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Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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Suffocating Under Words Of Sorrow    

By Imi
1404 Views | 13 Comments | 10/12/2018 2:23:52 PM
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(Showing 11 to 13 of 13) Previous 1 2
#2018-10-21 05:40:24 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

@melcyan

 

"However, the reality is that we remake ourselves every day."

 

I beg to differ, Melcyan. I think we keep adding something to our very beings. Remaking ourselves every day suggests that we can't change. With adding something new, like a bit of cobblestone to the road, with the same blueprint, the identical DNA, to who we are, we keep our identities. It is only the direction of our lives that might change slightly.    

 

Remaking our relationships every day makes more sense to me, though. Seeing someone as we've seen them for the first time is the blueprint we fall in love with. If we get lazy and get someone's love granted, we are bound to fail. We need to find . . . No, not finding, better say, we need to able to see the moments, seconds and minutes that represent themselves every day in a relationship and use them as mortar to make that relationship stronger and conclusive. 

 

"Why were so many opportunities missed?"

 

It's not fear as you suggested. I think it's complacency.

#2018-10-21 19:09:15 by melcyan @melcyan

 

The whole point of my comment “ the reality is that we remake ourselves every day” was to remind us all that we really do have the power to change who we are every day. So my intention was the exact opposite of your interpretation, “Remaking ourselves every day suggests that we can't change.”

 

There is another similar saying “we are the sum of our habits” The more time we spend our day in a state of presence then the more conscious we become of the actions that remake us. We have the power to make small changes in our behaviour or drastic changes at any time. My life has changed drastically at least 8 times. The last major change was starting the relationship with my partner The responses that I have chosen to adversity in the past shaped my future and who I became. I firmly believe that we have multiple successful futures in front of us. These possible futures can be very different from one another.

 

I remade myself before my relationship with my partner started. A friend's death from cancer made me be prepared to be more open with my feelings and even risk failure and humiliation. My friend’s death changed me. My partner changed me. To be more accurate my choice of responses to these changed circumstances changed me. I will continue to change until the day I die. I am the maker of “me” and the shaper of the multiple “futures” that lie before me.

 

You said “Remaking our relationships every day makes more sense to me, though”

Changing yourself and changing your relationships are part and parcel of the same process.

 

Do we miss valuable opportunities in our relationships out of fear(avoidance) or complacency?

 

Fear is a strong word but when we avoid facing up to an honest communication, for the first few times at least, we are deliberately avoiding rather than being complacent. Avoidance can turn into complacency when we start believing it is no big deal and everything is basically ok.

#2018-10-22 19:11:55 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

@melcyan

I get what you mean now. Thanks for explaining. We're still on the same page relationship wise.

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