Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian

Content of their character

From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2013-11-03 21:09:58
It's too bad that people are so often judged by their appearance, their skin colour or whatever.

There are so many nice people around who may look a little ugly on the outside, yet are absolutely beautiful on the inside.

Does it really matter if someone looks younger than his age? Or looks older than his age? Isn't content of their character - their inherent goodness, kindness and honesty - more important than their looks?

Why is this world so superficial?
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From: China 上海(shang hai) 上海(shang hai) @lhui Time : 2013-11-04 20:27:53 #1
Before meeting the right one, people always like to set a lot of conditions to the idea future wife/ is normal...
As a female over 40, from my point, true love is about feelings(a special chemistry) , when two people have the same good feelings, kinds, types, sizes and colors...etc. don't matter...So, if one person only care about my appearance more than my character, i don't think he is the right one....even he is outstanding in the eyes of others...
I do believe many female this site just want to find their right special one from sincerity, especially these who are over 35. yes, no doubts, appearance is one of the factors that would affect our judgment, but it is not so important to affect our selection !! If it is the only reason she refused to develop a relationship with you, trust me, there should be some other important factors...
Else, if you keep on telling some lady, "in your next trip to China, you would meet several ladies at the same time", i bet, it hard to succeed in your searching(i read it from one of your blog, sorry, it gave me deep impression), of course, i read some your other blogs, i think you are sincerely.
Anyway, the world is not so superficial,and the ladies of this site are all not so superficial~~good luck to you!
From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 大连(da lian ) @haifeng Time : 2013-11-04 20:43:11 #2
From: China @QinQL Time : 2013-11-04 22:14:04 #3
I think most of Chinese women here have the same mind that content of their character - their inherent goodness, kindness and honesty- is more important than their looks.

It sounds you sigh here with somethings happened with you. Don't worry about anything. there are plenty of chances here for you. lol
From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @shellnong Time : 2013-11-04 23:20:51 #4

From: United States Nevada North Las Vegas @Joshua75 Time : 2013-11-05 01:52:51 #5
@Barry1 I couldn't agree more. There is that moment of visual attraction but it can fade so fast. Real attraction comes from knowing other person's heart.

@haifeng I like this old saying! haha.

@shellnong What one man / woman finds attractive might be ugly to someone else. This is also true what one finds ugly another may find beautiful. Your perspective is good. Physical beauty fades fast with an ugly heart, but a good heart endures in value.
From: China 山东(shan dong) 济宁(ji ning ) @paulfox1 Time : 2013-11-05 07:28:48 #6
you are right Barry - I guess it's just the world we live in mate

But you are 100% correct !
From: China 广东(guang dong) 阳江(yang jiang ) @99moonriver Time : 2013-11-05 14:08:44 #7
It is OK, we really dont need to feel sorry about being unloved or indifference, because it is not ture, the truth is that everyone n everything will be loved n appreciated in a right way, in the right time, by the right one, one day.:)

Outside beauty is something runs first, but inside beauty is something runs longer, n the one who wins at the end.

Human being is kind of short sight, so we need to understand n be patient. It takes time to find the diamond..:)

Just think of diamond always being hided inside tough rock, those greatest people with diamond inside usually have to go through a long road being ignored or being discouraged or even being ruin. But all those tough time just like temper with fire, refine by thump, only increase their courage n wisdom. Once people realize the value of their inside beauty, they would be attracted n fall for it.

Vincent Willem van Gogh, one of those good examples. :) Van Gogh was lonely n ignored for a long time, few people understood him, but now, millions of people love him.

From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @shellnong Time : 2013-11-05 15:21:08 #8
Thank you , Mr. Joshua75 , your perspective is good , I like it . :)
From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2013-11-05 19:00:33 #9
@lhui .

Thank you to me comments, lhiu. What you described is exactly right. Though may I ask you something? You said,

"If you keep on telling some lady, "in your next trip to China, you would meet several ladies at the same time", i bet, it hard to succeed in your searching"

Do you really think it so bad for someone like me to see more than one person on a trip to China? Remember that I will be traveling a long way and will only have limited time. So having a short list of maybe three or four ladies to visit for a few days each seems like a good idea. I do not intend to have sex with any of them, just to meet them. Because we all know that chatting over the internet or even using a webcam is quite different to meeting someone face to face.

As long as I am open with the ladies and inform them of my intention, do you think they will be unduly annoyed or hurt by my action? I am hoping they will all understand the situation and appreciate my honesty. Do you agree, dear sister?


Thanks for your words, Haifeng. Your saying, "ugly daughter-in-law treasure" was interesting. I scratched my head a few times, wondering what this meant.

I think it means that even though your daughter-in-law may be ugly, she's actually a treasure if she has a good heart. So parents of a man who marries an apparently less than beautiful lady, may turn out to be very pleasantly surprised by her internal beauty, once they understand and learn more about her.


Thank you for your advice, Lian. You said,

"It sounds you sigh here with somethings happened with you..."

Yes, you are correct. I've had a whole lifetime of sighs and happenings to me, in actuality.

Ahh, but that's a series of stories for another time, another place. I'm sure all of us have had similar experiences to recount here. Life's a meandering journey so fully of the good, the bad and the ugly.


Thank you also for your words, shellnong. You said,
"pretty woman is a jewel, and wise woman is a treasure."

I think all the ladies on this forum including yourself are both precious jewels and delightful treasures. Please be proud of yourself, young sister.


Thanks for your words, Josh. If only everyone realised that there is a time of "visual attraction but it can fade so fast". Looks will definitely deteriorate over time. Yet try to tell that to some of the hormone charged, salivating men out there with their tongues hanging out, who will do almost anything to win the heart of a gorgeous gal, simply because she's a stunner. Will she be so beautiful in twenty years though? External beauty is indeed fleeting; internal virtue is not.


Thanks Paul. You're right.

Many years ago I heard a lady on radio say. "The pretty girls of this world have it made". Being young, I didn't fully appreciate then the truth of this saying. But as time passed, I witnessed again and again, the more beautiful ladies out there being chased by good looking guys and getting other advantages, with the less lovely ladies having to settle for the rest of us. It slowly dawned on me that in this world, despite all the hoary platitudes, physical appearance in fact made a major difference to one's life. Even down to getting a job.

To all those reading this, if you were an employer and had a short list of two people for a position who were roughly equal in age, qualifications and ability - who would you choose? The ugly person or the beautiful one?

I rest my case....

From: China 四川(si chuan) 德阳(de yang ) @prana Time : 2013-11-05 21:44:44 #10
From: China 四川(si chuan) 德阳(de yang ) @prana Time : 2013-11-05 21:48:29 #11
@Anonymous9518 Time : 2013-11-06 01:47:26 #12
@haifeng and there is an old song in the USA, If you want to happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my personal point of view get an ugly girl to marry you!

It goes on to say, "Man your wife is SO UGLY!"
"Yeah, but she sure can cook!!"

It is very funny song and has some truth to it.

But still I chose to marry a beautiful girl, who can't cook! And do you know what? Each time she will try so hard and still cook me a terrible dinner, I will eat every last bite and thank her for her hard work in the kitchen.

It would be just as wrong to assume all beautiful girls are not treasure, just because they are beautiful as it is to not give less beautiful girls a chance. I will say it is a much more rare thing to find a beauty with beauty on the inside too though.
@Anonymous9533 Time : 2013-11-06 15:24:40 #13
there is a 'higher purpose' and 'agreement' on why people got involved in close relationship.

maybe that's the 'nature' way for preventing the non-agreements and non-higher purposes ones. Otherwise, it's going to be more complicated.

the 'special chemistry' is just soul recognition on each others.

From: China 江苏(jiang su) 南京(nan jing ) @shellnong Time : 2013-11-06 16:20:42 #14
Thank you , Mr. Barry , I like your reply .
I have to say " CLM's translation tool " is very powerful , haha .
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