Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
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Anonymous1774

时光易逝人易老,想念那些熟悉的名字

@Anonymous1774 Time : 2020-03-24 00:42:13

刚来这个网站的时候,离婚一年,女儿3岁半。现在,女儿已经过了8岁,二年级的小学生了,而我,也从40岁跨越过了45岁的坎,青丝里开始夹杂着白发。不变的是,仍然是单身带着女儿;不同的是,已走出离婚的阴影,在生活的琐碎和忙碌中,过着尚算快乐的生活。



搜了一下旧贴子,那些鼓励人心的故事,熟悉的姐妹的名字,@LoveF, @QinQL , @chengcheng72, @Grace172, @Nora1216, @kitenicole32....那时从姐妹们的文字里看到很多的故事与人生阅历,在那段最黑暗的时光里,给予了我很大的精神慰藉及寄托,最初一年也浅谈过几个,但每个交流都时间不长就自动终止;碰到好几个骗子...然后,我就放弃了。



2020,艰难的开始,无情的疫情一路向西,两三个月未能探亲访友,未能踏春赏花,寂寞了春花,憋坏了孩子。



嗯,那时大家叫我羊羊。很想知道大家都还好吗?偶尔登录进来,就是想看到有熟悉的名字出现,更贴,或发贴。不过,看来,这都是旧篇章了。祝大家都好好的。


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From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-03-25 11:08:13 #1

@Anonymous1774 - thanks for this posting. I too would love to hear from these great members and hope they will respond to you. I am sure there are many other members who also would like to know how these wonderful ladies are doing these days. If they don't respond at first, let's keep trying again.

Please note that in your thread I added the @ sign in front of each of their names. That means that they will receive a notice in their email that someone has mentioned them in a thread on CLM. Now I am going to add the same list of names with the @ sign so they will each get a second email saying someone has mentioned them in a comment.

Hey @LoveF, @QinQL , @chengcheng72, @Grace172, @Nora1216, @kitenicole32 - someone who admires you from your time spent teaching us all on CLM wishes you would come back and tell us how you are all doing. We all agree and would love to hear from you all.

Now perhaps other members could also add comments that include that list of @names. Eventually they will get so many emails their curiosity will force them to come back and see why we are commening about them.

And @Anonymous1774, you can also post a comment on your own thread explaining in more detail why you hope to hear from these wonderful ladies.

Cheers to you all, John

From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Grace172 Time : 2020-04-08 12:55:46 #2

你好,羊羊(洋洋)!老朋友,你好吗? 光阴似剑,我记得好像是2012年来这注册的,一晃8年多啦。谢谢你还记得我。你提到那几个好姐妹让我回忆起当年我们在此论坛里互相鼓励互相安慰的美好时光。妹妹,找对的人虽然不容易,可别放弃。生活总是出人意料的。你才45还很年青啊,而且你很乐观很阳光。 我在女儿两岁时离婚做单身妈妈,为了她我拒绝了几个追求者一直等到女儿18了我才考虑找个伴,我当时的心态是随缘,有没有另一半我都能活的好好的。开始也碰过几个骗子,什么军人啊,还有硬要给我送贵重礼物啊,幸好在CLM看过有关骗子的贴,没上当。也碰过一些奇葩的。还有一两个保持断断续续通信联系,可能我是慢热型而且当时太投入教学工作,总是没及时回信。人家看我“不专心“也慢慢没联系我啦。我这大叔也是其中一个,我以为他也会慢慢消失掉,他却某一天出其不意跑来广州要求见面。见面后我还是只当他是普通朋友,不冷不热的。他回去后打电话说我浪费他的时间,把我删掉了。一周后他又突然要求加我,我说加可以,但我们现在只能是普通朋友。然后我们断断续续聊天几个月直到他回美国后通过视频让我认识他的朋友和女儿。(如果一个男人真的想和你发展关系,他会把你介绍给他的朋友和家人)。几个月后他同意来广州和我一起发展我们私人英语教室。然后我们在广州一起工作生活半年多。可他对教学没耐心,还说不习惯广州的天气和拥挤,整天吵着要我跟他回美国,而我舍不得放弃我的教学,加上担心到美国后只能做低薪的体力活不肯去。为此我们常常吵架,分手好几次。最后为了他还有考虑我女儿还是同意跟他去美国。可不知道什么原因我们申请到了广州美领馆后一直没下落。他找律师和议员写信给美领馆都没答复。那段时间情绪他很失落,我们天天通话互相鼓励,感情反而升温。他不想这样等下去了,跑来广州和我结婚,然后重新申请夫妻签证,那时候,我女儿已经超龄,没有申请她。她大学毕业后我供她到澳洲读研,现在已经毕业留在澳洲工作。我和大叔在这里生活还算可以。我们在郊外买了个房子,他现在还在工作赚钱养家,我在家当农妇,种菜种花养鸡养鸭。现在疫情期间,我们不出门,蔬菜水果鸡鸭肉蛋都可以自给自足了。只是很久没教书了,来美国后我的英语反而退步了,除了吵架用的英语有进步外。哈哈。文化和性格差异或者我们前世是冤家,每天就是吵吵闹闹,然后哄哄骗骗。总的来说他对我还算是真心的,不然我早就跑回国啦。这就是我的故事。我记得当时信息成功配对的姐妹说要主动出击才能获得成功。可我是随性随心。碰上这个死缠烂打的大叔,很难说这是成功。找到伴侣只是另一种生活的开始。如果没碰上大叔的话,我一个人的生活应该也挺好的,周末给学生上课,其他时间在家种菜种花和朋友聚会去旅游。我一直认为就算你没有创造财富的能力,没有当官的本事和人脉,但每个人都能创造幸福快乐的生活,幸福是从心里创造出来的,不是靠别人给的。就像你说的现在有女儿陪伴,生活也很开心,对吧。寒冬终会过去的,疫情也会过去的,今天听武汉已经解封啦。你和孩子平平安安熬过这疫情就是幸福啊。祝你开心每一天!



Hello, Yangyang (Yangyang)! Old friend how are you

Time is like a sword, I remember it seemed to be registered here in 2012, and it has been shaking for more than 8 years. thank you for remembering me. The few good sisters you mentioned reminded me of the good times we had encouraged and comforted each other in this forum. Sister, although finding the right person is not easy, don't give up. Life is always unexpected. You are only 45 years old and you are very optimistic and sunny.

I divorced when my daughter was two years old and became a single mother. For her, I rejected a few suitors. I waited until my daughter was 18 before I considered looking for a companion. . I have also met a few scammers at first. What kind of soldiers do I have to give me a valuable gift? Fortunately, I have seen posts about scammers at CLM, but I was not fooled. I have also encountered some wonderful things. There are also one or two who maintain intermittent communication. Perhaps I am a slow-heating type and I was too involved in teaching at that time. I never responded in time. People looked at me "unfocused" and slowly didn't contact me. My uncle is also one of them. I thought he would also disappear slowly, but he came to Guangzhou one day unexpectedly and asked to meet. After meeting, I still only treat him as a normal friend, not lukewarm. When he went back, he called and said that I wasted his time and deleted me. A week later, he suddenly asked to add me. I said it was OK, but now we can only be ordinary friends. Then we chatted on and off for several months until he returned to the United States through video to let me know his friends and daughter. (If a man really wants to develop a relationship with you, he will introduce you to his friends and family). A few months later he agreed to come to Guangzhou to develop our private English classroom with me. Then we worked and lived together in Guangzhou for more than half a year. But he was impatient with teaching, and said that he was not used to the weather and congestion in Guangzhou. He clamored all day and asked me to return to the United States with him. Refused to go. For this reason we often quarrel and break up several times. Finally, for his sake, my daughter agreed to go to the United States with him. But I don't know what the reason is that we haven't fallen after applying to the Guangzhou Consulate. He wrote a letter to the US Consulate with lawyers and lawmakers and did not reply. During that time, he was very emotionally lost. We talked to each other every day to encourage each other, but our emotions heated up. He didn't want to wait like this. He came to Guangzhou to marry me and reapply for a husband and wife visa. At that time, my daughter was over age and did not apply for her. After she graduated from university, I offered her to study in Australia. Now she has graduated and stayed in Australia to work. My uncle and I can live here. We bought a house in the suburbs. He is still working and earning money to support his family. I work as a farmer at home and grow vegetables and flowers to raise chickens and ducks. During the epidemic, we will not go out, and the vegetables, fruits, chickens, ducks, and eggs can be self-sufficient. It's just that I haven't taught in a long time. After coming to the United States, my English has regressed. In addition to the improvement in English used in quarrels. Haha. Differences in culture and personality, or our previous life is an enemy, every day is noisy, and then coaxed. In general, he is really sincere to me, otherwise I would have returned home long ago. This is my story. I remember the sisters who successfully matched the information at that time said they must take the initiative to be successful. But I am casual. It was hard to say that this was a success when I met this stalked uncle. Finding a partner is just the beginning of another life. If I have n’t met my uncle, my life should be pretty good. I teach students on weekends and grow vegetables and flowers at home and travel with friends at other times. I have always thought that even if you do not have the ability to create wealth, no official skills and connections, but everyone can create a happy life, happiness is created from the heart, not by others. Like you said, now with my daughter, life is also very happy, right. The cold winter will eventually pass, and the epidemic will also pass. Today, Wuhan has been unsealed. It is happiness for you and your child to survive the epidemic in peace. Hope you will be happy every day!


From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Grace172 Time : 2020-04-09 15:32:23 #3
Hello,Dear John. How have you been doing? Thank you for calling me back to see old friends. I have sumited my comment here the day before yesterday. Today I come back to see if other old friends had come, but didn't see any including my comment. I wish you and everyone all the best.
Anonymous26758
@Anonymous26758 Time : 2020-04-12 04:26:01 #4
我记得那个名字羊羊🌸 没搜出来抱抱,搜出来一朵花儿,你好吗?。。。是啊,你说五年。。。怎么感觉好像就在不久之前呢?刚刚还欢声笑语,突然就散场了。。。你还能@到那些姐妹,我的网络一直不太好,都很难再翻到之前的帖子了,真的好想念!还有我最喜欢的不喜欢狗狗的Jennifer. 曾经认识一个休斯敦的人,被邀请去那里,还想着Jennifer和她老公好像就在那里,不知道会不会遇见呢。还有善良可爱的Jerseyabc,不知道名字怎么写了,你的心脏手术怎么样?有宝宝了吗?现在好吗?
From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-04-12 13:27:19 #5

Hello @Grace172 - how wonderful it is to see your lovely, happy face staring back at us once again. Just seeing you has cheered me up a great deal from the depressing weight of being locked away during these troubled times.

I'm sorry for not getting your comment published last night but, to be honest, I got caught on my phone communicating with my children for several hours and failed to check the comments to see if any were there. I regret that a lot because I could have been happier 24 hours earlier if I had just taken the time to find your comment when I should have.

I took the time to do a Google translation of your comment and add it to your post. Forgive me and Google if the translation is not as good as it should be.

I have read your comment and that leads me to think of many questions but I am going to save them for tomorrow because I think I need to read it it again after sleeping on it. Then I will try to understand better all that you have said so my questions don't seem silly.

I notice that you gave @Anonymous1774 a name (Yangyang if Google got it right). I will be interested to know if your assumption is correct, but knowing you I am confident you are right.

More tomorrow Dear Grace. Welcome home to CLM.

From: Canada British Columbia Lavington @newbeginning Time : 2020-04-12 23:58:04 #6

Grace, nice to see you comment here on Anonymous1774's post!! It is good to read of your journey in the last few years. I hope if enough men and women members read your reply it will encourage them to continue in their search and not give up.

Many of the old time posters/bloggers here have either left or gone silent which is a sad thing. Lots of new members but very few forum or blog posts these days, which is the main reason I am still a member here. I especially miss the perspective of the Chinese women as it is invaluable insight to chinese/western cultural differences, views on life and relationships.

Take care, wish you and your husband a wonderful day!

 

NB

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-04-13 13:09:26 #7

Hi Grace. I am sorry but I am having computer issues today and being locked down in my home means I have to resolve them myself. I haven't succeeded in doing so yet, but I am getting close.

So I am commenting from my tablet which is a slow process. I have a bunch of questions for you arising from your comment but it is very difficult to try to get them all asked on this tablet typing one slow finger at a time.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have my computer behaving better and can get them to you then.

Cheers to you, John

From: Australia New South Wales Sydney @oldghost Time : 2020-04-15 18:15:39 #8


@JohnAbbot

Anonymous says: '那时大家叫我羊羊'  so of course yangyang it is

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-04-16 12:07:59 #9

@oldghost - thanks for pointing that out. I missed it entirely.

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-04-16 12:13:14 #10

@Grace172 - I am still fighting with my computer and where I am only food stores and pharmacies can remain open, so I cannot take it anywhere to get it repaired. However, if you indicate that you'll come back and answer them I will submit my list of questions from my tablet. Please give me a sign.

Cheers, John

From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Grace172 Time : 2020-04-16 13:53:43 #11
@JohnAbbot I am so happy to hear from you and know that you are doing good with your children. You are not only a good husband but a good father. And I appreciate your thoughtful of doing the Google translation for my comment. You do not need to say sorry for a little late public my comment. I just worried if my comment could reach to CLM as I used my mobile phone to submit it. I did not use computer for long time and I may forget the password. It should be me who say sorry that I did not write it in English.But I think you must forgive me since my English is going worse. Seems you and your family are safe from the coronavirus but your computer is not as lucky as you are. 😂 I called @Anonymous1774 Yang Yang that was because in her thread she mentioned that she was called羊羊Yang Yang during the old days in CLM. I don't remember 羊羊, but I remember there was a lady named 洋洋Yang Yang during that time. I am not sure if they are the same person.Anyway, I do appreciate her still remember me and I hope she will keep her confident in looking for her Mr Right. I also wish the old friends she mentioned are doing well and they will take time to come back to chat for a while. I do miss them. Well, You may ask me any question as you want. But I may not answer unless you answer this question first.🤭 Where are you now? Are you in China or Canada? I with you and your family doing well, and of course I thank you and your CLM so much gave me a chance to meet my husband. Best wishes.
From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Grace172 Time : 2020-04-16 14:28:34 #12
@newbeginning Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, the time goes fast, and life change. When I come back I found that many old friends have gone, so sad. To tell you the true, I was interested in having fun in reading the blogs and the forums here more than looking for a husband during that time. Haha I learned a lot from the people here. I hope the old friends will come back to tell us their stories and more and more new friends will join us. How about you tell us your story of your new beginning life if you like? Best wishes to you can your family too.
From: China 广东(guang dong) 广州(guang zhou ) @Grace172 Time : 2020-04-20 20:04:34 #13
@JohnAbbot How is your computer? Just let you know that I am still waiting for your list of questions. Please take your time.
Best wishes.
From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2020-04-21 05:56:45 #14

@Grace172 - I hope I have not delayed this so long that I can't remember the questions that popped into my head when I first read your comment here. I have hit an age where my memory is not quite what it used to be. (blush)

But first I will answer your question. My wife and I are primarily living in a small country in South America called Ecuador. It is a popular country for North Americans to retire to and while we have not retired life does seem easy here where we are. We live in a modest but very comfortable house on a large lot close to a good beach and within walking distance of anything we need. We have two big beautiful German Shepherd dogs and three lovely cats. My wife also has a good garden with many types of fruit and several vegetables. We also have chickens (but no ducks) who provide us with a nice supply of organic eggs.

Because of this large family it is not easy for us to travel out of country together. I travel back to the US and Canada occasionally and she recently returned to China for a 3 month visit. We didn't intend for this stay to be so long but seem to have settled in for the long term.

Now for my questions of you:

You say "Time is like a sword". That's a great phrase. I know it is part of an Islamic saying that goes something like "Time is like a sword. If you don't cut it, it cuts you!" Can you tell me if that is also an old Chinese saying? And what does it mean to you exactly when you used it here? 

You refer to your husband as "Uncle".  I don't recall ever hearing a Chinese woman refer to their spouse as "Uncle" but since I still don't speak or understand Chinese perhaps it has happened many times. For all I know my wife refers to me as Uncle when she is speaking to her friends in Chinese. So I am very curious. What does it mean to refer to your husband as "Uncle? Is it an affectionate nick name? Or does it imply something else?

Where are you living now? I assume in the US, but which City or State? Are you in a rural setting? Can you give us some details so we can form a picture?

Do you plan to live your life out in the US or do you hope to return to China to live someday?

Do you get back to visit China occasionally?

Do you get to visit with your daughter occasionally?

And now for the BIG QUESTION:

Why don't you come back and blog for us on CLM? We have not had a Chinese woman blogger for a long time now and I know the members would love it. Plus, you could blog in English too and that would be great practise for you.

I cannot think of anyone who would be a more interesting blogger than you. You were always one of the most interesting commenters on the blogs. Often your comments were more interesting and enlightening than the blog you were commenting on.

I look forward to your answers and I will understand if you don't wish to blog here but give it some thought.

Many cheers, John

 

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