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John Abbot is co-owner of Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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We Have All Lost a Dear Friend and a Guiding Light    

By John Abbot
9452 Views | 36 Comments | 2/24/2015 6:24:22 PM
(Showing 11 to 20 of 36) Previous 1 2 3 4 More...
#2015-02-25 13:59:44 by canadianmike @canadianmike

I am shocked and in disbelief of the unfairness of life. That a man could pass away after finding the good life: the love of a newlywed wife, the love of a child, the love of his friends around him. I read all the words here and I simultaneously remember some of the choice passages of some of his blogs.
Although too busy with work, finding his new blogs would help me put away the noise of the day and escape to some far off place while he talked of amazing places, people, and food. I had read some multiple times just because, as John states, Gareth wouldn't just tell the story. He took you *there*! You could read the words and close your eyes, visualizing what his passion could convey.
I wish to reach the levels he did with his words, the life he found, and the friends who surrounded him near and far.
My heartfelt condolences.

#2015-02-25 15:32:25 by QinQL @QinQL


I want to talk some with Gareth's wife. Thanks for telling it to her. I thought Gareth must hope his wife and their son better though he passed away.


此时此刻,我想握住你纤弱的双手 ---- 在这个最最寒冷的冬天 。

我已有45岁了, 我猜你会比我小,请允许我称呼你妹妹吧。妹妹,从今以后,你将面对,不仅要照顾好自己, 还要抚养儿子长大的艰难。请不要害怕。CLM这里众多的姐妹有好多有着和你相似的经历,她们都顺利地走过来了。我也只有一个女儿,刚满14岁,我是几乎从怀孕开始就没有丈夫的陪伴。但孩子给了我一个最大的力量和勇气,我不断地提醒自己,我可以做好我自己,我可以照顾好我家宝宝,我可以给到我们自己的快乐。家人和周围的朋友也给予我们热情的帮助和关心。



#2015-02-25 16:58:36 by anonymous13023 @anonymous13023

God bless you, Gareth! We all will miss you!

#2015-02-25 17:34:39 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Everyone, I have now heard briefly from Janet, Gareth's sister, who messaged me just before boarding her flight to take her home to Australia. She has promised to connect with me again as soon as she gets settled back at home, and then I hope I can give everyone some more details and can indicate how we might try to pay tribute to Gareth.

Janet did correct me on one item, which I clearly managed to misunderstand during my chat with Paul about Gareth's passing. He did not leave behind a young son, but a 13 year old step-daughter. My apologies for that error.

@QinQL - what kind words you have written, and it is so like you to think to offer your thoughts and condolences to Gareth's wife, who must be devastated to have lost her husband so early into their hoped for life together. I am not in contact with Gareth's wife, but perhaps @Paulfox1 can advise us how we might be able to reach her. Meanwhile when I hear from Janet I will also seek that information from her, and then maybe we can think about trying to do something special for Gareth's wife and daughter in his honour and in their time of need. Thank you for reminding us of who has really lost so much with Gareth's passing.

Everyone, more will follow soon. Keep your tributes to Gareth coming, God knows he has earned them.

#2015-02-25 19:55:53 by Anniehow @Anniehow

Oh No! So shocking and sad...... Can't help my tears...I have been thinking about contacting him about translating his articles. I am half way with one of his best posts.

Wish I finished it earlier! He is one of the most insightful, keen observers of Chinese culture. Dude, you deserve our ultimate respect. Thanks for loving China and giving so much on and off CLM.

#2015-02-25 22:11:33 by Barry1 @Barry1

I was chatting to Tina tonight on QQ message service. I was still despondent over comrade Gareth's passing.

The conversation between Tina and I went something like this:

Tina: "You seem a little strange tonight. What are you thinking about?"

Barry: "I am thinking about Gareth, my friend from CLM who died a few days ago. He was only 46."

Tina: "But why do you not transfer your thinking?"

Barry: "What do you mean?"

Tina: "Shift your negative emotions."

This jolted me a little. She was right.

Barry: "Yes, it is no good being sad.

"It helps no one.

"Yet still, we must always think of our friends and remember them...."

Tina: "Your friend would not like many people to sadly feel for his leaving."

Barry: "Yes, it is true.

"We should celebrate Gareth's life.... not mourn over it....."

Tina: "I know he helped many people through his writing and his life."

Barry: "Yes, we should be thankful for our what we have.

"We must try to not waste time. We should try to make the most of every moment."

Tina: "Yes, you are right. Please do not think why Gareth left the world so young."

Barry: "What should we then think of?"

Tina: "Cherish each other and love each other, maybe tomorrow, we can not meet together? Why quarrel even if big thing or small thing,maybe we can not see each other tomorrow?"

The bottom line is Tina was dead set correct. Gareth would not have wanted grief and unhappiness at his passing. He would have far preferred a joyful celebration of his life and his presence here.

Thank you, Tina, for helping me to realise this.

And thank you, Gareth, for the privilege of being able to share some of your well meaning advice and your life with us. Your many articles, messages and helpful comments so abundant on this website will form an enduring and valued legacy of your time here. You won't be forgotten.

Farewell, my friend.

#2015-02-25 22:12:49 by melcyan @melcyan

What sad and shocking news. Gareth was a very good man with unique talents and insight. He was my favorite blogger. I will miss him greatly.

I wrote to him about a year ago on his profile. I was only going to write a few words but it ended up being quite lengthy. I pressed send and I got the message that I could not send an email to a male member. What I wrote disappeared.

I am sorry that I did not use a word processor to compose the email. I am sorry that I did not persevere with other ways of getting sensitive information to him. I am also sorry that I spelled his name incorrectly every time I made a comment on his blog. As a teacher I hate getting names wrong – it feels disrespectful. There was no one on CLM that I respected more than Gareth.

I think Gareth must have been a very gentle and easy going person to not push to have his name correctly spelled at the top of each of his blogs. I am so glad he found a partner and a step daughter to make his family. I am willing to be part of any gesture from CLM to show support for them.

Rest in peace, Gareth.

#2015-02-25 22:46:15 by SunnyME @SunnyME

I am so sorry to hear this bad news,feel very sad!Too shocking!
I really dare not face this reality because he was young and so kind...(u)

Oh,how can I believe it is true?

R.I.P.,our good friend!

#2015-02-25 23:21:38 by sandy339 @sandy339

I feel terrible since I knew it yesterday, and I feel there is a lump in my throat...
In this virtual community I never thought I would feel painful for a friend I never met.
I have accounted Gareth’s blogs: 104 blogs, what a big number! And how much time and care he put it, thanks a lot for that. He explored not only the relationships but also the very nature of human nature and society. His blogs shared his observation and life in China, and helps a lot for many people both in Eastern and Western world... Gereth’s blogs sound sharp and ironic, I would rather think because he cares, therwise who would like to say any words.
May you, Garreth, release from earthly cares and rest in peace.I pray for you...

#2015-02-26 06:46:07 by melcyan @melcyan


I went to sleep last night thinking about Gareth. I woke up thinking about Gareth.
The words I wrote last night about Gareth were written spontaneously on my word processor.

John Abbott, I need to say a heart felt thank you to you for providing a unique vehicle in the form of CLM that enabled Gareth to be Gareth.

We are all imperfect people living in a sea of imperfect humanity. I am amazed by how often human imperfections can meet and create something special. “Mistakes” are not necessarily good nor bad. They create new pathways that can be exploited.

You and Gareth are the biggest reasons I stayed on CLM.

CLM, Gareth and you are not perfect but the three of you are very honest, very unique and combine brilliantly.

Thank you so much for creating the unique pathway of CLM for the even more unique Gareth to exploit with his amazing insight, talent and humanity.

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