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Born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Daniel has lived in Toronto, Canada for 28 years. He’s a loving father, practicing dentist, divorcee and a well traveled “citizen of the world”. Having had extensive experience with online dating, travel and life in the Philippines, Daniel will tell it like it is and will no doubt open some eyes. He is currently engaged to a Chinese lady that he met on CLM and will very soon get married. However, he's seen a dark side too. Get ready for the good, the bad and the ugly.
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The Ten Commandments For A Successful And Long Lasting Love Relationship    

By Daniel Chermont
5494 Views | 9 Comments | 3/11/2012 3:49:35 PM

Successful dating, and successful love relationships or marriages, require that certain rules be followed.

We do not live in a perfect world, but if we follow simple rules, just common sense, the world will be a lot better place for all of us.

The more I give to thee, the more I have. William Shakespeare

I. Love your partner dearly, fondly, unconditionally and under any circumstances rain or shine. Marriage is a sacred institution and love should always be present and should always prevail. Love is fruitful and kind but hatred is destructive and mean. It is ok to be angry sometimes, but never allow bitterness to poison your heart, your mind and your soul. She is your sweetheart and best friend and he is your protector and also your best friend. Love with actions, not words. Make your home a love nest, it is our responsibility to instill love and respect in our children’s hearts, we have a strong influence in the formation of their character and personality.

II. Say the truth at all times, at any cost. It is better to say a blunt, nude, crude and even hurtful truth than a sweet lie. If we say the truth, no matter how hard it is, will heal with time, a lie will just lead to distrust, sorrow, pain and sometimes will be an open wound forever. Omission is a passive lie. To hide the facts under the rug does not make it any better they simply will not go away and will surface sooner or later. The results can be catastrophic.

III. Trust your partner; always give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Do not have preconceived ideas or fantasize, you should be able to trust the person that lives with you. Trust, once broken, can be fixed but the cracks will always appear the reflection will be distorted from that point on and the image will never be the same.

IV. Be tolerant. Do not expect your partner to be 100% perfect at 100% of the time. Such a thing is utopia. We are all imperfect, including you and me. If you are tolerant with him or her probably the reciprocity Law of Newton will apply. Intolerance will create animosity. Rudeness can open the Pandora Box and unleash all kinds of evil and revengeful attitudes.

V. Always forgive your partner. Even in most of the sacred books forgiveness is encouraged. If you do not forgive, how can you expect to be forgiven? To forgive is divine and it unloads a big burden from the back of both, the one that forgives and the forgiven one.

VI. Respect your partner at all times. Encourage him or her. He is your hero and she is your heroin. Make a compliment and say something nice. Smile, a smile goes a long way. If you do not have anything good to say, better be silent. Do not say hurtful things. There is a moment in a discussion when we can cross the line and a simple discussion becomes a nasty confrontation and turns something trivial into an argument. Once a wounding word is said we can never take it back. It was said, “It is not what enter your mouth that kills you, it is what comes out of it”.

VII. Have endless, unlimited and unquestionable loyalty. Cheating is the fastest way to break the bond between two people; it is the road to disaster. It can even be forgiven, but very seldom will be forgotten. Is an affair,an immature teenager like adventure, flirting or jumping the fence worth jeopardizing or even ruining your relationship with your spouse? Not to mention all the disappointment, the pain, sorrow, the humiliation, the resentment, the feeling of betrayal and have being used. No adventure can justify this. Extreme loyalty makes a relationship strong as a fortress and solid as a rock. When people are loyal to each other under any circumstances, together they can brave any storm, navigate any treacherous and dire straits and reach together calm waters and dock safely.

VIII. Do small courtesies and surprise your partner. The best gifts are the unexpected ones, a small kiss, a tender caress, a compliment and a smile for example. Do not give her flowers only in commercial dates, bring a simple but lovely flower or a nice lingerie home and if she asks, “what are we celebrating”? Just say “our love, thanks for existing and being my dear wife”. Speak with your heart, not your mouth.

IX. If things get though and you are facing problems, sit together, analyze your options and share opinions. It is far better to solve problems together than to make mistakes alone. As they say, two heads always think better than just one. Don’t be arrogant, megalomaniac, egotistic, almighty and overpowering; give your spouse a fair chance, l share things, be flexible. Marriage should be a full partnership 24/7. Pride is the tool of fools.

X. Always listen to your partner. Give him or her the opportunity to express his/her opinions freely. Listen with total and undivided attention to his/hers points and concerns. Have an amiable conversation. Give each other carefully. Don’t plan the future of the kids or a major family project at the same time you are watching a show on TV. Turn the TV off, hold hands and talk looking eye to eye.Don’t forget a little kiss at the end of the conversation to seal what you agreed to do. This is the icing on the cake. Work always as a team.

My friends I sincerely wish you all from my heart good luck and a happy and healthy relationship. The success or failure of our relationships depends a lot on the way we manage things. Remember, a couple, means TWO and the TWO should work as ONE. The total fusion of body, mind and soul, this is what the union of a man and a woman should be all about.

May the peace, the eternal love and the blessings of the Lord be always upon you and your families.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 9 of 9) 1
#2012-03-12 11:26:56 by jericho7 @jericho7

You are a very good writer and deep thinker. I appreciate your wisdom and expirence.

#2012-03-12 22:04:42 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Daniel, this is a post filled with wisdom and food for thought for anyone in, or seeking to be in, a serious long term relationship. It is a rather happy coincidence that a Chinese lady member posted a forum thread at the same time, also listing 10 rules to live by when maintaining a love relationship. Her rules are not the same as yours, but her list compliments yours, and I found it interesting that two persons from very diverse cultures are expressing thoughts that follow similar paths.

#2012-03-13 08:56:02 by bmccull @bmccull

With regard to Rule VI ("He is your hero and she is your heroin."), isn't that really an extension of Rule I? Women are just as addictive. ;-)

Or did you mean 'heroine?'

We really do hang on your every word.

#2012-03-14 04:34:46 by pourquoipasamour @pourquoipasamour

Hi McCull,

Thanks for your comment. Yes, I meant "heroine" and not the drug, of course. I run twice different programs to correct misspellings, but it is easy to see why this one slipped through, both words exist. There is also first language interference, that will be present to the last day of my life even though I moved to Canada almost 30 years ago. In my native language heroi is the man and heroina is the woman. Nouns in my language have gender. Mind you "heroina" applies for both, the courageous lady and the dreadful drug, the distinction is made when you apply the word in a sentence, it will depend on the subject you are discussing. I notice also that in one of the articles I wrote "succes" instead of success. I am a terrible typist and make lots of typos. It was accepted by the spelling correction software I use, because in English you use the French expression "succes d'estime", which is success through critical appreciation, as opposed to popularity or commercial gain. The first thing that comes to my mind is the famous sentence of Charles Chaplin "I love my imperfections, I could not live without them". Regarding rules I and V! it is difficult not to be redundant when talking about a subject as love. The idea in rule VI was to highlight what I heard once from a British friend "there is a moment in a discussion when we should shut up before something is said that we might regret later". In two opportunities in the Bible, Jesus warned us about saying hurtful things, so important is this principle. I usually say what I think, but I don't make fake compliments to please anyone. If I don't have anything nice to say, I shut up. I sincerely thank you for bringing that to my attention.

#2012-04-26 23:08:30 by gaspasser @gaspasser

Very good article...I now wish I had known and applied those rules before my wife left me four months ago...Thank you.

#2012-05-15 19:35:32 by zhouyang11 @zhouyang11

nice though i dont understand all because im weak in english ;p

#2012-05-31 13:46:18 by zenexus2011 @zenexus2011

While I'm not married, I found this article very, very insightful. Thank you so much. I'm currently dating I will make sure I put these directives into play.

#2012-06-11 02:47:51 by mercury0202 @mercury0202

Great!

#2012-09-03 06:59:53 by Barry1 @Barry1

Wonderful words, great stuff indeed, should be mandatory reading for every married couple.

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