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I spent 20 years punching a time clock... then decided there had to be another way. Right now I'm sitting in a comfortable chair on a beautiful beach. There's a sweet, soft breeze in the air. In front of me, on the clear blue water, a boat drifts by. Maybe I'll go snorkeling this afternoon, or work on my tan. This is my kind of tropical paradise... cheap and unspoiled!
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Warning! Real Life Ahead!    

By Ken Silver About Asia
2883 Views | 3 Comments | 10/14/2012 1:47:13 PM

Have you ever noticed, how, far too often, real life intrudes on your very comfortable fantasy world? Oh, botheration! as my best friend Winnie the Pooh- I was speaking with him just the other day! - used to say. Just as you are ready to triumphantly this or triumphantly that - I always think about the woman I was destined to marry till I saw her holding hands by the side of the road with somebody else - mean old real life intrudes.

Real life! It just isn’t fair!

Well, maybe it’s the warm rain, but we don’t get so much real life here in the tropics. In fact, it’s pretty darn easy to avoid real life here in Southeast Asia! Just get yourself a nice hotel room and find yourself a pleasant little favorite restaurant. Ideally, they should be within a short walk of each other.

If you could find yourself a nice cheap place to have a good cup of coffee – not so easy, though; maybe around the brothels or the bars or the boxing rings or the hustlers with their whispered services… say, maybe they would know… no, they never hiss “Hey mister! You want a nice cheap cup of coffee?” …maybe somewhere in such neighborhoods you could find one.

Not in the tourist districts for sure. Heartless, expensive neighborhoods they are! Bright and shiny and engineered to steal all your money! Avoid them also, while you are at it!

Anyhow, where was I?

Ah, yes, avoiding real life.

Avoiding the whips and chains and dungeons of –oh sorry, that’s my fantasy life!-avoiding the stress and sorrows and disappointments of real life.

Real life can be defined as any event that falls between a continuum that starts with “dental appointment” and ends with “hunted by the Russian mob.”

Somewhere in that continuum you will find “rejection”, “bills due”, and “momma just slammed her front door in my face”. There are those who feel being rejected by mom is worse than being hunted by the Russian mob, but I can assure you having mom slam the door in your face is better than Boris and Ivan taking turns slamming your face into a door.

Above all, nowhere in the above real life continuum will you find “Sexy Martian princess materializes in my bedroom and begs me to hide her under the bed covers”.

Which, I trust, proves my point as to the basic botheration of real life.

Anyhow, as I was saying, in Southeast Asia the walk between your hotel and your cafe can be like a day with the Lost Boys in Wonderland. Strolling along, you are greeted by moonlighting college cheerleaders who invite you to join them in a hours long aerobic workout. (Should they express some concern as to just how down and dirty and sweaty you are prepared to get, just grin and mention my name.) Smiling travel agents stand by their doorways and call out exotic destinations to you as you pass. Barbecued shrimp vendors –did I mention that barbecued shrimp is to real life as garlic is to a vampire? - will invite you to their outdoor cafes.

Ah yes, and stop by the Arctic cold Post Office to mail some postcards to your working friends back home.

Real life! You don’t need it, and frankly, real life doesn’t really need you!

Let’s keep it that way!

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(Showing 1 to 3 of 3) 1
#2012-10-15 06:38:54 by gaspasser @gaspasser

So where is that beautiful beach??


#2012-10-16 13:21:38 by twilightsmith @twilightsmith

I'd say the Philippines. Thailand has nice beaches but they are usually filled with young traveler / party goers and you can't hear the waves for the loudspeaker music.
We were on Ko Chang once in Thailand a nice guest house on the end of the beach on the edge of the rocks. We had them put on a Donovan album, withing a few songs it was taken off and that trance music went back on.

#2012-10-19 02:37:48 by bmccull @bmccull

There are some lovely beaches on the islands near Sihanoukville (Cambodia). Try Koh Rong - in a 15 minute walk you can be the only person on the beach.

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