Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Imi was born and raised in Europe, Hungary. After finishing his school years, he moved to Canada to search for a better life. He lived in Toronto for 13 years and currently resides in Vancouver. He is a romantic at heart with a strong desire to always do the right thing. He would like to give hope to the Chinese and Asian ladies with his story and send a message that love eventually finds everybody.
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The Immigrant (part 6) The Storm    

By Imi
2769 Views | 16 Comments | 11/13/2015 12:50:59 PM
(Showing 11 to 16 of 16) Previous 1 2
#2015-11-18 00:41:36 by Imi5922 @Imi5922


There are parts in your comment that I agree with full heartedly, and parts that somewhat confuse me. First, I'd like to talk about the parts that I agree with.

Melcyan, probably, you're the man who separates two fighting men in a bar with lines of reasoning, and, eventually, you'd be the one who gets beat up. There are a few people on CLM that I look up and admire, and you're one of those people. There is always a good intention behind your comments.

What I agree with you on is that I need to learn a lot from you and the others. Even though I don't comment on blogs, I always read them and try to learn from them. Barry doesn't know (now he will if he reads this), but I make notes when I read his blogs. I learn the words that are new to me, and also try to study how he puts together a well-written sentence. But let's not forget the others, either, who wow me with their minds and styles.
Look at John's comments on Paul's last entry, Homage to the Flob-God. That is the style that I would love to master in my writings, but unfortunately, I don't think I ever will. Or look at Paul's article mentioned above, funny and entertaining, and at the same time, educating. Or when I lost myself in one of Achelle's articles, I truly feel that I'm light years away to becoming a writer. And let's not forget about Gareth. What a loss to CLM and us, members! There won't be another insightful article from him about China, and it's painfully saddening. Or, there is a CLM member, Anniehow, what a bright Chinese woman she is, who shames me with her well-written English comments.
Yes, Melcyan, I have a lot to learn from Barry and these people.

Now, let's talk about the other things that slightly make me confused. You said, Barry and I think that we are writers and the majority of people who think that way will never get published. Do you mean that the students who go to universities and dream about becoming published writers or journalists, they, actually, have no chance because they think about it, or you mean, they already think as published writers without even having something published?

I think it's the second part of my question that you really meant in your comment. To that, I can answer you in one sentence. I'm writing, but I'm not a writer.

There are only a few people who knows about me writing stories. My mother and my sister don't even know I write. My current girlfriend doesn't know I write. I don't brag about it to anyone, but I'm passionate about it.

What you might have extracted from my comments to Barry and others on the CLM pages as "ego" might as very well be a passion for protecting what I've created. For example, it's a kind of feeling that a mother feels after nine months of pregnancy for her newborn. Her child may not be the most beautiful one, but to her she is. The family members tell her what a beautiful baby girl she has, and she is basking in their praises. But then, here comes her young, eight-year-old nephew who doesn't know about white lies and shrills, ripping the expression of excitement off her face with "What an ugly baby it is." Of course, she gets hurt and might slap the boy even though, secretly, she knows that the boy is right. She created a life and to her, the child always be beautiful.

It's the same with writing a story. This story contains eight parts, 15,000 words. You're reading only the final version here on CLM. But what you can't see is that it started out from a simple idea when I visited my girlfriend in China this year. That simple idea grew into a sentence, a paragraph then to a part, and finally, it was born after three weeks of writing, thinking, and editing as "The Immigrant" in July 2015. To me, it's beautiful even though, I know it has flaws, at that time, it was the best I could bring out of it. I'm passionate about it, and I will protect it as a mother would protect her child. It's not ego; it's a passion that every writer, painter, sculptor, musician feels during and after they had created something.

I don't see myself as a writer even though, I write every day. I simply discovered something that I love to do, and I'm passionate about. If that is, you call ego then, be it, but then, you could call all the dreamers out there, egomaniacs who vision themselves to be Olympians, actors or painters, musicians one day. If they don't believe, if they don't SEE themselves whatever they want to become, if they don't have the passion, they would never reach their goals.

Thank you for your comment! How is your Chinese study going? Do you SEE yourself speaking fluently in Chinese one day?

#2015-11-18 22:30:06 by melcyan @melcyan

Imi, the honesty of your writing cuts through like a knife, regardless of whether you are blogging or just making a comment like the one you made to me. Your words often have the power to make unexpected thoughts enter my head.

When you said “you're the man who separates two fighting men in a bar with lines of reasoning, and, eventually, you'd be the one who gets beat up.”,I remembered how I felt one night 21 years ago when I heard a loud noise and loud voices in the street in front of my house. I started to rush outside just as I had always done in the past. Just a moment after passing through the doorway I thought “What the f#*k am I doing?” My wife had died a month earlier and my four children were in bed. My children were totally dependent on me. It was irresponsible of me to put myself at risk. I went back inside and locked the door. Since that day, there has never been any chance of me intervening between two fighting men. I have since intervened between two fighting students. but even that is unlikely now.

The ego I was talking about is the ego talked about in the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Buddhism talks about ego in a similar way. Ego is the lower self and your spirit is the higher self. It has become an integral part of my thinking now and I sometimes make the mistake of forgetting that talk of ego can be insulting. It was never my intention to insult you. Your vulnerability, honesty and passion are your great strengths. These strengths relate to your higher self, not your ego.

Your written words are wasted on some and valued by others. That's just the way it is for all writers. You do not need to protect, mother or defend your honest and vulnerable words. They stand by themselves.

Whether you writing is ever published or not, will not change the fact that you are already a writer. You create responses in me that only a good writer could produce. QinQL and many others think similarly. You say that you write every day. You love it. You have to do it. That makes you a writer.

Now to address your last question. Do I SEE myself becoming fluent in Chinese? Yes, I do, but just like your writing, I have to do it every day and I have to love it. The last few weeks for me have been very hectic without any time for Chinese language, but your words are well timed. It is obvious to me now that the time I spend learning Chinese is not optional. Just last week I wrote a bucket list(I did picture all ten items happening) and becoming fluent in Chinese was number six on a ten-item list. (the other nine items will not be revealed)

#2015-11-19 08:11:35 by Imi5922 @Imi5922


Thanks for your comments!

I have to agree with your observation of me taking your comments to my heart. I usually read a comment only once, and in my replies you can read what I felt right after I had finished reading it. Or let's put it, in other words. I inherited a sensitive and passionate heart from my mother. Although I live in an English-speaking country, my heart is like of a Spanish man. If an English man catches his wife in the act with another man, he may keep his composure and goes to file for divorce. I, on the other hand, would jump first and think in the jail about what an idiot I was, acting upon my feelings.

Maybe it's just me who, sometimes, have to use a translation on your word choices in your articles. I'm sure the members who speak perfect English can understand everything. What I meant by that comment was that we have different styles. My blogs are mostly for entertaining, and yours are for talking about more serious topics. Therefore, if you wrote a part under my name, everybody would know, It wasn't me.

You say, we can write about every kind of situations that come with life. I'd rather say that there is a place for everything where we can express our views on everything. I don't think the subject of our bowel movements belongs to a dating site. Although you can write about them somewhere else perhaps in a magazine for doctors, nurses or freaks. I'm sure you're not a freak to invite people into your bathroom when you're making a dump over a hole with your gummy knees, are you, Barry? If not then, why do you think we members here on CLM like to read about flying feces?

Yes, you are right, I don't have sexually explicit content in my articles, but not because I'm timid, but because I know I can't write about them on CLM. You say one of your articles got censored by John. One of mine from February had not even gotten published. It was called, "Are You a Player?" I don't think John remembers, but it was about a conversation between Lily and me. This simple question, which became the title, led me to tell her how I would have made love to her. So yes, John dropped the ball on that entire article, but John is entitled to do that if he feels that an article a bit too graphic, after all, he has to conduct an entire website in a country where you still can find closed-minded officials, sitting in very high places.

You can laugh as much as you want, I still think that you're timid expressing your feelings. You can amuse and educate people with your writings, for example, your last blog, one word: BRAVO. You also can provoke people and make them call you "crazy" or tell you "you should go to see a doctor" in their comments when you declared "war" on men and had tried to convince the male members here on CLM for months how much of a good idea it was to eradicate them. You can write about almost anything, but I think you're afraid of opening up and talking about your feelings. I'm talking about when you make yourself vulnerable and open up about your true feelings for Tina in your articles, just like I did in part 6 of the Lily series. I believe that you're a sensitive man because if you weren't you wouldn't have a woman in your life like Tina. And if it's your personal choice not being open about your feelings on the pages of CLM, I respect that. However, I hope one day, your feelings for Tina would reach a level and bring an emotional article out of your pen. I would love to read about your romantic side, not just about your provocative, sledgehammer humor side.

Otherwise, Barry, I admire your courage. Going to China and teaching children for English at the age of 61? Hats off and good luck!

#2015-11-19 09:00:59 by Imi5922 @Imi5922


Thank you for saying you're one of my fans. However, when I read this, I'd felt awkward. I'm just a simple man. You can be the fan of a celebrity or of someone you look up to. I think you can find that idiom in every country. It sounds the same in my country, too.

I hear what you're saying about talking to more than one woman. I've done that before, but it was too complicated for me to keep the personal details of the ladies without hurting one or two.
For a long time now, I don't need to. I am a loner. I have my mother in my country; I have my best friend who lives in Hungary, too, and I have a girlfriend who lives in China. Although I live far away from them, I'm always busy doing something. Talking to more than one people is a good idea, but not for me. I'm not a chitty-chatty type. I can be very chatty, though, when I write. In person, eye to eye, I'm boring.

Thank you for your kind words! And also let me express how much your English improved. You should really listen to John and start blogging because I want to be your fan, too. We men always love to read about Chinese women's feelings. Especially, if that woman as intelligent as you are. You should really think about this!!

Thank you for your comments!

#2015-11-21 11:05:44 by Barry1 @Barry1


Thanks for your comments,Imi.

Let me say that your responses to people are now much more elaborate and impactful compared to how you were when you first joined this site. The burgeoning quality of your writing is clearly reflected now in how considerately you respond to comments made.

It has occurred to me that not everyone may know what sledgehammer humour is? Another term for this is "wicked humour". This is humour deliberately designed to be a little mischievous, a little roguish or teasing. It's not meant in any way to be hurtful or malicious.

Hence my surprise when both you and @melcyan took my words seriously. The thought of me writing the next part of your series seemed to me to be quite absurd, self evidently impossible. An outlandish idea. So with tongue planted firmly in cheek, I then suggested it to you! (rofl)

In the same vein, sometimes my writing strays into other slightly provocative areas such as "toilet humour". But at the end of the day, this is all that it is. Humour.

Another example of my "sledgehammmer humour" is as you described, when a year or so ago in the forum area of this website I declared war on men. I rebelliously asserted that ladies were so much better than the male of the species that men should be eliminated from Earth, except for breeding purposes alone.

And you know what? Some people took me seriously! I was called a nutcase and all sorts of things. (giggle)

In situations such as these, the words are simply designed to give people a bit of a laugh. They're designed also to provoke a reaction. And if or when it does, my job as an aspiring albeit rascally writer has succeeded! (clap)

This is why I respect John Abbot's editorial policy. John allows a reasonably wide latitude in what's written here. Providing the words aren't deliberately offensive or denigrating - or overly sexual - then John permits their publication.

We all know this is a dating website, but can you imagine how boring the blogs would become if EVERY story concerned romance, sultry looks, fast beating hearts and fairies dancing merrily at the bottom of the garden?

As for the rest of your comments in your reply to me, they've all been taken on board. I hear what you say.

Thanks Imi and all the best to you. (y)(beer)

#2015-11-21 12:53:12 by QinQL @QinQL


Haven’t you known you have had many readers here after your series of blog posted one by one? I also could find you have had many male members’ readers, not only John and Barry, also Melcyan and Macchap , anonymous, and a lot of members who enjoyed reading but left none of comments. You are popular with your writing. It is really great achivements that you have reached, why you not share it with your dearest families that would bring them happy and be proud of you, then also can get some support when you need from them? I also like to read your respond to your readers here. It shows your deeper thinking, spark ideas and influential passion.

So pleased to hear again that I am encouraged to start blogging. Having nice gifts to share with our CLM members is always a proud and worthy thing to do in my mind. Unfortunately I need to improve my English enough to be a blogger. I chatted with a male member here by a instant chat function on CLM a few days ago. He typed to me you women like stability. I used my translator that i thought stability might just mean reliability. But I read one comment recently, it seems stability= money (he said “ Sex is certainly not the ONLY priority in a relationship. Love, trust , reliability ( I don't mean money or "stability" ) these things are first priority. --------- you can find this sentence from the thread that Seekdream posted recently). Since then I seemed to understand some what he meant. I do need to improve my English. Intelligence need a base of language knowledge at least.

To address fan (I am sorry for having you feel awkward), I really have a fan, that’s my daughter. And i am becoming a fan of her, too. We always have many things to share from each other every day. It makes our life full of sunshine.

The style of writing that you and Zoe has is my favor. If someday I write, I would like to learn from you both :D

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