Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
636 Views | 10 Comments | 3 Articles | 5/9/2019 3:03:55 PM

Jenny and I sat at the lunch table in the refectory area of the university in China where I worked as an English teacher. Our conversation together was rather stilted, as neither of us understood the other person’s language. But we did a lot of grinning and gesticulating, that seemed to have the desired effect. Two pairs of impassioned eyes meeting, staring poignantly into eachother's soul, are arguably all that's needed for the most indepth conversation of all time. I sensed there was something special about this enigmatic lady. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, even as the hairs on my arms bristled.  Where would it lead? Read more…

267 Views | 4 Comments | 3 Articles | 3/22/2019 8:30:07 PM

My very first bus-trip in China was the ghastly trip from Ningbo to Huangshan that I mentioned in my previous blog - tedious, boring, exceedingly uncomfortable and otherwise to be forgotten, although Huangshan itself was indeed memorable.  We must have been married by then because no-one objected to us staying together in a twin room!  The marriage, the hospital inspection, the civil ceremony and celebration is another story for another time. Read more…

985 Views | 28 Comments | 0 Articles | 2/22/2019 1:46:30 PM

Decluttering is all about love. Great love is all about presence. Being present is a 24 hour a day activity. Read more…

411 Views | 4 Comments | 0 Articles | 2/9/2019 1:03:07 AM

This article is a follow up on the previous blogpost. If you haven’t read the previous article, don’t worry. I’ll summarize. For an English class, my wife, Yong, had the assignment to take a survey from a book “Five Love Languages” (5 lovelanguages.com). The premise of the book is that there are five basic ways couples communicate with each other. These five ways are: (1) Acts of service; (2) Quality Time; (3) Physical touch; (4) Giving Gifts; (5) Words of affirmation. A happy relationship is premised on knowing your partner’s main communication styles and working with them. Read more…

575 Views | 9 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/30/2018 12:45:08 AM

Mike Royko, the classic curmudgeon and commentator of human foibles writing for the Chicago Sun Times, was one of my favorite columnists. In response to a famous survey that found women would rather snuggle than have sex with their partners, Royko commissioned one of his own studies, polling his readers about whether they would rather go bowling with their buddies or have sex with their wives. Sex won, but Royko was on to a larger point that would later be validated by John Gray in his classic, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: Men and women communicate affection in different ways. In particular, men bond by doing and women by talking. Read more…

961 Views | 7 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/19/2015 2:50:07 PM

~~It seems like a lifetime since I wrote my series of blogs on the different types of women that you are likely to meet on CLM. Read more…

893 Views | 17 Comments | 4 Articles | 5/28/2018 11:24:13 AM

We all live two lives. The second one starts when we at last fully realise that the first one has an absolute ending that isn't so far away after all. Only then do we both consciously as well as subconsciously commit to more comprehensively cherish each moment, more fulsomely embrace each opportunity, more so than ever before in this, our second life. One where grace, peace, tolerance and wisdom finally reign supreme over narcissism, aggression, impatience and immaturity. The arrogance and ignorance of youth dissipates as one gradually grows to understand that it's so much better to have lead a rich, meaningful life rather than die an abject, meaningless death. Read more…

4583 Views | 183 Comments | 3 Articles | 6/14/2018 12:24:48 PM

Anger within me, camouflaged so well Read more…

3424 Views | 70 Comments | 3 Articles | 5/18/2018 11:49:49 AM

"Dark recesses within the mind of maleficent man Read more…

901 Views | 10 Comments | 0 Articles | 1/21/2018 11:00:55 PM

I started this series by describing an incident that occurred while Yong and I were travelling in which she uttered a statement about the superiority of Chinese culture that seemed dubious to say the least in light of the historical record. Rather than confront the situation with reason and logic (which in my experience are of limited value in any relationship), I suggested that the Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS) is a more useful tool to bring to an intercultural relationship.  According to the DMIS, there are six levels at which we can relate to a culture other than our own:  Denial, Defense, Minimization, Acceptance, Adaptation, and Integration. As we progress through the various levels, we come to realize the filter through which we inevitably view other cultures, abandon the ethnocentric belief in the superiority of our own culture and ultimately adopt an ethnorelative stance that grounds itself not in critical judgment but in clear-eyed understanding. Read more…

1094 Views | 6 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/23/2017 6:31:39 AM

"On These Pages Awaits Your Perfect Match".  Those words appeared at the top of every page whenever you use the browse feature on CLM.  I have to admit that the first time I encountered them I was more than just a little skeptical.  I simply dismissed them as little more than advertising copy.  But within perhaps ten to fifteen minutes I found those words rather unexpectedly validated.  My first action upon joining CLM was to perform a search for women between the ages of 21 and 45.  Within the very first page of search results, I found her, the woman who has ever come closest to matching the profile of my ideal match. Read more…

1815 Views | 19 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/9/2017 6:11:47 AM

            The subject for my second blog entry will be, as the title suggests, the criteria for my ideal match, why I chose them and why Chinese women.  While this will certainly provide the members of CLM with a great deal of insight into myself, I'm not at all certain just how generally applicable those insights will be to the typical American as I have never regarded myself as typical in any respect.  I'm just arrogant enough to believe that this subject will be interesting to at least some of my readers. Read more…

2831 Views | 33 Comments | 5 Articles | 3/17/2017 7:46:13 AM

On the surface, life in China seems to throw up very few 'social issues' when compared to life in the West. You don't see graffiti; no hooligans pissing up the side of cars at closing-time; no-one throwing rocks through plate-glass windows just because they are drunk and think it's a good idea; few people get attacked because of their race, colour or creed; and there is no cancerous PC. Read more…

5150 Views | 42 Comments | 5 Articles | 7/15/2017 12:24:47 PM

This series unapologetically delves into the depths of the traumatic breakup with my former partner Lily and its immediate aftermath, including what happened in the fraught days and weeks following the separation. Writing it is providing a much needed catharsis, releasing me from many negative emotions associated with the galling break up. Read more…

2312 Views | 27 Comments | 1 Articles | 7/2/2017 2:12:31 PM

This story continues from the last article.  It describes the day after I’d been unceremoniously kicked to the kerb by my last girlfriend, Lily. One of the less joyous times of my life. One that even to this day, is etched painfully into my memory. It's easy to say "Well, as one door closes, another one opens". Read more…

2306 Views | 24 Comments | 4 Articles | 6/14/2017 3:47:18 PM

"To see a world in a grain of sand, And heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour"  Read more…

2499 Views | 36 Comments | 0 Articles | 5/19/2017 9:08:49 PM

Nelson Mandela apparently said words to the effect of - 'There's nothing like going back to a place that's never changed in order to realise how much you have altered' Read more…

1544 Views | 9 Comments | 1 Articles | 3/23/2017 10:40:47 PM

Chinese customs seem to be going through a cultural change due to the huge generation gap between people who grew up in rural communities and their children who crave smartphones and other things their parents could never afford. Read more…

1015 Views | 6 Comments | 0 Articles | 4/28/2017 1:03:14 PM

The small shop was full of flowers every kind, in colors one could have never imagined of existing. Daffodils, tulips, lilies, gladiolas, carnations, orchids, and, of course, most people's favorite, roses were everywhere, on the floors, in fridges, on the walls, and in buckets. There was barely room for the customers to walk around. The flowers' scents filled up your nose with such a freshness that you could easily imagine standing in a meadow somewhere in the Alps, breathing in the essence of the virgin Earth. Read more…

1231 Views | 10 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/7/2017 5:56:18 AM

Spring Festival in China is a tradition that involves the biggest human migration in the world. People from all over China head home to visit their family. Many of those young people who are still single are filled with dread, instead of excitement, at seeing their family again. They must face the wrath of their parents and grandparents for not being married. Read more…

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