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Anonymous26833
@Anonymous26833 Time : 2020-06-25 21:19:54 #29
A western man said hope to get meet my parents, it is mean that he consider want marriage with me? We have connected years, met one time in person.
From: United States South Carolina Myrtle Beach @JoeM65 Time : 2020-06-27 01:31:41 #30

@Anonymous26833

In western culture, meeting the parents does not always have the same connotation as it does in eastern culture. 

If the western man has read the forums here (or done anything to educate himself on cultural differences) he should be aware of this. 

Since you have been communicating for years and have met in person before, I understand how you could interpret his desire to meet your parents in this way.

Maybe you could ask this man if he knows the significance of meeting your parents?

Suggest that he search on Google for what does meeting the parents mean in Chinese culture

If he does plan to meet your parents I recommend that you plan ahead and explain everything to him. Meeting the parents in western culture is often more casual. Tell him that he should bring a few gifts and give him some suggestions for appropriate gifts. Recommend appropriate attire, how to behave, and everything you can think of. Do not make any assumptions. 

For example... In western culture, it might be considered appropriate to show some physical affection (like a hug) when meeting the parents of someone you have been dating for a long time. So, give him direct and explicit suggestions on proper decorum when meeting your parents. It will help him to prepare and make the best possible impression.

I hope this was helpful!

From: Australia New South Wales Sydney @oldghost Time : 2020-06-27 07:49:46 #31

@anon..33 It is not quite as serious as it might be in China, and no need to collect the hong bao 红包 yet!  But it does at least show serious intent。

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2020-06-27 12:10:35 #32

@Anonymous26833 Let him know what meeting with your parents will mean to your parents. If he still wants to meet them then you have your answer. If he still wants to meet your parents in full knowledge of what the meeting means then you will also need to prepare him for the meeting. My partner spent a month training me and giving her family selected information about me before she introduced me to her mother and siblings. This planning and training was worth the effort. I am now a fully accepted member of a Chinese family.

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-06-28 13:38:25 #33

@Anonymous26833 - personally, I'd be very surprised if this man didn't mean that he is interested in marrying you when he said he hoped to get to meet your parents. Even if you were not Chinese but were regular Canadian woman, or even an American woman, I would be surprised.

Even in Western cultures this is a pretty strong statement that he wants to ramp up the relationship to one that involves a very firm commitment to a long term future together. No Western male, I humbly submit, ever wants to meet the parents of a woman he isn't  dead serious about. Why would he?

The only way this wasn't an expression that he wants to become at least your life partner is if he spoke the words "I hope to get to meet your parents" immediately after you told him several really fun stories about your parents that made him believe they are the most entertaining people on earth. 

In my experience no Chinese parents are ever entertaining people until after their daughter has nailed herself a serious husband, right? 

Don't query him about what he meant. Just tell him you asked your parents and they want to meet him too. Then ask him when he can be there to make it happen. DO NOT reveal that you have any doubt about what he meant. He said he hoped to meet them and you are accomodating him. 

Now sit back and enjoy the show.

Anonymous26840
@Anonymous26840 Time : 2020-06-28 20:43:33 #34

@JoeM65
@oldghost
@JohnAbbot
@melcyan
Thanks for your good advices. these are really helpful to me. I have never been to any other country, not good at English too. I have connected him years,but not very frequent connecting,sometimes we text messages to each other after 2-3 days.This seems not like in a relationship,did it? I have not connected other men too.

We connect a little stronger after met.He give me a messages every day at least.I don't like video or vioce,because not so confident of my poor English. We got along with each other good.It was better than us expected.

Then one day he said that,meet my parents.I need to sure how it real means in western culture before he meet my parents,as a friend or as a relationship partner.After all my parents don't know I am connecting a foreigner.

But,because the virus, I think he have no chance to meet me or my parents this year.

I answered that he will meet my parents if he like to.

Thanks for your advices again!

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