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Anonymous1725

中外婚姻的差别

@Anonymous1725 Time : 2018-06-16 21:39:07

 

 

很久不来这里了,我和老公相识于CLM于四年前,结婚已经三年,老公总说有机会你应该写篇文章,表示对CML平台的感谢,是的,我们真心感谢这个平台,给我们提供了真实,平等的机会。虽然在国外已经生活三年,英文仍然不够好,平时在家里交流没问题,但想在西方国家找一份相对体面的工作,还是不那么容易,但想找一份普通的工作生活,应该是没有问题的。

还好,老公能负担我的生活,他也不介意我是否去工作。但是,你必须有自立的能力。所以你问我:中外婚姻有何差别?我觉得最重要的问题就是减少抱怨。众所周知,中国女人习惯于抱怨,抱怨老公不争气,不努力,不积极,这一点,对老外可千万不能这样,你要习惯与他enjoy life,可能因为体制的问题吧,老外很少考虑太多压力的问题,反正是富也乐,穷也乐。相反,和老外老公在一起,更能体会什么叫相濡以沫!下班,周末,节假日都和你在一起,绝不会有二心!简单生活,热爱运动,大概就是生活的主旋律吧。

所以,姐妹们加油吧,中外婚姻没有太大的不同,只要是以爱为基础,努力认真地生活,一定会越过越幸福。

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From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-19 09:48:25 #1

Using Google Translate and guesswork I think I can get a 90% understanding of this text but I would like more. Is anyone willing to translate this text?

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2018-06-20 13:37:27 #2

@melcyan - Since we recently vastly improved our onsite translator I think it is better than Google, so if you didn't try it please do. However, if someone is willing to translate it for you I am 100% in favor of that.

From: Australia Queensland Brisbane @Barry1 Time : 2018-06-20 16:18:59 #3


@anonymous1725

 

Very interesting, informative and nice words, thank you, Anonymous 1725.  (y)

Anonymous26291
@Anonymous26291 Time : 2018-06-21 15:35:24 #4

Hi, all !

 

    I would like to translate it into English for people want to understand what this thread said,but I must say that I am not certificated in any English test, such as College English Test Brand 4 or 6, I just keep learning it by my own, I may not translate it into English perfectly, and I will do my best. Please feel free to point out any mistakes if any, thanks! 

 

中外婚姻的差别

The difference from Chinese and Western Marriage

 

很久不来这里了,我和老公相识于CLM于四年前,结婚已经三年,老公总说有机会你应该写篇文章,表示对CML平台的感谢,是的,我们真心感谢这个平台,给我们提供了真实,平等的机会。

I have not been on CLM for long time, my husband and I met on CLM 4 years ago, we have been married for 3 years. My husband aways says" You should write someting to CLM for thankfulness." Indeed, we are truly thankful for CLM, which provided us a true and equal opportunity to meet each other.

 

虽然在国外已经生活三年,英文仍然不够好,平时在家里交流没问题,但想在西方国家找一份相对体面的工作,还是不那么容易,但想找一份普通的工作生活,应该是没有问题的。

Although I have lived in abroad for 3 years, my English is not good enough. We have no difficulties in speaking English at home, but it is uneasy if you want to have a decent job in western countries.

 

还好,老公能负担我的生活,他也不介意我是否去工作。但是,你必须有自立的能力。所以你问我:中外婚姻有何差别?我觉得最重要的问题就是减少抱怨。

It is okay,my husband is able to afford my living spending, he does not mind wheather I go to work or not. But you must have the ability to be independent. If you asked me what the difference between Chinese and Western Marriage is? I would think that the important key is to reduce complaints.

 

众所周知,中国女人习惯于抱怨,抱怨老公不争气,不努力,不积极,这一点,对老外可千万不能这样,你要习惯与他enjoy life,可能因为体制的问题吧,老外很少考虑太多压力的问题,反正是富也乐,穷也乐。

As we know, Chinese women are used to complaining, and complain their husbands are disappointing, not hard working or so, for this point, you'd better not treat your western husband with that way, you need to get used to enjoy life him. It might be the social system different from China and western countries, western people are laid back and don't pressure themself a lot, in all, they are always being happy whether rich or not.

 

相反,和老外老公在一起,更能体会什么叫相濡以沫!下班,周末,节假日都和你在一起,绝不会有二心!简单生活,热爱运动,大概就是生活的主旋律吧。

On the contrary, being with western husbands, you can experience well what "mutual help and relief in time of poverty" is !  They spend spare time、weekends and holidays with you, and never betray you. Living a simple life, enjoying exercise, which may be the theme of life!

 

所以,姐妹们加油吧,中外婚姻没有太大的不同,只要是以爱为基础,努力认真地生活,一定会越过越幸福。

So, sisters, keep going! There is not too much difference from Chinese and Western Marriage as long as everything bases on LOVE, fight for life together, life must be getting better and better.

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-22 19:09:30 #5

@Anonymous26291

A big thank you for the translation. I will use it to help make my comment after the weekend is finished.

Anonymous26295
@Anonymous26295 Time : 2018-06-24 05:36:44 #6

It's me, I'm back late,sorry ,recently  I have been busy.  Every weekend my  husband and i need to do lots of things, sometimes  we ride bicycles,sometimes we go to vineyard to taste different wine. We  try to make our life to be happy.

During  the week, my husband get up very early and go to work,before he leave home,he always kiss me and say "darling,I love you,have a good day !"  when I am still  in the bed for three years. It makes me very moved.  But I know Chinese husband never do that ! We  always talk to each other "  Life is so good ", really,life is good when you are full of love. 

And my husband treats my mum very well. My mum  often visits  us from China . Today is my mum's birthday, we are going to take my mum to have dinner  at restaurant for her 78 years old.

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2018-06-24 14:31:36 #7

@Anonymous1725 - we would really love to be able to post your Success Story.  If you would consider letting us do that please write to me at service@chinalovematch.net and let me know, and I'll get back to you with details.

Thanks, John Abbot

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-25 21:36:06 #8

@Anonymous1725

 

Congratulations on your successful marriage. I agree with your advice to Chinese women married to Western men. Don't be so pushy. Don't complain so much. My partner can be very pushy and demanding but not in a selfish way. She honestly believes that all of her words make my life better.

 

I sense that you have enjoyable moments with your partner every day. If a Chinese woman is too pushy (even if it is with the best of intentions) some of these special moments might be missed. Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Anonymous26298
@Anonymous26298 Time : 2018-06-27 00:14:02 #9

 pushy, demanding, habitual complaining are "selfish behaviours". Much more evident in Chinese women than others. Sage advice you have imparted to other Chinese women looking for a western man and live in the west. Westerns are not Chinese men and treating us like we are is wrong. You will only end up hurt and alone. Assimilation is easier than resistance when in a western/chinese marriage living in the west.

Anonymous26300
@Anonymous26300 Time : 2018-06-27 13:56:20 #10


@melcyan      Yes,Chinese  ladies really like to complain.  In my  previous marriage ,I used to  complain about my ex. Chinese men can understand and  tolerate  our  complaints, but western men can't stand complaints. Once, I blamed my husband "you don't love me!", then he got big fire,very angry!!!  Chinese and western cultures are really different, we need to learn.

If You  want simple and equal and interesting  life,you can look for a western guy .if you want rich,boring life,you can find a Chinese guy to be your husband.

 

 

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-27 17:43:08 #11

@Anonymous26298

My partner is pushy, demanding and the most unselfish person I have ever known.   She wants the very best for me, now and forever. This is a two-way relationship challenge.

 

The Chinese woman needs to be gentler with her push for a better life for her husband and family. The Western man needs to be aware that she is fully on his side as she delivers her pushy words.

 

As far as assimilation goes, your Chinese woman will never fully assimilate. If you are flexible your relationship can succeed. If you are an inflexible Western male you have no chance of success with a Chinese wife (or any wife).

From: Australia South Australia Adelaide @melcyan Time : 2018-06-27 18:07:43 #12

@Anonymous26300

"Chinese men can understand and  tolerate  our  complaints, but western men can't stand complaints." 

The difference is that Western men take the complaints personally. When you say to your husband "You don't love me" your partner thinks that you are suggesting the relationship is over. Every time you husband does or says something that makes you feel loved then you need to let him know. Positive words achieve so much more than negative words.

Anonymous26304
@Anonymous26304 Time : 2018-06-28 00:15:27 #13

@anon26300, you say "If You  want simple and equal and interesting  life,you can look for a western guy .if you want rich,boring life,you can find a Chinese guy to be your husband"

I would suggest you mention a better sex life(much bigger penis, wants to satisfy his woman), equality, kindness, warmth, affection, fun, happiness, dedication to his wife and spontaneity. You get this with most Western men and very, very few if any Chinese men can offer this in a marriage.

Let me see, money or love, which would you choose?

P.S. there alot of rich western men also

From: China 浙江(zhe jiang) 杭州(hang zhou ) @JohnAbbot Time : 2018-06-29 10:16:31 #14

@Anonymous26304 vs @Anonymous26300

Sorry anon26304, but I like anon26300's simpler version more. It is a generalization that can hold up to scrutiny. All those specifics you tossed in make it much less likely to be broadly true.

I especially doubt the veracity of your claim about "very few, if any, Chinese men". I know plenty of Chinese men that are good husbands to their wives in most, if not all, of the ways you specify. It may not be the majority, and it may be that more Western men than Chinese men offer those traits, but that isn't the same as almost no Chinese men offer them.

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