"Deceptive and deceiving, the human mind

feigns forgiveness and outward love

Maleficence reigning supreme inside

humanity condemned, woe betide" Read more…

Visiting China always cracks something open inside me. If I want to describe this thing, I close my eyes, and it will appear as a hotel room that has just been put back into operation after being unused for a long while. Its door and windows are wide open to air the place out. Furniture is dusted off, floors swept. After the final once-over, the room is ready to do the only thing it's supposed to do: accommodate fresh memories. Read more…

The day of the marriage arrived. It had all been arranged by Noi and Som, her sister. I drove Noi and Som to the small town near to where their father lived. First, we all three of us ate breakfast then the girls left me in the restaurant. They walked around the corner to the store that sold silk wedding dresses then the beauty salon.  I had about two hours to kill. That was made easier by the presence of a bunch of bikers in the restaurant. Read more…

As I was saying in the last instalment, one more important aspect of Asian wedding traditions, or in Thailand in any event, is sin sod. Noi had quietly mentioned the subject of sin sod to me before our village wedding. I decided to play dumb and pretend I had never heard of it before. I had. It was a topic I came across while researching the different Asian cultures. I feigned ignorance because I wanted to know what Noi had to say about it. Read more…

The more I read about the Chiang Mai company, the better it got. It was owned and operated by an American guy. I know that in itself did not prevent being ripped off but there was something reassuring about dealing with him. I did not relish spending money on a car with a Thai dealership. That isn’t a racist sentiment. It is a fact. There are too many cross cultural issues and the language barrier in dealing with Thai businesses.  Besides, I was looking for a used vehicle. If it had been otherwise, then I would have trusted the Thai main dealerships to buy a new car. Warranties are warranties, right? Read more…

Nelson Mandela apparently said words to the effect of - 'There's nothing like going back to a place that's never changed in order to realise how much you have altered' Read more…

The rest of the remaining month soon passed. Why do happy times seem fleeting? Yet, bad times seem to linger. I had to make plans to leave the villa in Kanchanaburi. Noi and I both knew the time was fast approaching for me to fly back to England. She understood the reasons why I had to leave. I assured her I would return as quickly as possible. Certainly, once I had attended to outstanding business back there. Read more…

So Yong wanted flowers. Usually this is one of her easier requests of her life in the West to fulfill. Certainly much easier than her request for “real” Chinese food, which requires a seventy-mile trip to Chicago’s Chinatown. Read more…

The remainder of the day took in all the sights of the southern end of Phuket island. Che drove us to the Big Buddha, Wat Chalong and Rawai Beach. It was a pleasant and memorable day out. The only drawback was that it was difficult to talk to Noi one on one when surrounded by her friends and the kids. I guess this was a part of Asian dating culture. She appeared to be happy so that made me happy too. Read more…

There are some, many or numerous foreigners who often make an interesting comment about Chinese people and their social behavior or thinking .  I have heard (and in the beginning years of living with Chinese I also used the same comment ... ) -- Chinese have no logic!!  In other words, these foreigners assert that Chinese social behavior is devoid of rational logical thinking ... So, I am going to write more than enough blog posts to consider this assumption .   Read more…

I recently told a really good Chinese friend of mine ..  maybe one of the myriad of reasons for the misunderstandings between Chinese and Westerners belong to Ethnocentric social behavior on both sides of the proverbial fence.   Read more…

I have received enough suggestions ... I write too much and too long and with too much fluff....  Hopefully this is better .. Read more…

Recently, I noticed a new member into a Wechat group asking for help ...  She complained about Chinese doctors (actually most likely complained about one Chinese doctor).  This situation has polarized both Chinese and foreigners.  Both sides screaming at each other more or less about the "dirty" things they experience from each other. In my thinking it is very easy to "dig up" enough "dirt" on either side .  Instead, I usually ignore such incidents.   Read more…

What is culture?  What is "face"?  Is it relevant for intercultural communication?  With Globalization making the World seemingly smaller and smaller is there any differences between Cultures now?  The notions of face and self-image are considered universal characteristics, and yet they are conceptualized differently from one culture to another, depending on the underlying cultural values and beliefs. What do you consider to be a major aspect of the intercultural communication between you and Chinese?  Do you believe Chinese are inscrutable?  Do Chinese believe Westerners are "too open"?  People and things are increasingly out of place’especially due to easier travel from many countries to China and vice versa. But at the same time, we are discovering that the most heavily policed frontiers are not physical but linguistic and cultural. Read more…

This blog post I wrote ... before John accepted me to write a blog.  Actually after reading more blogs and comments I wish to revise and edit this lengthy rambling blog post.  I am worried and concerned that many Chinese members can not easily understand it .  However, I feel frustrated with how some foreigners seem to have a habit of complaining about living in China.  So I will share this ... hopefully those who view and read this blog post will understand -- this was my way to deal with my frustration with those who have complain about living in China.  Thank you for your patience and consideration.   Read more…

My first blog will be my first experience in Taiwan ... and my goals for blogging will be .. Read more…

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We had a fuzzy end to the year as a few of the bloggers (myself included) went to war. And a few members chipped in. Luckily sanity prevailed and everything settled on a good note. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise as it maybe reminded us in the end that there are many things more important for us to spend our time and efforts on than whether or not a blogger’s choice of topics or writing style suits us. All the people who contributed to those few days of folly are good people with good intentions, so it shows how easily we can lose our common sense and do silly things or fail to do the right thing as a result. Read more…

“Barry, I love you.”  Tina whispered gently into my ear. “Please never doubt this.”    Read more…

I have been in the States for almost two months now as a visiting scholar; there is nothing relevant I could share with you guys until I attended a special lecture on sex and relationship education for women. Now I would like to share with you some of it and what do I feel about it: Read more…