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Sarah Wang, a native Chinese, who could let you know more about Chinese culture and traditional custom and the way how Chinese female think and etc via the blogs. With these information, you might understand your Chinese spouse easier and reduce the clash between you and her. Certainly, I also would like to see more cultures from you through CLM platform. Everybody is my eyes.
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What do we want ?!    

By Sarah Wang
7587 Views | 10 Comments | 5/17/2010 2:53:13 PM

Sh, I am thinking what I want, pls not disturb me...

Recently Jiangsu TV has promoted a show called “If you are the one (Fei Cheng Wu Rao)”, which presents blind dates between single male and female. In the show, there is a man who is requested to face 24 girls to answer the questions. The girls might select him to carry on next round or knock him out by putting out the lights. It takes only 5 minutes for each gentleman’s interview. On May 3rd, the show played a British man named Alexander who was strongly recommended by his friends to participate the TV blind date. Eventually, he was out by two major reasons even all the audiences were touched by his humor in such a short time. One was his DJ work, RMB300 per day, the girls thought that it wasn’t a steady job with uncertain incomes. The other was his hobby: retrieve the junks for environmental protection. His bed was one of the recycled garbage. Mr. Le Jia, the commentator of the show, lately stated in his blog that it was a pity that Alexander had been eliminated for the realistic mating preference of 24 girls. He also encouraged Alexander could find a nice Chinese girlfriend who understands and stands by him.

What does Alexander need? What do 24 girls seek for? And what on earth do we want?

Actually it is a tough subject, because everybody has own perspective for it. Someone has no idea of what they want in the relationship -- curious, fresh and out of boredom, then lost in the end. Someone commences a new relationship with serious attitude – enjoy the fun together, be cared and be loved, then finally fear to take the responsibility for the spouse and the family. Another thing, with the heavier and heavier life stress, currently more and more emotions have been established on the basis of the economy. But do not forget, you expect something from the others while he/she has the similar desire from you. Either you are a good-looking person or has the ability to make more fortune for him/her. There is no such thing as a free lunch. Then the mutual feelings have been ignored. Staying and living together, but no sense of warmth and security. That’s why the man/woman finds the person who meets their requirements. But it still doesn’t work it out.

No offence for pretty woman or handsome man or rich people. Loving beauty is a spontaneously behavior. Money is a substantial stuff to make our better life quality. It is a perfect result if you own them by naturally way in the relationship instead of take advantage of the beauty or the finance involved in the relationship.

Perhaps we just make thing simple, simpler, and the simplest. The one believes pure love and works hard with a doable target, usually living in the optimism. Ask ourselves what do we want for our life? If you could figure it out, then the door of the happiness is always open for you :)

(Note:Jiangsu is a province of China located along the east coast of the country. And Nanjing is its capital. )

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 10 of 10) 1
#2010-05-18 20:13:57 by woaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

Hi Sarah,
I love your blog. I would like to hear more about this show. It sounds like a version of an old U.S. show called The Dating Game. Anyway, the issue of establishing a relationship on an economic basis is a tricky one. One certainly understands the need to have a spouse who is a good breadwinner. On the other hand, as you point out, overemphasizing the financial ability of a partner can distort the whole point of marriage, which I take it, is love, and love by its nature is not an economic commodity, or if it is treated like one, I would say it is no longer love. But the women's decision may not have been primarily economic. Most of the DJs I have known have not been very chengshu/wenzhong (mature/stable) individuals, and the women may have sensed that.

#2010-05-18 20:14:36 by yang1230 @yang1230

Do you like this ?

#2010-05-21 23:21:01 by northernlights @northernlights

Hi Peter, thanks for your comments. You may google "江苏卫视非诚勿扰" via internet so u'll see the show. I consent what you said. Some Chinese gals are used to be spoiled by parents, so wish bf overindulge them too. It assumes that you find a mature and stable lady, but no hormone reaction with you, how to do? Being immature or naive isn't a fault,perhaps not suitable for being a good housewife. You just need find the lady who is right for you.

#2010-06-04 19:05:10 by weisheng @weisheng

A nice writing...

#2010-08-03 11:50:51 by beckyting @beckyting

It's nice.Nice to meet you!

#2010-11-01 04:16:30 by rgk1048 @rgk1048

I'm just curious. What do most younger, modern Chinese women feel about older over 50 yrs old men. In Canada, no way an older guy is going to find dating easy. Its Date your own age over here. Or get called a creep and insulted. In S.E. Asia its totally different. No problem there for finding under 40 dates or even under 30. I've tried contacting Chinese women on an online site and so far not one reply. Totally ignored, the same as if I were on a Canadian dating site. Even women in their 40s won't reply and I'm not old looking or ugly. Nor Boastful. The only negative thing I can think of is my age. So Age is a big deal in China now...? Need some feedback......

#2010-11-01 04:18:32 by rgk1048 @rgk1048

Or maybe its my Chinese face since many Chinese women now state European or Caucasian man only. Another myth..... I'm not a typical Chinese man since I was not born in China, so I don't "beat my women". They beat me.....hahahah Just kidding.

#2012-09-11 06:42:48 by Jack1934 @Jack1934

at rgk1048
Must be something you are doing wrong because I am over 60 and have so many Chinese ladies I can't count. It may be your approach. I am marring a beautiful Chinese lady in October. She is very pleasing and trying to learn English as fast as possible. Ready to come back to the states and meet my family. She can't do enough for me, I am totally in debt to her for all she does. Lots of fun and grateful for everything I do. Everytime I try to get ahead I fall more behind.

#2013-09-28 05:10:58 by RobertB @RobertB

300人民币--是不是, 如果每天的收入,不是比较正常的? 
我不识到,但是我思维很多中国人赚钱,就是 一个月4-5千人民币。
在英国,我们有很多人只能挣1000英镑 --每一个月--所以差不多 万人民币
但是,他的床铺--从垃圾做的。 不行。 
我觉得, 对环境也许好,但是对人不好。
他也不支持环境。。 不同意。
I think that earning 300 RMB in China is more than £30 in UK.
I mean, cost of living is less, whatever you say.
Right now, if anybody wants to exchange 1 pound will still get more than 9 RMB. At the same time, accommodation depending on quality and location can cost maybe 3-4000 RMB every month. That is in Shenzhen.
Some food.. There will be some money that can be stashed away.
I mean, he is not rich? I mean who is? Who earns 20K but spends all is not rich at all. Same if you save 5000 but because you deny yourself you are not rich.
One test is such. can you just give maybe 1000RMB without a thought? Away ? And say: Ha! I don't need it, have it!
Sure, maybe you can, yet if you carry on, after like that you will ask for money yourself.
NO, there are no real rich people. Everyone has to be careful with money.
If someone spends 1 mln, then needs mln. That does not make them rich.
I know, I talk like that because I cannot throw 1000RMB away and feel that I am ok. Well I could.. Yet, what is the point?
Unless of'course that poor man, Alexander was earning that only on odd days and nights.
On the other hand, I cannot imagine a normal woman who wants to sleep on trash bed. That is something that could be very good for someone trying to detach herself from reality but then, why would she need a man?
Having a lover means that you have to this way or another acknowledge that you are not the only human around. There are others and try to adjust this or that and make it work. Or, learn how to be on your own, well that has been mastered to a degree anyway, haven't we?

#2013-09-28 05:21:14 by RobertB @RobertB

Well, I have read everyone's notes and I wonder if to a degree it is not true that fate is what matters.
Yes, we choose. I mean we can try to be as happy as we are with what we have. Yet there is always something else that eludes us.
Once I driving in a morning, I got sleepy and wow-- here I was about to hit a roadside bumper. I just thought -- I cannot afford any trouble!
Wow, it was plastic one, no one noticed and I got back on the road with no scratch!
I mean, seriously, there are men beating women, women beating men,
successful men with deceases, bad wives... Rich women, extremely unhappy. Abused by whatever and whoever.
It is about us.. What we really need. What we really want.
Extremely hard. Whatever you want is because you do not have it.
When you have it, you do not want to.
So, you need to enjoy your life as it is right now and do not care.
I mean, all those successful people, did Bill Gates want to make 200 billion or even trillion dollars?
Whatever? Doubt it. Just did want felt had to be done and was fun.
Same with love and finding right person in your life.

haha, I hope I am not that far off the truth.
Anyway, what does it matter?
Wish you all well. Time passed, life carries on, as usual.

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