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A question for Chinese women. Which western man do you like?

From: Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk Dneprovskoye @Sergey77 Time : 2017-12-12 21:11:43

The question of appearance. We all know that there are certain canons of beauty that are indestructible. But depending on the nation, race, traditions, everyone has their own canons of beauty. Most people like high. Everyone likes athletes. Wide shoulders. Some people like cute, some rude. Brown or blue eyes? Increased hair follicles or not?

The question of emotionality is shy or self-assured, the soul of the company or the silent, expressively expressing their love or restrained?

Is the age issue older or younger? What is the optimal age difference?

The question of the place of residence - do you want your spouse or boyfriend to live with you in China or do you want to move to his country (in this case, talking about developed countries, I do not mean his own)))?

The question of attitude - I have repeatedly seen in the questionnaires of girls description of "obedient and obedient." I thought that if a Chinese girl is looking for a Western man, she wants to dominate the family, well, or at least to equality. I do not mean that a man would fall down and kiss his feet, but a woman should feel loved and a man should do it pleasantly - flowers, surprises, romantic trips, although the legs of a beloved woman are also beautiful and can be kissed).

The issue of family responsibilities - I cook and go shopping, but I do not like to clean. How do you allocate responsibilities?

Family question - will your relatives come to live with us? For example, I love freedom, but I can not deny your relatives that they would live with us.

Animal Question - I love animals, but in the bedroom the animal is not hygienic.

Do not hesitate to answer, I do not see you). You can even pour me mud for stupid questions - I will not be offended, just argue your question or answer. Best regards, Sergey.


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From: China 辽宁(liao ning) 抚顺(fu shun ) @Anita3a Time : 2017-12-15 18:42:27 #1
I've seen you
From: Hong Kong,China Hong Kong Tuen Mun @jellyfish Time : 2017-12-16 11:24:22 #2

 

Hi, Sergery 77, 

Very interested post. I read your another thread. But would like to answer some of your questions here. What I am going to say only represents me not from all Chinese ladies as all human beings are subjective. You asked so many questions, I will answer some of them: 

1. Appearance: we all have different standard of beauty! According to what I observe: blue eyes are very attractive, at least to me. It is. Tall and strong. However, most Chinese women are very down to earth. I will say: most of them down to the point. The appearance is sort of not that important. What women care (no matter where she comes from) We only care the fact that the man whether they really care of us. Many men think that women only care about money, no actually women care about security!!!!! Women WORRY security all the time. This is their nature. That why woman need a man is that both genders will equip each other in so many ways that they cannot realize. Women supply men with stable emotional home. Anyway, to so many women, they mesuare a man by how good they are in financially because they yearn for security. However, I have to say something here: if women really love that men and find out that the man really love them. They don't care about the finance because women will figure it out how things will work. (Remark: all of us don't want to see our partner overweight!!!)

2. Age: If a man is younger or older than women 10 years, that is ok. More than 10 is no good, in my opinion!!! 

3. Place of residence: to me, I don't care where to locate, of course western country is the best. We love our men enough to follow them to every corner of the world. If you want your future spouse to move to your home country, you have to show her YOU and HER will overcome all the challenge together, instead of letting her to deal with all challenge by herself, especially the language barrier!!! 

4. Attitude: so many western men fall in love with Asian women because of their obedience. I heard so many times, some western men complained to me: the western women are too independent!!!! To some point, they don't respect their men. That is why they look for Asian girls. The Chinese women emphasize their obedience. This is good for certain extent. But I will also say, some Chinese women could be very dominative. You should pay attention to. 

5. Family: to me, if you love someone enough, I don't care about their family will move in. But to me, I prefer a family with two. Not let other people live with you. Because it is your own family. 

I will say many questions you mentioned about could work out with your future spouse. No need to worry about. When the right person comes, it is hard for you to mess up a relationship. 

How well is your Chinese language? If you could understand it perfectly, I will send you a Youtube video that describe the nature of Chinese women and the reward. 

P.S. All the BS above is my subjective opinion which come from a Hong Kong woman. 

 

 

From: Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk Dneprovskoye @Sergey77 Time : 2017-12-16 22:05:26 #3

 @jellyfish

Dear. Thank you for your reply and interest in this matter. I think that the subjective opinion gives a more extensive view than any edited presentation. For example, for example, the inflated demands in some questionnaires became clear (this does not mean that they are not worthy - they simply express their fear of new relationships). I see that your Orientation is a family, but what about equality? I think every person is worthy to realize their ambitions, desires, aspirations - to make a career, open a business, become an artist or a writer. The family is the union of two loving people who help each other to be happy. At the expense of Western men who fall in love with Chinese girls because they are obedient - this is not true. You can not fall in love with a person because of obedience, for example I do not like obedient girls, I like independent and ambitious personalities, even if she submits me to her dilute and reveal her inner desires and ambitions. And if the girl is so independent that she ceased to respect a man, then she did not like him. A housewife does not participate in the process of becoming a person, career or husband's business-that is, half her life is unknown to her, they are strangers. I think ideally when they complement each other, live in common interests, have common goals. A man is stronger than a woman, in most cases a woman is financially dependent on a man, therefore a loving man will not look for a submissive girl, but will try to give all the reins of her beloved and will support her aspirations and realize her aspirations. I read a lot from Chinese men that their girls are very mercantile, and received from you the answer that mercantilism is your expression of mistrust of a partner.

And an anecdote on the topic of equality in the family. The man at work says, "You always have a little boy running errands for your wife, you sit under her skirt and heel." Come home, sit at the table, pound your fist on the table and say who is the master? " - she will be frightened and will treat you with respect. The man obeyed, drank slightly for courage, came home, sat down at the table and punched the table and told his wife, "I did not understand who is the master in the house?" . The wife approaches and speaks threateningly "I am the master, but what?" , the man answers "Nothing sweet, I just clarified." I hope you smiled).
Thank you very much for your response.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2017-12-17 06:51:47 #4

@jellyfish @Sergey77 So great to see the openness and vulnerability of your questions and answers. Openness and vulnerability are essential to a growing a healthy relationship.

 

There are very few elements that apply to all Chinese women but every Chinese woman that I have ever spoken to wants security. Jellyfish, you quite rightly point out that this does not necessarily eliminate a poor man. However, a poor man must have a strong sense of personal worth and a willingness to make his and his partner's life the best it can be.

 

"We only care the fact that the man whether they really care for us. " I know this is true for my partner and her circle of friends. Big gestures from a man count a lot but much more important are the large number of everyday small gestures of love and support.

 

 

From: Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk Dneprovskoye @Sergey77 Time : 2017-12-18 18:13:35 #5

 @melcyan 

Thank you very much for your comment. A few words about openness. I'm open because I appreciate time and money, not only my own but also a candidate for the role of spouse. And if you can make money, then you will not be able to return time, and to correspond for several years, and then to meet and understand that we do not approach each other, I do not like it. I'm more comfortable with it - like each other, talked on video chat, met and got married, and the romantic period can continue in marriage for the rest of your life. If the relationship in marriage is harmonious, then romance will manifest itself in every glance, touch, and in general the honeymoon can never end.
At the expense of money that gives a sense of security, this view is very strongly overrated. I opened the business seven times, my parents live in a prestigious area and neighbors are mostly bosses and businessmen, I'm a sociable person and have good friendships with neighbors, to the older generation I'm very attentive and they love me, to the younger generation I'm always kind and they take me for their own, I adore children and I know all the little ones in the yard. I always get loans (sometimes quite large sums) of money and help using my connections. By education I am a lawyer and my many odnogrupniki occupy good posts, but after studying I never worked for this profession. I had a sewing workshop for sewing workwear, a tailoring shop for outerwear (twice opened), a computer shop, a mobile phone shop, sewing and sewing courses, and a workshop for making women's designer jewelry. All businesses went under the same scenario - I lent money, formalized the enterprise, recruited staff, studied the sales market and supplies, negotiated sales, bought material and equipment, engaged in advertising, the wife was engaged in organizational issues, work with personnel and accounting. I have a good intuition on business and we always had a good profit to buy apartments, cars and lived on a broad foot. My husband ran the family in my family, I lived with her interests, hobbies and tastes, but in business I must manage. For the first time in business she listened to me, but time passed the struggle in the enterprise, she began to manage and did not listen to my advice, I closed up and threw her to help, the business suffered losses, we looted the debts of selling flats and cars .. All businesses fell apart over it scenario. For 12 years of marriage, we bought 5 apartments and 3 cars, and all gave for debts.
Where you can feel safety if your mother's welfare is only temporary and only harmony in the family can support your prosperity on one level. My personal opinion is that only in love and trust to one another can one feel safe.
Sincerely .

From: Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk Dneprovskoye @Sergey77 Time : 2017-12-18 18:49:09 #6

@ Anita3a
Cute girl. I do not have the right to tell you how you should act, but please look at the questionnaires of the site participants - how many French people over 50 years old can be found here? You are a beautiful, sweet and gentle lady, judging by you I can assume that you are kind and a little withdrawn in yourself. My compliments from the heart - I think I can melt your heart with your inappropriate saying. I would have made one more compliment, but I think it will not be very correct in the circumstances. By the way, I sent compliments to you, and I want you to know that you are very attractive girl.
Yours faithfully.

From: Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk Dneprovskoye @Sergey77 Time : 2017-12-18 20:29:49 #7

 @ jellyfish

 

Cute girl. I would like to comment on your sympathy for the blue eyes. By the way, I also like the blue, blue and emerald green eyes of a representative of the opposite sex. In my family, half of the family has brown eyes, the other half of the family has naked eyes. Representatives of the Aryan nation (Germans, Ausrians, Balts, Scandinavians) with blood-mixing have an increased risk of genetic abnormalities, in contrast to Russians - most of them have Asian genes from the Tatar-Mongol. This question was important to me because I plan to have more children, if my second half agrees. I have Chinese people in my family, my great-grandfather was married three times to a Chinese girl, so in my blood there is the blood of your nation and a bunch of others - Jews, Ukrainians, Poles of Russians. Therefore, there will be no genetic abnormalities. By the way, as if I did not like blue eyes, but I always fell in love with black-eyed girls.

Yours faithfully

 

From: Hong Kong,China Hong Kong Tuen Mun @jellyfish Time : 2017-12-20 00:10:52 #8

 

 


@Sergey77

Very quick response to some of your comments. I agree that there is no one will marry a lady ONLY because of her obedience!!!! Obedience is one of the virtues they have. People fall in love with other because of so many reasons, appearance, characters, personalities, etc. 

Obedience could co-exist with independence. There is no absolute independence because human being is decided to depend on each other!!! That is the fact!!! We all depend on other human beings on certain extent. To me, independence is something that we all have. We have our own thoughts, we have our own decisions. Independence will make us have a strong feeling of existence. 

Obedience, to me, is a kind of "respect of leadership." In a marriage, when two become an entity, even though two individuals have different opinions on one subject, woman's obedience make her to follow her husband's own advice AFTER both discuss the subject although she doesn't total agree with his own opinion. There must be a leadership in any organization or instituion, including marriage. I am not talking about one totally dictate another. 

If my any expression or opinion to make you feel that mercantilism exists in me. I will be sorry for my poor communication. If you read Chinese history, the history of Chinese women at least most of the time, you see that women were trade in so many forms to strengthen their family's social status. The real liberation of women is that they realize they have the right to fall in love with the guys they really like. 

Men hate to see that marriage is a trade, women might share the same feeling. I will say both men and women they are looking for different things in a marriage. 

 

 

 

 

From: Ukraine Dnipropetrovsk Dneprovskoye @Sergey77 Time : 2017-12-23 23:50:31 #9

 

@ jellyfish 

 

 

As I understand the marriage. Marriage is an equal union of two loving people. This is a tacit understanding of each other's needs and desires. In marriage there are no divisions for men's and women's duties, there is only an understanding of who at the given moment can better or who is more comfortable to carry out certain tasks. In marriage there are no stupid desires - if something can please the partner and make him happy, you need to consider and strive to fulfill the wishes of your half. Marriage does not need sacrifices - the difficulties and misfortunes of one, make the entire union unhappy. In marriage there should be full trust, one trusts the other so that the desires and needs of his half become his desire and necessity. In marriage there is no word "I", there is only the word "We". Marriage as in any other equitable union must learn its half, its tastes, needs, desires, weaknesses and strengths, predispositions. There is no debt in marriage, no one owes or owes anything to anyone - this is an alliance of love, faithfulness and trust (in religion by the way, there are three female saints and virtues: Love, Faith and Hope.) In marriage, there is no place for humiliation, insult, pressure or, even more so, violence. By humiliating, insulting or acting as something not according to conscience - you humiliate and insult yourself and the whole union. In marriage, you do not need to hide your desires, if you become happier - your union will become happier. Friends, relatives, business partners are just the environment of your union. In marriage, you can not humiliate your desire, since the desire of one is desire and the other. In the Ukrainian legislation perjury in favor of the spouse is not considered a crime. At the expense of independence in marriage - I think that marriage is a voluntary part of the dependence for the independence of the common, and only adherents of esoteric currents are achieving total independence. In an equal union, everyone has their weak and strong sides, and if this is your strength and you are better versed in this matter, you take control over yourself and you become a respected guide). In marriage, we all want our half to be happy then and you will be happy.
This is my personal understanding of marriage and relationships.
Sincerely.

Anonymous26145
@Anonymous26145 Time : 2018-02-12 11:28:13 #10

There's a great blog here on CLM/ALM written by a Chinese Chrisian sister, Linda Chen. She writes about what Chinese women look for in a Western husband. 1. Christian, 2. a man who'll care for her, 3. handsome, tall and they'll have beautiful mixed babies, 4. doesn't believe in superstitions. Check it out.

Anonymous26147
@Anonymous26147 Time : 2018-02-13 00:40:28 #11

Don't forget that most Chinese women consider 5'8" and over tall, so those of us under 6' in height are still in the game. Besides the actual reason women seek taller men as it is in their DNA to choose the strongest, tallest, good looking man for breeding purposes. So women are visual first in choosing a mate. If you are not considered good looking or handsome then present yourself in a clean cut, well groomed light as it will be in your favour to do so. In today's Chinese society most women also look for wealth in a man as it can provide the security and a lifestyle most women want. If you are tightfisted with your money while in a relationship with a Chinese woman be prepared to live a life of hell as they will remind you of it every single chance they get, even to the detriment of your relationship. (Face) They have no filter when it comes to their emotions and you need to understand this quickly. (y)

 

Very few modern Chinese women in today's are "obedient" they will care for you physically in many ways a western woman by choice will not do. If another women has her eyes on you, your partner will tear her to shreds...literally! Emotionally it is much different than being with a western woman, love is different in their eyes than in yours... Any western man married to a Chinese woman or invloved with a Chinese woman will have experienced these things at one timeor another..most likely more than once. 

Once you understand the differences and accept them your relationship has the ability to soar like you never thought possible. They will stand by your side or even lead the charge!

So at the end of the day, present yourself in the most positive light possible, be trustworthy, calm, respectful and most of all try to be as open minded as you possibly can as this is your biggest asset. 

God put women on the earth but he made Chinese women from a different mold. They are beautiful, exotic, graceful, usually highly intelligent, strong mentally and a challenge for us mere mortals!

 

Good luck in your search...

 

Anonymous26148
@Anonymous26148 Time : 2018-02-13 07:45:38 #12

@Anonymous Thank you for drawing the following to my attention.

 

https://blog.chinalovematch.net/blog/article/What-do-Chinese-Women-Look-for-in-a-Western-Husband

 

While not all Chinese women have this perspective it is definitely an essential read for all CLM men.

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