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The Colombian Sex Scandal... and You!    

By Ken Silver About Asia
5835 Views | 7 Comments | 5/8/2012 10:21:02 PM

Let’s talk about the recent American Secret Service Columbian Prostitute scandal! Yeah, it has nothing to do with international internet dating, or finding the girl of your dreams in Asia, but still it’s very relevant.

You say “But Ken, I’m no automatic weapons specialist. I’m not a trained sniper, or a communications expert, like those Secret Service guys are. I’m not even an attack dog handler, unless you consider my last romantic relationship. (Not from this internet dating web site, of course!). I’m just a guy looking for a date on a Saturday night. I haven’t checked my current messages, but nobody has asked me to protect the President this weekend.”

Well, perhaps not, but you are or will be a purchaser of goods and services overseas, just like those Secret Service agents. Maybe you really want a hot teakwood sculpture of an elephant! Picture it- the night has fallen; and you’ve hit the wild third world streets, searching for a hot teak wood sculpture of an elephant.

Don’t be like those Secret Service agents, know your ass from your elbow, and watch your back! You don’t ever want local police to come to your door.

You never want to have Secret Service agents come to your door either, come to think of it.

Also, Secret Service agents in a foreign country never want to have the local police come to their door.

And, probably, foreign local police don’t want American Secret Service agents to come to their door, either!

What good can come of any of the above happening?

Even if the local police are honest, that’s no good, because honest police will file paperwork. They will insist on having you come down to the police station, to liven up a boring night. If the local police are dishonest they will try to aid the locals in shaking you down. Or, maybe they are in on the shake down from the beginning.

Finally if the guys knocking at your hotel door are Secret Service agents, they will ask you to find women for them, and that’s hard work. Obviously, those guys don’t tip well.

Both honest and dishonest police will ask you to hand over your passport. The moment of truth… I knew a guy who refused to hand over his passport to Laotian police, and he got away with it. Of course he knew they were up to no good, and they knew he knew it.

Whether to hand over the passport is a complicated calculus whose variables include:

1-are you in a globally newsworthy tourist attraction, or some back alley bar?

2-are you with a very well dressed female fellow tourist who will immediately begin screaming for her consulate while standing in the center of that globally newsworthy tourist attraction?

3-has whatever military general who runs the tourist attraction decreed that there is not to be a breath of bad publicity while the hotel complex he is financing goes in? And the local cops all know it?

If not… well, my expertise is limited to hot teak wood statues of elephants.

To add spice to the mix, probably you’ve had a drink or two before this all happened. The Nazis had a drink or two before deciding to invade Soviet Russia. Drinking can often lead to a series of complications and bad judgments.

The Secret Service agents involved have had their careers ruined because they disputed claims of services rendered for $30 or $600, depending on the news reports. Their stupid refusal caused the hotel staff to become involved, which in turn led to the involvement of the local police.

Who mentioned all this to the American embassy.

You really want to settle things before the local police arrive. Heck, before the hotel staff arrives. And you have to be sharp about this, because a phone call takes less than a minute. While you are thinking it over, neurons ticking away, the phone is picked up by angry people, the call made, and the situation becomes irreversibly more difficult.

Of course, this may all be a prearranged setup the police are already in on…

In any case… you will be allowed by all concerned to walk out to the ATM. Don’t worry about that. $30, or $600, I say, get it paid off and over. Some people say” Fight it!” urging you to phone the helpful “Tourist Police”, the Embassy, etc.

Well, it’s up to you, and perhaps it depends on how bad things can become. If you are guilty, pay it off. If the frame up is a good one, pay it off. If it’s an absurd charge and they want a lot of money I guess you can fight it.

The real trouble is often the collateral damage, not the actual charge, as the Secret Service agents found out.

My most recent experience was with a frame up. My friend was innocent, but it sure looked like he was guilty, mostly because it was a good frame. We paid and shook hands with the enemy.

Everybody should then go away happy, remarking what a sensible person you are.

If you are still nervous about it, leave town the next day.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2012-05-08 23:59:32 by anonymous3513 @anonymous3513

That deal with the Colombian hookers was just ridiculous! It is my understanding that prostitution is legal in Colombia, so if the idiots (Secret Service agents) had just paid their "rent" and left well enough alone no problems would have arisen from the incident, they would still have their jobs, there wouldn't be international news of this event and the United States would not have another black eye as seen to the entire world.

If those idiots (again, I'm referring to the agents), were too cheap to pay the girls, they had no business hooking up with them in the first place. Maybe they should try one of the American hookers who are probably ten times more costly and probably not nearly as pretty or good at their job..LOL..The agents just may have been investigating the hookers for our President to pick the best one for him after his arrival. LOL.. I guess it shows that I do not like the current president at all.
To the moderators ( please remember " )

#2012-05-09 10:11:13 by danruble @danruble

They said they wanted straight sex..But they got screwed in the END!!!

#2012-05-11 20:05:34 by anonymous3525 @anonymous3525

LOL danruble,

I think getting "screwed" was their plan... After all, that is what hookers are for..


#2012-05-18 23:44:08 by juancolombia @juancolombia

oohhhh well, as a Colombian male I think this topic is my business, look guys, this is just a mediatic issue nothing else, you already know that secret sevice agents go for hookers everywhere they go, so what's the deal? they had to pay and that's it, so I hope cases like this have no relationship with international dating agencies, one thing is true, my country is building a culture of easy women, easy in every sense, hey don't generalize but is everyday more common that humble and rich women waant to rebuild their bodies, prostitute themselves and make a lot of money, I don't know, it looks like an epidemic, just an advice, if you look for a woman of my country, make sure you will be happy, don't look for the sexy gal that only put her eyes on your money

#2012-06-08 09:47:50 by cotton @cotton

@juancolombia, how abt a Colombian male?

#2012-09-15 23:48:27 by carber911 @carber911

Its not easy being a secret service personel all dressed up with ties and suits, and Im sure its not easy being a hooker all undressed down who takes it 700 times a year plus. (from certain reports.)

Now im not into hooking but the stories like this one are very funny and its just sad they couldnt tip more than a little.

Now i enjoyed reading your post of what ifs, so lets add to the what ifs, because we really dont know what happend except Booze, cheap sex, and a whole lot of he said she said he paid but she didnt get paid for the extra twirl swish-shwap lollipop up down thing, bing bang boom got no more money in the room; so no more yummy honey for the dummy! lol never said that line b4!

Lets imagine the new guy- he just started taking one for the team. He didnt cream and now the hooker is getting mean because she is used to more money being seen. The new guy forgot his wallet the night before when he paid rounds, and the older guy said dont worry he was going to pay for him. Little did the hooker who sinked lips into that poor working man know that really the other guy was going to pay. Now the new guy forgot where the other guy went and now he stuck on the hook for paying for the door, the floor, and everthing else because she wanted more!

So thats the way love goes when you get the best top notch hookers the country can buy for you! Let you decide who the country is....

Once again, i feel bad for the hooker because sex is all she knows, and life has many great things besides sex and secret men who dont always carry colombian cash for the finer things in life.

Now teak is almost extinct and white elephants are all gone. so the moral of the story is enjoy life and promise to pay when you get back from the atm next to the teak white elephant with big ears.

#2012-12-14 11:20:39 by hello141 @hello141

The best way to avoid the negative consequences is to not partake in it. Do you know of any girls that want to be a prostitute when they grow up? Neither do I. These women are forced (physically, mentally, or financially) into this profession. Buying their "goods" is not helping them out.

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