions or oils. As you touch your skin, thank each body part for all it does for you.
*Give yourself a spa treatment: manicure, pedicure, facial, deep conditioning treatment, etc. Know you are worth extraordinary care.

Self-love is a journey. It takes dedication, devotion, and practice. Resolve to love yourself each and every day and watch your best self blossom and your greatest life unfold! Self-love is an exponential force.



“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” — Buddha



From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-02-14 05:12:26 #14







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