Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
John Abbot is co-owner of Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Coming Changes To Comments on CLM eMag, Blogs, Forum & Scammer Prison

3338 Views | 4 Comments | 0 Articles | 10/29/2012 7:07:10 AM
We’re about to instruct our developer to start making some changes to the site pertaining to comments generally, whether on the eMagazine, Blogs or Forum, or in Scammer Prison or on Success Stories. My guess is that most of you were unaware you could comment on Success Stories, and likely do not much care, but just in case, now you know. Needless to say, comments on Success Stories do not stir up a whole lot of controversy or personal angst, but comments on the other places occasionally do and the first changes are aimed at alleviating some of the undeserved personal angst being suffered by those who are the subject of the comments, or the detrimental affect certain comments can have to the overall community spirit we wish to engender here on CLM/ALM. Read more…

Cybersex Resolution: Preventing Members from Unduly Pressuring Others to have Cybersex

3628 Views | 6 Comments | 0 Articles | 10/21/2012 3:13:52 PM
I admit that I’ve pretty much beat this to death, and thank you all for your patience while we’ve been trying to sort it out amidst incredible pressures coming from other sources. I’ll try to make this brief, since the last posting basically already advised what we feel we can (and cannot) do to police this issue. At risk of being incredibly redundant let me say this is not about restricting consenting adult members from enjoying cybersex on or off our sites – we do not feel that is any of our business. It is about preventing members from rudely and obnoxiously pressuring other members to have cybersex and received a clear “No thanks”. Read more…

A Chinese Dating Scammer Sets Off A Bizarre Battle

7179 Views | 16 Comments | 0 Articles | 10/10/2012 1:58:49 PM
A few days ago we placed a member, Gustamel, in Scammer Prison after receiving a couple of reports from women indicating he had asked for money and enclosing copies of the chat in which he did this. In our investigation of his onsite behavior we were left with no doubts that Gustamel was indeed a Scammer and the reports were true. Into the Scammer Slammer he went. Read more…

Cybersex Resolution: Member Comments with CLM Response

3148 Views | 2 Comments | 0 Articles | 10/7/2012 3:42:57 PM
We’ve been hashing over the Cybersex Pressure issue in the background here, while dealing with some other dramatically important (to us) matters relating to Google’s new methods of determining the importance of a website. You’re going to hear a lot more about that in the near future, but meanwhile now we’d like to get back to the cybersex issue and what we hope to do about it. Grab a coffee and settle in because this is going to be a long read. Read more…

CyberSex Revisited: Heading Towards a Conclusion.

4542 Views | 10 Comments | 0 Articles | 9/30/2012 3:05:03 PM
A few weeks ago we posted a blog about incidents of men pressuring numerous Chinese women they met on CLM to have cybersex with them. By pressuring them I mean asking repeatedly in spite of having received a definite “no” at the time the first request was made. We indicated we believed CLM had to do something to eliminate this behavior and invited comments and discussion to help us determine what steps should or could be taken. Read more…

Pressuring Chinese Women Members For Cybersex Is Not Acceptable

13506 Views | 44 Comments | 0 Articles | 9/2/2012 2:09:09 PM
An issue has been raising its ugly head here on CLM more and more (it’s not noticeably prevalent on ALM yet) and it is reaching the point where we are feeling we need to address it in a real and effective manner. Coincidentally we received a serious report letter on it earlier today, and while I am writing this blog a Chinese member has posted a forum on the same subject, so I feel confident I’m not overstating the seriousness of the situation. Read more…

Picture That (life in China Déjà Vu)

3155 Views | 4 Comments | 3 Articles | 8/26/2012 1:56:17 PM
Pictures are amazing in their ability, among other things, to remind a person of situations in their lives that really have nothing to do with the picture itself. There is just something about the picture that resonates and takes you right back to some time or situation so clearly that you feel as if you’re reliving it. Perhaps nowhere is it so true as it is with pictures of animals, at least for me. Read more…

Is This a Chinese Woman / Western Man Thing, Or Is It Just Us?

8040 Views | 22 Comments | 0 Articles | 8/12/2012 12:54:36 PM
Since going back to Canada for my Mother's funeral, my wife and I have been on a working holiday, and chose to set down in one location somewhere on Planet earth. We actually aren't working any less and we decided that extensive travel would be too difficult when we have to be online 10 to 12 hours a day, so we decided that we'd better pick a location and explore it in depth. To be honest, after 10 years I was China'd out and needed a break, and she wanted to see somewhere new and explore a little, so for the next few months we'll be doing our thing from outside China. Read more…

The Chinese Dating Blogs: Where Do We Go From Here

5322 Views | 12 Comments | 0 Articles | 8/5/2012 1:00:59 PM
Recently, long time member “HistGuy” posted a Forum thread entitled “I Miss The Old CLM”. I welcome you to give it a read, along with the comments (especially mine), and then return here for further discussion. In his forum thread HistGuy basically indicates that he feels CLM has become less friendly and the blogs have stopped being helpful and are no longer about seriously seeking a life partner. You’ll see from my first comment on his thread that I take some offence at his approach in the thread, but on second thought I believe that HistGuy’s concerns, regardless of whether I agree with his approach, deserve some serious consideration. Read more…

Do Western Women Have A Bias Against Chinese Men?

12451 Views | 29 Comments | 0 Articles | 4/29/2012 12:12:55 AM
I recently received a letter from young Chinese man, who I understand to be a born in the UK but in any event has spent his life there, expressing serious concerns that Caucasian women may be prejudiced against him because he is Chinese. He asked for my comments and I responded by asking if he would be willing to let me make this a blog article so he would get not only my thoughts, but hopefully the considered thoughts of a number of other western men as well. He wrote back and agreed that was a good idea. I apologize to him because it has taken me several weeks getting around to writing this. Read more…
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