Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian

I wanna die with you

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-17 17:05:57

My mobile phone rang. I see “no caller ID” as I pick the phone up. The caller asked to speak to my partner. I said my partner was at her place, could I take a message. No, it was personal. I don’t give out my partner’s phone number without knowing the connection or the purpose of the call. I asked if she was ringing from the Breast Cancer Clinic. "Yes" was the answer. No, that was not the answer that I wanted to hear.

Later my partner told me that they needed to do more tests and she was booked in for the following Monday morning. My partner stays at my place from midday Saturday until midday Monday so with luck she would not have to tell her mother or sister. With luck, the follow up would be over in two hours and she would get the all clear.

We arrived at the clinic early. After a thirty minute wait, we saw a doctor who explained what needed to be done. Two hours turned into three then four hours. My partner’s agitation increased dramatically.

She said “If I have cancer I will kill myself. I will take a bottle of sleeping tablets.” I said “Don’t use the Chinese sleeping tablets, they stink! Let me get the tablets and I will get enough for me as well because I wanna die with you.”

I knew my partner was serious. She had said previously that if she ever developed medical problems she would end our relationship so that I could find someone else. At the time I told her that would be impossible because I would sleep on her doorstep with my dog until she let us in. On that occasion, she laughed and said that would work because she would do anything for my dog.

Today was different. There was nothing I could say that could make her laugh. All I could do was hold her hand.

I tried to keep her spirits up but at the back of my mind was the thought that I was partially at fault. I should have asked more questions about her annual checkups and reminded her to have a checkup at least once every two years for breast cancer.

As far as I could see no men worked in any capacity at the Breast Cancer Screening Clinic. I felt like an outsider. I was allowed to be part of initial discussions but I had to leave whenever testing or an examination took place. When my partner had to go to the radiography room a second time for a biopsy she asked if I could go with her. The nurse asked me if I was her interpreter. I realized there was only one answer I could give. “Yes!” was my immediate reply. I was then allowed to go with her to the radiography room.

The biopsy procedure was explained. I then told my partner in a way that she understood. Before the procedure started I was escorted to a small waiting room that was directly opposite the radiography room. I was able to watch people move in and out of the room but the curtain was drawn.

About ten minutes after the radiography room door was locked I saw a nurse knock on the locked door. I knew that this was probably very close to the moment that my partner must remain still as the biopsy is performed. The door remained shut. Another nurse tells her what is going on but she still knocks again. I start to move towards the nurse but then I realize that I can only make things worse. If my partner hears my voice she will definitely move. The nurse decides not to knock a third time and leaves.

In 2011 breast cancer tests were done on my partner in a hospital. Our relationship was only ten months old at the time. I remember that I was scared but my partner wasn’t. At least that is what I thought back then. I can read her a lot better now.

Five hours passed before we were able to leave the clinic and another four anxious days later the biopsy results were given to my partner by her local doctor. Fibroadenoma in the left breast. Same result as in 2011 for the right breast. No cancer. Relief. Time to breathe again. However, the world is not the same anymore. I now see myself as having at least 50% responsibility for my partner’s medical care from now on. Whenever she sees anyone other than her local doctor I will be there at her side. (That reminds me that I have not done everything that I need to do to look after myself. I will make the necessary appointments this week.)

Seven years ago when I needed medical treatment in a Chinese hospital, my partner protected me every step of the way. Even though my partner has lived in Australia for 19 years it is only while she has been with me that her English has significantly improved. She will always need me to be her “interpreter” of Western medicine and protect her every step of the way.

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From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2018-06-20 13:20:09 #1

Melcyan, this was a stressful experience for both of you, and, as it turns out thanks you your having descirbed it here, for all of us as well. But, thankfully, one with a happy ending.

We are left though with one concern, being your wife's commitment to end her life if ultimately diagnosed with cancer. I totally agree with her thinking that she would not (and should not) undergo surgery or chemo to "cure" cancer, but there are a number of ways to overcome and remove the threat of cancer through proper diet. 

If she cares to, she can start such a diet now and prevent the threat of cancer ever attacking her. Of course this applies to yourself as well, and to anyone else reading this.  

If you subscribe to Netflix, then a great place to start is by watching a terrific documentary called FoodMatters. Not only is it incredibly informative on the subject, but it's also very entertaining as well.  I have a number of other resources I could provide if I was at home right now, but they are not on my smaller travel computer. If you'll remind me in a few days I will look them up for you then.

Meanwhile though, you can find plenty of valuable information by a Google search on such search terms as "beat cancer through diet" or "eating healthy to prevent cancer", etc.

This is just another area where Big Pharma has been deceiving us all for years, and contributed to millions of people going to an early grave, all in the name of raking in money. But don't trust me, have a look at FoodMatters

Cheers, John

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-20 17:40:07 #2

Cancer accounts for about 10 per cent of all human deaths. Wild animals die of cancer at about the same rate, and it even threatens some species such as the Tasmanian Devil with extinction.

No diet can make us cancer-proof. Cancer is a DNA fact of life. If we eat a balanced diet our bodies have all the nutrients they need to grow new cells. Cellular reproduction is the starting point for cancer. Our DNA is inherited from our parents. As well as inheriting ticking time bombs from our parents our DNA can also be damaged by chemical poisons or radiation.

The older you get the more compromised your cellular reproduction becomes and the greater your risk of cancer. Poor diet and exposure to carcinogens and radiation in your environment make the risk even higher.

It is impossible to reduce your risk of cancer to zero. However, you can minimise your risks of cancer by eating a balanced diet, treating sugar as poison, avoiding overeating, drinking sufficient water, exercising, avoiding too much sun, getting regular adequate deep sleep and meditating.

I will have a problem with basal cell carcinomas until the day I die. My skin experienced far too much sun damage when I was a child. Diet will not fix the problem. I need to minimise my exposure to the sun and have regular check-ups. If the basal cell carcinomas are detected early enough they are removed with a minimum of damage and discomfort to me.

All women need to have regular screening mammograms (every two years after the age of fifty -earlier and more frequently if you have a family history of breast cancer) regardless of what diet you are following.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-20 18:07:25 #3



Hi John

Thank you for your concern. My partner puts me to shame with her excellent diet. She is always pressuring me to eat better and drink less alcohol. She will be pleased to know that you are pushing me in the same direction.

I will try to make the change now. Thanks again.

Cheers, melcyan

@Anonymous26299 Time : 2018-06-27 00:22:04 #4

Melcyan, you will only change your diet if you "truly" want to, no other's advice, encouragement, threats, codgering etc etc will make a difference until YOU decide to change. It is like smoking, most smokers never quit even when faced with health issues resulting from smoking.

Eating healthy is easy to do just hard to start. I know I am in the same boat dude!

Salad or double contest lol



From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-27 16:05:23 #5


Your words are 100% correct. I don't know why but I kept reading them again and again. Maybe it is because we are in the same boat. I wish both of us good luck! I am going to the supermarket now to buy my salad ingredients

From: Australia Victoria Thomastown @roughdiamond Time : 2018-07-07 19:59:41 #6

sugar and yeast are not poisons


doughtnuts, steam buns, chinese style pork spare ribs and not to forget beer, wine, wiskey and vodka

all the food groups

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-07-08 14:41:04 #7



I read your words with a great glass of red in one hand and a delicious slice of pizza in the other. Your words struck a chord. A little voice in my head says “ listen to wise roughdiamond, he speaks the truth”.

From: China @autumn2066 Time : 2018-08-06 00:46:19 #8

Chinese have a saying: 我想再活五百年!:P

You lucky, have found your true love.(clap)

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-08-06 15:31:23 #9

Thank you autumn2066. Yes, I am very lucky.

Do the words 我想再活五百年 mean "I want to live another 500 years" or do they have a different meaning?

From: China @autumn2066 Time : 2018-08-08 13:06:50 #10


Yes, it means a person is so happy with his life so he wishes the happy life lasts for ever.

From: United States Washington Seattle @SNTEUS Time : 2018-11-26 07:46:41 #11


If I was in love with a woman and she asked me to do something to make her happy I would welcome her request! One of the differences I have found in Eastern women is that they don't let themselves get too heavy. I know some of that must be genetics ,but being careful of their diet must be a factor also. BTW how do you think Eastern women fare when they move to a Western country? Do they get heavier and change their diet? I find myself deeply attracted to these slim Eastern women who also are fashionably alluring.  :P      

Best of luck with your health. Sorry to hear you experienced sun damage at a young age.   



From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-11-27 22:55:47 #12



"When my partner and I are together 24/7 what I eat and drink is 100% ok. I only have problems with what I eat and drink when we are apart.


"BTW how do you think Eastern women fare when they move to a Western country?


A Chinese diet is a healthy one. I can only think of one Chinese person that I know who eats more Western food than Chinese food. Everyone else eats between 90% to 100% Chinese food. I said earlier in this thread that my partner has been in Australia for 19 years. I made a slight error with my arithmetic. She arrived in 1989, so it is 29 years. (our relationship started in 2010) She is very grateful that I love Chinese food and that I can handle a 100% Chinese diet.


Youtube is great for developing Chinese cooking skills. Our last trip to China was over 5 years ago. Since then my partner's cooking has improved a lot. It has changed from good to great and the internet is the key reason why. One youtube cooking couple is a particular favourite of my partner's because they have a dog that they treat like a princess.


The only overweight Chinese women I know are  85 and 91 years old. Chinese women are a bit like French women with food. They really enjoy and savour their food. They can even be obsessed with food but they rarely overindulge.       

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