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Gareth is an Australian who has lived in JiangSu, SuZhou (Heaven on Earth) for a few years - he is a keen observer of the Chinese people, Chinese culture and the changes that are occurring in China at break-neck speed. He can often be found on his a nightly 'perch' in front of his bar in the famous Bar Street in Suzhou, talking to the locals in his bad Mandarin, teaching the 'flower-selling girls' English, eating street food and smiling at the local chengguan (neighbourhood police). Gareth also has several other businesses in China around Business and English training. His experiences have been varied and interesting and his years in China have taught him to be wary of promises but excited about prospects, not a bad situation to be in!
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There is no 'need' in 'desire'!    

By Garreth Humphris
7959 Views | 23 Comments | 6/16/2013 2:38:06 PM
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#2013-09-15 06:00:57 by RobertB @RobertB

@mary0624
对不起, 我尝试写比较清楚, 但是我的最大的缺点是下面的:
·我不容以说出来我的心里的想法。 我不能说出来太清楚了。
但是我要提高我的沟通技巧。 ::))

#2013-09-15 17:47:38 by anonymous7356 @anonymous7356

For your information:

... what's more you can talk with her now decided what's more you can have with her in future.

which route direction you can talk with her now. decided where's future you can talk with her stay in.

#2017-01-28 12:35:53 by Anniehow @Anniehow

It is a powerful piece and I wish I read it earlier.

In one episode of Friends, Ross told Chandler, "It's not just that. I want  someone who does something for me, who gets my heart pounding." Here Ross is a guy who had one divorce under his belt. In American culture his yearning/requirement is probably quite normal while it sounds naive by the Chinese standards. 

This blog explains the somewhat conflicting view in these two cultures with the Chinese more oriented towards "needs" whereas the Western towards "wants" ( Gareth's "love" versus "desire"). Western seeking of independence and tolerance for individuality stems from this mindset. On the other hand, the Chinese emphasis on stability can keep a relationship and family grounded. It is both where the potential charm and conflicts lie in. Chinese ladies want to get away from the traditional prejudice but they may be unaware of the challenges of the other culture. The same inclination might apply to Western men. 

Is it possible that sometimes people seek long distance and /or cross cultural relationship to escape from reality around them?

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