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Born and raised in a small and remote village of China with two siblings, Zoe had a childhood with wild freedom in nature. After finishing her education at Dalian Foreign Languages University, she has been living and working in Dalian. A woman of strong feelings and a passion for life, Zoe's first series of vibrant articles will tell you about the rollercoaster ride that was her first serious relationship with a Western man. There is much you can learn from her telling story. After that we'll see where else she can take us and what other wonderful experiences she might share.
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The End Of Our Relationship Part 15 - New Concerns    

By Zoe
8355 Views | 29 Comments | 6/6/2013 4:19:25 AM

Maybe it's not about the money, but 13,000 RMB is still a lot to spend if someone is just going to break your heart.

A very pretty young girl interviewed me in the embassy, she was very nice to me, but still I gave terrible answers to two of her questions. Got out of the embassy, I wanted to hammer my head for my terrible performance and deficient preparation.

In the following days of my being back to Dalian, it felt cooking inside of me, I couldn’t get peace, worrying that I might get denied from the embassy.

According to the experience of people wrote there in the forum, normally it’s very fast to get to know the result, some people who live in Beijing got the information the next day, most people did within three days.

No other options, but to comfort myself was the only thing I could do, and said to myself, if I got denied, it means that we are doomed far apart from each other, and I shall give up at all; If I would be lucky enough to get a visa, thanks God for his favor and love to me, I shall cherish H as my life in the future.

One week later, I got my passport back from the embassy by Express.

The moment when I was trying to take out the passport from the envelop, I was shaking, even no power to open the passport.

Finally I got to see the page printed the visa, that moment tears blurred my eyes.

With the mobile photo I sent a message to H: I got the visa!
He didn’t reply that day.

He certainly didn’t understand how hard it was for a Chinese girl like me to get a visa to Europe, he didn’t understand either what was the significant for me to get it.

I regretted for not booking the tickets in advance, because the price was flying when the national holiday was approaching.

I found a line which was more logical in an acceptable price, from Beijing to Frankfurt with a layover in Abu Dhabi, 13,000RMB for a round trip.

That was everything I had in my account.

I was hesitating before I got the tickets booked: why shall I fly to Germany?

It’s not that the cost was out of my afford, but I felt that H was not so cheerful on my visit. Because he once said, it should be all your decision.

Why? Was it just my decision? I was not coming for travel, but for seeing him, for wanting to be with him, so I was willing to empty my pocket to make it work just for the joy of reuniting with him.

For two days, I was asking myself, shall I go or not? There were two possibilities ahead of me: to get a heart broken although I flew thousands of miles to him; or to be sorry in all my life for not making this visit.

I booked the tickets anyway, decided to fly to Germany. Because, there would be a thing that we must do, on any condition.

面签时我有两个问题没有回答好,从大使馆出来后捶胸顿足埋怨自己准备不充分。
回到大连后的几天我总是忐忑不安,担心被拒签。因为按照论坛里大家的帖子,北京德签出结果很快的,有的第二天出结果,很多是三天左右就收到寄回的护照。
只好心里安慰自己说,如果被拒就说明我跟H命中无缘,注定天各一方,从此断了念想也罢。如果有幸获签,感谢上苍青睐与厚爱,我从此珍爱H如生命。
一周后,护照从大使馆邮寄到了我手中。
把护照从EMS信封中掏出来的那一刻,我整个人都在颤抖,连翻开护照的力气都没有。
我爬在桌上,努力平静下来,可是脑袋里还是嗡嗡响。
哆哆嗦嗦看到印有申根签证那一页,我的泪水模糊了眼睛。
我用手机发了条短信给H:I GOT THE VISA!
他没有回复。他当然不明白对于普通中国人申请到欧洲签证是多么难,他也不会理解这个签证对于我意义有多么重大。
很后悔没有提前把机票订了,临近国庆节的这些天,机票价格在以千为单位往上飞。
我找了一条比较合理,价格相对便宜的线路,从阿布扎比转机飞往法兰克福,往返1.3万人民币。
这几乎是我一年的积蓄。
订票前,有些犹豫,我为什么要去德国?
并非仅仅因为费用超出了我的承受范围,而是感觉H对我前往德国并不那么热心。因为他说,It should be all your decision.
为什么,只是我自己要作出决定吗?我并非要去旅游,我想去看他,想要跟他在一起,才满心欢喜倾尽所有。
有两天,我不停地问自己,要不要去,要不要去,去了可能伤心而归,不去可能终生遗憾。
我还是订了票,决心前往德国。因为,有些事情,一定要去做的。

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
Comments
(Showing 1 to 10 of 29) 1 2 3 More...
#2013-06-06 04:53:19 by madmac @madmac

, I have looked forward to everyone of your installments of this amazing love story. I am a man in two thoughts of mind: first off I am so jealous this man has met a woman that has such powerful feelings of pure love, it is something I can assure I have never felt in my life, nor have I recieved it. Believe me I want to very much.
Secondly, my heart is crying as I know what is to come. I feel so bad inside and feel such compassion and warmth at the same time that I have been able to read your words and feel just a little bit of what it must be like to love as you have.

If I am ever so lucky to find it, I will grab on to it with all my strength and never let go.

H was a very fortunate man.


MM

#2013-06-06 07:56:06 by anonymous6443 @anonymous6443

值得!非常值得,为了爱情, 就是花5万花再多 也是也是很值得啊!!

#2013-06-06 08:13:31 by anonymous6444 @anonymous6444

Zoe:我看了很多你的博客,有的认真看了,有的大致看了下。我知道你是个很好的女孩。在CLM上,有很多像我们这样的女性,善良,好学,聪明。在中国,我们由于很多原因,没有在国内找到意中人,于是把眼光投入到了国外。我们不敢找国际婚姻介绍公司,因为有很多是骗人的,并且收费也很高昂,弄得不好,人财两空,所以我们选择了CLM.其实,在CLM上,我看了很多的论坛以及一些博客,还有骗子监狱的一些评论,我感到我们中国的女人很不容易,包括我自己也不容易。我们喜欢点的老外,他们不中意我们,我们与他们联系时,他们很傲慢。而有些,我们不中意的,他们又经常发信息过来,爱我们的,我们不爱他们,我们爱的,他们很傲慢,这就是我们感到无奈的地方。我们感到很累,很疲倦,但我们还是坚强地生活着。其实,在这上面,有很多你这样的故事,包括我也有你这样的故事,只是我没把它写成博客。看了你的博客,我能感觉到你是个好姑娘,对爱情很执着,我也一样。如果遇到自己喜欢的,我也会主动地去追求,追求到自己看不到希望为止,我喜欢找我爱的人,而不是别人爱我,我不爱他的男人。或许,我们大多数的女人都一样。我不知道你去了德国,是否真的能够让他感动,你付出的爱情,是否真的能得到回报,但我仍然想知道你的消息,不管结局怎样,我期待听到你的消息。我会祝福你!我会希望你有个好结果。

#2013-06-06 08:41:43 by anonymous6445 @anonymous6445

I was speechless after reading this chapter...can't wait for the next installment!

#2013-06-06 09:22:37 by sillysandy @sillysandy

应该让男人来见你,你自己不远千里去见他,男人是不会珍惜的。

#2013-06-06 10:39:38 by zhaohaojuan @zhaohaojuan

hi,又看到你的文章了,我能感觉到你复杂的心情,一路过来到签证批下来你不就等的这一刻吗?我好佩服你的勇气勇敢的追求爱情,女人当遇上心仪的对象都会为爱痴狂,我觉得不管结果怎样你不要半途而费我支持你!希望下次你给大家还带来好消息。

#2013-06-06 12:33:34 by papaya1972 @papaya1972

Agree with you: 有些事情,一定要去做的。

If you have tried your best, there will be nothing to regret about.

#2013-06-06 12:59:44 by anonymous6450 @anonymous6450

Zoe:如果他真心爱你,想与你结婚的话,他应该主动邀请你去德国,主动承担一切费用,而不会让你花费这么一大笔钱千里迢迢地去看他,我虽然对爱情也很执著,但感觉对方不对劲的话,我会放弃的。哪怕自己打单身,不过,你一切都办好了,还是去看一下吧!去试一试,自己尽力了,有好的结果,你的努力也不会白费,如果没有,你也无怨我悔。我来这个网站,也快一年了,感觉老外并不是那么好应付。

#2013-06-06 17:48:45 by anonymous6452 @anonymous6452

1,3万元 就能得到一个德国丈夫,无论怎么讲还是很划算的事,赌一把没准能赢,这个风险值得一试。同样这也是对方对你的经济实力和爱心的一种考验,要明白这个道理,‘舍不得孩子套不着狼’有付出就会有收获,还是去吧,不去怎么行? 相信大家是都会支持你的作法。

#2013-06-06 19:10:30 by Apinkapple @Apinkapple


I do like to read your story ,but sorry to say it seems that the man just wanted one night stand when I read your previous parts. Did the man do anything to prove he loved you either when you were together ?

In this part you told him:you got the visa, but he didn't reply to you,which is the best answer to the relationship. He said it should be all your decision. I think he had already told you he didn't welcome you to meet him in Germany.

What is love, a relationship in which he loves me and I love him equally.

Love is an amazing thing, but it should be within our reach. If it costs too much( I mean it makes me feel so painful and hopeless ), I would rather give it up.


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