Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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What is Love? Part 1    

By Paul Fox
850 Views | 12 Comments | 5/14/2018 12:40:19 PM

OK, so I may have been a little 'quiet' of late, but Ryan's recent blog, titled 'International Dating - Happy Ending?', sparked something within me that I want to talk about.

That old-fashioned word.....'Love' - what does it REALLY mean ?

This blog is going to be in two parts because one would simply be too long !

'What is Love?' ('Baby don't hurt me....don't hurt me, no more'.....yes, they are song lyrics going round in MY head just like they are going round in yours, lol)

But seriously, does ANYONE really KNOW what 'love' really is?

This may seem a bit 'rash', but I think I have found the answer......YES.....REALLY !

So, why did Ryan's blog hit a 'nerve' with me? Probably because he was talking about his love for a 'hooker'. can't fall-in-love with a bar-girl !!!!!

Well actually, we can fall in-love with anyone, no matter who they are or what they do for a living.....Allow me to tell you why......

For the purposes of this blog I am going to ask you to take a 'step back' and humour me for a me, it will all make sense in the end......

WHO are you? Right now, as you read my drivel, you are going to identify yourself as one of several 'things'.

Take John Abbot for example. He's told us that he's a retired lawyer; we know he's married to a Chinese lady, and that he's a family-man. He also owns this web-site.

So, if you asked John who he is, he might say any, or all, of the above.

He's going to 'identify' himself depending on the conversation he's having at the time, and will put himself in 'context' during that conversation - just as we ALL would.

So, when John looks at himself in the mirror, who does he see?

Maybe he sees a retired lawyer.

Maybe he sees the owner of CLM.

Maybe he sees a family-man. (Stay with me on this)

So when Ryan looked at Om, what did he see? Did he see a hooker, or did he see a lovely human being?

If you've read his blog you'll see that it's the latter - at least that's what I'm seeing....

So suddenly he's supposed to feel 'guilty' for falling in love with a lovely human being, just because she works as a bar-girl ?

Having worked in China for 3 years, I know EXACTLY what most Chinese people would think, because Chinese people have a tendency to be somewhat 'judgemental', (No offence intended).

So, who IS Om? Is she a 'lovely human being', or is she just a 'hooker'?

Don't you find it strange that we have this crazy need to 'pigeon-hole' everyone? We need to 'label' them for some kind of ridiculous identification purposes.....

I recently met a couple who have 2 x Autistic kids. Jeez, it's hard work for these guys, but the 'pay-off' brought tears to my eyes. The mother said to me, "It may be hard work, but the love that I get from my kids is 100% pure; no lies, no BS, no manipulation, just 100% PURE LOVE!'

For those who don't know, autism comes in different levels, but the underlying factor means that everything you say is taken as being literal. It's hard to joke or have fun with these kids because everything is taken so seriously......

Therefore, when one of them gives you a hug and says 'I Love You', you KNOW that this is PURE love - something many of us miss out on......

Anyway, I digress......

People such as Ryan, (who fall in love with hookers), are often chastised and berated, yet none of us know the full story unless it's told.

Who is Om? Is she a lovely person, or is she a 'hooker'? (In your own opinion)

Quite frankly, who cares? Who are WE to judge another's feelings for another human being, regardless of the job they do?

Most of you will agree, yet you'll still do it tomorrow.....and the day after.......

People join a dating site in the hope of finding 'love', yet most people don't even know what it means.....

I'll tell you in Part 2.......

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2018-05-14 12:39:57 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

I am pretty much convinced that love is a highly subjective concept, and therefore the word "love" means different things to different people. It especially means different things to different people from different cultures, but even within a culture, what one person means by "love" is quite different than what another person means. And add to that, it means different things to the same person in different situations, different times and at different ages.

So, having said that, I will be quite surprised if you are able to come up with a meaning of "love" that is universal and that everyone can agree is the  one true meaning. I wish you well with that, but I have very strong doubts.

If you can, though, then you will have likely solved countless problems, and avoided endless disputes for countless couples around the world, once the word spreads of your having arrived at the universal meaning of "love".

Trump may have to move over and allow you to have that Nobel Peace Prize that wa heading his way.

We'll see what comes in Part 2 before we pass judgment though.(beer)

#2018-05-15 09:22:46 by Barry1 @Barry1



One interesting definition of love that I remember is this:


Love: a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, sparkles the eyes, raises the blood pressure and causes the lips to pucker.  


So do all of those in love have weak brains, high blood pressure and pouting lips?  Of course they do! :D

#2018-05-15 16:12:18 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Trump is up for a Nobel Peace Prize?

He's got troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, and he's currently bombing the shit out of Syria......

.......and there are those who say it's ME who's crazy !

#2018-05-15 16:13:22 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Your definition above is that of 'Eros'. I'll leave 'ewe' to do the research, lol.

#2018-05-15 19:10:13 by autumn2066 @autumn2066

Good view,Paul. Inspired for my narrow thought, thanks.

When people say: I love you.

Some of them mean: “I love your sexy body ( or money, greencard, successful career, high-status, ...etc.) If one day you lost these shining points, I will dump you.”

Some of them mean:“I love myself. I want to get some benefit from you. Once I have gotten what I want from you, or if someone better shows up into my sights of hunting,I will dump you.”

Some of them mean: “I could love you, and I want you to love me back, you have better make it fair, otherwise we done.”

Some of them mean: “I want to love you, no matter what.I want to raise you up, I want to take care of you. I will be happy seeing you happy. Even if you don't love me, my love still go on.”

Love appears in many modes of presentation, you might be fooled by fake love. Behavior speaks louder than words.

Wish everyone here has the luck of meeting true love, and the wisdom of choosing carefully.:)

#2018-05-17 01:08:42 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@autumn2066 - your words about the meaning of love are very wise. I hope many people read them and take heed.

You are quite active here which is a great thing. Maybe you should become a blogger here. That would be an even greater thing!


#2018-05-17 01:56:20 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@paulfox1 - you're watching too much MSM.  Trump's recent missile attack in Syria magically did not strike any stores of chemical weapons, nor any targets where civilians were easily endangered.  Two of the targets he hit were locations that were strictly operations pertaining to manufacture of chemical weapons, specifically Sarin, and one of which was a scientific a research centre used for the development, productions and testing of chemical and biological weapons. The latter facility was owned not by Syria, but by companies making up part of the military industrial complex.

Troops were in Afghanistan and Iraq long before Trump was elected, and it would be nuts to think that simply pulling them out en masse would be done easily. Of course it will be a painstaking exercise, but he says he's determined to do it. But add to that, the biggest issue in Afghanistan is the Opium trade, which is largely an ongoing operation of the CIA. Trump seems determined to bring the CIA back to heel and the troups in that country may need to play a large role in that.

Meanwhile, if he is able to denuclearize the Korean Peninsula and bring North Korea back into the real world, it would be impossible to argue he doesn't deserve the Nobel Peace Prize, especially considering that his predecessor got one for the mere act of being elected, and then went on to foment terrorism throughout the Middle East and much of the world.

And BTW, those who say you are crazy, generally say it in a caring, concerned way. Not as an insult.:D(beer)

#2018-05-17 08:06:46 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Autumn, you are 100% spot-on ! I really think you'll enjoy part 2. Take care !

#2018-05-17 08:18:06 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Kennedy wanted to bring the CIA to 'heel' and look what happened to him!

I NEVER watch MSN, or ANY 'fakestream media' for that matter, and as for your point about 'de-nuclearising', there's no such thing as 'nuclear'. The research is quite easy to do, but people don't generally have the time because they are too busy driving to work, in the car they haven't paid for, in order to do the job they need to do in order to pay for the car.

You are 100% correct regarding Afghanistan, even George H.W Bush was nicknamed 'poppy', (when he was head of the CIA), in reference to the CIA's drug-trade in Afghanistan.

As I say, it's amazing what a little research can do. Here's something for people to ponder on - with no prompting from me......


According to the Red Cross, and also an 'outfit' called 'The Almanac of World Religions', back in 1933 there were 15.3 million Jewish people in the world. In 1948 there were 15.7 million. That's a growth of 400,000 over 15 years.

I'll leave you to figure out what's missing here. People beLIEve what the MSM tell them, and that's that !


#2018-05-19 22:19:36 by freebird78 @freebird78

I agree with you on the point that the persons we look at in the mirror are in fact ourselves, or at least part of our true characters. You talk about pure love from autistic kids because they take everything seriously. Most normal people in this world talk above love or fall in love easily, but they don't take love seriously. I don't know what is your answer about love. For me, love is be kind to yourself and be kind to the rest of the world too. Maybe in Confucius words: Do as you would be done by others. So love as you would be loved by others. 

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