Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Chinese Culture - You Couldn't Make It Up.......Could You?    

By Paul Fox
2428 Views | 18 Comments | 4/22/2017 11:26:47 PM

China has long been known for its wonderful ability to copy products. In March this year there was a national 'awareness day' during which people were told to consider the implications of buying 'knock-off' products. Copying products is almost part of Chinese culture itself.

It's funny how the English term 'knock off' was used to refer to 'copies' rather than stolen goods, but the 'awareness' that they were invoking was not what I expected.


Instead of telling people simply NOT to buy copy products, they were essentially telling people to make sure they got what they paid for.

In other words, it's OK to buy a copy-product just as long as you KNOW it's a copy when you buy it.

Paying genuine Nike prices for a copy Nike product, for example, is 'foolish'.


For many years, I helped Australian business owners get locally-made products made cheaper in China. Of course, many of these products were not patented so there was never likely to be any legal issues, yet even if there were potential arguments over intellectual rights, unless your product has a Chinese patent, then there's little you can do since patents OUTSIDE China are not enforceable INSIDE China.


That said, copying Nike shoes, Apple phones, and a heap of other products, is not difficult for the Chinese, but occasionally people go a little too far.


During a recent trip to a zoo in LuoHe, a man took his son to see the lion. He wanted his son to hear the lion 'roar'. Instead of a 'roar', it 'barked'. The lion had been replaced by a Tibetan Mastiff dog, in a lion's costume (see picture).


This has to rate as being one of the funniest things I have seen in China so far. To think that ANY person would be so foolish as to fall for such a ruse is beyond comprehension.


So here we go again. 'What does this have to do with dating Chinese women?'

This is another one of my blogs that takes a look at life in China. Life in China is connected to dating women in China, so I figure people need to know what to expect if they are to spend time in the Middle Kingdom.


One thing that China is good at is 180-degree reversals. Allow me to elaborate. No doubt you have heard of the now defunct 'one-child-policy'? This involved couples being fined for having more than one child. The Chinese government has now realised that there are not enough young people with which to replace the elderly and dying, so a 180-degree reversal is being considered insofar as couples will be PAID by the government to have a second child.


The other reversal that I want to talk about is far more entertaining. Sex education.


Sex, per se, has long been regarded as a 'taboo' subject in China. Even parents rarely try to educate their kids on such a topic.I have a colleague who is married to a Chinese woman, and when they first met, she was 28 years old. She was a virgin and believed that babies were born out of a woman's belly-button. Yep, I know it sounds crazy, but he assures me it's 100% true.

It's also true that many women of China, even those who have been through marriage and divorce, are not aware that there is actually more than ONE sexual position - I kid you not!


So after all this time of 'hiding' from the subject, the government is considering doing a 180-degree flip and begin teaching kids from a very early age.

The photos below, though in Chinese, show some of the proposed 'educational' pictures that even include full penetration.


The Chinese text talks about how babies are made, it talks about how some people are attracted to others of the same sex - in other words, it's OK to be gay, and even touches on the subject we call 'paedophilia' by making kids aware of the things they should never do, even if asked to do so by their uncles, etc.


Personally, I think it's a great idea just as long as this educational program is rolled-out correctly.

Teenagers in the West are often fully sexually aware by the time they reach their mid-teens, yet in China, even women in their 20's and above are essentially still 'little girls'. Is that a bad thing? Of course not, but the traditional understanding of sex is more akin to it being functional only, in order to produce a child, rather than a beautiful experience between two people. I guess what I am saying is that I hope that by being taught 'sex-ed', Chinese people will actually learn to ENJOY sex rather than merely take part in a 'procedure' to further the Chinese population.


So, is China finally emerging from the 'Dark Ages'? - I hope so.

That said, it seems other countries are far from emerging. Take the United Arab Emirates. for example.

A Ukranian woman, who has a South African boyfriend, had cause to visit the hospital with 'stomach cramps'. Upon discovering that she was pregnant, the hospital reported her to the authorities and both she and her boyfriend were locked up for 'illegal sex'. Their crime? Well, they are not married.

To make matters worse, their respective Embassies have stated that as it's an 'internal matter', they cannot intervene.


It's so incredible that governments such as this regard sex outside marriage as being 'immoral', yet the powers-that-be don't even understand the meaning of the word 'morality'. I have little doubt that people high up in the governments are screwing as many people as they can get their hands on, but then they don't get caught, do they?











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#2017-04-23 00:10:12 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Paul, I am very interested in this planned sex education program in China. Hopefully they will find a way to actually have it presented naturally and without any personal judgments being passed on by the instructors.  The people teaching this have to be well trained in doing so before the program is rolled out, as you suggest.

It scary to think of the course just suddenly being introduced and teachers suddenly just being told to start presenting it to their class without lengthy and detailed preparation.

For example, where I grew up the very first attempt I know of to teach any form of sex eduaction in our schools started when I was about 10 years old. That was good timing for me, because my parents were both not telling me much out of shyness, and I had no sisters so I was clueless about female bodyparts, etc. As a 5 year old or so I had been friends with little girls, and we sometimes secretly "showed each other what was down there", so I knew they were different, but i had no idea why or how they were different, nor what a dramatic effect that difference was going to have on the rest of my life starting very soon, around the age of 12.

But what the decision makers decided then was that sex education would be a short series of classes (4 or 5 as I recall) that would simply be rolled out as part of our normal science class, and taught by the usual science teacher.  If he got any training at all, it would not have been more than an hour or two at some teachers' convention, listening along with hundreds of other science teachers to some government hack giving them a very quick lowdown on what was contained in the course. So the quality of what was being presented was going to depend very much on the knowledge, attitude, depth of openmindedness and sense of humour of each individual science teacher.

My science teacher was a male, in his forties, who had only recently married for the first time to a (dare I use this word) "spinster" who was also in her forties when they wed. I am certain that neither of them had ever had sex until they were married, and can't be sure they had sex after they were married. My teacher was actually a very good science teacher, because he both loved his subject, and he had an entertaining and frequently humourous way of presenting it. But with the sex education, which was already about as dry and formal as could possibly have been, he was totally unequipped to make it anything but uncomfortable and boring. He was quite simply embarrassed throughout the entire presentation, and where ususally we could make some jokes about what he was teaching, and so would he, in these classes there was no joking allowed.

Having said that, it could have been much worse. Imagine the poor souls whose science teacher was 60 year old bachelor or spinster who had never been married at all and never had sex in their life. All I could think during those classes was how much I wished I was getting them from some newly graduated teacher, prefeably cute and female, who was coming fresh from the freedom of college and getting laid once in a while, who might actualy give me a real sex education on the stuff I wanted to know. 

Like you, I hope China gets it right, as I hope the Western countries have gotten it right since my time long ago.

#2017-04-23 07:15:57 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

For those who want to see how NOT to give sex-ed in a classroom, take a look at the following 6-minute clip (Monty Python)

It's very funny, as you'd expect!



I can't remember sex-ed at school, although I know we had some, but as you say, it must be done with trained teachers using a strictly followed curriculum.

The problem in China though, is that trying to introduce it to young teenagers would certainly cause a lot of embarrassment in the beginning, simply because of what they have been taught (or not taught) during their lives so far.


I was recently teaching some 20 to 30-year olds a little bit about how we can 'play' with the English language, especially with poetry.

I wrote the following poem especially for this class, and the reaction I got was not what I expected. Many of the women (girls) said, quite frankly, that they 'didn't like this sort of thing', and some were visually embarrassed, even at the end of the poem.

Personally, for this age-group, I thought it was perfectly acceptable, as did a small handful of women, plus all the guys, yet the discomfort felt by many, was obvious........


Her body glistens in the light
I want to hold her tight all night

Her beauty is beyond compare
I stroke her with such love and care

Across her body, my hand goes
I love her dearly, I think she knows...

She looks so lovely I want to kiss
Oh, I've waited long for this....

I take a breath, my heart is beating
Nice and slow - it's our first meeting...

Another breath, the tension mounts...
I concentrate, each moment counts

I pick her up and hold her steady
This is it... we both are ready. ...

Our mouths, they meet as I hold her near
And take a drink of this ice cold beer......






#2017-04-27 16:43:13 by melcyan @melcyan

Paul, based on the language difficulty of your poem your students must have a high level of English language skills compared to my partner who has lived in Australia since 1989.


Personally, I find learning another language difficult. I also find talking to others about sex difficult. You dare to combine the two. Why??? I now know that not just Science teachers like me need to be kept away from teaching sex education but ESL teachers as well.


My partner and I find it easy to talk about sex because we feel 100% safe with each other. You cannot have a full and frank conversation about sex with another person if that person does not feel safe enough to have such a conversation. The reason for your female students feeling uncomfortable with your poem (apart from language difficulties) is probably due to the fact that they did not feel safe.


I taught sex education for the first time in 1984. That was intimidating and scary for me. I knew the Biology of sex education very well but that is only a small fraction of the knowledge required. Even worse was the fact that it was my job to supervise six other teachers teaching sex education. It took me several years to extricate myself and my Science faculty from that role. When I googled sex education earlier today, I was staggered to discover that Finland still teaches sex education within the science curriculum.


Relationship knowledge is the most important part of sex education. I found case studies a good way to explore relationship issues with students. The Canadian tv series DeGrassi Junior High was great for providing case studies of student relationships that could be explored in class discussions.


If China wants to develop a successful national sex education program for schools, then China should invest heavily in producing high quality, idiot-proof sex education videos. Only China could get away with using an approach like this. In a Western country, such an approach would never succeed due to massive opposition from organised religions and parent groups.  

#2017-04-28 12:00:45 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


The 'lesson' that I was teaching was how we use 'double ententre' in English, and all the students that were present have a high enough level of English in order to understand it.

I can assure you that all the students know me very well, and I would be extremely surprised if any of them felt unsafe.

As for teaching sex-ed in ESL - perish the thought, mate. The subject of this blog has already come under fire from many Chinese parents, so we'll have to wait and see what happens.


#2017-04-29 10:16:10 by jiansong @jiansong

While you do still run across these things especially in the countryside, I find this post outdated for the younger generations, but especially those living in larger, more Westernized cities such as Beijing and Shanghai.  Besides, I have heard female (Chinese) collagues mentioning watching porn to make up for the learning deficit.  I find other issues to be far more pressing today.  First, there is a lack of proper testing such as for the human papilloma virus (HPV) and insufficient access to and likely knowledge of birth control. Second, many Chinese men still view Chinese women as national property. This affects how a Chinese woman may be treated in the presence of a non-Chinese man, or how her parents will react to her dating choice (e.g., you!). Third, while pre-marital sex is less of an issue than in the past, pre-marital sex with a non-Chinese can affect a Chinese woman's marriage prospects in all but the most Westernized Chinese cities.  For these reasons, it is best to be serious and to take one's time.  Besides, thinking with the small head instead of the big one can result in poor marriage choices.  

#2017-04-29 11:47:52 by melcyan @melcyan

Teaching "double entendre" to the Chinese? Paul, I marvel at your ambition. You are a hopeless Monty Python addict. At some stage, you will have to accept that Monty Python is forever out the reach of the Chinese. It is even out of the reach of most Westerners.

#2017-04-30 19:59:54 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


I agree with you. Just today, my (Western) colleague (who is married to a Chinese) has had to accompany his sister-in-law (along with his wife) to a hospital in a nearby city so she can have an abortion. She already has 2 kids. They know NOTHING about 'birth control' - in fact, abortion IS a form of birth control in China!

I also know many Chinese women who watch porn. Not because of what it is, but because they feel they can actually LEARN from it.

I do disagree with your last point though. Asian women are awesome liars when they want to be. They would NEVER reveal the fact they had slept with a Westerner if they thought it could damage their reputation, yet many that I know (or have known in the past), are extremely curious when it comes to the stereotype Western men have of being 'big' in the trouser-snake department.

According to research I have done, I am what would be called 'average' (typical six-inches), but Chinese condoms do not fit. Therefore, whilst I have no idea as to whether or not the Western stereotype is true, or that Chinese/Asian men have small dicks by comparison, the fact that Chinese condoms are somewhat useless, speaks volumes.

Thanks for your reply/comment.

#2017-04-30 20:11:31 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Mate, I'm an optimist, lol.

I do have a few students who 'get' at least some Monty Python, and after showing a small group of students 'The Two Ronnies - Four Candles', they are hooked. I also teach a small class of 10 students who are addicted to the ancient ' Mind Your Language'

Double entendres can be explained - it may take a while to sink in, but explaining in Chinese always works and they often 'get it'.

“The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.”



#2017-05-01 02:42:39 by jiansong @jiansong


Yes, there are manipulative women everywhere.  But if you meet her friends, family, and neighbors, then she cannot lie can she?  ;)  If she claims to want marriage but does not introduce you to them, then it is a red flag.

#2017-05-01 15:36:34 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


You seldom meet a Chinese woman's parents until you at least agree to marry her. As for her friends, that's possible, but she could still deny that any intimacy took place.

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