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Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
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We're born alone. We die alone.    

By Barry Pittman
28692 Views | 254 Comments | 5/19/2016 4:02:07 PM
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#2016-06-16 22:48:45 by lily2362 @lily2362

苏东坡与僧人佛印是好朋友,一天,苏东坡对佛印说:“以大师慧眼看来,吾乃何物?”佛印说:“贫僧眼中,施主乃我佛如来金身。”苏东坡听朋友说自己是佛,自然很高兴。可他见佛印胖胖堆堆,却想打趣他一下,笑曰:“然以吾观之,大师乃牛屎一堆。”佛印听苏东坡说自己是“牛屎一堆”,并未感到不快,只是说:“佛由心生,心中有佛,所见万物皆是佛;心中是牛屎,所见皆化为牛屎。
Su dongpo and master Fo yin are good friends.One day,Su asked Fo yin:in your view,what i am?Fo yin answered:in my view,you are Buddha.Su dongpo was very happy because of Fo yin's words.But he saw that Fo yin was a bit fat and teased Fo yin that he was cow dung.Fo yin didn't be angry with Su dongpo and just said:Buddha comes from our hearts.If your heart is Buddha,every things you see are Buddha.If your heart is cow dung,every things you see are cow dung.

#2016-06-17 07:21:58 by Anniehow @Anniehow

Raw animal sex is raw sex, whether in the jungle or on a bed of presidential suite. ,i.e. Location itself does not define the nature of sexual relationships.

Clearly you are suffering from wounded pride in your sexual conquest rather than lost love.

It is odd to choose the table and food to eat (when you know clearly what is offered there), wipe your mouth clean then complain about the food. Aren't you surprised you attract those women as you do now?

I am torn between admiration for your courage to share intimate details with your partners, your inclination to objectify them and repulsion. Those who are like-minded will know how I really feel.

#2016-06-17 15:26:36 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@paulfox1
@Anniehow

I have to agree with Annie that whether you're having raw animal sex or you're making love depends entirely on the feeling passing between the two participants. It has nothing to do with physical or geographical location.

Frankly, between two people truly in love, raw animal sex occurs frequently, and if they are spontaneous, it probably occurs in a very wide variety of locations. But there is an overlay of love to it that cannot occur between two people who are there for the sex alone.

When you are with someone you deeply, deeply love, and circumstances find you in a dark alley all alone, it is very possible for the urge hit to to make wild, abandoned love to each other, and when you do it would have all the appearances of raw animal sex between two near strangers, as seen by a third party.

But the unseen difference is that the two deeply in love participants will have felt that amazing connection you can have only when you are sharing the sex with (to use that tired word) your soulmate.

The two lovers will each leave the alley thinking "that was great sex" and with the feeling they've enjoyed a connection with each other that transcends the universe, and eagerly wondering when they will share it next.

The two near strangers will each leave the alley thinking "that was great sex" and wondering if and with whom it might happen again. If the shallowness of the near strangers situation escapes you (I mean anyone reading this) then you have never been truly in love.

In a nutshell, true lovers can have raw animal sex; near strangers cannot make love.

All in my humble opinion of course.

#2016-06-17 16:07:55 by melcyan @melcyan

@Barry1

When you get back to Australia, you need to seek out a high quality relationship counselor. Before you see the counselor write out the history of all your relationships with partners, family and close friends in the third person. Don't say I, but say he or Barry in what you write about yourself.

The counseling may be expensive, but you need to do it. Don't worry about the money, just concern yourself with the life you truly want to live.

#2016-06-17 17:42:06 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@Anniehow

Clearly you are suffering from wounded pride in your sexual conquest rather than lost love.
If the above comment was directed at me then I am sorry to disappoint you. If not then I'll ignore it.

What you say is essentially true, as are John's comments. However, I was using these 'events' simply to highlight something that was said in an earlier comment regarding the distinction between making love / having sex and the feeling of matrimony.

Barry used the phrase 'made/making love' in many of his postings and comments. However, 'making love' is still often used as a polite reference to 'having sex' and doesn't necessarily include the distinction between the two that you and John so eloquently described.

#2016-06-17 19:28:52 by fj1383 @fj1383

@lily2362
That's an interesting logic. So if I think that somebody is selfish, then maybe my heart is selfish. If I think that somebody is an amazing mother, then maybe my heart is that of an amazing father.
Once we fail to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person, that's when we kill all of our chances to find true happiness. In my humble opinion.

#2016-06-18 02:37:03 by anonymous15087 @anonymous15087

wow! Lily puts on the gloves.....

#2016-06-18 14:46:33 by Barry1 @Barry1

@fj1383

"Once we fail to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person, that's when we kill all of our chances to find true happiness."


Very wise words, fj1383. Thank you so much for going to the trouble of expressing them.

Following my break up, I've had cause to suffer extreme amounts of introspection.

I can see many areas where I could have done better. Particularly in the financial area. But as already mentioned, it seemed that every month I was barely making any headway in China as far as money was concerned.

In summary, I've felt a lot of remorse and regret over the whole scenario as it unfolded. To repeat the final words of my blog,

"My weeping emotional wounds will slowly and inexorably morph into profound wisdom borne from the blowtorch of harsh experience. My next partner will then in turn be able to blessedly reap the rewards of being with the smartest, wisest person that I've ever been in my life.

Now that's something of true and substantial value, I think."

#2016-06-18 14:49:40 by Barry1 @Barry1

@anonymous15087

"wow! Lily puts on the gloves..... "

Now all of us here know what it feels like to be hit with a steel fist within a soft velvet glove, my friend. (sweat)

#2016-06-18 14:56:02 by Barry1 @Barry1

@melcyan

"you need to seek out a high quality relationship counselor"

Thanks for the well meaning advice, Melcyan.

I know your heart's in the right place. But spilling my guts to a stranger just isn't my style. It would make me feel too embarrassed, metaphorically naked and emotionally vulnerable.

As John Wayne once said,

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going"

I can and I will battle through this dark chapter in my life to become stronger, wiser and more capable than ever before.

The brightest and best new beginning ever in my long lived, adventurous life starts right NOW! (clap)(punch)(clap)

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