Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
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Are Chongqing women worth marrying for?

From: United States Pennsylvania Philadelphia @confusedloverman Time : 2018-06-15 20:01:07

I have been currently dating a Chongqing woman I met from the movie theatre l went to two weeks ago. We went out twice and she seemed fine. When I told my friends about her, they said Chinese women do not make good girlfriends. I have heard different complaints about marrying Chinese women too. Some said these women are so demanding and overly romantic. Others said they expect a lot, especially from foreign men like me. Are these true?


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From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2018-06-16 10:39:55 #1

@confusedloverman

I am the manager of CLM and ALM, and the moderator of the blogs and forum.

Before people can answer this question, you probably need to add some more information. Please do that in a reply to this comment.

1. Where are you and where did you meet this woman - China or the USA?

    If in the USA, how long has she lived in the USA?

2. How old are you?

3. How old is she?

4. How financially secure is this woman?

5. How well educated is she?

6. How good is her English?

You also need to understand that not all Chinese women are the same. Just as every American woman has her own personality traits and characteristics, so too do Chinese women. 

Once you've provided more detail I will give you my response to your question. But I also suggest that you do a tour of the blogs and you'll find a ton of valuable information about Chinese women through the eyes of our bloggers.

From: China 广东(guang dong) 潮州(chao zhou ) @Sunshineinwinter Time : 2018-06-16 20:04:57 #2

Some women can be demanding, it doesn't matter where she is from, some women are good quality, some are bad, you have to spend the time to get to know her, if you like her

And the questions John asked you are very important, for the people here to give you good advices

 


 

Anonymous26272
@Anonymous26272 Time : 2018-06-16 20:29:19 #3

 I  don't  know what you are talking about ,I was born in chongqing, I met my husband on CLM,we got married for 3 years.  Maybe sometimes we are both a bit crazy,but we love each other , our life is  very good. Don't listen to other people,just listen to your heart!  I

From: China @autumn2066 Time : 2018-06-16 23:28:59 #4


@confusedloverman

You have an interesting name.Lots of confusion, hum? :)

You seem expecting some smart suggestions from your friends or members here. But hi, everyone is unique, so are Chinese women, how could you copy other people's old maps seeking your own road? Even if your own maps in your mind should be pushed away while you start dating with a foreigner with different culture.Lots of things in dating a Chinese women might be different comparing with the dates in your western countries.Get ready for more shock from different culture! (giggle)(giggle) Feeling confused and sometimes depressed by the beating by different culture? -------- Get used to it!!!  :D:D:D

Your friends'experience might or might not happen to you, so your friends'suggestion could or could not be useful, unless most of the situation between you and that Qongqing girl are nearly the same comparing with your friends'dates. 

Born in Qongqing or born in New York doesn't make a women worthy to worry with, the qualities which you are seeking in a woman makes a marriage worthy. IMO, only when your two's hearts always feel happy and safe with each other, only when you two can always work things out together seeing a steady future with each other,only when you two could trust each other are the one to share happiness and sadness with, marrying with someone seems worthy.Those outside stuff such as wealth or power or where you born or what your religion is, don't guaranteed happiness nor make a marriage worthy enough.

You know, wolves like rabbits, rabbits don't like wolves, rabbits like flowers; eagles like voles, voles hate eagles, voles like peanuts. In the jungle, all kinds of animals are so different and their preferences are different too. Let us say, if the four kinds of animals have a party, they will apart or unite soon for different preferences. We might see wolves and eagles staying in a secret room enjoying cigar and movies while voles and rabbits move their table out under a Phoenix flower trees,enjoying the sunshine and breeze and their hand made fragrant tea.......... Different animals want different things from the nature.Human being is animals too.

If you can see yourself in different animals, you might be willing to start to think what kind animal your are. What kind of animals your friends are? What kind of animals your friends' ex-Chinese girlfriends are? And what kind of animal this Chongqing girl seems to be? 

But all these question above are not important at all. Becuase none of your friends could know better than yourself, none of these question above could definite what kind of animal you are. All the keys of a loving relationship are hided deeply in your own mind and your true heart. So why not stop seeking answer from outside world or asking suggestion from your friends? Why no turn back taking time to seek deeper in your own mind? If you want to find the keys of your confusion, you could start with this question --------- What kind of animal you are? Who you are? What your prefences are?

And then , you could ask yourself more question: What did you lack of in your childhood? What are the weakness and goodness in your parents? Who have hurt you most in your life? What types of people always make you angry and sick? What kinds of people could always make your heart happy easily? What kind of qualities in a person could always make you feel safe and happy? 

And then, circle back closer to these question: What do you want from a woman? What are you expecting from a relationship or a marriage? What kind of friends could always feed your mind and enrich your heart? What kind of women you could always trust and go along well with happily? What kind of women could always make you feeling happy and safe? 

After questioning yourself so much question, you must feel exhausted, then quickly write down what you have found in your mind and your heart, and then go shower and  have a good sleep. :)

After woke up, read the note again, and then abbreviate it to several refined words. These words would be the key words for yourself in seeking the right one. Now you make your own map! The map of seeking true love and happy marriage should be very simple and clear!   

You could keep reminding yourself these key words in all the future datings. You will find out that all the potential perfect partners seem have similar qualities which could always make your heart happy and safe. You will much less confuse what kind of women are worthy to marry with. No matter western women or Chinese women,there are some good some bad. You will only choose those quality types whom have the qualities which are so important for creating a happy relationship.

Use your own mind protecting your heart, use your own gut guiding your seeking.If you could ever know clearly about who you are and what you can't stand and what you can't live without, you won't be fooled in such a wild colorful world, you won't lost your way in all these lure from shallow substance and unworthy games.

Best wishes to you.Enjoy your love-seeking course exploring this Asian Jungle.:)

From: Australia New South Wales Sydney @oldghost Time : 2018-06-17 11:33:21 #5


@confusedloverman

Such stereotypes are easily thrown around, but are of course nonsense - there are people who are demanding over-romantic bossy etc. etc. in every race, culture, place, time.  But the words you quote are just stereotypes, cliches, and bear no relation to the person, the individual.   Find out for yourself the type of person you are face to face with, talking with, laughing with, eating with, planning with.

 

老鬼

Anonymous26289
@Anonymous26289 Time : 2018-06-21 00:12:10 #6

@confused... with all endeavours in life you need to have your eyes and ears wide open, trust your gut instincts. If it feels wrong then it most likely is.

If it feels right then proceed with caution and steadiness. BE SMART!

Western and Chinese cultures are vastly different with some similarities, confusing? You bet!!

Remember, to a Chinese woman you are the MAN and are expected to be a MAN!!! They do not look at men like western women do, they appreciate that you are a MAN!

Keep your money close and take your time.

"may the force be with you"

From: United Kingdom Hampshire Alton @RobertB Time : 2018-07-28 18:56:18 #7

Hello @confusedloverman​​

I thnk that you have put it quite well. You have achieved one thing and this is good. I have seen very good answers of people, starting with John's @JohnAbbot very very important note that you need to look at some very basic information that may shed a light on the particular woman you may be interested in. Then the amazing thuoght sharing experience of @autumn2066.

You definitely can find so called gems here. So, I think you have done very well writing your concerns out here. It happens that my first girlfriend was from Chongqing. 

I met her years ago.. in very strange circumstances. Out of this world we could say. 

Although it could not look like this to the outside world.
I was working in a neighbourhood as a security drive by officer when I learnt about one of my clients move out of the are.
They were very good people so I missed them. Yet I had a feeling that someone interesiing would move in.
Yes, I even had a feeling that would be a Chinese woman. How would I have known?
One day I met her, walking up the road with shopping .. I came up and talked to her.
We started a very beautiful relationship although it was not to be culminated by happy family life.
Still we had moments of bliss and deep understanding on spiritual level although we did nornal things, like
eating out together, going to movies and other things lovers do. We nearly never spoke Chinese because she was not into
Chinese old style living. She was nearly fully "westernized".
Despite that she listened a lot to Chinese songs as much as Canadian romantic songs.. Names like Celine Dion and Meng Ting wei
should be enough to tell you her mindset.
Although she was very close to me she did not want to share her secrets with me. I found out later that she had some good reasons for that.
To this date I have some special feeling for Sichuan people. She was very special woman to me and although
I was not able to be truly enough for herI cannot blame her for this.
Life is a concoction of so called fate and our own struggle, to the ridiculous degree.
On one hand we have some definte limits like life span of humans, hardly excceding 120 years in nearly all cases for example.
There are many. despite many new improvements and positive thinking. Still humans and animals too, can achieve amazing results in some
special circumstances Sometimes I came across people who demanded from me just to make a decision as if this only could change the world
and myself. Maybe it is as simple as that, because I have also experienced this.Despite the obvious limitations.
So, as far as Sichuan people, although Chongqing is deemed to be separate due to its special status as a huge city,
 are all people like everyone else.
 

From: United Kingdom Hampshire Alton @RobertB Time : 2018-07-28 19:18:11 #8

 


@confusedloverman, oh I forgot. 

It is good to get some advice but even more important to be able not to be too influenced by it.
The information you got is by definition from other people.
They are different to you and have different experiences by default. Of'course they can match.
Yet they do not have to at all.
It is important to see for yourself and look out for clues.
One is such that if she responds or acts totally differently to what you would
expect then you need to be more cautious. This does not mean you have to stop but you may need to
if you realize that you are too vastly too incompatible for example.
One good thing to do is to watch her and learn from her behaviour.
It is like watching and probing but very carefully.
Of'course if you are happy then you will know it. If you are not then you can also ask her how she feels.
Maybe this can bring some answers from the source. Although women do not always say it straight and sometimes they
may even test you if you read their mind. I know that sometimes it is impossible but sometimes it is way too easy.
Both men and women are spirits and humans and animals and social creatures and so on.
Take this into account. This will make your life much easier.
Usually you need to relate well on at least one or two of those levels to make it even work.
Being human part is maybe most confusing. I think it is just that they act like you do.
I love your problem because it is kind of very real but once you have sorted this out it is very easy.
It is only you and her. Not others.Although the other people may want to influence you both but this happens mostly when
both of you have serious doubts. If not then it is hard to influence your love.
also there is a sort of good principle If you are in doubt then act decently and honestly.
If you are misteated then be it. At least you are on a solid ground and if she rejects you then you know where you stand.
It is not about being with her but being happy. If you are happy you will make your woman happy.
Although it can be true also that if you make someone happy it will give you a good feeling but you should avoid doing
things against your or her interests.
Every little gain at someone's expense can create some undesired side effects better kept to minimum.

It is long and I hope it is not too long my comment.
To John, I am sorry but sometimes I feel like writing and reading too but it is harder for me to do it in a very professional manner.Still who knows ... Maybe .. 
I think you know what I mean. I like that this website is very well run. I must admit it although I am not inclined to sound too nice here.
I just say the truth.

 

From: China @autumn2066 Time : 2018-08-06 00:40:20 #9


@RobertB

"We started a very beautiful relationship although it was not to be culminated by happy family life.
Still we had moments of bliss and deep understanding on spiritual level although we did nornal things, like eating out together, going to movies and other things lovers do."

Sounds beautiful.Sharing bliss and deep understanding on spiritual level with someone is lucky, the memory will always be shining everytime you look back.

Hope one day I could find the special one and then say to myself-------- The three days with him, is worthy my three years of living. 

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