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John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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We Have All Lost a Dear Friend and a Guiding Light

By John Abbot
8048 Views | 36 Comments | 2/24/2015 6:24:22 PM
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(Showing 21 to 30 of 36) Previous 1 2 3 4 More...
#2015-02-26 08:53:13 by AchelleVinzons @AchelleVinzons

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

- From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

To Gareth, a man whose heart was even bigger than his presence. You will be missed. Rest now, in peace.

#2015-02-26 17:21:25 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Thanks again to all for the great thoughts and expressions of your feelings for Gareth. I hope he is somewhere in a state in which he is cognizant of how much he was loved, admired and appreciated by all of us.

Just so you know, we are thinking of a means of doing something that will help his wife and daughter in some way, as this is likely imposing a financial burden on them, However, repeating myself, we're waiting to speak in detail with Gareth's sister, Janet, before reaching any decisions.

We'll update you all soon.

#2015-02-26 21:35:24 by Barry1 @Barry1

@melcyan

"Gareth was a very good man with unique talents and insight. He was my favorite blogger. I will miss him greatly."

I agree with you, Melcyan. Gareth was my favorite blogger also.

Yet I also miss other bloggers who have now stopped posting, for whatever reason.

Neil Yaun was a particular favorite of mine. In certain respects, he and Gareth were quite similar. Both were extraordinarily sincere, sensitive and downright fine human beings.

@kahnsfury was Neil's handle. If you have time, do yourself a favor, go back and read a few of his articles.

Over a period of several months, I have intermittently attempted to draw Neil back to this website through sending him a message. Unfortunately I have yet to receive a reply.

I wonder to this day, whatever happened to Neil, who like Gareth, was a big man physically. If he had died suddenly, probably no one here would have been aware of this fact. It was only by accident for example, that we found out about Gareth's death. Had Paul not been a personal friend of his and phoned him up, how would we have ever found out about the tragedy? Quite possibly many months (or years) would've dragged by without a word from him.

Life is certainly a very strange and frustrating thing sometimes, isn't it? :(

#2015-02-27 13:12:28 by Barry1 @Barry1

@JohnAbbot

John, further to my note about the mysterious disappearance of long term blogger Neil Yaun @kahnsfury may I add the following.

As discussed, were it not for the fact that Paul by sheer accident happened to phone up Gareth just after he died, none of us here may ever have known about this, especially once his burial had taken place and Gareth's contact emails and phone numbers had been discontinued.

This somehow doesn't seem right.

May I respectfully suggest that should a long term blogger decide to cease blogging, that you request he or she please formally advise CLM of this? This is what Panda has recently done, for example. She openly told us to expect no further articles from her.

PROPOSAL:

My idea is that if a certain time period passes without a fresh article or comment appearing from a missing LONG TERM blogger, CLM then does its best to contact them, to ensure everything is okay.

To this end, CLM could request from every long term blogger a private contact number of a friend or relative who could be contacted, just in case the worst has happened. Similar in one way to a soldier wearing "dog tags" so he can be identified at any time. The blogger of course would give permission for this to occur.

The time period involved could be say, two, three or four months. Whatever you reckon is appropriate.

The alternative to this of course is to simply do nothing. Assume the blogger has decided to go his or her own way. But what if they haven't? What if they've had a terrible accident and are lying in hospital or even worse, have passed away? Wouldn't you and every other CLM forum regular like to know this?

I define a "long term blogger" as someone who reaches say, 50 or so articles. The number is not critical, whatever you want.

I know this would take time and effort on CLM's part. It would take away slightly from its potential profitability, as time is money, after all. I acknowledge this.

Otherwise I'm happy to do this myself, John. If I see a long term blogger suddenly disappear from the site for two or three months, I'd be happy to politely and discreetly follow up on what's happened. Providing (as discussed above) that the blogger has previously given permission for this to occur.

In this way, Gareth's sad passing would give us all yet another valuable lesson on the meaning, importance and yes - the fragility - of life. I'm sure he would have been pleased with this.

#2015-02-27 17:43:39 by sunrise68 @sunrise68

Gareth played an important part in this website, he offered many wonderful blogs and comments, which are helpful to me and through which I sense he was an intelligent, down to earth, respectable man. His passing no doubt is a big loss to us all.
Life is fragile, sigh
Sincere Condolences

#2015-02-27 23:55:38 by Nora1216 @Nora1216

Dear Garreth,although I don't know you and I haven't read your blogs, but seeing John and many friends here expressed their appreciations for your articles, I decided to find some time to peruse them. At this moment I want to say to you, although you have left us, but you left a lot of precious words and thoughts, you will be missed by all your readers.

#2015-02-28 17:25:50 by zqy2014 @zqy2014

First I am so sorry and sad to hear about this news. I did read some of blogs of Gareth when I was a new member here almost one year ago. I do have impression he is a very kind and positive guy from his blogs.Yes he is overweighted from his blog but we never feel his negative thoughts about that or any negative response on others’ remarks related with that.So in my mind, he has a very kind and forgiven soul. It is a loss for his own,CLM family and all people who like or love him. It is a pity and loss for us to lost such person from our team, life and the world in such young age. Yes, we can feel his strong and immense love to China from his blogs and this make us believe he must have a loving heart for all people around him. Our world need more of this kind person to positively influence us and make the world to be more peaceful and harmony.I have not been here for some time due to my personal reasons but I feel I must write something to memory Gareth and show my deep respect and appreciation to him and his positivity.

Life is so weak and fragile regardless of age, gender,wealth or position in the societ.This make us to feel we need treat well ourselves and also cherish all those people who we think are deserved our cherish before it is too late. Overweight, addictions of alcohol,drugs,games,food,work and mental diseases more and more become threats of our health. Being both physically especially mentally healthy is highly important for us. Most of us know physically health is important for us and don’t know how and where those physically diseases were generated from. As according to psychological articles, most of our physically diseases are from our unhealthy habits and negative thoughts, feeling, emotions inside of us. Thus, proper and healthy releasing and management way of our stress and emotions is vital for us. Long term negative thoughts and emotion are just like poison for our body which continuously generates poisonous cells and accumulates into our body days and days.These poisonous cells will constantly degrade our body organs’ function. The more expectation or requirements we have, the bigger stress we will give to our body. Stressful body like an overloaded car make the tyres & other mechanical appliances get to be worn out earlier. Basing on these, easy, humorous, optimistic, often laugh,forgiven traits are valuable for us to have. When you want to be angry or lose temper, just stop a while and think if you want to poison yourself and the others around. When we are responsible for ourselves, we will responsible for the others around and the relationship. So hope all of us can take good care of us, try best to be happy, laugh more, be healthy and treat well others around too.

Gareth is gone, but his positivity and heartfelt love to China & all people around will always live in our heart.His leaving give us a lesson about health, love and life. Hope he can have a quiet and peaceful time in the heaven and a better next life cycle.

#2015-03-01 13:21:25 by Barry1 @Barry1

@Nora1216

"although you have left us, but you left a lot of precious words and thoughts, you will be missed by all your readers"

Thank you Nora, for caring about our good friend Gareth.

He was indeed a prime example of the old saying,

"You don't fully realise what you've got till he's gone"

I think nearly everyone on CLM who knew Gareth will now be thinking these words, wishing they'd taken a moment or two longer to read, understand and fully appreciate this fine gentleman's playful wit and abundant wisdom, that he so often generously shared with us all here.

#2015-03-01 18:33:02 by xin73 @xin73

It was a heartbreaking news.Thousands of words can not express my condolences to you.Go well all the way,Gareth!you'll live in our hearts forever.

#2015-03-01 19:30:29 by Barry1 @Barry1

@sunrise68

"Gareth played an important part in this website, he offered many wonderful blogs and comments, which are helpful to me and through which I sense he was an intelligent, down to earth, respectable man"

You are quite right, Sunrise68. I also formed the view that Gareth was not only the most respected blogger on this website, but was an exceptionally down to earth, pragmatic, intelligent and considerate person.

The CLM website is definitely the poorer for his passing. I feel great sympathy now for his family, especially his newly married Chinese wife and 13 year old step-daughter. Gareth now is at peace; they are now the ones that will be hurting unfortunately for a long time to come. :(

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