Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
1145 Views | 7 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/6/2016 1:03:14 PM

Not too long ago we received a letter from a “member” of CLM complaining about behavior of his Chinese “wife”, also a member, while they were in the process of obtaining a visa for her to move to the USA to live with him. I admit that I might have had some sympathy for this person had his approach been different, but the approach basically set me off. I am interested in readers’ thoughts on how you might have handled the situation differently. Thanks for any comments. Read more…

1440 Views | 9 Comments | 0 Articles | 8/28/2016 8:02:20 PM

Janessa and I had arrived in Yangchun, her hometown, by bus, at around ten in the evening. We walked the short distance from the bus terminal to the hotel. As soon as we checked in, Janessa's phone began to ring. Read more…

1107 Views | 8 Comments | 3 Articles | 5/16/2016 12:24:23 AM

I once interviewed a Chinese poet who made an interesting, probably inaccurate, but ultimately insightful claim about intercultural relationships.  Asked why the number of Chinese men who dated western women was relatively small compared to the number of Chinese women who dated western men, he replied in one word: breakfast.  Chinese men had a clear idea of what they wanted for the first meal of the day (and for every other meal as well) and were not interested in the compromise, negotiation, or god forbid change, in dietary habits that a relationship with a western woman would entail. While we in the West obsess about appearances or fret about emotional compatibility, the Chinese mind, as is its nature, focuses on a practical, earthy, and ultimately much more relevant issue. Looks fade and disagreements are inevitable; but meals are forever, a permanent part of the marriage landscape. Read more…

1167 Views | 6 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/16/2016 3:07:35 PM

Noi means “little one” in Thai. Noi and I had been chatting for nearly two months before I flew to Thailand to start the beginnings of my new life. She definitely appeared to be the “little one.” In the weeks before I flew to Thailand for the first time I kept going back to her profile on the Asian dating site. It was a site that specialized in matching western men with Thai women. I kept gazing at her kind smile and reading her bio. At 5’1” she was one whole inch smaller than my mother, and my Mom was tiny! My mother would often look at my 6’1” adult frame and comment along the lines of “how the hell did I give birth to you!”  Read more…

1985 Views | 8 Comments | 3 Articles | 12/1/2015 7:59:39 PM

I've been wondering, for a while now, about who's going to write an article about the perils lurking in the west or, in fact, in the entire world. There are a great number of people who are willing to follow their dreams and start new lives in a foreign country. So, this is my motivation for thinking that people, including Chinese and Asian ladies, should know a few things about their desired countries and the perils of the world. Read more…

1881 Views | 8 Comments | 0 Articles | 11/27/2015 4:01:06 AM

Steam rose from the cups, floating slowly in the air, certainly not making my room warmer but surely making it look comfier. After I had set them down on the table, Kristy picked one of them up, drew her knees up into my oversized hoody that she had put on after we both had realized she was freezing because of the dank towel and nestled herself cozily into her chair. She looked like she was ready to watch a movie. The only thing that seemed to be missing was a bucket of popcorn–preferably with butter, (I guessed)–for her utter and complete comfort. Read more…

1442 Views | 7 Comments | 0 Articles | 11/21/2015 12:51:45 PM

And there she was, coming through the door and closing it quietly after she had taken a shower. The big towel was wrapped tightly around her body–her clothes were still in the dryer, spinning in the hot air, just like my thoughts spun in my overheated head, quickly and urgently and in need of a cool-down cycle. I sat in a chair in my dry clothes and added to my attire a guitar, setting on my lap as protection (a cooling system) between me and her hot body. Read more…

1929 Views | 16 Comments | 0 Articles | 11/13/2015 10:41:56 AM

There was a short interval of nervous silence after Kristy had sat down. Neither of us knew what to say or how to start. It was as if we were back in kindergarten where if a boy liked a girl, instead of saying something nice to her–even a simple “hi” would've done the job at that age–he just pulled her pigtails and ran away with a nervous laugh. Well, Kristy didn't have pigtails to pull, so I didn't run away; I just smiled at her nervously and asked, “Do you remember me?” Read more…

1651 Views | 7 Comments | 0 Articles | 8/29/2015 8:08:39 PM

I arrived at the airport early, my mind a jumble of conflicting emotions. Excited, yes, about the possibility of a relationship with the Chinese woman I was going to meet; nervous, of course, about how we would get along, what we would talk about, what the weather would be like on our camping trip. But the dominant emotion was dread—the dread that comes from anticipating a confrontation with the unknown, the outcome of which is both significant and uncontrollable. Within a nanosecond of meeting face to face—before the words “how was your flight?” would leave my lips—I would know whether this relationship had a future. Read more…

1352 Views | 1 Comments | 0 Articles | 7/27/2015 2:04:38 PM

    The week leading up to Marika's birthday was long and stiflingly hot. No one believed me in my family when I told them how hot the weather was in Toronto. For a few weeks, around July and August in every year, the mercury hit 35 and didn't go under 30, even at night time. People, especially elderly people, sought refuge in shopping malls if they didn't have air conditioners at home. Young people went to the beach for a dip (or two) and tried to enjoy their youth under the blazing sun. Read more…

5393 Views | 20 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/25/2015 5:23:40 PM

There’s been lots of talk here recently about ‘right and wrong’ when it comes to certain traditions and cultural issues. Barry has come under fire for his Day 22 part 2 blog and my Forum thread “What kind of man do you want to marry - another viewpoint’ has also received some interesting comments. Sometimes when there’s a difference in opinions, values, traditions and cultures, it’s easy for us to try and reinforce our own - but in reality there is no ‘right and wrong’ - it just ‘is’. Read more…

3916 Views | 14 Comments | 2 Articles | 8/31/2014 11:30:13 AM

This should be a good topic for discussion on the CLM forum; but here are my thoughts on it. Does it mean being the partner that makes all the decisions? Does it mean always having the final say? Does it mean showing he is in charge, any way he can? Read more…

5727 Views | 8 Comments | 0 Articles | 9/1/2014 3:48:41 PM

The subject of Feminism has reared its (fast becoming) ugly head in the blogs these days.  The discussion, initiated by Peter and followed up on by Achelle, centered on the suggestion that Feminism has evolved over time from a well justified and socially necessary movement for the securing of equality with men for woman, into more of a women’s hate-fest of men and a grab for entitlement and privilege by a minority (but not a small one) of feminists, who have commandeered the original movement for their own purposes. Read more…

4087 Views | 12 Comments | 4 Articles | 8/22/2014 8:32:38 AM

Speaking from personal experience, it does seem to be one of the harshest realities of life that most men are nothing more than overgrown kids that need continued mothering.  There are, of course, exceptions and it would be safe to say that these exceptions had amazing mothers.  I do not mean to disparage the men on CLM.  My point is not to ridicule men; it is merely to attempt to explore if, in relationships, the woman does make the man. Read more…

2516 Views | 10 Comments | 2 Articles | 8/22/2014 2:48:27 AM

Although there are numerous reasons Western men provide for explaining why they join international online dating sites like China Love Match, one that is frequently mentioned is feminism. Now it seems that Western men are not the only ones who have a problem with feminism.  A tumblr account "Women Against Feminism" has sparked quite a bit of controversy by portraying women holding up signs detailing their reasons for being opposed to feminism.  Here are some of what the signs are saying. Read more…

2421 Views | 5 Comments | 1 Articles | 7/31/2014 9:04:09 AM

The book came out and all my female friends and acquaintances couldn’t shut up about Christian Grey.  I am a genuine LOVER of books and I will read any genre as long as the story is well-written and the plot interests me.  With that being said, I must also admit that I also have a tendency to be highbrowed when choosing books that I can truly lose myself in. I found myself wondering, is this book series appealing to all women, and more specifically, is it captivating Chinese and other Asian women the way it is captivating Western women? Read more…

4690 Views | 19 Comments | 0 Articles | 8/1/2014 1:02:49 PM

Everyday I checked the site for her story. I loved it! Her style of writing reminded me of one of my favourite writers.  I decided to write her a message. I told her how much I loved her blog and the way of her writing style. I also thanked her for letting us members, especially male members to learn about Chinese women by her experience. Read more…

2195 Views | 7 Comments | 7 Articles | 5/25/2014 12:45:23 PM

Silence is the reason why I'm here. Time seems to go slower here. I love this feeling when I can hear my own heart beating and can be myself, no one's watching. I feel that I'm closer to something . . . something that I can't comprehend. This feeling that surrounds me every time I'm here is like when I was at my Mother's home and felt unconditional love. I am closer to home here than anywhere else and I'm accepted for who I am and part of a bigger picture. Read more…

6920 Views | 24 Comments | 0 Articles | 2/9/2014 11:12:39 AM

Relationships with Asian women tend to follow what are referred to as traditional gender patterns, with the women assuming a more passive role and men a more active one. By contrast, in Western dating things tend to be more egalitarian, with men and women sharing chores, responsibilities and roles. Indeed, a criticism one not infrequently hears from Western women about Western male-Asian female relationships is that they perpetuate stereotypical roles. According to a recent study, however, it is Asian women are getting the last laugh—and more sex. Read more…

10332 Views | 42 Comments | 1 Articles | 11/11/2013 3:37:31 PM

“For every glimmer of light, somewhere there’s a corresponding shadow of darkness.” As a forewarning, if you have delicate sensibilities or are easily upset, please read no further.  My last blog posting was somewhat satirical, but this one is serious. One of the enduring impressions unfortunately emblazoned into my mind on one of my China trips was when visiting a temple on the outskirts of Hangzhou. Read more…

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