“Beautiful” —the word elbows my tired mind with force. It feels like a horseman spurring his exhausted mare to get going. It's useless. After a restless night, my mind cannot understand the scene at all: a hairy forearm, white skin, obviously mine, cuddling a female torso. The lower part of the female body is cut off from view by the bed sheet at the waist, right where it curves and becomes the hip. The legs are invisible, mere bumps under the cover. What I'm seeing is a strange, distant image, as if looking through a telescope and watching someone peacefully sleeping in a sandstorm. I rub my eyes to get all the sand, dirt, and grit out. Almost immediately, I start to see clearly. The sandstorm has petered out, and I realize that my wife is sleeping in my arms. Read more…

This is half a chapter from a story that a brilliant Chinese woman and I wrote. It's a love story between a white man and a Chinese woman. However, it's just too long to post it on CLM. Something 80,000 words. The Chinese version is going to be available to read on a Chinese website when the translation is done. Read more…

The two cars that interested me were both double cab pick up trucks. One an Isuzu D Max and the other a Nissan Navarra. Noi was right, today was my turn to go shopping - for wheels. Read more…

“A time machine?” The Rajah shook his head. “Not quite… I think of it more as a Peeping Time Machine.  It shows the future, but only the kinky parts. It was created through quantum perversion physics. You know, the mathematics that developed after America outlawed heterosexuality as being a sick misunderstanding of the true dynamics between men and women.  Dr. Bobbit conclusively proved - via voting on social media - that the male organ has been created by evolution so that women have something to chop off when they get angry.” Read more…

You can play Presidential Campaign 2016 as one of two characters. Either Preacher Hillary or as the Trumpanzee. Read more…

The first few days in Thailand were perfect. I loved everything about it. The weather, the beaches, the food and Noi. Every day was an easy day just relaxing, eating in restaurants and a few beers in a bar. I was mindful that this was a holiday feeling. I was determined not to be seduced by the vacation atmosphere. There are no responsibilities when on vacation and dating a new, beautiful Asian woman. The hard yards come later when there are decisions to be made about serious matters such as accommodation, location and in our case - what to do about Kamon, Noi’s niece. Those things could wait. I was still in holiday mode. Read more…

I had time to kill at the airport in Bangkok waiting to connect to my short internal flight to Phuket. I parked my backside on one of those ubiquitous grey honeycombed airport metal benches - they are not built for comfort! There was ample time to change the SIM card in my phone and call Noi. I was nervous as I had never spoken to her before; only communicated by email for the past two months. On dialing her number, the ring tone sounded for a few seconds and my heart was beating faster. What am I doing here? I’m thousands of miles away from home, Britain, and in a strange land. It was my first taste of Asia travel. A slight panic rose in my chest. Read more…

Writing is something that I came to love. It gives me a route to escape, forget, and heal, all at the same time. I had come up with the story Autumn in Guilin during last year's Mid-Autumn Festival. Janessa (my current girlfriend) always wanted to travel to Guilin, so we went, and this is a story about that. Read more…

   The alarm clock tried very hard to get my attention. It was only 5:30 in the morning and my eyelids had opened halfway a few times already before they shut tightly again under the weight of my weariness. They were still shut when I hit the button on the top of my old alarm clock a few seconds later. Everything went quiet. Only the barely audible tick-tocking and my tired groans interrupted the silence as I sat up on my bed. Abruptly, a shiver shook me and said good morning as the cold air in the room gripped my naked ankles and coated my entire body with goosebumps. I felt tempted to climb back under the sheets and forget about the whole day of work ahead of me. But it was only a teasing thought of my half-asleep brain when the sheets exhaled a last puff of warm whiff onto my backside before they lost the battle to the cold and kicked me out of bed. Read more…

Bangkok!  It’s only right that the greatest city in the world be cheap, heartless, and drowning.  Also sleazy, degenerate, edible, and beautiful; like the scales of a wet fish in the sun are beautiful... Read more…

“You ask, what keeps me from going mad?”  The Rajah stuck a match across his zipper. In the sudden light I could see he’d soon be prowling the Pattaya streets in search of a date. “You ask, what keeps me from going mad in this endless, ghostly, dark night of a Universe? This unholy lost pirate ship of a Universe…” Read more…