Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Beautiful
Chinese
Women
of
CLM
Beautiful
Asian
Women
of
ALM
Barry from Australia is a questioning soul who looks at social issues from an alternative point of view and instead of asking, “Why?”, he asks “Why not?” He’s convinced that many of his previous incarnations were spent in China. He feels drawn to the people there; attracted by their rich culture and way of life. If given one wish from God, he’d reply, “I want everyone on Earth to be the same colour, speak the same language, and treat each other as they themselves would like to be treated.”
Articles :
92
Views :
559099
Comments :
3456
Create Time :
2013-10-20
This Blog's Articles
Index of Blogs
Index Blog Articles

Your China Trip - Who Should See Who?    

By Barry Pittman
7616 Views | 35 Comments | 12/2/2013 2:47:52 PM

As previously mentioned, I started a forum thread recently titled “If You Intend To Meet More Than One Lady”.  This attracted a lot of diverse comments that  were greatly appreciated, yet slightly blurred the pivotal message I was trying to convey.


So this article is part two of a summary of my ideas on this subject. If anyone wants to see all the entertaining comments originally posted on the topic, simply take a look at the relevant thread in the forum section of this highly informative website.

This article relates primarily to a perceptive comment in the original thread on this topic by Dancing Shoes, who I’d like to thank for posting it.  She said,

“I think the man who tells you that he will meet more women than you is very sincere and honest enough. But there is one problem that, if the women he visits are located in different cities, then he needs to connect his trips well.  But it is difficult for a foreigner to arrange his travel agenda such as traffic, inland flights, hotels and meals in an alien country. You must be aware that you may get frustrated while you’re traveling in an alien country because you don’t know any of their language. Some taxi drivers do not speak good English and they may not always know your hotel’s name or your destinations (railway station or airport).  So will you consider just staying in one large city such as Beijing, Shanghai or Hongkong, and tell all the ladies your hotel name and address, and the meeting date with each one, and just ask the ladies to come to meet you?”

This is an interesting and very valid point indeed. 

Imagine a good hearted Westerner who dreams of meeting a wonderful new Chinese lady to be his wife.  He travels to China to meet several ladies spread out in far flung fashion all over the country.  Is it reasonable for him to book into a city geographically positioned in the middle as far as possible to everyone he’s wishing to see  -  and then expect them to come to him?  Or should he do all the hard yards himself, traveling in a step by step fashion to see each person individually in their respective regions?

I had initially intended to travel by myself all over the country, but upon careful consideration, maybe it’s not the best thing to do?  There are twelve points I’d like to address here as follows.

LANGUAGE

Most Westerners cannot speak Mandarin. If a lot of travel across China is to be involved, surely on this one important point alone, it'd be so much easier for the lady to travel, rather than the ignorant Westerner who's totally bewildered and baffled by the strange dialect he hears that sounds like so much confusing gibberish to him?

DISTANCE
If a man has travelled 8000 kms to China –  from one part of the world to another - why can’t a lady travel within her own country to meet him, even if it’s a few hundred or even a one thousand kilometre journey for her?  One thousand kms is still a lot less than eight thousand, right?  And no visa, passport or time zone issues are involved for her.  Unlike the beleaguered man who has to handle all of these himself, including probably two trips to the Chinese Embassy in his home country in order to arrange for a visa, plus pay relevant fees and charges for this. Then of course, he has to book and pay for the international air tickets. Plus arrange for time off work and so on and so forth. 

 

Many ladies may not fully appreciate the big effort that the  gentleman she's seeing has already gone to, even before he sets foot in China.
 

Let's face facts - not everyone has well developed navigation skills. Some people get lost driving around their own home town.  The prospect of a Westerner like this trying to successfully traverse across a multitude of strange cities in a huge and foreign land would be mighty daunting for him.  I believe this very point alone would intimidate many men to such an extent that they simply wouldn't dare to make such a challenging trip in the first place.

Let's be honest here.  Not every Western man is particularly intelligent.
Not every Western man is particularly bold or daring.
Not every Western man has the fortitude -  the burning fire in his belly - to reach out and determinedly pursue his dreams.

So it just makes plain good sense that the easier and the simpler that wise and empathic Chinese ladies can make it for these ordinary Westerners to locate and woo them, the better.
 

 

SERIOUS OR NOT?
An interesting side issue is this.  Unless there's a compelling reason to the contrary, if a lady won’t visit the man, then perhaps this is a telling indicator that maybe he shouldn’t be bothered with her in the first place?  Is she too lazy, too haughty, too uncommitted - to make a big effort to see her man  - just as quite clearly, he's already made a serious effort to see her? 


TWO ROOMS
If a man requests ladies to see him, he should of course book TWO rooms in the hotel, one for him and one for his friend.  He should make it clear to everyone what’s happening -  not hide the fact that he'll be seeing more than one lady.   He'll stress that he does NOT want nor intend to have sex with anyone. This simply wouldn’t be a fair nor reasonable thing to do under the circumstances by any decent gentleman. 

 

BE PREPARED - DO NOT WEAKEN
On this point, I can foresee the potential situation where one or more of the ladies he meets will come on strongly to him, doing her darndest with all her sweet feminine wiles,  to jump into bed with him.  The man should be mentally PREPARED IN ADVANCE for this CERTAINTY and at all costs, remain resolute.  The fact is, it's not whether any of the ladies will try to do this, but how many! 

 

He should politely yet firmly say to her the following.  In fact, he should memorise this before he meets anyone, knowing that guaranteed, it'll have to be repeated to at least one person.

“I really appreciate the effort you’ve made to come and see me.  I  think you’re an extremely attractive lady. Normally there’d be nothing better that I’d like to do than to make love with you.  I need to say though, that I cannot and will not.  As you know, I’m meeting several people during my time here and I’ve promised everyone that there will be NO SEX involved with anyone.  The other ladies are taking my word here  -  so I cannot breach their trust or let them down.  How'd you feel for example, if I’d made love to the last lady who was here?  Or to the last two or three ladies!  I’m sure you can both understand and respect my position here, just as I intend to exhibit equal respect and integrity to all of you."

FOR LADIES ONLY
Okay, this section is directed to ladies only.  If any Western man is reading this, please stop here and go straight to the next section, because the next two paragraphs are confidential, for ladies' eyes only.

To the ladies who are reading this, you can also check your man.  Suppose you're in this situation of meeting him in a hotel, knowing that you'll be one of several to be with him.  As an integrity test, why not do your best to seduce him, in order to see if he'd actually have sex with you?  If the man steadfastly resists your advances, this is a good sign, as probably he's a morally decent, upstanding gentleman.

But if he melts into your arms without much resistance, this doesn't augur well for the future.  The chances are perhaps he's a bit of a playboy type?  At the very least, he's a morally questionable character, as in a unique situation such as this involving trust with some beautiful and gentle souls, he absolutely should've remained strong, not act like an animal.
 

INCREASED NUMBER OF LADIES
Another advantage of staying in one city is that the man could potentially see an increased number of ladies.  If a guy knows he has to travel by himself all over a country where he can't understand the language nor read the writing,  quite naturally, he’ll think hard before deciding to see someone who may live in some obscure town that he's never heard of, nor has any idea where it's located.  He’ll tend to cut down his “long list” of ladies to see, to a “short list”. 

 

But if the man knows he won’t have to be traipsing everywhere by himself in a probably fatigued, solitary fashion, possibly getting lost along the way, then quite easily he could add some more ladies to his list to see. 

This list lengthening makes a lot of sense, as perhaps one of the persons that otherwise he may not've bothered to see, could in fact turn out to be the one delightful soul that he gets on best with!

CLOTHING

Yet another advantage of staying in one city is related to weather, or more precisely, clothing.  If a man travels to China in winter and needs to head north, he may well find himself in snow or otherwise very bleak conditions.  Wanting to travel light however, he may not've packed sufficient warm clothing in his medium sized suitcase to stay warm.  But if he knows he’ll be staying for the duration of his trip in a city with a reasonable, non-frigid temperature range, he needn’t bother cramming his already overburdened suitcase with all manner of heavy outfits.

COSTS

If a lady can't afford the train or air ticket costs to see the man, then he should graciously pay them for her.  Not every person in China is well off  - Western men are aware of this and all decent gentlemen would  in turn accept responsibility here. And if they don't, then this should be a big red flag to the lady that maybe the guy's not so wonderful after all?

Quite obviously, he’ll be paying all the hotel room costs for her as well.  In theory, a lady who’s a little poor shouldn’t need to spend much at all on her journey, as long as she advises her true financial position to the man in advance. The lady should not feel embarrassed, as Western men are aware of the economic situation in China for many good people.  So money should never be an issue.  If a lady declines to travel to see the man, even after being told it'll cost her nothing, unless there are other compelling issues involved, then this lady should be scratched off the list.

CHILDREN

If a lady with a young child can't find someone to look after the child for a few days, then the man should say, "No problem - bring the kid with you!"

I can't see anyone using children as a legitimate excuse not to be able to travel to meet her Western friend.  It wouldn't be the end of the Earth if the child misses a few days schooling, given the big stakes involved.  We're talking about an entire lifestyle change and possible marriage for the lady, after all.  If she quibbles about her child not wanting her to go see you or whatever, and uses this as a reason not to visit you, this'd be a red flag alert to the man, that maybe he'll always be placed in second position behind this lady's spoilt son or daughter.

JOB

On a few occasions, the lady may have legitimate difficulty taking time off work.  A little flexibility would be called for here by the man. In this situation, I'd try to meet such a person over a weekend.  Perhaps she could travel to be with him on the Friday night, then leave for home on the Sunday night?

Although on the other hand, if she can't take time off work, wouldn't the same situation arise if the man went to see her directly?  Would being able to see each other after work for a couple of days when naturally she's a little flustered and tired, be adequate for them to really get to know each other?  I guess it's better than nothing, though not ideal.  This contingency would need to be dealt with in as practical as fashion as possible, should it occur.

TIME

How much time to spend with each person?   This is an individual thing to be considered on a case by case basis, determined by factors such as how much time the man has available to stay in China and how many ladies he intends to see.  And of course, how much time each lady may or may not have available to her.

 

In theory, the longer the better.  But in practice, my gut feeling is that where multiple ladies are involved, three to five days with each person should be aimed for.  Three days would be an absolute minumum, and I mean three full days if possible, not two half days and a full one sandwiched in between.

 

If you have only two or three ladies to see however, then maybe five to ten days per person would be fine if you can both manage it.

 

CONCLUSION
Given all the above, most reasonable people  -  both men as well as women  -  would agree it makes far more sense for the man to stay in a centrally located town to where all the ladies are situated, then request that they please come to him.

A tight schedule of meetings would be created, showing both the arrival and departure date for each lady.  If one person for some reason doesn't turn up, then simply scratch her off the list and add a little extra time to each of the other lady's visits, if at this late stage, it's possible for them to juggle or readjust their travel plans.  Sometimes it will be, sometimes it won't.

I'd recommend that upon arrival and after settling into his hotel, the man purchase a prepaid sim card for his phone.  He'd then send a text to each of the ladies, confirming with them all of his contact details, including the hotel address, phone number and room number details, plus reconfirm with them, their own separate arrival dates and times.  The plan would now be ready to unfold as it should.

As discussed, this procedure gives great flexibility as far as seasons go.  I'd initially planned to wait for warmer weather in China to arrive, but now I have the pleasing option to go any time I like.

Our goals will only ever be fully realised by those bold enough to move out of their comfort zones and reach for the unreachable, strive for the improbable.


Because you know what?  Maybe the seemingly herculean task of finally finding our enchanting soul mate - the beguiling and bewitching person we've been waiting literally all our lives for - could soon be within our grasp, for those of us here willing to both dare to dream and then work hard to achieve it.

"All glory visits those who begin
 All regret visits those who don't"

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 35) 1 2 3 4 More...
#2013-12-04 22:58:37 by Barry1 @Barry1

UPDATE

Since writing this article, just out of curiosity, I asked three ladies I've been chatting to here for some weeks who I'd considered to be pretty good friends, if they'd meet me if I traveled to a centrally located city. Up till now, the arrangement had been that I was to go to them, that they'd each happily accepted.

One lady replied yes, she'd come to see me. One said, "maybe". One person outright said "no".

Well, surprise, surprise. The lady who said "maybe" to me was a real disappointment, as I'd been chatting to her the longest of everyone and had considered her to be the closest of all my CLM friends. The lady who'd said no was no big deal, as we don't chat as often as the others.

The culling system is working already.... the leopards are showing their true spots that hitherto had been cleverly disguised.

This system is already showing its worth, even though I may not necessarily like what I'm finding out. Truth can hurt sometimes, but should never be rejected.

Great stuff, this overall concept - this plan - is simpler, quicker and more effective than I thought at sorting out wheat from the chaff.

Let the games begin.

#2013-12-05 01:31:14 by Anonymouth @Anonymouth

@barry1 Yes, I agree with you... I think one central base for "The Bacchelor, China edition" is a great idea. You must make sure that you pick the right venue too.

1. A large but private, room suitable for the dance-off. Somewhere open enough to line up 6 or 8 women and still give each enough room to do her full and seductive dance number without tripping over the girls to her left and right. Of course your chair needs a good central location with room on all sides for the dance off finale when the women will all simultaneously surround your chair and really do whatever they think will MOST hold your attention to them only, come on ladies you must pull out (or off) all the stops here if you want to win the prize.

2. Private alcoves.. Your venue must have a good place for the kissing part, an important aspect of the contest. The more private the better so the "contestants" will be more comfortable getting frisky or "creative". Creativity is certainly worth extra points though technique and effort are also equally important in the scoring of this part.

3. Evening gown...

Seriously Bro... I think you are worrying way too much about this orchestration of multiple meetings thing. Just be upfront and let them know you are open to whatever, you are serious.. But are just worried that without the real, in person meeting and spending time together thing you cant be sure what's real. As long as she knows you are going to meet a couple others, then she can make up her own mind too.

I'm against central home base idea and Ill tell you why. The women will know fun places to take you and great restaurants, or ones they've never been to but always wanted to try in their own home city. Let them show you around and take you to nice romantic places.

Sex? You're both consenting adults. Dont artificially constrain the natural progression of a potential relationship by putting the kabash on real developing feelings. The magic that could have been might vanish forever. As long as you are honest. If you have an amazing time all day with one woman and you both feel it, let that kiss happen and anything else that follows. If she melts you and you are helpless putty in her hands maybe thats the sign to call and deeply apologize to the others. Love cannot be so rationalized and quantified. Its a qualified thing, it's between the lines. On a score card this one might lose in every category yet some subjective thing like a dimple that just pops out w a shy smile tells you from your heart that she's the one.

I think you MUST narrow down to no more than three and then try to schedule the one who you really feel is most likely to be HER first. Really i totally disagree with you on whether real love can happen on line. Its risky to let it go that far for sure, but great things are worth great risks.. What's finding the love of your life worth? When I threw everything and everyone else aside and went to China for just one woman I was scared shitless as I got off that plane that she would be different somehow or it wouldn't feel the same as it did night after night after night on video chat, but it wasn't about seeing if I loved her. I did already. It was just please please let it be the same between us in person as it was online... And it was. No change almost like i hung up in the living room and walked into the kitchen to carry on our same conversation without a stutter step.

There are some things about which Im so like Mr Spock.. All logic n science about.. But love is a natural and spontaneous, subjective feeling that you cant apply all these rules to. You will kill it before it has enough open air to take flight. You will hobble the romance that is the building block of passion and real feeling. Dont do it.

Put down the rule book and just follow your heart. It is so real and so powerful but it will disappear right before your eyes if you try to put it under a microscope and analyze away all the magic. Few as possible final candidates, and meet them in their own territory where they are comfortable and can be themselves, then give them each full attention and dont set up road blocks. First come first serve.. If you find something is real youre done.. This is not a contest, it's not a comparison. What are you going to do at the end. make a pros n cons chart? Give a set of numerical scores to tally up and pick a winner? Thats a HORRIBLE and stone hearted way to choose. Much more cold and worse than just being your self with each girl and being open to anything and then paying attention to your and her feelings.

#2013-12-05 01:45:23 by matthew1975 @matthew1975

This is a very well thought out summary. I myself have been to China twice so far to try and meet someone, and sadly to say have failed to meet the lady in question both times. So I have to agree at this point, planning to meet more than one lady on a visit is definitely a good idea. I am curious about one thing though, and maybe it does not apply to you as I don't think you are an American? But from what I have learned, the recent changes to China's Visa policies mean an American can not get a Visa to visit China without a letter of invitation from someone in China. I'm at somewhat of a loss as how to deal with this myself, as I was planning to travel again this spring, and now I don't know if I will. Though I do think it may still be possible to visit Hong Kong without a Visa. Anyway, thanks for this article, I'm going to save it and keep it as a list of items to consider in the future, lots of good information here!

#2013-12-05 10:02:44 by dancingshoes @dancingshoes

@Barry.

Interesting! While you are writing this blog here about the strategies to meet the Chinese ladies, there is at the same time another thread forum about how to receive the western guys and how to show him around in China - "若有朋自远方来 接待与出行参考----------". This sister posted the detailed solutions about the lauguage, costs, hotels, dresses, laundry, traffic, restaurants/special snacks and resorts sightseeing, etc.

Barry, I have one question about the "TWO ROOMS": how about two beds in one room if the western guy insists? Ha-ha. It was a question raised by a lady in a Chinese forum thread.

#2013-12-05 15:25:12 by anonymous8275 @anonymous8275

Hi. I've been at this internet dating site for less than a year, so maybe I should classify myself as a "Rookie", but I cannot wrap my head around the idea of visiting several ladies. I do agree with your points above IF you are seeing more than one, but you make it seem almost like you are shopping for a lifemate. Granted, perhaps the lady(ies) will reject you after meeting so it's not just your choice, but I just don't get your approach. At the end, there may be one happy lady, but several will have had some level of commitment to you and will have broken hearts.
Perhaps because I am further away from China than you, so it is a little harder for me to visit, I want my visit to be more than just a meeting. Sex is not on the agenda either. My approach is opposite of yours. I think there is an understanding that during emails and chats, each may have more than one potential partner on the go. Over time, this will become just the one that I think will be the perfect choice, and thanks to the wonders of webcams and calling cards, I am not making this choice completely blind. I have not yet been to China, but when I go, it will be to meet just that one lady. But I am not going until I've spent sufficient time on the webcam and chatting services that I have really gotten to know the lady well. This means sharing with each other the intimate information about our lives, our work, our desires and plans. After enough time, we both should know that we are a good pair at least mentally (which is far more important in the long term). All that is left is to confirm the physical, which is when we should meet. And if it doesn't work well when we meet, then the trip will still be successful because I will turn it into a sight-seeing vacation.
I also don't fully agree with your point in part 1 of this article that you can't be truly in love with someone you have never touched. Maybe that's the Dating Rookie in me showing, but I believe that you can fall in love. What it takes, is commitment, honesty, effort and time. From both sides. When our first waking thought is of each other, when the story of every bit of our day needs to be shared each day, when we are comfortable discussing our deepest intimate secrets without hesitation, then we are in love. Maybe when we meet, she will break my heart or vice versa, but I will not feel guilty about a failed relationship that I really tried to make work. But I will feel guilty about knowingly breaking the hearts of several ladies that committed to me and lost.

#2013-12-05 23:12:01 by sandy339 @sandy339

ok Barry
for your integrity test: "why not do your best to seduce him, in order to see if he'd actually have sex with you?" my answer is no, I simply don't take him that seriously at all , this kind of meeting I might take it just for fun if I am available. I think your ladies are well prepared for that,if they want to seduce you, I guess there would be something wrong with them, they are either desperate or not so healthy mentally...

So I think after meetings, you'd better focus on one woman and spend and enjoy rest of your time with her only, I think she will treat you like a family member rather than a visiting foreign guest,

You make things a little complicated here? You might end up with a simple and happy story…But you might be lost at choosing, cos everyone has her own special attrubutes, don’t be a hesitate “Hamlet” otherwise you might need a second trip to China ? Haha

Haha, "All glory visits those who begin; All regret visits those who don't" Is it a challenge or encouragement? Good Luck! Anyway.

#2013-12-06 08:18:09 by ChinaCathy @ChinaCathy

It needs courage to cover such a long article. lol. But if it is not this long, Barry may not make himself well understood. Good for him, and thanks for the contributory idea.

Anyhow, I am convinced by his planning to meeting the ladies in Shanghai. Though at first, I think it is unseemly and inproper.

But if I were Barry, I would not find out a better solution.

So let's see what happens...

Good luck, Barry.

#2013-12-06 13:21:40 by sunrise68 @sunrise68

An interesting essay. Ha,ha, personally, if a man is willing to pay for my tickets, hotel fees and other charges and he guarantees he won't commit sexual disturbance to me and meanwhile I trust him, then I would like to meet him when time permits,no matter whoever he is.

#2013-12-06 17:22:15 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@Barry1 - I have to tell you Barry that as much as I agree with many things about your overall plan, I think your decision to meet everyone in one central location is flawed for a couple of reasons:

1. Your fear of travel in China is grossly over-stressed. Getting around China is really not that difficult. By meeting all your potential mates in one location you are going to see very little of China when you could be seeing a terrific amount of the country in the presence of great guides. What a waste of a travel opportunity and an opportunity to see each lady on her home turf, where she is in a comfort zone. Big, big mistake. Man up, Bro, the travel is what guarantees a good trip even if none of the ladies end up being right for you.

2. Some of these ladies may reject your suggestion that you meet in the same location as you are meeting with a number of other women for valid reasons. Frankly, I think your suggested plan to meet them in one place is a little rude and is a valid reason to reject meeting you in itself. Whereas they might have been perfectly happy to accept that you will be meeting several other women, they may have well thought that forcing them to come rushing across country to a competitors home base as if at your beck and call was just too presumptuous to abide by. I know I would feel that way. So instead of testing them based on whether they are open enough to accept having known competition during your trip, you've instead tested them on whether or not they so lacking in pride that they'll do anything you ask no matter how shaming it might be.

On this one Barry, I'm afraid maybe you are failing the test. Sorry to be so blunt, but I must strongly urge you to reconsider, and to call back the lady who said "maybe" and who was such a good friend, and sincerely apologize to her for being something less than a great friend yourself. Then happily agree to come to her home city so she can show you her part of the world with pride and dignity. To me she sounds like a potential winner you are lightly tossing away for the wrong reasons.

#2013-12-06 21:26:33 by Barry1 @Barry1

@Anonymouth

"Sex? You're both consenting adults. Don't artificially constrain the natural progression of a potential relationship by putting the kabash on real developing feelings. As long as you are honest."

Thanks Anonymouth, you make some great points.

May I ask you to clarify something though? You mention that I should be honest. So let's get this straight, if I happen to have sex with one lady due to the magic in the air, but then proceed on to see the next lady and she happens to ask me, "You haven't had sex with anyone yet have you?"

Should I then blurt out,

"Sure, due to the magic in the air, I had sex with the last lady I saw, but let me assure you, if it hadn't been for that pesky magic, most certainly I'd have said no to her."

Or should I tell a "white lie", and say

"Of course I haven't had sex! How could you even suggest such a thing!"

Do you see what I mean here?

Once someone weakens and has sex, then he either has to be honest about it with everyone else who asks about it - or else he needs to tell possibly a heap of lies to everyone else!

Do you want a potential relationship with someone to be based upon a lie?

Or maybe it's better to exert a little self control and not have sex with anyone, or at least not up until you've found that very special person, in which case, you'd cancel everyone else.

But even this idea has a potential flaw.

As Paul said recently - if you cancel everyone else, how can you be sure that someone you've elected not to see, could end up being even better than the person you've decided to stay with! He suggested that every person should be seen, if only to be sure in your own mind. Not a bad suggestion.

Though this then means we're back at square one - no sex should be had with anyone, even if there is "magic in the air"? Unless you're prepared to lie through your teeth to every lady afterwards who asks about this.


@matthew1975

"This is a very well thought out summary..... I'm going to save it and keep it as a list of items to consider in the future, lots of good information here!"

Thanks Matthew. Yes, I gave this whole idea a lot of thought. It may not be right, but at the minimum, it's creating some discussion and causing people to think. At the end of the day, this is a good thing, yes?

As for your point re needing to get a letter of invitation for visa purposes, this should be easy enough. Simply ask one of your friends to send this over to you. Then once you're in China, you can visit others as well, if you so choose. Just don't tell the authorities that you may be seeing more than one person, is my advice.


@dancingshoes

"I have one question about the "TWO ROOMS": how about two beds in one room if the western guy insists?"

If a man insists on having two beds in one room, it means one of two things.

1. He's a cheapskate - a miser - trying to save money, or

2. He's not 100 per cent serious about not wanting to have sex. He may be hoping that with two beds in close proximity, a sexual interaction would be much more likely than having two separate apartments in the hotel. Such a guy is a little disingenuous, in my view. Certainly he's someone to watch carefully.


@anonymous8275

Thanks for your comments, Anon8275. You seem like a sincere, decent guy. A little naive perhaps, but then again you mentioned that you haven't been to China yet and were maybe a "dating rookie".

In any case, there are no wrongs or rights here. I reckon you've got a pretty good attitude and I certainly wish you well.

By the way, this article should be read in conjunction with Part 1, that is, "Your China Trip - If You Intend to Meet More Than One Lady", where some of the points you raised in your comments were addressed.


@sandy339

"this kind of meeting I might take it just for fun if I am available. I think your ladies are well prepared for that, if they want to seduce you, I guess there would be something wrong with them..they are either desperate or not so healthy mentally... "

It's interesting to hear your viewpoint that you wouldn't attend such a meeting in any way seriously. Even if the man seemed to be serious?

"You make things a little complicated here? You might end up with a simple and happy story…But you might be lost at choosing"

This is a very good point, Sandy. There's no easy answer to this, I agree. The whole situation could become very confusing for all.


@ChinaCathy

"It needs courage to cover such a long article....... and thanks for the contributory idea........"

Hello Xin. You're certainly a very polite and nice person. Thank you for your encouraging and supportive thoughts, they're much appreciated.


@sunrise68

"An interesting essay..... if a man is willing to pay for my tickets, hotel fees and other charges and he guarantees he won't commit sexual disturbance to me.......... then I would like to meet him"

Thanks for this, Sunrise 68. Please be assured that if ever we meet in a hotel room, I will not "sexually disturb" you. Or as my other Chinese lady friend refers to it as, "create sexual chaos". lol

I think people need to get to know each other first, right? This is the whole idea of the exercise.

Good luck with all your future plans, Sunrise68.


@JohnAbbot

Thanks for your comments, John. You're highly experienced in this area with a proven track record, so to diminish or ignore your words would be stepping onto dangerous ground indeed, where only errant fools would dare tread.

Let me say that after reading everyone's comments and giving it more thought, I've decided that my idea is on balance, a BAD one. Please ignore it. Forget everything I wrote here! lol

In theory, the concept certainly has some advantages, such as being able to travel lightly, in any season; not having to worry about language difficulties or missed connection flights; being able to see an increased number of people; etc etc.

But what I can't reconcile properly is the artificial environment that I'd be meeting ladies in. They'd be away from their homes; their families; the routine familiarity of their lives. To go where? Into a sterile hotel room in some strange city? To meet a strange man they'd never met in person before? Almost certainly, this'd be a brooding recipe for disappointment and failure.

The whole situation would be just too contrived; too unnatural to work well. There'd be a lack of spontaneity; a lack of genuine congeniality; too much of a feeling of being involved in some sort of "job interview" process.

Once again, thank you to everyone who commented - or who will comment - on this interesting topic. If nothing else, it clarified a few things for not just myself, but hopefully others as well. At the end of the day, it was worth the effort in writing, even though I did end up being abruptly shot down in flames, akin to the mighty Red Baron going down with all guns firing in his beloved Messerschmitt over the fields of Normandy in WW1.

Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 35) 1 2 3 4 More...
Comment
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space. Ask Barry Pittman a Question : Click here...