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Thread

Is it Love or an Arrangement.

From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 沈阳(shen yang ) @AchrisT Time : 2016-07-26 21:19:59

I have been on this site for a while now. Lately I have talked to many women that are or want to negotiate a monthly salary to marry. The salary range is between 9000 and 15000 RMB per month. Now I am not sure, how this is different from an arrangement then falling in love. I might be a hopeless romantic, but how can you trust someone that you are paying. I am not saying trust as an employer/employee. Trust with the heart is really something more. How can you put that love in her hands knowing, or not knowing, that if for some reason you miss the monthly payment, she will be gone?



I have a clear understanding of traditional marriage and can if I choose to handle one of those. I understand that I would be the bread winner. They would have their day to do as they please, visit whomever they wanted. Traditional marriages I think all societies have had them.  When asking these women, if the monthly paycheck was a monthly house budget, the answer, in all case was NO. That will be still expected from me.



Now I was married once before to a Chinese woman that was nationalized, (before we met). She had more a western attitude, if you are all going to tell me this is the norm. But we had what I have always considered to be a modern marriage. She had her job and I had mine. We split the cost of living equally between us. So when I inquired about the salary and what it was for they all said to take care of your house. I said great I have a cleaning lady. Nothing to worry about, right?   



So with the understanding of what they said, without using the word “sex”, I came to understand really what I was paying for. Now in the way I was brought up to believe, if someone pays another to make a bed comfortable, is that not … prostitution? or what is now known as escorting? Have we in all the different societies come to call what is the oldest occupation, a marriage? If I keep her comfortable in our bed, do I get a refund? Just something to chat about.


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Anonymous25074
@Anonymous25074 Time : 2016-07-29 01:30:33 #1

wow, interesting expereicnes you have had. I have never run across this in all the conversations I have had with Chinese women on this site or in China. They I would think are being very transparent with their asking for money....avoid these types of women at all costs.....

From: Netherlands @Macchap Time : 2016-07-29 04:23:26 #2

First, I don't have the details of your relationship with these women but when I read "Lately I have talked to many women that are or want to negotiate a monthly salary to marry." I am wondering what you got yourself into. Negotiating a salary to marry... Is this a business deal or what? When the wife is helping her husband with his daily business by doing the paper work, handling orders and so forth and wants a financial compensation for this I understand but a wife wanting a salary from her husband for I don’t what and still expecting him to pay for everything else…
I understand that when she has no job, no income and once in a while wants to buy something for herself she needs money. Instead of the word salary the word allowance would have been more appropriate in this context. But still, it doesn’t sit well with me that she wants to negotiate a monthly income to marry. I’d be interested to know why she wants a salary from you; can she in detail explain that to you? And while you’re at it, can she also explain in detail why she wants to marry you; the core reason. Push her a little and see how she responds.;)
Why doesn’t she get a job instead of asking you for money? Then she is financially independent. Good for her, good for you and good for the relationship.
Let me know what you think.

From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 沈阳(shen yang ) @AchrisT Time : 2016-07-29 15:58:30 #3

@anonymous2507 Yes agree, I usually do drop the conversation at that point, other than I do inquire to ensure that there is no miscommunication, or translation error. Thank you for your response.

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-07-29 19:27:17 #4

Dude.....are you real?

You are asking if this is love or an arrangement when the woman is asking you for a monthly salary in order to do the job of being your wife.....

 

You are an ostrich Sir. Go back to your sandpit and re-bury your head !

From: Australia Victoria Thomastown @roughdiamond Time : 2016-07-29 21:17:26 #5


@AchrisT

dude you know its wrong, why are we still even talking about it why are you even asking this ? ?

From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 沈阳(shen yang ) @AchrisT Time : 2016-07-30 21:16:54 #6


@roughdiamond and​ @paulfox1

I know it is wrong and ignored it the first time and chuckled at it the second time. When the third time came about I was wondering if I was the only one finding the escorts on the site. Maybe we should go back to the little rating bubbles at the bottum of the page, Of course you might not of been on here back then. It was just a question I thought would spark some interest. I was hoping to hear from the ladies to see if this what they are expecting and not saying. But all together thanks for the responses.


From: United Kingdom @good88person Time : 2016-07-31 03:52:25 #7

Part 1 ..... Marrying for love or money ?

My opinion is 100 percent different to everybody else !
I am a 61 year old well educated Chinese man. I have lived in England for about 40 years.
So ........ My opinion and I .... are different to the "typical" man on this web site !

I will probably get 100  MIDDLE  AGED women cursing at my opinion !

BUT ..... some  YOUNG  PRETTY women MIGHT say ........
"Why not ?  Marrying a  RICH  OLD man , is better ......... than ........
marrying an  UNSKILLED  Chinese factory worker , and living in poverty , for the rest of my life !"

-------------------------------------

I am Chinese , but I am very very very Westernized.  
Many Chinese people will call me a 香蕉人 "Banana person 香蕉人"
........ yellow skin on the outside ... and white inside !  Ha !  Ha ! LOL ( Laugh Out Loud ).

Being Westernized , I can say ........

Marrying for love is a lot of bull sh*t ........ because ......... the  DIVORCE  RATE  in AMERICA  is about 50 percent !   
50 percent means ... if in 1 day or 1 hour  ..... there will be 100 marriages ... and 50 divorces !   

But ..... Americans and English people will tell ASIAN people ... that ...
ARRANGED  MARRIAGES  ARE  WRONG ,
and ASIAN PEOPLE should marry for LOVE ...
even though the  DIVORCE  RATE  in AMERICA is 50 percent .....
and .....
HUNDREDS  OF  THOUSAND  of  AMERICAN and  ENGLISH  UNMARRIED  WOMEN  give birth to "LOVE  CHILD"
.....
because  ... the WOMEN  ARE  IN  LOVE ! ! !  Ha !  Ha !  LOL !

I will write more in ... part 2

---------------------------------------------------
第1部分.....嫁为爱情还是金钱?

我的观点是别人100%的不同!
我是一个61岁受过良好教育的中国男人。我一直住在英国大约40年。
所以........我和我的意见....都在这个网站上的“典型”的人不同!

我可能会得到100中年妇女在我看来骂!

但.....一些年轻漂亮的女人也许会说........
“为什么不呢?嫁给一个有钱的老男人,不如.........比........
嫁给??一个不熟练的中国工厂的工人,和生活在贫困中,我的余生!“

-------------------------------------

我是中国人,但我非常非常非常西化。
很多中国人会骂我是香蕉人“香蕉人香蕉人”
........黄皮肤在外面......内白!哈!哈! LOL(大声笑)。

被西化,我可以说........

结婚的爱情的很多公牛的sh *吨........ .........因为在美国的离婚率是50%左右!
50%是指......如果以1天或1小时.....会有100 ......婚姻和离婚50!

但是.....美国人和英国人会告诉人们亚洲...那...
包办婚姻是错误的,
人民和亚洲人民应该嫁爱...
即使在美国的离婚率是50%.....
而.....
美国和英国未婚女性生出千为“爱子”数
.....
因为...女人在恋爱! ! !哈!哈!大声笑 !

我会写更多...第2部分

From: United Kingdom @good88person Time : 2016-07-31 08:20:06 #8

@paulfox1   
@roughdiamond
I think that both of you ... are being a bit harsh with @AchrisT

I think that ..... @AchrisT is bring  "PRACTICAL"  and facing  REALITY !

All 4 of us ... are about 60 years old ..... but ....
all 4 of us  PROBABLY  want to marry a  YOUNG  PRETTY  WIFE !

@AchrisT and I are bravely facing  REALITY ... and ... acknowledging that ........
we are  OLD  AND  WRINKLED
......... and ........ the  ONLY  WAY  we can persuade   ........
YOUNG  PRETTY  WOMEN  to marry  WRINKLED  OLD  MEN
 ........ is ........ we give  MONEY  to the  YOUNG  PRETTY  WOMEN.

You can argue ........ whether it is right or wrong .......
but ........ I can bet you 1,000 RMB that ........
@AchrisT  future wife will be  YOUNGER  and  PRETTIER
than your future wife !

--------------------------------------------------------------------

100  MIDDLE  AGED  women will "flame" me ( write rude comments ) to scold me !  Ha !  Ha !  LOL ( Laugh Out Loud ) !
I do  NOT  CARE  what  MIDDLE  AGED  women say because .....
有钱就是任性 = Have money ... so ... I can be wilful ... and ... do what I like ( like marry a  YOUNG  PRETTY  WIFE  ) !
你行你上 = If you have the CAPABILITY ( and MONEY ) to marry a  YOUNG  PRETTY  WIFE  or  YOUNG  HANDSOME  HUSBAND ... you should do it !
 If you do NOT have the CAPABILITY ( and  MONEY ) , stop being  JEALOUS .. and ... stop whining ( complaining )

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@ paulfo​​x1
@roughdiamond
我觉得你们俩......正在有点苛刻与@AchrisT

我觉得..... @AchrisT是把“实用”和面对现实!

我们所有的4 ... 60岁左右.....但....
我们所有的4可能要嫁给一个年轻漂亮的妻子!

@AchrisT和我勇敢地面对现实......还有......承认........
我们是老皱
......... ........和唯一的方式,我们可以说服........
年轻漂亮的女人结婚皱巴巴的老男人
 ........ ........就是我们把钱交给年轻的漂亮女人。

你可以说........无论是对还是错.......
但........我可以打赌,你1000元的........
@AchrisT未来的妻子将是年轻,漂亮
比你未来的妻子!

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------

100中年妇女将“火焰”我(写粗鲁的评论)骂我!哈!哈! LOL(大声笑)!
我不在乎什么中年女性说,因为.....
有钱就是任性=钱... ...所以...我可以任性......还有......做我喜欢的东西(比如娶一个年轻漂亮的妻子)!
你行你上=如果你有这样的能力和金钱嫁给一个年轻漂亮的妻子和年轻英俊的丈夫......你应该这样做!
 如果你没有能力(和金钱),停止嫉妒..和...停止抱怨(抱怨)

From: Netherlands @Macchap Time : 2016-08-01 00:22:28 #9

@ all

@good88person

The question is what will she do when she comes across another person that has more spending power - or worse - is better looking than the person she is with?

What will your response be @good88person when this happens to you?
 

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-01 21:44:16 #10

@good88person

You may be a banana but I would hate to test your level of intelligence by joking with you, so I won't....

The OP asked if it's love or arrangement - which to me is a rhetorical question (a dictionary may be useful right now)...

He pays her 12K per month for doing the 'job' of being his wife, but what happens when someone comes along who is willing to pay her 20K?

 

She is a whore! - She's selling, he's buying. Dress it up however you like, but she's a whore.

As for having a pretty girl on my 60-year-old arm (I've got quite a few years to go before I reach 60, by the way...), I could spend 12K a month and have a new one every day - one that won't get bored with me, nor me with her....

 

So you can condone the idiotic ramblings of the OP as much as you like - but in his shoes, I would rather rent than buy.......

From: United Kingdom @good88person Time : 2016-08-03 03:02:00 #11

@paulfox1    Dear Paul ........
Please  THINK  and  THINK  and  THINK ...  BEFORE  you speak or write !
---------------------------------------------
MANY women will read your comment ... and ... think ........
- - - - - - - -
If Paul is rich ........
he will sleep with a  DIFFERENT  WOMEN  EVERY  WEEK !
- - - - - - - -
If Paul is poor ........
it will be a  STRUGGLE  to pay the rent ,
and ... we will  NEVER  OWN  our own apartment ,
and ... we will  NEVER  have nice food to eat.
- - - - - - - -
Women will think that ........
ANY  women who  MARRY  Paul ..... will have a  DIFFICULT  LIFE
... so ... she will  NEVER  date you !
- - - - - - - -
Do you  THINK  ABOUT  THE  TERRIBLE  CONSEQUENCES  OF  YOUR  WORDS
... BEFORE  you talk or write ?

From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2016-08-03 17:59:06 #12


@good88person

Please stop using capital letters, it's ignorant and obnoxious!

I stand by what I said above (finger)

From: Netherlands @Macchap Time : 2016-08-04 04:21:26 #13

Not 12K. AchrisT wrote: "The salary range is between 9000 and 15000 RMB per month." By today's exchange rate that would be between USD 1,356.55 and US 2,262.43 per month . Nevertheless, USD 2K+ per mont is serious money and if she has asked that from me - 2K per month and I'll be your wife - my final answer would have been: no thank you. Period. 

To answer your question AchrisT "Is it love or an arragement", it is a waste of time. It is going to ruin your life.

From: China 广东(guang dong) 深圳(shen zhen ) @Juanler Time : 2016-09-11 00:04:00 #14


@good88person
@AchrisT

Whether you admit or not between eastern and western cultural differences are real, if choose each other, each other is to use treat wholeheartedly, rather than use money to measure. For most of Chinese girls, they think that marriage is a lifetime of happiness.

 

Here everyone talked about love, love is an uncertain feeling, sometimes love can let a person good, sometimes love can let a person sad, I believe many people the pursuit of true love, but love to time tend to be defeated by reality. Usually a man feels in his environment is the most bad time if you don't leave is the true love a girl, but often in his environment good time man is to be found love, so the girl will be insecure, hope love metamorphism by financial control.

 

Women's youth is like a rainbow in the sky so easy to lose, I noticed that whatever 18 years old or 100 - year - old men are all the same like younger girl, this is I in this website to browse many men dating the conclusion to girl's age requirement, a man can accept 30 years younger than his age gap even more girls, but no one man can accept 30 years older than his girl, so the girl has obvious disadvantage relative to men, these enough to let the girl to a man lack of sense of security. If it is true love, why do men look for the money

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