Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
1240 Views | 98 Comments | 3 Articles | 6/14/2018 12:24:48 PM

Anger within me, camouflaged so well Read more…

535 Views | 26 Comments | 4 Articles | 5/24/2018 10:39:02 AM

"Deceptive and deceiving, the human mind

feigns forgiveness and outward love

Maleficence reigning supreme inside

humanity condemned, woe betide" Read more…

743 Views | 34 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/31/2018 6:02:04 AM

            You know, the whole "Oh my God, you won't ever get a date with those profile pictures" would have carried a great deal more weight were it not for the fact that 34 CLM members and 12 ALM members have contacted me despite my profile pictures.  A couple of them have contacted more than once and one was so interested in me that she has contacted me no fewer than three times despite the fact that I have told her that I was not interested in her twice already.  I have said this before, too.  But like I said, not everyone reads every comment.  I simply have not been convinced that I was discouraging "worthy" potential partners because of my profile pictures.  I have been convinced that I have been discouraging the shallow, the gold diggers, the ones searching for trophy husbands and the ones primarily interested in impressing the outside world rather than pleasing themselves. Read more…

604 Views | 14 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/31/2018 5:57:28 AM

            I began studying Latin in high school.  We used a textbook which employed Latin proverbs to help teach the language.  The author obviously intended to kill two birds with one stone, teaching us about ancient Roman thought as well as their language.  Among these proverbs were ars gratia artis, "art for the sake of art", amor omnia vincit, "love conquers all", and vestis virum reddit, "clothes make the man".  This last one obviously bore the greatest significance to the subject of this blog, my profile pictures. Read more…

381 Views | 5 Comments | 0 Articles | 4/6/2018 10:52:44 AM

My friend Wayne (not his real name) is a medical doctor at a large university hospital.  Twice divorced but ever the optimist, he is currently in search of the woman to spend his remaining years with.  Recently a female researcher from China visited his university.  He was interested, and not only in a scholarly sense, as I deduced from a couple of emails I received from him querying me on matters of Chinese culture. After not hearing from him for a while, I decided to check on  how things were going, and received the following response: Read more…

934 Views | 27 Comments | 0 Articles | 3/10/2018 11:40:25 PM

            I'm not really sure just how widespread the term, "Peanut Gallery", is but it is a well-known term among Americans though most have no idea of its origins.  Several months ago, I was sufficiently interested to perform a little online research.  Turns out that Peanut Gallery was originally a theater term.  During the days when Vaudeville was the most popular theater genre, the performers took to calling the balcony the Peanut Gallery. Read more…

1125 Views | 15 Comments | 0 Articles | 2/9/2018 10:00:17 PM

            Every day I checked to see if she has logged-in again, and every day I was both disappointed and relieved that she has not.  I was disappointed that she has not logged-in and read my messages, thus proving my interpretation of the fact pattern correct.  I was relieved that she has not proven my interpretation false by logging-in and then failing to read my messages. Read more…

956 Views | 22 Comments | 0 Articles | 2/9/2018 9:57:45 PM

            I had peace of mind for the next nine days as I waited patiently for my almost perfect match to return from her vacation.  But on the tenth day, I began to feel uneasy again.  I dealt with my uneasiness by sending two more messages to my almost perfect match.  The first message was short, just a reassurance that I was still waiting patiently for her.  The second one was to correct a mistake which I had made in my second message.  Those mistakes revolved around some confusion which I had about the time stamps on CLM. Read more…

845 Views | 18 Comments | 0 Articles | 1/26/2018 11:17:40 PM

            At 6:00 p.m. I had resolved to upgrade my CLM membership.  I attempted to pay for the upgrade but I immediately ran into a problem.  The only card I had available to make the payment was the ATM card associated with my primary checking account.  Unfortunately, the card was a Mastercard and, for reasons involving international banking, PayPal would not accept it.  After three hours of fruitless attempts to use my bank card to pay for my upgrade, I sent an e-mail to CLM's customer support to ask them why I couldn't pay for my upgrade with a Mastercard. Read more…

575 Views | 10 Comments | 0 Articles | 1/21/2018 11:00:55 PM

I started this series by describing an incident that occurred while Yong and I were travelling in which she uttered a statement about the superiority of Chinese culture that seemed dubious to say the least in light of the historical record. Rather than confront the situation with reason and logic (which in my experience are of limited value in any relationship), I suggested that the Developmental Model of Intercultural Sensitivity (DMIS) is a more useful tool to bring to an intercultural relationship.  According to the DMIS, there are six levels at which we can relate to a culture other than our own:  Denial, Defense, Minimization, Acceptance, Adaptation, and Integration. As we progress through the various levels, we come to realize the filter through which we inevitably view other cultures, abandon the ethnocentric belief in the superiority of our own culture and ultimately adopt an ethnorelative stance that grounds itself not in critical judgment but in clear-eyed understanding. Read more…

744 Views | 7 Comments | 0 Articles | 1/2/2018 3:21:58 AM

            I vividly remember a case on another dating website where I encountered a woman with three or four pictures in her profile.  Her primary picture showed her wearing a business suit.  I did not find that picture particularly attractive but there was another picture showing her riding a lawn tractor.  She was dressed casually and she was not wearing any make-up or jewelry and that was the picture that made me interested in her.  That was the picture where I felt she looked the most beautiful and that was the picture that attracted me to her.  If her primary picture had been the only picture on her profile, I would not have given her a second glance.  I certainly would not have tried to contact her.  Naturally, she was an Asian woman living in Virginia and at the time she was a couple of years older than me. Read more…

876 Views | 23 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/29/2017 3:36:46 PM

When I was writing about my ideal match it never occurred to me that anyone would seriously object when I said that she would be both beautiful and sexy.  But then again, I had forgotten what I had learned in speech communication class:  that we interpret all forms of communication, even written communication, through the prism of our beliefs, experiences, emotions, and prejudices.  Thus, the reader will never perceive the message in the same way that it was originally conceived by the writer.  Words such as 'beauty' and 'sexy' are far more open to interpretation than others. Read more…

718 Views | 7 Comments | 0 Articles | 12/22/2017 4:19:28 PM

Now, one objection that might be raised with respect to the rule with which I ended my previous entry—that one should not say anything negative about China to your Chinese partner—is: Don’t couples need to be truthful with each other? And if the negative statement about China is true, shouldn’t I inform my partner about this fact? Read more…

2034 Views | 28 Comments | 3 Articles | 5/1/2017 12:22:12 PM

Learned  people inherently knew there were three channels to learn wisdom. The first method was by pondering and reflection, that supposedly was the most noble way. But this was for people smarter than me who sat cross-legged in caves all day and ate nothing but lettuce leaves. Read more…

751 Views | 3 Comments | 0 Articles | 5/10/2017 5:12:32 AM

As most of you already know, on China Love Match we pride ourselves on providing good service. However, recently we've had a few issues with members not receiving our emails even though they have verified their addresses with us, which means their own email providers should be accepting our messages into their Inboxes. But it seems that a number of email providers have now started taking it upon themselves to block messages even though the recipient has clearly indicated they wish to receive them. Read more…

2003 Views | 13 Comments | 5 Articles | 12/21/2016 10:48:20 PM

What could be better than snuggling up on a couch and reading a good book at Christmas time? Well, I genuinely believe that there's nothing wrong with that picture. In truth, there have been times when I preferred being alone to giving up my solitude for anybody. However, times have changed, and I have certainly changed with age—for better or for worse, I can't really say. What I can truly say is that if I could, I would spend this holiday season in a more enjoyable setting. Read more…

949 Views | 1 Comments | 0 Articles | 11/26/2016 2:09:02 PM

When you are dating Chinese women or Western men online, being able to video chat with them becomes essential at some point, both to assure yourself that she or he is the person they sya they are in their profile photos, and so you can spend time seriously getting to know each other. Read more…

20288 Views | 254 Comments | 8 Articles | 5/14/2016 12:49:47 PM

“Love is poison. A sweet poison, yes, but it will kill you all the same.” (excerpt from ”Game of Thrones”). Read more…

11214 Views | 237 Comments | 6 Articles | 4/17/2016 8:01:37 PM

The race for the US Presidency is on.  Discussions about this and other important world affairs have been made in the comments to my last article, “Perceptions of China – Part 3”.  Rather than muddying the waters however of a discussion about aspects of China that was the original intention of the "Perceptions" article, it’s become apparent that the US election and other crucial political and economic issues should have a blog all their own. Read more…

2843 Views | 17 Comments | 1 Articles | 4/2/2016 11:29:21 PM

The international terminal at Chicago O’Hare is a relatively modest affair compared to its futuristic United counterpart at the same site, that airline’s largest, or compared to any of the four other terminals for that matter. Terminal 5 as it’s known is also separated from the rest of the airport so that reaching it requires either boarding an above ground train or getting on a shuttle and taking an escalator down to a nondescript waiting area. Read more…

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