Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian

Dating Agency Horror Stories the sin of being American

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-24 04:27:00

Enclosed, the reader will find a letter aimed at Asian Date customer service and just a small smidgeon of what they put me through. Although it has a few profane exclamations it is an accurate depiction of what an American encounters when trusting those from a different culture with ruthless intentions. It is but a small sampling of a 3 year correspondence and a trip into total deception.


This is Mike. Thank you for your reply, but once again I feel as though I was once again wasting my time trying to make any kind of sense of the responses I get from the supposed female members here who tell me they want to get married, if tthey give me millions will I marry them, if when they are 20 they list their occupation as being a doctor or lawyer, and if not that they claim to be business owners or private owners so I wonder if Asian Date even goes to the trouble of verifying employment by these women. The one lady I visited in Shanghai, Caiyu, claimed on ger profile to be a business owner, but she admitted she was not and worked for her boss in a spa business called Mayflower. She claimed to have intermediate English capability when in person she couldn't speak a word of it.

My theory that there are three different entities involved in every encounter with a woman's profile has been verified over and over again. There are the love letter writers, the chat room personalities, and then there is the elusive person themselves. They definitely do not compare notes with each other either. When I met Caiyu in person at the Shanghai after 23 hours travel and waiting to get my luggage, one look at her face told me something was wrong. Why? Did I look different in person than my profile photo? No, I took care to make sure my photos were not only unenhanced but not that flattering. Unlike, Asian Date profiles that have been edited by "Photoshoppe" software.

It took me a while to figure out after making a 3 week reservation to visit a woman who told me she considered me to be her husband and that we had been intimate several times online with and had communicated for months with her telling me I brought color into her dismal day to day life what had happened. She was ordered to meet me. She had no knowledge of what the letter writer had written me or what the online chat operator had told me. Why else would she be saying "work" within meeting me after 2 hours? Because, she had no intention of doing anything with me nor did she even probably know that I had made a 3 week reservation to stay in Shanghai! Nor did she care! This isn't a matter of her changing her mind! This is a clear indication of something else. A system designed for separating gullible men from their money, a system that does not even have enough concern for their high paying male members the protection of holding their female profile holders to a policy that prohibits lying and misrepresentations like telling men lies such as "I'm rich and I'm lonely. Will you share my body and my money? or maybe "If I give you 50 million dollars will you marry me?" maybe even "What kind of car would you like me to buy for you as a gift-a Ferrari?"

Now when a lady I chatted with and gave up on because first she said she wanted to come and visit me in the US then turned around and said she didn't have the money to, then just this morning while I was reading your reply, she chatted to me that if she gave me a million dollars would I marry her?" What in the Fuck? Her name is Na. Over and over again I run into these same kinds of lies! It's not ladies trying to be noticed among their competition. They are lying!  How could any man possibly trust anyone who would tell lies like this? If Asian Date does nothing to discourage these lies because they are making a killing off the fools and stupid assholes like myself buying credits just for believing what they are being told than this is an institutionalized system of deception!

My question to you is-if you receive complaints like mine often, and any man who has been on this site for any length of time would know he's being deceived, only unless most men are smart enough to get discouraged quickly then quit to make way for another and another sucker who also will get frustrated and quit rather than engage customer service for explanations! That could be the only possible way you would not get a repetition of similar complaints! If you had any kind of conscience how could you continue at such a job? Oh, you need the money? Well guess what Pal. I lost more than 10 thousand US dollars not Rubles, not RMB, not yuan! Fucking dollars! Don't you think I needed the money too! No, I did not imagine I would be pissing my money away gambling it away on fake profiles that have simply been verified by passports whether the motive of these operators (ladies) can be vetted or not! Why would there not be a policy of keeping these supposed women members from deceiving the men here?

You said you'd be happy to phone me. Damon had told me he would call me months ago and didn't telling me that my decisions were too emotional. Well, if you knew you were getting fucked wouldn't your decisions become emotional? Fuck yeah! Damon said he'd be working there forever. We even had relatively good repore, but I knew why he wouldn't contact me when he said he would. Because he knew there was no excuse for what has happened to me. There is no other explanation, and at times I actually get physically ill thinking about the time, effort, and money I've put into this, and what has it gotten me? Fucking nothing, but heartache, and dreams that have been crushed! Asian Date has no right to do this to anyone for any reason!

For me, Asian Date, has become a black hole that swallowed my money with false hopes, insulted my intelligence with evasive excuses, and destroyed my dreams of finding a wife again after once before being married to a Taiwan Chinese woman. Instead now I follow the messages I get now selflessly pathetically and hopelessly no longer able to trust anything I am told by the ladies here, And that is fucking tragic! This is the way I feel Amer. This what I have been reduced to, and it sucks! And you wonder why I think that Asian Date is nothing more than a deceptive cash cow for the owners? The above mentioned reasons are exactly why.

If Asian Date were an above board operation that was operating a credible business that sincerely wanted to unite men and women then I wouldn't have ended up like this! And, a manager would have intervened and at least offered some kind of settlement like a refund of credits or help me find a woman who was as serious as I am about finding a mate they can trust. Instead, I get disengenuous excuses because most customer service people don't give a damn aside from pleasantries they have been instructed to regurgitate!

So, I can tell you what it feels like to get fucked. Just open a paying membership with Asian Date and let the false promises begin. And, I did.


I don't know about your experiences, but I was sincerely seeking a wife not just a casual go getter for a week in the sack or a quick lusty affair, like it seems many of the guys here are into. I made the mistake of looking for something real and lasting. Forgive me for my utter foolishness!

Comments to Thread
(Showing 1 to 14 of 26) 1 2 More...
From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2017-06-26 02:37:45 #1

Unfortunately your experiences on AsianDate mirror those of pretty much everyone who has joined there and stayed for any longer than a quick glance. (formerly known as, like all dating sites owne by its parent,, is a flat out scam. We feel bad for you that you went through that, but we assure you that you are in a good place now.

We take care fo our members, male and female, and our members take care of each other. We do everything we can to prevent individual scammers from getting on the site, and when they sneak by us on occasion we encourage members to report them as soon as they suspect them. We investigate every report.

We try to keep everything we do here transparent and we have never posted a single fake profile, not ever sent a single fake message.

If you go back through the blogs before we somehow got on the current Flat Earth topic, which I intend to bring to a halt soon, you will find an incredible amount of useful information and enlightening reading.

We wish you luck in meeting a great Chinese or Asian lifemate here on CLM and ALM.

Best regards, John - Managing Director

From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2017-06-26 09:19:08 #2



Thanks for having the courage to publish this letter you wrote to Asian Date.  I also got burnt when I joined a similar organisation,, some years ago.  Like many Western men, I had no idea that the majority of international internet dating services are out and out criminal enterprises.  Utter scams.  But because they operate in the shadows and are probably quite mobile from country to country, website to website, police forces find it extremely difficult to shut them down.  As soon as one scam site is closed, another one pops up.


The major problem is that by the time most men find out they've been deceived and effectively robbed, they've already spent hundreds, thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars.  It rubs salt into the wound when one learns that there's a good chance the Western men were quite likely on many occasions not talking to a lady, but talking over the net to another man pretending to be a woman, leading them on, further and further down the rabbit hole of financial loss.


When the Western men complain to the management of the website, replies received are either nil or rather vague, expressing mock sympathy and surprise at what happened.  But the company representatives know full well what's occurring, they're an intricate part of the whole fraud and likely receive a hefty commission for every man they deceive.


I wrote an article about my experiences here:

I can confirm that this website -  -  is a bona fide, genuine one. 


Once again Mike, I'm really sorry about your substantial losses, both financially as well as emotionally.  If it's of any comfort, there are THOUSANDS of good men like you who are victims of these criminally deceptive websites.  Money involved globally is likely to be in the hundreds of millions of dollars.  The East European mafia is suspected to be involved, such are the enormous profits, but other criminal gangs are likely to be dipping their fraudulent snouts into the trough of greed as well.


Cheers mate.  

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-26 22:51:27 #3

@Barry1 Thank you very much for your input on my ill-fated foray into the relationship recovery mode via the international trade route. I really feel like an idiot. I am sorry that you as well were victimized. It seems that even in America with all our regulatory laws and supposed consumer protection that these dating enterprises are able to operate offshore havene beyond the jurisdiction of government prosecution. It's obviously a multi-billion dollar industry based purely upon scamming lonely and vulnerable men. It's sacrilage really. Hope you are never caught by another scam like this again as well as I hope for myself. 

Take care.


From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-26 23:15:20 #4

In a second addition to this thread from hell I would like to call into discussion another aspect of the dating debacle that involves culture. That is the experience in particular of being American and facing the complexity of different cultures and their diverse attitudes toward the same question that would seem only to be objective truth or self evdient truth.

Some countries have an inherent manner of addressing honesty and commitment in a much different way than an American interpretation of what a promises actually means. We've all heard that saying "talk is cheap" well in come countries this is even more true than one might expect. For instance form my experiences in China or Mexico it seems that making a promise, something considered somewhat sacred in western civilization it means little in India, the Middle East, or in Asia, it is but lip service, yet in America it is a form of verbal trust that once broken constitutes a loss of face and credibility in nit only a relationship but even in the annals of business. Yet, this form of gentlemen's agreement is moot among other cultures.

My ex-wife (Chinese) once told me that in the world Americans are viewed as being naive and gullible because we expect the same form of up front honesty to be reciprocated and it's not, as a matter of fact, it is used to deceive Americans knowingly by the other party whether it be quibbling over a piece of merchandise in a market square, making a business deal, or forming a relationship with the opposite sex, which I regrettably found out myself. So, I was rather shocked recently when speaking to a young attractive lady born of Cambodian parents who lived in the US telling me that 99% of Asian women were only interested in coming to America for a better life and seeking financial security-in a way she was letting on love be damned. She then posed the question politely why would a younger woman be attracted to an older white man? Would it be as the advertisements have falsely led us to think that Asian women look upon white men as all being Jack on the Titanic, more caring, more loving, more romantic, and that those poor "Left over women" of China are sp desperate to find a man they will gladly snatch up an older white man even if he is not rich?

Is it intentionally deceptive marketing by the media, Chinese government, and criminal enterprises who own these unscrupulous dating businesses who have set the tone and laid the bread crumbs for the gullible American male with his bruised ego, self centered women liberation oriented American women who take him for granted, seeking that genie in a bottle who promises a last chance at redemption? Most likely.

I am not trying to portray American culture as altruistic and noble, we have our heartless bastards as well who should be jailed from former President Obama, Secretary Hillary Clinton, and on down the totem pole to the drug dealing street thug, but one thing Americans do have in common is in the belief of certain self evident truths that are mre borne out of JudeoChristian principles which call upon us to assume honesty when we ourselves espouse it and practice it. Unfortunately, the rest of the world has perceived this as opportunity rather than an admirable quality. As one gullible fool-I rest my case.

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-26 23:24:05 #5


Your piece on the Chinese refusing the admission of foreign English teachers over the age of 60 was intriguing and I had thought of doign so myself being a published author, blogger, and columnist I might be able to lend a hand in the correct application of the language. Often times the Chinese have an awkard way of expressing themselves and I thought I could remedy that in a classroom even though I will admit I have seen some Chinese use English in a technically correct manner that I never thought of using it in. Never the less, it seems about Par for the course that the hard line Communists would figure out a way of excluding the possible dangers of liberating ideas being expressed by the older Constitutionally aware generation of experienced Americans and instead choosing the more liberty and freedom challenged attitudes of Millenials who simply need their Iphones and internet over the lofty premises of individual freedoms.

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-26 23:35:08 #6


Hey, John just wanted to let you know that a woman on your site, a paying female member, contacted me a few weeks ago. She sent me quite a few messages and after we exchanged a few letters she gave me her We Chat ID and I gave her mine. It was quite clear after we talked that she was quite into money and what I could do for her and she even had me scan the property I live at where my ex-wife and I once lived, showing her the yard, the outside of the house, even my large drum set, but being that I am still in the stage of negotiating an out of court financial settlement and helping to sell the property in the process this proved unacceptable to her and she even informed me there were more attatractive men on the site than myself. Yet, she offered to be my friend which proved to be another shot in the dark as she no longer had time for chit chat. She reminded me very much of Caiyu at Asian Date. I do not consider her to be a scammer though, she is merely looking out for herself and a daughter she was careful not to include in her We Chat visuals. It seems that the Oriental mind is very materialistic and practical as compared to the westernized version of mindset.

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2017-06-27 14:09:04 #7


We promise to try to keep the members of ChinaLoveMatch real, but we can't promise to make them all nice. Just as in real life and all dating sites you will meet all kinds. I agree that Chinese women are more practical than western women, but I'm not sure I buy into more materialistic. To my way of thinking, a woman marrying someone to then move herself and a daughter halfway around the world probably has a right to hope for some economic security in the deal. I'd lump that into practical, not materialistic.

But frankly, I think women in all cultures are becoming more materialistic, and probably so are we men. It's just a product of the lifestyle changes we are going through, brought about by the commercialism of all things.

On another note, you commented above to @Barry1 about the dating sites in offshore havens escaping American regulation. Sadly, the site AsianDate is owned by the Company AnastasiaDate, which owns a number of dating sites in various niches, such as Russian, Latina, Ukrainian, etc. All of them seem to be have been operating on the same principle of scamming your own members for every dime you can get since their inception. AnastasiaDate is headquartered in New York, and was founded in 1993 by an American man and his Ukrainian (I think) wife. The company was sold a few years back but remains headquartered in New York to my understanding.  

It's a really dirty industry, but the American companies are not any better than the rest. It's ugly everywhere.


@Anonymous25863 Time : 2017-06-27 16:26:54 #8

You guys should also read what some western men wanted, here is an good example:

"Ideal Partner : Succesful career lady, owns house. Controlling, strong mind. Average to Beautyful. Likes servile man. Will keep working after childbirth. Enjoys occupation. College. Not too thin. Clear skin. Likes role reversal. small feet. clean. not seriously ill. psychologically stable. had two parent household. Willing to correct my sometimes bad personality with a lash and strap on dildo. Must like cunnlingus, foot worship, my fawning submisson. Help me learn Chinese. Honest. Sexual fidelity."

What is the "had two parent household" related to a partner??

From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2017-06-27 16:33:53 #9



"Your piece on the Chinese refusing the admission of foreign English teachers over the age of 60 was intriguing and I had thought of doing so myself being a published author, blogger, and columnist"

Yes Mike, it's a real shame that decent, experienced folk like you and I are automatically excluded from China now, because we've passed the magic age of 60.  Another well known blogger here @WarmLife GZ will be affected also - he's spent many happy years in China and was looking to stay there until at least age 65.  But like the rest of us, he's no longer welcome there as a teacher.


In fact, I bet there are HUNDREDS of older people like us in this disappointing situation, from many different native English speaking countries, such as Britain, Canada, USA, Australia, South Africa and New Zealand.   


I had planned to go there for another year starting this September, until this new hard line rule was unexpectedly instigated. So disappointing. I now have to rethink my life. Revert to Plan B.


Cheers mate.  (beer)

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-27 21:54:16 #10

@ John

Thanks for your reply John. As for the woman on your site, I know there are no guarantees and I did not advocate getting rid of her she is simply not sophisticated enough to hide her true intentions or practice a degree of politeness which is simply the western way of politiely diluting the obvious.

Secondly, I was surprised about Anastasia being founded in America. I wonder then why in the hell no one has brough a class action law suit against these money grubbing bastards? I even saw one of their ads on TV on Fox news and I was shocked. They really have balls! I thought they were first HQ'ed in Hong Kong when they had Asian Beauties when I first began my descent into hell with them about 4 years ago. Evryone I spoke to on the phone was either Chinese with a thick accent or Russian (customer service). Never would have thought they came out of NYC, but it figures New York has always tolerated graft as if it's some kind of badge they are wearing! Thanks John

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-28 19:34:14 #11

@anonymous25863 I think your compilation of western men's actual desires is ludicrous and denigrating and as well you are a coward signing off as anonymous. Grow a pair. Most people aren't half as superficial as you make hasty generalizations about. Is this a joke?

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-28 19:36:27 #12

@Barry1 Well Pal that's what us second hand Lions get from the world. No respect.

From: United States Texas Sherman @Blondman Time : 2017-06-28 20:05:32 #13

Now for a third segment in this unfortunate diary of being a single man in an everchanging and self centered world:

I found it very interesting when on You Tube a number of TV and articles on the term "Yellow Fever" came up. No, this is not some illness from drinking bad water at an Indian reservation not yet raided by the US Cavalry it's a term that applies to us, as the leftist media would describe, stupid white men exercising their white privilege and colonialist pretensions exploiting those poor Asian babes! This is the essence of the rhetoric handed down from MSNBS or Fake News Network (Formerly CNN) who characterize we western guys who have married Asian women or are seeking an Asian wife, so we can attain an indentured bed partner and have free at home Chinese fast food without the inconvenience of waiting for delivery or having to drive to the nearest roach ridden cafe and order up!

I love it, seeing the way that the twisted mentality of the US media portrays the very bulk of it's middle class population as being greedy, guilty, perpetrators of all that is bad. I read some of this tripe and was appalled, but it didn't end there. There were actually articles that attacked Asian women who were attracted to white western males! Many of the women saying they would not date a Chinese guy because they are promiscuous, insensitive, and abusive. I would even venture to call some Chinese men emasculated by their over bearing mothers living a life of servitude for the sake of their Mom due to being left for another woman by the now absent father. Very sad indeed. I have witnessed this personally. I am afraid that what seems to be a good devoted son turns into an unfortunate gutless man, or a very angry person from deep down inside too castrated to expose his true feelings, and that is a tragedy too!

I was aware that many Asian men are angry about their women, as they see it, being drawn by white men, but it should be cause for them to analyze what's behind this syndrome. Is it their behavior that has brought this about? When speaking with Asian Date customer rep, Damon, he once told me that being on the streets of Beijing he had seen Chinese men treating their women like animals! Yet, the other side of the coin was expressed by a Filipino woman I spoke with who talked about the nightmare marriages she had seen between her male friends and their Chinese wives. Seems you can't win either way. When in China during their National Holiday I saw some of the most aggressive and disrespectful behavior of Chinese men toward their women and there were public signs posted in Chinese appealing to the people to have manners or to be patient. it was eye opening to say the least.

So, how we men are perceived even by our own countryment perhaps that's not fair, let's call them journalistic swine, so as not to insult our true countrymen. Let's just say that this is a complex issue and many sides converge here. To all of you about to take the plunge into this strange world of merging cultures and exploitation by all entities-read some of the insights of myself and others here. It's well advised to enter battle with proper gear and intelligence.

@Anonymous25873 Time : 2017-06-29 01:27:30 #14

@anon25863, if this "western" male has a profile like this why dont you report him to the Management here as this is not a bondage/dominatrix site and this guy has no use being here.

Unless this is a copy of the profile of a man from or one of the other nasty sites and you are trying to make a point that not all men are good.....???

Comments to Thread
(Showing 1 to 14 of 26) 1 2 More...
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space.
Submit Thread