From:
China
浙江(zhe jiang)
杭州(hang zhou )
@JohnAbbot
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Time
:
2012-08-03 14:09:07
#4
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Hi HistGuy - First, I can't think of anybody who has ever been banned from the site for voicing their opinion. People have been banned for Scamming and in a couple of cases for womanizing, but never due to censorship. Since you've been a good member of CLM for a long time, and very clearly are no scammer nor womanizer, you can rest assured that you're very safe from being banned.
Second, I'm struggling a bit on how to respond, because much of my honest response requires going back to many comments you have made on the blogs under cover of anonymity, but I'm clearly not at liberty to disclose those comments as having been yours. So I'm stuck with generalizing a bit and will do that now. I hope in doing so I do not cross any lines as far as my duty to you not to reveal anything specifically said by you while anonymous.
Let's start with the comment made above by another anonymous member that I suggest is right on the mark in suggesting that your comments really are directed at the blogs and not the "site". In fact CLM has, if anything (in my opinion at least) grown more user friendly, more secure and more attentive to member's needs on an ongoing basis and continues to do so. I would also suggest that CLM is becoming recognized by a large number of people and by numerous reviewers as the best International Chinese Dating site there is. And frankly I think we've weeded out a lot of the types who were here for something other than a real long term relationship.
And I might add that, regarding the website, you have displayed, to my knowledge, no evidence of anything but being a complete gentleman and of the utmost good behaviour. We consider you to be an excellent member, and your patronage has been much appreciated, So I'm going to restrict myself to the blogs only.
Here is what you said and my rebuttal or comment in each instance:
1. "I wish CLM could return to the friendly days, where there was a nice mix of blog posters, male and female...and not just two or three aging white pontiffs handing down their godly knowledge to the rest of us swine."
In fact, in the so called "friendly" days when the blogs started, there were only 3 female bloggers and one of them actually was consistently taking serious shots at the male members and wasn't particularly friendly at all. There were 11 men bloggers. Of the first 200 articles I count 34 being by women and 166 by men.
On the other hand now there are basically 5 women and 6 men who are somewhat consistently blogging and of the last 200 blog articles 67 were written by Chinese women which is almost double that of the "good old days". So I'm not sure where the statement you've made is coming from. The blogs have become more and more equally balanced between men and women and will no doubt continue to do so.
2. You said: "It appears the blog posts are dominated by a group of creepy expats who have nothing better to do than gripe about Chinese culture, revel in their illicit sexcapades, or babble incoherently like someone going through syphilitic madness."
I want to ask you if you think that comment demonstrated any hint of "friendliness, helpfulness or constructiveness"? How did that comment "foster constructive communication back and forth"? In fact, it does quite the opposite and can only be characterized as a scathing personal attack on certain bloggers. It does nothing at all productive or constructive, and demands and deserves an angry response. Before you respond I'd honestly appreciate your going back and perusing some of the comments you've made in the blogs in the past anonymously, because I suggest to you that you have made a number of similar attacks on bloggers that were extremely personal and insulting.
The fact is that you have also made some remarkably well thought out and well stated comments in the past that were friendly, helpful and constructive. But the ones like the one above, if anything, have helped bring the blogs to where they are today, so if you find them to be unfriendly, unhelpful and destructive, maybe you have only yourself to blame.
I personally have, on a number of occasions, had to hold my tongue and not respond angrily at some of your personal attacks on specific bloggers, and on one occasion I found your comment so unfounded and uncalled for that I could not hold back my response. Worst of all, when you've been positive and generous with your remarks and comments I've found you to be so incredibly bang on that I envied your ability to see things so clearly, but then shortly after you said something personally damning and so completely without foundation or even understanding of what was being said by the blogger you had attacked, that I could scarcely believe you were the same person.
3. You said: "As a side note, why are some of these guys even on CLM if their true intention is to not find a love match? Why are they here???"
Where did this come from??? Someone who has written 50, 60 or maybe even 90 blog articles writes one that is less than 100% filled with praise of China and Chinese culture and/or Chinese women and you think that gives you license to conclude they are not on CLM because they're seeking a love match? This statement and question is exactly like the old "Have you stopped beating your wife yet" question. You pronounce an unfounded and completely flawed conclusion of fact, and then base your damning question on it.
Of course, as you feared being banned for voicing your opinion, I fear losing a good member of CLM for voicing mine. But let me suggest an alternate conclusion to this debate - instead of standing on the sidelines and tossing out the odd comment, often cloaked in anonymity, why don't you step up to the plate and start blogging yourself. If you think the bloggers have become unfriendly and unhelpful then come forward and show them a better way.
And yes, if you think that is a challenge, you're quite right.