Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Ryan Hendry is a former detective and lawyer from the UK. He is now a freelance writer living in the Philippines. Ryan has a Filipina partner and hopes to be married to her later in 2016. He has traveled extensively in Asia and is a veteran of the Asian online dating world. He has experienced online, and physically met, some scammers, including unscrupulous ladies from Thailand and the more obvious scammers from Nigeria. Ryan is keen therefore to share his experiences and uses this platform for his blogs as CLM and ALM is committed to hunting down all scammers. Ryan, despite some of his experiences, respects Asian culture, loves Asian food and is now happy in the Philippines!
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International Dating: My Story - Thai Lady Boy    

By Ryan Hendry
1991 Views | 5 Comments | 7/14/2016 1:40:44 AM

Cross Cultural Issues

The remainder of the day took in all the sights of the southern end of Phuket island. Che drove us to the Big Buddha, Wat Chalong and Rawai Beach. It was a pleasant and memorable day out. The only drawback was that it was difficult to talk to Noi one on one when surrounded by her friends and the kids. I guess this was a part of Asian dating culture. She appeared to be happy so that made me happy too.

First stop was Wat Chalong. It is one of the revered Buddhist temples on the island and contains a huge wax reclining golden Buddha. It’s quite some sight. The room has to be set to a controlled cool temperature to preserve the integrity of the wax. Anyone can wander in there as long as you remove your shoes and hat and are dressed conservatively. In other words, be respectful as it is a part of Asian etiquette.  There were a handful of devotees sat cross-legged in silent meditation at the foot of the Buddha. The sight was inspiring. Next stop was the huge white Big Buddha sat atop a nearby mountain. It can be seen for miles. I found that to be a little touristy and trashy. Nevertheless, the sight of the white marble Buddha from close up is impressive.

The kids and grown-ups were hungry now so we set off for Rawai Beach. There is no sand and no beach. But there is a boulevard lined with fish restaurants. We chose one of them and I sat back while Noi and her friends ordered the food. It was all local fresh fish, shrimp and squid and it was delicious. Two bottles of Thai Leo beer were the perfect accompaniment to the meal. Thai beer is strong by British standards particularly Chang beer. This was when I made my first mental note about Noi. She could drink the same amount of beer as me and never appeared drunk. It was a mental note but I buried it away deep in my sub consciousness. Perhaps it was there as a future reference point?

Suitably refreshed we set off in Che’s car back to Patong. On reaching the busy tourist spot Che made for the north end of Patong Beach, following Noi’s instructions. There we all made our way into a small improvised restaurant set on top of the rocks. It was time for a snack of tempura dipped into a sweet and sour sauce. And, of course another two beers. Annie and Che’s eldest, a boy of twelve, frolicked in the waves below us. Noi decided we would make our way back to our hotel by tuk-tuk so we said our goodbyes to Che and his family. I thanked him for being a perfect tour guide and handed over my money.

We climbed into a bright red tuk tuk and I heard Noi say, “Bangla Road,” to the driver. I thought - why is she taking me to the sex area of Patong? The driver dropped us off outside the Muay Thai boxing stadium. We walked over to a bar next to the stadium opposite the night food stalls and the market place. The owner of the bar and her female assistant were both friendly types. We ordered a beer each and one of the house specialty cocktails. Boy! It was strong! While chatting to the bar owner, I noticed the tee shirts on sale behind the bar. To be exact, I noticed the message emblazoned across the chest - “Good boys go to Heaven. Bad Boys got to Patong.” Is that right? I must be a bad boy!

Finishing our drinks, Noi held my hand and said, “Let’s go. I take you for a walk Bangla.” I was curious so did not resist or complain. The main thoroughfare in the area is unbelievably crowded. It is pedestrianized but it is still congested - with people not traffic. The neon decorated bars were everywhere. All of them had a presence outside - scantily clad young Thai girls beckoning and waving me towards their particular bar. It did not matter to them that Noi was with me.

No wonder, she held my hand tight as we jostled through the throngs. It was a seething mass of humanity all selling or looking to buy one commodity - sex. There are two distinct areas to Bangla Road. The straight and the gay. I am far from prudish but it made me feel sad.

That feeling was reinforced when we got stuck behind a slow moving couple. She was a mature Thai lady, nearer forty than thirty. I first saw her from behind, and what a behind! I’m sure you know what I mean. It was clad in a skin tight leopard skin dress as was the rest of her body. The skirt length was microscopically short revealing her long tanned legs to their fullest.

As we walked alongside her, I could see she was a good looker. She was walking arm in arm with a western man. He appeared to be over ninety years old. His facial skin had a death pallor - a yellowish white color. And, he had the utmost difficulty in walking and holding his head up straight. But, he had money and she was taking care of him. I remember thinking - good luck to you, sir - in a respectful way. Noi noticed me looking at the leopard skin dress. She asked me, “You like?” I said, “Well, it’s OK” sort of in a non-committal vein. “Okay, I find you lady boy if you like her,” she joked. It was my first encounter with a Thai lady boy, one of the cross cultural issues I had to deal with in Thailand.

We walked back to our hotel still hand in hand. I had witnessed Bangla Road at first hand. I had no idea then that I would return there solo at a future time.

What are your stories about a first encounter with a Thai lady boy? Or, any lady boy? Keep them clean!

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2016-07-14 01:40:28 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

A lot of Thai women can really handle their alcohol, and I suspect that's because a lot of Thai women are involved in the bar trade, where they have to drink with the customers. Their income is often based on a commission they get for drinks the customers buy for them. If you make your living drinking alcohol you're likely going to be a good drinker.

A great number of those bar girls are also involved in the sex trade, and will often leave the bar with a customer who ask them for a night's entertainment. Usually that will involve a direct payment by the customer to her for the sex that night, plus the customer has to pay the bar a fee for allowing her to leave work early.

I have no idea how many of the bar girls in Thailand also engage in prostitution, but I'd be very surprised if it isn't at least 50%. Certainly in Pattaya and the bar streets of Bangkok it is well over 50%, but in the smaller communities and less touristy areas it is likely much less than 50%. Phuket being such a major tourist destination I would bet it is damned high there.

So based on your note that Noi can really handle her drinking and your statement "We walked back to our hotel still hand in hand. I had witnessed Bangla Road at first hand. I had no idea then that I would return there solo at a future time." it is pretty difficult not to smell serious trouble brewing.

I guess whether or not it relates to an earlier profession she pursued is something we will have to wait and see.

As for the Thai ladyboys, I understand that they make up between 10 and 15% of the bar trade and the sex trade. You can see them everywhere, but for the most part they are fairly obvious, and as I understand it they tend to congregate in specific bars dedicated to their unique talents and activities if they are practising prostitution.

I was never approached by one in a "normal" bar and I doubt they would troll those types of bars. It's hard to imagine how many beatings they might receive if they were picking up men who were unaware they were not equipped with the requisite female parts so it only makes sense to practise their trade in places known to be for that purpose, so that they'd be safe in taking on new customers.

My Thai girlfriend sometimes took me (at my expense of course) to one bar where the music and entertainment was extremely good and there was always a real mix of all kinds of people. There were always groups of ladyboys there but they always hung with themselves and seemed to be happy and jovial. I was never approaced by any of them and neither were any of my many foreign friends who would often join us there.

My point is that while you can't help encountering them sometimes, you really do not have to worry much about "accidentally" picking one up. I am sure there are exceptions to that rule but I think damned few of them. 

#2016-07-14 10:05:08 by RHendry @RHendry

@JohnAbbot A TV series shown in the UK was all about Thai ladyboys. There are guys who really do prefer them to the 'real thing.' There is no accounting for taste! One of the guys on the show was asked by the interviewer "Don't you question your own sexuality?" He thought about it and was admant that he was straight and not gay. Life is complicated enough so I am pleased I didn't have to deal with those sort of complications :)

#2016-07-14 22:36:36 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

@RHendry. I have spend many a good night in those bars, along with my ex-wife. She loved the lady-boys and it was easy to see why. They are confident, outgoing people who have a couldn't-care-less attitude, and they are a lot of fun to drink with.

That said, I must admit to being totally addicted to that 'Ladyboys' TV show. Not for the ladyboys per se, but my addiction developed due to the guys who were besotted by them. There was one guy, muscles-on-muscles - a real gym-junkie - and he was all-set to marry his ladyboy girlfriend. When asked 'Will your parents come to your wedding?' his reply was something like, 'It's too far for my Mum to fly and there's no way my old man wilkl come to watch his son marry a bloke.'


But he was convinced he wasn't gay....The other 'main character' also had me hooked. I was born and raised in Coventry and this guy definitely had a Cov accent. I was 90% certain I knew him but I never found out his name so I couldn't be sure, but this guy was totally addicted to ladyboys and had had several ladyboy partners over the years. Overall, the documentary was awesome and I totally recommend watching it.


It's true that a high % of the population in Thailand are ladyboys (catoys - right?), and it seems this is due to some gene malfunction, but they now reckon that doctors can determine during pregnancy if a woman will give birth to a ladyboy.

Therefore, for those of you who think this is some kind of lifestyle choice - you are wrong - it's a birth defect, (for want of a better expression).


Affectionately known as 'chicks-with-dicks', they have a reputation for being 100% money-hungry. They will grab you in the street so they can have their photo taken with you, then hit you for 100baht. They get most foreigners this way.... but only once. They can take hormone tablets for years in order to grow breasts, butr the main operation is expensive and many of them spend years and years saving for it. The sad thing is that the TV documentary showed many of them, who had gone through this irreversible operation, only to regret it deeply.

The other sad thing is that the ones who feel 'whole' after going through the gender-change op and are quite happy, are still male in the eyes of thhe law. Essentially, they were born with a penis and as such they are male. I personally know 2 such 'ladies' in Patong who are happily married, (one to a western man, the other to a Thai), and they both tell me that their sex-life is quite normal.


I guess to be blunt, ladyboys are a 'freak-of-nature'. But nevertheless, they are human beings and they have the right to be happy. The fact that certain (alleged) non-gay men are attracted to them is no-one's business but theirs. I just find the whole subject fascinating.


How do they justify their sexual attraction? Very easily....


Instead of accepting the fact they may have gay tendencies by agreeing that ladyboys have a penis, they adopt the attitude that men don't have breasts. Therefore their partner is more girl than boy. - At least in their mind...

At the beach-end of Bangla Rd, on the left as you look out to sea, there used to be a shoe-shop that specialised in high heels for lady-boys. (not sure if it's still there). Looking in the window and seeing cherry-red stiletto's in size 16 was hilarious!


As someone pointed out to me today, it's us humans that stipulate ethics and morals, the universe itself knows no right nor wrong. Live and let live, eh?


#2016-07-15 14:27:05 by RHendry @RHendry

@paulfox1 Hi Paul, You are spot on. It is 'katoys' by the way. The other thing many who have never experienced Thailand don't realise, is that Thais tend to be a tolerant people. Ladyboys are accepted. I too was fascinated by that series and I think you are right - there was guy from Cov. He was a uni lecturer. 

I found the company of ladyboys generally enjoyable. They were fun and knew I wasn't interested so no issues. A few were downright nasty and untrustworthy but hey! That applies to all kinds of people.

I enjoyed reading your comment, intelligent and insightful, even to me :)

#2016-08-01 15:48:45 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@danruble - please check your email for my comments about your intended comment on this posting.

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