Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
2355 Views | 179 Comments | 3 Articles | 6/14/2018 12:24:48 PM

Anger within me, camouflaged so well Read more…

1743 Views | 68 Comments | 3 Articles | 5/18/2018 11:49:49 AM

"Dark recesses within the mind of maleficent man Read more…

634 Views | 10 Comments | 0 Articles | 1/21/2018 11:00:55 PM

I started this series by describing an incident that occurred while Yong and I were travelling in which she uttered a statement about the superiority of Chinese culture that seemed dubious to say the least in light of the historical record. Rather than confront the situation with reason and logic (which in my experience are of limited value in any relationship), I suggested that the Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS) is a more useful tool to bring to an intercultural relationship.  According to the DMIS, there are six levels at which we can relate to a culture other than our own:  Denial, Defense, Minimization, Acceptance, Adaptation, and Integration. As we progress through the various levels, we come to realize the filter through which we inevitably view other cultures, abandon the ethnocentric belief in the superiority of our own culture and ultimately adopt an ethnorelative stance that grounds itself not in critical judgment but in clear-eyed understanding. Read more…

762 Views | 6 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/23/2017 6:31:39 AM

"On These Pages Awaits Your Perfect Match".  Those words appeared at the top of every page whenever you use the browse feature on CLM.  I have to admit that the first time I encountered them I was more than just a little skeptical.  I simply dismissed them as little more than advertising copy.  But within perhaps ten to fifteen minutes I found those words rather unexpectedly validated.  My first action upon joining CLM was to perform a search for women between the ages of 21 and 45.  Within the very first page of search results, I found her, the woman who has ever come closest to matching the profile of my ideal match. Read more…

1209 Views | 19 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/9/2017 6:11:47 AM

            The subject for my second blog entry will be, as the title suggests, the criteria for my ideal match, why I chose them and why Chinese women.  While this will certainly provide the members of CLM with a great deal of insight into myself, I'm not at all certain just how generally applicable those insights will be to the typical American as I have never regarded myself as typical in any respect.  I'm just arrogant enough to believe that this subject will be interesting to at least some of my readers. Read more…

1998 Views | 33 Comments | 5 Articles | 3/17/2017 7:46:13 AM

On the surface, life in China seems to throw up very few 'social issues' when compared to life in the West. You don't see graffiti; no hooligans pissing up the side of cars at closing-time; no-one throwing rocks through plate-glass windows just because they are drunk and think it's a good idea; few people get attacked because of their race, colour or creed; and there is no cancerous PC. Read more…

3885 Views | 42 Comments | 5 Articles | 7/15/2017 12:24:47 PM

This series unapologetically delves into the depths of the traumatic breakup with my former partner Lily and its immediate aftermath, including what happened in the fraught days and weeks following the separation. Writing it is providing a much needed catharsis, releasing me from many negative emotions associated with the galling break up. Read more…

1652 Views | 27 Comments | 1 Articles | 7/2/2017 2:12:31 PM

This story continues from the last article.  It describes the day after I’d been unceremoniously kicked to the kerb by my last girlfriend, Lily. One of the less joyous times of my life. One that even to this day, is etched painfully into my memory. It's easy to say "Well, as one door closes, another one opens". Read more…

1700 Views | 24 Comments | 4 Articles | 6/14/2017 3:47:18 PM

"To see a world in a grain of sand, And heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand, And eternity in an hour"  Read more…

1375 Views | 2 Comments | 0 Articles | 5/19/2017 9:08:49 PM

Nelson Mandela apparently said words to the effect of - 'There's nothing like going back to a place that's never changed in order to realise how much you have altered' Read more…

1181 Views | 9 Comments | 1 Articles | 3/23/2017 10:40:47 PM

Chinese customs seem to be going through a cultural change due to the huge generation gap between people who grew up in rural communities and their children who crave smartphones and other things their parents could never afford. Read more…

805 Views | 6 Comments | 0 Articles | 4/28/2017 1:03:14 PM

The small shop was full of flowers every kind, in colors one could have never imagined of existing. Daffodils, tulips, lilies, gladiolas, carnations, orchids, and, of course, most people's favorite, roses were everywhere, on the floors, in fridges, on the walls, and in buckets. There was barely room for the customers to walk around. The flowers' scents filled up your nose with such a freshness that you could easily imagine standing in a meadow somewhere in the Alps, breathing in the essence of the virgin Earth. Read more…

923 Views | 10 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/7/2017 5:56:18 AM

Spring Festival in China is a tradition that involves the biggest human migration in the world. People from all over China head home to visit their family. Many of those young people who are still single are filled with dread, instead of excitement, at seeing their family again. They must face the wrath of their parents and grandparents for not being married. Read more…

5028 Views | 78 Comments | 3 Articles | 3/19/2017 12:29:42 PM

For those new to my blogs, this article is a continuation of the story that can be seen in the link below.  For the sake of continuity, it might pay newcomers to read the previous blog, before starting on this current one. Read more…

1818 Views | 18 Comments | 0 Articles | 10/25/2016 11:03:08 PM

For a Western man interested in Chinese dating, his becoming a member of CLM is as welcomed by many Chinese women as a portion of fried chicken is by the poorest people of Africa. Read more…

2089 Views | 8 Comments | 0 Articles | 11/6/2016 2:19:28 AM

So, you are contemplating dating a Chinese woman. Yes, it’s true that finding a Chinese woman of your dreams is more or less the same as finding a woman from any part of the world. However, the difference in culture might complicate matters for you just a little bit. To increase your chances of finding and dating the right Chinese woman, you should learn more about the Chinese culture and learn more about their differences. In that way, you will be able to go about your search with ease and confidence. Read more…

2375 Views | 11 Comments | 0 Articles | 9/9/2016 12:19:30 AM

We recently received two messages from a new member with the username of ORGASMDONOR. Yes, he wrote that name in CAPS and he got away with that username because the Chinese employee who approved it didn't get what it meant. You be the judge as to whether our reaction was appropriate coming from a Chinese dating site intended for Chinese women and Western men seeking life partners and/or marriage. Read more…

1235 Views | 4 Comments | 0 Articles | 5/31/2016 6:52:17 PM

The following article is based (mostly) on something I read online in the New York Times titled "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person" by ALAIN de BOTTON. It was so pertinent to dating, including Chinese dating, that I had to share it with you..... Read more…

2428 Views | 15 Comments | 0 Articles | 8/29/2016 11:46:00 PM
We recently received a message from a member of CLM asking about the number of Chinese women on CLM, why he is not getting much interest and why there don't seem to be many young Chinese women here. I have posted it below along with my response. I thought the discussion might be of interest to the men as a whole, and I am also interested in receiving member's thoughts on the subject too. Read more…
1129 Views | 8 Comments | 3 Articles | 5/16/2016 12:24:23 AM

I once interviewed a Chinese poet who made an interesting, probably inaccurate, but ultimately insightful claim about intercultural relationships.  Asked why the number of Chinese men who dated western women was relatively small compared to the number of Chinese women who dated western men, he replied in one word: breakfast.  Chinese men had a clear idea of what they wanted for the first meal of the day (and for every other meal as well) and were not interested in the compromise, negotiation, or god forbid change, in dietary habits that a relationship with a western woman would entail. While we in the West obsess about appearances or fret about emotional compatibility, the Chinese mind, as is its nature, focuses on a practical, earthy, and ultimately much more relevant issue. Looks fade and disagreements are inevitable; but meals are forever, a permanent part of the marriage landscape. Read more…

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