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Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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While She Sleeps 当她在熟睡中    

By Imi
775 Views | 10 Comments | 4/16/2020 11:58:55 AM

“Beautiful” —the word elbows my tired mind with force. It feels like a horseman spurring his exhausted mare to get going. It's useless. After a restless night, my mind cannot understand the scene at all: a hairy forearm, white skin, obviously mine, cuddling a female torso. The lower part of the female body is cut off from view by the bed sheet at the waist, right where it curves and becomes the hip. The legs are invisible, mere bumps under the cover. What I'm seeing is a strange, distant image, as if looking through a telescope and watching someone peacefully sleeping in a sandstorm. I rub my eyes to get all the sand, dirt, and grit out. Almost immediately, I start to see clearly. The sandstorm has petered out, and I realize that my wife is sleeping in my arms.

 

After one thousand thirty-five days, I can finally whisper the words that my wife, Janessa, is with me. I’m still afraid of yelling it out loud because of the high possibility of shattering the present into pieces and finding myself alone again—alone, in the past. And what is more terrifying than living alone? Dying all by yourself, I guess. But why am I thinking of death and the past all of a sudden? I should be happy and full of life, enjoying what I have—we have—fought so hard for. If I want to be true to myself and my feelings, though, I have to admit that I feel very tired, and my weariness prevents me from relishing the fruit of my work. I can see my wife, but it seems the door that has been closed for so long is still sealed, and the fighting will never stop.

 

I don't know about Janessa's feeling on the subject, but for me, it feels like waiting for the movie theater to open its doors. I’m waiting in the lobby and can only see a poster of the featured movie. Even though it is skillfully painted, it doesn’t reveal a lot. My wife of three years is still a mystery to me. The image (the poster) is there—her face, resting on the pillow—but what will happen once the doors are open? What will happen when we really start to live together? Is it going to be a success? Is it going to be a failure? I have always regretted wasting my time on terrible movies.

 

This is the first morning when I wake up, in my own bed, next to her. She is a living person, not an image anymore, and it scares me. Her head makes a dent in the pillow, disheveled hair framing her face. Her warm breaths tease the fine hairs on my forearm as I reach over to clear a long thread from her face.

 

She’s very real and beautiful. I repeat this in my head a few more times as if rehearsing from a manuscript, and then I suddenly sit up in bed as a realization clears my mind.

 

The movie has already begun. The usher has left. And my wife is pulling me into her world to be her lead actor.

 

"美丽"--这词敲动着我疲惫的大脑充满了力量.它感觉如同一个骑马者鞭策他精疲力尽的母马前进.但这没很大作用.之后这个不眠之夜,我的头脑根本无法理解这一幕:一只毛茸茸的前臂,白皙皙的,很明显是我的,搂抱着是一个女性的身躯.这女性身体腰部的下半部被床单从视线中断,恰恰这腰部曲线就变成殿部,腿被盖住了无法可见.我感觉看到是一个奇怪,遥远的肖像,彷如通过望远镜观看着一个人在沙尘风暴中平静的熟睡着.我揉揉眼睛,把沙子和风尘都抹掉,很快,我开始看清楚.这沙尘风暴已逐渐消失,我这时意识到是的妻子正熟睡在我的臂弯里.

 

一千零三十五天之后,我可以小声的告诉的我妻子,Janessa ,我们终于一起生活了.我还是害怕大声喊出来,因为很有可能会被现在这一刻打的支离破碎,发现自己又回到孤独了--孤独,过去.还有什么比孤独的生活更可怕?我想,就随着孤独而死去吧!但是为何我忽然想着死亡和过去?我应该充满快乐的活着,享受着我所拥有的--我们曾之为努力而奋斗过的全部.然而,如果说;我和我的感觉,我必须承认我真的很累,我的疲惫没法让我享受曾经努力付出所换来的硕果.我能看到我的妻子,但似乎那扇门关闭了很长一段时间了,我感觉到它依然关闭着的,这思想斗争还是不停在打斗着.

 

我不知道Janessa对这个题的看法,对我来说,感觉像是在等待着电影院开门一样.我在大厅等着,仅仅只能看这精选的电影海报.尽管画的很巧妙,但并没有显很多.我结婚三年的妻子对我来说仍然是个谜.这影像(海报)就在那里--她的脸枕在枕头上--但是一旦这门打开了会发生什么呢?当我们真正开始生活一起的时候会发生什么呢?会成功吗?会失败吗?我总是后悔把时间浪费在糟糕的电影上了.

 

这是我醒来的第一个早晨,在我自己的床,她在我身边.她是一个活生生的人,不再是一个影像了,这使我害怕.她的头上枕着的枕头是凹下去的.凌乱的头发遮着她的半边脸.她温暖的呼吸使我前臂的茸毛微微的拂动起来,我伸手拂去她脸上的一根根的发丝.

 

她是非常真实和美丽.我脑海里又重复了几遍,就像排练稿子一样,忽然间我从床上坐了起来,恍然大悟.

 

电影已经开映了. 引座工作人员已经走了.我的妻子拉着我进去她的世界成为她的主角.

 

 

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Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 10) 1
#2020-04-16 11:58:43 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

This is yet another very interesting and thoughtful blog by Imi about an experience involving his waking up to the presence of his lovely Chinese wife. If you are new here I urge you to go read Imi's blogs from number 1 all the way to this one.

If you do and you're Western male you will develop a much better ability to understand Chinese women by learning through Imi's experiences. You will also understand how perseverence in online Chinese dating on a real dating site like CLM can lead to your ultimately being in a wonderful place with a fantastic lifemate.

If you are Chinese female, by reading Imi's blogs, many of which include a Chinese translation, you will come to understand the difference between most Western men and most Chinese men in the way they feel and show a strong romantic love for the woman who has won their heart.

Due to a mistake on my part this blog should have been posted a few months ago. I apologize to Imi and to all members for mistakenly waiting so long to post it. But please do enjoy it now.

#2020-04-16 19:10:39 by newbeginning @newbeginning

well written Imi, I know there are more than a few men and women here who will find solace in your words.

 

NB

#2020-04-16 20:26:06 by Grace172 @Grace172

Wow, congratulations Imi! How wonderful to read your romantic love story again and know that you have married with your beautiful wife for almost 3years. This is the most exciting news for me when I come back to read the blogs after I out of CLM for several years. She must be a wise and lovely woman who caught your heart. I think many of your female fans will jealous her. Haha. I am looking forward to read your next episode as I am interested in how you feel living with a Chinese wife from a western man's view.
John, not need to apologize, just post all the rest episodes at once then we will forgive you. 😜😜😜🤭🤭🤭

#2020-04-17 16:45:16 by melcyan @melcyan

Thanks for the blog Imi, I enjoyed reading it.

 

@Grace172 Welcome back, great to see you.

 

#2020-04-18 00:07:11 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

@newbeginning

I'm not sure if those men and women you've mentioned in your comment do find solace in my words, but I definitely find comfort in linking words together. If my article makes them feel something, that's not my fault. :) My primary purpose in writing is to gather my feelings and thoughts in an orderly fashion and project them on a piece of white paper, so I could peruse them when I'm old. They are nothing but projector slides of my existence, here and now, and there in the future when I will be capable of doing nothing but reflecting on my youth. 

 

@Grace172

To me, Grace, witnessing your sudden emergence from behind thick shades of many years of self-exile was something that made me say, wow! Looking at your picture, I must say you haven't changed at all. :) You're still beautiful, and, after reading your recent comments, your witticism would never be blunted by time. Your husband is a lucky man. With one of your sentences in your comment, you gave me an idea for writing a series, and I might act on it. However, I will only do it if you stay here and read it. This title popped into my head: How to Tame and Live with a Chinese Dragon. What do you think?

 

#2020-04-18 14:19:48 by oldghost @oldghost

@imi why tame?  Why on earth would you want to tame a free, a wild spirit? ;(:)

#2020-04-18 23:50:34 by newbeginning @newbeginning

@Imi, I am quite confident you know what the word "solace" means. I was only meaning that I hope more than a few men and women here will find comfort in your words. Meaning they too can find that "special person", to not give up their search/quest.

I think you should write a blog based on the title you suggested to Grace.

I look forward to your next writing...

NB

#2020-04-19 11:54:15 by Grace172 @Grace172

@melcyan Thank you, my dear old friend. Great to see you again too. Wish everything goes well with you.
@Imi5922
"wow! Looking at your picture, I must say you haven't changed at all. :) You're still beautiful," hahahaha. Seems you become a little bit naughty after you've got married. I feel jealous that when a woman is getting old,her beauty only has been kept in her old photos while a man becomes more attractive when he is getting old. I see the photo of you and your beautiful wife, you look much more handsome than your old photo.:)
"Your husband is a lucky man." I bet he will 100% disagree with you. I can feel that he is frustrated and exhausted in trying hard to tame a wild horse. 😂😂😂
"This title popped into my head: How to Tame and Live with a Chinese Dragon. What do you think?" Well, You know I am one of your big fans,I love to read your writing. But in my opinion, seems it is not too appropriate if you use this title as a metaphor for how you deal with your relationship with your Chinese wife. I mean, why "tame"? My husband always sait that he loved me. Yes, he did a lot for me and spoiled me. But I feel that I am like one of our pets. He and I love our KitKat and dog so much and we take good care of them. But we don't need to respect them,right? Just order and tame them. You know what I mean. I don't want to be loved as a pet. I need respectful. Husband and wife should respect each other but not tame or control each other,right? Unfortunately he doesn't understand this till now. So I call him control freak sometimes. I believe you are not like him, so you are not intending to tame your Chinese dragon, right?

#2020-04-19 21:53:06 by Imi5922 @Imi5922

@Grace172

@oldghost

"Tame." I meant it with sarcasm, but I get what you mean.

#2020-04-20 19:17:28 by Grace172 @Grace172

@Imi5922
That is great! Looking forward your new series. And I am curious about what happened after she woke up. Haha.

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