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I spent 20 years punching a time clock... then decided there had to be another way. Right now I'm sitting in a comfortable chair on a beautiful beach. There's a sweet, soft breeze in the air. In front of me, on the clear blue water, a boat drifts by. Maybe I'll go snorkeling this afternoon, or work on my tan. This is my kind of tropical paradise... cheap and unspoiled!
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You Is Rich In Southeast Asia!    

By Ken Silver About Asia
3116 Views | 4 Comments | 1/23/2013 2:25:14 PM

Ah, no sound as melodious or pleasing as the lower economic classes licking ones’ boots… Light your custom fireplaces with a couple of hundred dollar bills, won’t you, dear fellow billionaires, and listen to how to deal with the servants in tropical Asia…

Well, not exactly…

Well, not quite…

It’s all, as the nuclear war strategists say, a matter of acceptable numbers.

There are an awful lot of really, really, really rich people in Asia. Please don’t make the morally reprehensible (because it would be fatal) mistake of offering a ten dollar bill to one of their comely daughters while pointing below your belt buckle. Fortunately, there are also an awful lot of really, really, really poor people in Asia. In that case, five dollars is morally ok.

Now that we’ve dealt with ethical issues, let me explain myself.

Sixty years ago, you could get a fine ten dollar hotel in Paris and spend the evening humiliating French waiters. How things change!

Southeast Asia and Asia in general is now in a transitional period similar to Europe after the war. Who knows, in another forty years that Indian beggar may be you!

For now, though, in Southeast Asia there is an economic class dedicated to taking care of budget travelers. That means hotel maids, masseuses, chauffeurs, tour guides, laundry, haircuts, manicures, budget hotels, budget restaurants; and bargaining down prices is acceptable everywhere.

This also means that the universal lubricant, tipping, will get you far while costing you little.

Very young Southeast Asia travelers – those wimps who clutch their cell phones to their taut bosoms and experience the present moment as a Facebook post – never tip. They go by the guidebook advice, and besides, we all know their generation is nothing if not absurdly self-centered.

That kind of cheap, by the guidebook attitude is their loss. Unlike the United States or Mexico, where grinning bellhops expect a piece of serious paper currency (and that adds up!) you can get by over here with coins that are far less than a U. S. dollar. Or, in Cambodia, you can tip with paper money worth about twenty five cents.

So, feel free to tip the maids who give you daily room service. Yes, even in a $7 a night guest house your room will be getting a daily cleaning, if not always a bed sheet change. The equivalent of 75 cents USD or less can get you a smile, an extra rigorous bathroom scrubbing, and that extra sheet change on your bed you will need after your daily sex romp. We never ask for special services from the maids – that is a straight line - without tipping.

Besides, its fun to tip when the money is insignificant! For a few dollars worth of tips you have your personal entourage. “There goes Mr. Your Name Here! For a rich bastard he is sure generous! They say his house in America is Fort Knox!”

So, in your dealings with those who see to your daily needs and comforts while you travel Southeast Asia, feel free to use tipping strategically. You’ll feel rich, and your servants will be just infinitesimally a little less poor.

And that’s just the way the Ruling Class likes it!

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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(Showing 1 to 4 of 4) 1
#2013-01-24 11:28:42 by scubaguy14 @scubaguy14

hmmm, my level of life in south asia has been one of german cars and formal dinners, and to think hoe many people those rent girls have been with.. eww

#2013-03-29 05:41:29 by anonymous5865 @anonymous5865

Baba ng tingin mo sa ming mga asians.. plus your english sucks knowing youre from an english speaking country???

#2013-03-29 16:53:24 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@anonymous5865 - I think the "bad English" was intentional to create humour. If it succeeded then it is the opposite of sucking, it is actually quite intelligent.

#2013-03-30 02:44:40 by danruble @danruble

I guess I must have missed the "Bad English".. I only read Silver's blogs for the pictures....

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