“A time machine?” The Rajah shook his head. “Not quite… I think of it more as a Peeping Time Machine. It shows the future, but only the kinky parts. It was created through quantum perversion physics. You know, the mathematics that developed after America outlawed heterosexuality as being a sick misunderstanding of the true dynamics between men and women. Dr. Bobbit conclusively proved - via voting on social media - that the male organ has been created by evolution so that women have something to chop off when they get angry.” Read more…
You can play Presidential Campaign 2016 as one of two characters. Either Preacher Hillary or as the Trumpanzee. Read more…
Night. A sleazy bar in Bangkok. A man, frozen solid inside the ice bathtub used to water down the drinks... Read more…
Funny how things go round.... Here I was in San Francisco, talking to cardboard boxes again, just like I did in the Sixties... We kept it quiet, but Hilary Clinton and I once had a torrid, admittedly strange, love affair. Each night I'd dress up in an American flag and my Sweet Hot Hillary would attach electrodes to my genitals and throw the switch. Read more…
Bangkok! It’s only right that the greatest city in the world be cheap, heartless, and drowning. Also sleazy, degenerate, edible, and beautiful; like the scales of a wet fish in the sun are beautiful... Read more…
“You ask, what keeps me from going mad?” The Rajah stuck a match across his zipper. In the sudden light I could see he’d soon be prowling the Pattaya streets in search of a date. “You ask, what keeps me from going mad in this endless, ghostly, dark night of a Universe? This unholy lost pirate ship of a Universe…” Read more…
I stood outside the Pattaya bar that for thirteen lucky, money making years had been called “Defeat Al Qaeda!” (Lonely guys on both sides welcome!) The Rajah was watching sadly as the workmen carefully separated, then took down, from over the large front entrance doors, the section of neon which spelled out “Al Qaeda” in curving glass tubes. Read more…
The American Secret Service agent put his hand on my shoulder before I could open the Oval Office door. Read more…
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