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39 years old, DancingShoes was born and raised in the rural part of Wuhan. Finishing her education in Beijing, she has a Bachelor's degree in Engineering. She has been working professionally and living in Xiamen for many years, but now calls Wuhan home. A single mother for 8 years so far, DancingShoes has been growing up along side her child, maturing more and more. Independent emotionally and financially and working as project manager in a large international engineering company, DancingShoes is well traveled around China and parts of Europe.
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Travel China: Colorful Yunnan 彩云之南    

By DancingShoes'
5055 Views | 14 Comments | 4/6/2014 2:52:17 PM
(Showing 11 to 14 of 14) Previous 1 2
#2014-04-09 20:55:01 by Barry1 @Barry1


"many Japanese and German people are embarrassed by the actions of their forebears and don't want to be associated with those actions in any way."

Yes Paul, you're right. I also have heard that many Germans feel a genuine sense of shame for the actions of their forebears. This is the reason why no one should actively dislike Germany or the Germans now. What's done is done. Time to move on.

You also said,

"I am happy to adopt the 'let bygones be bygones' approach, but as for 'forgive and forget' - NO WAY!"

Yes, you've again hit the nail on the head, Paul.

Just talking about it raises so many bad memories for me about what I've seen and read about the war that it's best to simply do as you say. Learn and remember the lessons of history, then let bygones be bygones.



You got it right, Melcyan. I spoke privately to Dancingshoes about this matter and this is basically what I said,

"If you had simply launched into a nice article about your experiences in Germany, this would've been fine. I'm sure it's a nice place now, with many good people. BUT sadly, you mentioned the war in the first few sentances of your article here, a big no-no. Because it refreshes so many painful memories, even 70 years later.

So when you write your next article about Germany (and I hope you do), please don't mention the war. Or if you do, write it in Chinese only, so ignorant Westerners can't read it!"


"I can understand my grandmother's hatred to the Japanese. In her youth she had to paint her face to black and dirty everyday"

Yes, the Japanese were a terribly barbaric race during the war. Yet look at them now - an extremely civilised society full of very polite people - vive la difference!

It seems that the 1930s and 1940s were just so different compared to how things are now. Many normally decent people were somehow made into barbarians during these turbulent times.

Then after the war, when many offenders were asked why or how did they commit such atrocities, often all they could say was, "I was just following orders." This excuse was generally not accepted however by the military investigators. Large numbers of those convicted of war crimes were either jailed or executed for their inhumane actions.


"I demand an apology from you."

Forget I said this, John. No apology is necessary. As Paul said, you simply used a slightly inflammatory phrase in my view, "forgive and forget". Your words weren't meant maliciously.

In fact, I commend you for publishing all of the above comments from everyone. As proprietor of this website, it would've been all too easy to simply have declined to print points you weren't particularly happy with. Selective editing. The fact that you chose to publish everything in toto however, shows that you're not just willing to dish it out from time to time to those who deserve it, but you're willing to cop it on the chin occasionally also, a strong testament to your overall excellent character.

At the end of the day, we all must remember also that this is a DATING SITE. John has injected extreme amounts of hard work, effort and money into it. In one way, we're all mighty privileged simply to be able to have a discussion about WW2 at all.

Given this, some would say we all should talk endlessly about matters related to love, internet dating and romance. Oh, and those pesky fairies at the bottom of the garden, continually flapping their little wings!

Though if everyone here all dutifully did this, what a very boring blog and forum area it'd be.

So damned if you do. And damned if you don't.

Anyway, it's time for all of us to move on. And please - no one mention the war - or at least, not for a while!

#2014-04-10 10:45:19 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot


Barry, obviously I hit a nerve somehow, but it certainly wasn't my intention to do so. I appreciate your recent comment advising you do not require an apology, but to at least some extent I think you deserve one.

First, it wasn't my intention to suggest that you were in anyway trying to prevent DancingShoes from writing about travel in Germany. That comment was aimed not at you but at the person or persons who DancingShoes was referring to when she wrote:

"It seems there are not so many people who like to talk of Germans or Germany, especially for the older people, they hate to talk about Germans and they think the crimes that the Germans committed in World War II were inexcusable. One of the friends here told me about his feelings to Germans like that."

I meant that we should not let our long held hatred of Germans cause them to prevent a Chinese woman of a much later generation write simply about travel in Germany. I didn't for a second suspect or mean to suggest that you would do such a thing. Your sense of decency and fairplay seems obvious from your blogs and comments, and frankly above reproach.

Regarding my mention of your Father, I do apologize for offending you by doing so, but again, it wasn't my intention do insult your Father in anyway. Just as your Father is your hero, so is my Father my hero, and for me to mention the two of them together should, in itself, tell you that I did so with all due respect.

I wasn't trying to put thoughts in your Father's head, nor my own Father's head. My point really was that all the brave men who fought for the ideals that the Nazi's were trying to squelch, such as, of relevance to this matter, the right to freedom of speech, might be pretty horrified to discover that 70 years later that very right was being denied by one or more German haters scaring a Chinese woman into feeling she couldn't write about travel in Germany.

But Barry, if you can set your anger aside for a moment, please at least recognize that I didn't "drag your Father's name into this". You brought him squarely into the discussion, not me. However, I sincerely do apologize for failing to state my meaning in such a way that you would recognize as unmistakable my intense respect for your Dad and every man like him who fought, often to the death, so that we, even several generations later, can continue to live in freedom.

And in that regard:

@paulfox1 - you're quite right that a better phrase to describe what I meant would be "let bygones be bygones" and not "forgive and forget". What I was feeling was not that we should forget the atrocities that took place, nor the lessons learned, but we should forget the intense feeling of animosity that burned inside us so many years ago, and avoid trying to heap it down upon the heads of those who have come into being generations later. We should indeed let bygones be bygones.

@melcyan - as usual, Basil Fawlty wins the day. Long live John Cleese!

#2014-04-11 22:36:44 by Grace172 @Grace172

Wow!!! Your father was a bomber pilot!!!(y)(y)(y) You are a HERO's son!

#2014-04-12 09:17:57 by Barry1 @Barry1


You are a HERO's son!"

Thanks for your kind words, Grace.

Yes, my father never spoke much about the war. But when he did, the stories were always fascinating.

He also had a bunch of medals he wore on his jacket on every ANZAC Day march. This is the official day of remembrance here, for all of our war veterans.

The Australians fighting in North Africa were commended in fact by none other than the famous German General Rommel.

Rommel remarked that if Aussie soldiers could somehow be commanded by German officers, this resultant army then would be the best in the world.

Rommel had a high regard for the fighting abilities of the Aussies, particularly given the famous "Rats of Tobruk" situation, where the Germans were able to overrun and capture EVERY strategic city in North Africa EXCEPT for the coastal town of Tobruk, which was being defended by the Australians. So he likened the Aussies to "rats" - an infernal pest that couldn't be eradicated, no matter how hard his forces tried!

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