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Born and raised in a small and remote village of China with two siblings, Zoe had a childhood with wild freedom in nature. After finishing her education at Dalian Foreign Languages University, she has been living and working in Dalian. A woman of strong feelings and a passion for life, Zoe's first series of vibrant articles will tell you about the rollercoaster ride that was her first serious relationship with a Western man. There is much you can learn from her telling story. After that we'll see where else she can take us and what other wonderful experiences she might share.
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The End Of Our Relationship Part 13 - The Dreaded Visa    

By Zoe
5200 Views | 6 Comments | 5/2/2013 3:50:19 PM

The German Embassy in Beijing is a little bit imposing.

In the evening, sitting on my bay window, I rested my head on his legs, feeling sad about the parting from H soon. He must return to the hotel that night, because his flight was in the early morning, and his former colleague would pick him up from the hotel and see him off in the airport.

I said, Okay, I will try to get the visa and see you in Germany.

Late in the night, after H left, I was still sitting by the window, reflecting the experience of these two days, it felt like in a dream.

What would be following was that I would have to fill the void of the future days without him being with me. The next day, I got his email, said, It was two perfect days, hope we will find the way to continue.

I folded my hands and crossed my fingers, praying to God, if there would be a price, I was willing to pay with my life and health for being together with this man in the future.

In the following days, I started checking the visa issue. Never had a thought that I would fly to Europe some day by myself, people told me it’s very hard to get a visa to Europe, without a good reason, it would probably get denied, especially in my case: single woman, at the age of getting married, having no saving in the bank.

By coincidence I ran across a website: Travel through Europe. Wow, such a great website, for any questions, any problems, there is an answer for me, It was really a treasure for me.

I read people’s experience written in the forum, and started preparing papers accordingly.

At the beginning, it seemed no clue at all for too much paper work to do. But slowly and one by one, I got everything ready soon.

A couple of days before the visa interview in Beijing Embassy, I applied from my manager for two days leave, planning to have a short vacation in Beijing with a good friend. Out of blue, my manager didn’t approve it, she asked a explanation for my leave. I understood her because it was end of the month which was the busiest time in every month for work. But I would not want to tell her what I would be doing because it’s so personal. Therefore, my manager kept the application and refused to approve it.

I was grinding my teeth in anger. What if she would definitely not give me the permission? I would go for it in any case. What if I got fired?

Those days, I had the impulse to kill my manager.

I knew, I surely would go for the visa even though on a price of getting fired.
It came to the day that I would head to Beijing in the evening. I went to my manager’s office as soon as I got to work in the morning, by coaxing and pestering, I got the permission from her.

I breathed with release and thanked her a million times before jumped out from her office.

晚上,我们坐在我家的飘窗上。我枕着他的腿,心里有万千不舍。
他晚上得回宾馆,因为第二天一早的飞机。他的前同事去接他然后送他去机场。
我说,好吧,我会努力申请签证,去德国看你。
深夜,我坐在窗边,回想这两天的经历,就如一场梦。
接下来,只能用回忆来填补没有他的空白了吧。
第二天,我收到他的一封邮件,说这两天如此完美快乐,hope we will find a way to continue。
我双手合十,祈求上帝,如果需要代价,我愿意付出生命与健康,换来与这个男人朝夕相处。

我开始查去往欧洲签证的事情。从未想过要单独飞欧洲,以前只听说欧签很难,没有充分的理由被拒签的可能性很大,特别是类似我的条件,单身,大龄,银行没有存款。
无意中撞见一个网站,走遍欧洲。哇,好棒的一个网站,任何问题,任何信息,我如获至宝。
我阅读了大家的经验经历,按照论坛里大家提供的信息,一一准备材料。
一开始毫无头绪,因为要提供的材料太多。但一样一样下来,居然也很顺利地准备齐全了。
在去往北京大使馆面签的前几天,我向经理请假两天,想在北京跟朋友逛逛。经理不准假,要我必须给出请假的理由,因为当时是月末,工作很忙。我当然不能告诉她,因为这纯属私事。所以请假条被经理压下来,不给批。
我气的咬牙切齿。心想,如果经理真的不批假怎么办?不批我也要去!那就属于旷工了,被开除了怎么办?
那两天我把经理杀死的心都有。
我知道,即使被开除,我也要去。
晚上就要动身去往北京,这天上午我一早来到经理办公室,软磨硬泡,终于给批准了。
我千恩万谢,如释负重。

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Comments
(Showing 1 to 6 of 6) 1
#2013-05-02 16:03:15 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

You obviously had amazingly strong feelings for this man, and it is always worth remembering that there are many people in the world who never get to feel those feelings in their entire lives. You are blessed that you have felt what you did, even if it didn't last.

#2013-05-02 20:14:58 by sunsmiling2 @sunsmiling2

It's very hard to build a long distant relationship.But the reality is that for many people,for many different reasons,they can't find their love around them.As for me,I have ever tried developing a long distant relationship.Unluckily,it didn't work out at last.Very hard to work it out.

#2013-05-02 21:33:06 by hellen1020 @hellen1020

我非常喜欢你敢爱敢恨的个性,也很羡慕你能爱一个人这么彻底,呵呵,不是每一个都有这样的幸运遇见可以相爱的人,即使这样的爱没有走到终点,足够回忆,有回忆亦是幸福!

#2013-05-03 14:45:05 by dramazing @dramazing

Yes, yes.....I second all of John's words. Such depth of feeling, this is the very essence that drives us onward, through adversity. And for sure, so many never get to feel them - personally, I have felt them more often than has been good for me!! However, those of us who believe, we keep-on climbing aboard the roundabout that is pure & real Love.
It's great to read your account, written with passion and keeping us all waiting to see how it all concludes. Well Done!! :)

#2013-05-06 13:55:38 by chenhelen @chenhelen

Hope you end well with H. But you need to be more frank about what you feel about H, why not just tell him that you like / love him?

#2013-05-08 22:08:23 by romantic008 @romantic008

the same story happened to me as yours. I fell in love with him and i thought he was my only one. just because i got sick because of the bad weather in beijing . He left me . So some foreigner is really not reliable. Love is just tempory donot be childlish to believe there is love can last for ever. Just when my lover come i welcome when he left i say good bye have a good journey that is all !

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