Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
John Abbot is co-owner of Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
Articles :
Views :
Comments :
Create Time :
This Blog's Articles
Index of Blogs
Index Blog Articles

So Chinese Women are Gold-Diggers and Foreign Men are Losers?    

By John Abbot
7188 Views | 5 Comments | 7/4/2015 5:25:16 AM

Is this what is really behind a famous Chinese Rant about Chinese women and Western men? Click the photo and read more about why you should try dating Chinese women.

This article on The Beijinger website, written by Michael Wester, references a trending, online rant that appeared recently on WeChat and positively reeks of anti-laowai, racist propaganda and sexist hogwash! To be clear, Michael Wester is merely describing the rant, and is not in any way appearing to agree with its content, nor in any way adding to the foul odor pervading from it. In fact, he appears to feel, perhaps to a lesser degree, somewhat the same way as we do here at CLM, and his article is an infomative read. We simply wish to add our perhaps less subtle thoughts on the subject.

The rant, which has been falsely attributed to the wife of one of the richest entrepreneurs in China, is actually recycled material, originally published and also making its rounds online in China a few years back. Frankly, it sounds more like the rant of an embittered Chinese male who either cannot get a Chinese girlfriend/wife or lost one to a foreigner.

You can read the full rant from the link above to the Michael Wester article and see for yourself why we can go full speed ahead with this embittered-Chinese-male-ranting supposition. As a Western male who has been married to a beautiful Chinese woman for over 8 years now, and who has been managing a major International Chinese Dating site for almost that long, I feel that I have some grounds for finding fault with the contents of the rant. Let’s make a game of it, shall we?   

So Chinese women who wish to date foreign men must be gold-diggers – and the use of the word “must” here indicates a “condition or requisite.” At least, this is what the ranter suggests. They must be gold-diggers because: a) They are incapable of supporting themselves; b) They lack the skills and education to find a good job and establish a successful career; c) They are too lazy to be independent; d) They are selfish and opportunistic; or e) Any combination of or all of the above.

How else can we explain why so many, beautiful Chinese women are dating or married to foreign men who are much older than they are and, sometimes, are not attractive by popular or local standards? Let’s continue the game.

Foreign men who work and live in China – locally referred to as laowais – do so because: a) They are losers in their own country and can’t find a job and a woman there; b) they are afflicted with Yellow Fever (let’s include this because it’s a popular prejudiced sentiment); c) They believe Chinese women are easy and will fall all over themselves to date a foreign guy; d) Any combination of or all of the above.

Why else would they leave their country – when so many others dream of migrating there – to try their luck in a foreign place where they don’t speak the language nor completely understand the culture and its people? An excerpt from the aforementioned rant, as it was republished on the said article, delivers this same point:

“If you ask a laowai why they came to China, most will tell you it’s because of China's long history, splendid culture, magnificent mountains and rivers, rapid development and great changes.

But let me tell you, with the exception of a handful of them that work for the government or were assigned to come here by their company and have families with them, the overwhelming majority will site two reasons: One is that they couldn’t make it in their own country and came here to find a way out; two is to find women.”

It’s pretty obvious how this ranter feels towards foreign men that date Chinese women and vice versa. It’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t think too highly of the women of his country but, at the same time, he believes that foreign men are exploiting Chinese women. He is suspicious of foreign men’s intentions when it comes to dating the women of China; but he also encourages the women to take advantage of foreign men! This ranter is, in my estimation, one, contradictory and messed up dude!

There’s no need to belabor the point that foreign men and today’s Chinese women can be a match made in heaven for many, good reasons. And, needless to say, more and more Chinese women these days are choosing foreign men as partners over Chinese men, also for very good reasons. If this ranter is representative of how all men in China are, then it’s no wonder so many of their country’s women are not choosing them for a partner!

Let’s not forget the fact that after a certain age - 27 years old, to be specific – the “value” of a Chinese woman as a potential wife decreases substantially, and continues to do so exponentially with every year that she stays single. What are these women supposed to do? These are the same women that pursue higher education and their career ambitions so that they can become economically stable and provide their parents with a comfortable life; the same women that choose not to marry early for convenience and not to give in to the pressures of their supposed traditional gender roles because they believe a lasting marriage should be based on more than just the outdated beliefs of their male-centric society.     

So why would a modern Chinese woman marry a foreign man for money or a foreign visa? The answer is, she wouldn’t.  These are not the reasons why many of today’s women of China are dating and marrying foreign men. They are also not doing it due to having been rejected by Chinese men because of their age, independence, and success. This is the day of the new, economically vibrant and powerful China. Our experience on is that Chinese women are not much interested in moving from China at all. These women simply know that they deserve better, and they believe that foreign men are the better choice!

Certainly, there are some bad seeds among the foreign men that live and work in China and date the local females. They are not the majority, however; those that have a genuine admiration and respect for the women of China are. Why do these men prefer Chinese women over the women in their country? Because of western feminism, for the most part, which has become more about hate and emasculation than about gender equality. Compared to their western counterparts, today’s women of China know how to express their strength, independence, and individuality while still retaining their femininity and with no need to make their man feel less of a man. 

If you are a Western male and want to know more on the subject, feel free to check this page out to learn Why You Should Try Dating Chinese Women?

Anybody who automatically looks at a foreign man and a Chinese woman in a romantic relationship with suspicion and resentment is most likely unsatisfied with their own relationship or is unhappy with the absence of one!  When you find someone ranting jealously about such Western men and women of China, look at the ranter’s own relationship situation, and ask yourself, honestly, if you were the contented Laowai or the happy Chinese lady would you instead opt to be in a relationship with the whiny, bitter and apparently lonely ranter? I think not. I know I am in a great relationship with my Chinese wife, and I wouldn’t be with that angry, bigoted ranter, or at least a female version of same, for all the tea in China. 

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 5 of 5) 1
#2015-07-04 09:11:45 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

WOW!!......... you really have ‘come out of the woodwork’ with this one!

I see this kind of bigoted approach on a regular basis. How DARE us Westerners come to China to STEAL their women? After all, there are more men than women in China so there’s already not enough girls to go round!

I agree with you 100% that whoever wrote this drivel has had a ‘bad experience’ and likely lost-out to a ‘Laowai’ in the relationship department.

Chinese women are either ‘into’ Westerners or not - it really IS that simple. I know of one young Chinese girl in the city where I live who, at the tender age of 24 has had more Western boyfriends than I have written blogs for CLM. Conversely, I know many Chinese women who wouldn’t been seen dead in the arms of a foreigner!
One fellow teacher (in another school here) was attacked by his girlfriend’s father - JUST because he was a foreigner and he didn’t want his daughter to be associated with a Laowai and bring ‘shame’ on the family.

One thing that Chinese women DO have is this regard is FREEDOM OF CHOICE! (providing their parents have no objection)

I mentioned in my “Crossing the Bridge’ blog about my favourite little cafe that I go to regularly and I reckon this guys business must have doubled since I started going there with friends and colleagues. We are just animals in a zoo!
Chinese people get wind of it and come over to see us, buy us drinks and food and try to have a conversation with the ‘Laowai’ - to them it’s a kind of ‘novelty’ because we are few and far between in this town.

Personally, I don’t care! If I am a specimen in a ‘zoo’ then fine! As long as they want to come and ‘play’ with me, I am happy to eat and drink with them. When I wander there alone for lunch the owner either refuses my money or gives me a heavy discount - Happy Days !

Yet even this kind of behaviour from Chinese women does not necessarily mean they want to take a Laowai for a boyfriend, but in some ways I feel that they often envy those women that do.

I am sure that even Chinese women talk about ‘sex’ with their close friends and I am even more certain that Chinese women who have a close friend who has a foreign boyfriend would probably ask her more questions than if she had a Chinese boyfriend.

Curiosity is rampant!
One of my colleagues always uses the ‘cubicle’ in the gents rest-room rather than the urinal and when I asked him ‘Why’, he told me quite frankly he was annoyed with the amount of times a Chinese man would peer over and try to look at the size of his ‘manhood’ while he was taking a pee.

Western men seem to have a ‘reputation’ in China for having a ‘large trouser-snake’ compared with Chinese men, and I have no doubt whatsoever that a close friend of a Chinese girl with a western boyfriend is going to be asked rather quickly, “Is it true?”

Haha, if only - lol!

It’s not only our reputation ‘downstairs’ that frightens many Chinese women but also the language barrier (or language bridge), differences in traditions, culture, up-bringing, values etc etc, that ‘scare’ them into sticking to ‘their own’ rather than embracing a cross-cultural relationship

When you add all that to the fear of desertion and the possibility of her Laowai returning alone to his own country at the end of his contract, then it becomes a worry for many Chinese women and some just want to ‘enjoy themselves’ in the company of a western man while they can
This adds to the other reputation we have of being ‘playboys’ or ‘butterflies’ - a reputation given to us by the minority of westerners who want to bed as many girls as they can while they are working in China

So even though the ranter appears to be a small-minded dick-head with half-a-brain, it’s not too difficult to see where he is coming from with this

Great article!

#2015-07-05 23:46:13 by paulfox1 @paulfox1

Losing 'Face'

Today I have learned some terrible news. Rather than writing a forum thread about it I thought I would post it here because it certainly reflects what John and I have both said above

"Losing Face' in China is a cardinal sin. Chinese women who 'fall' for a foreigner could potentially lose face in the eyes of their parents and peers

A young and popular lady who was working in a large department store in a big city centre shopping mall was apparently having an affair with a married man

The man took a video (on his phone) while the lady took a shower, and she posed for him
The man's wife found the video on her husband's phone and posted it on WECHAT (Chinese equivalent to Facebook, roughly speaking)

The young woman has since killed herself

Terrible, tragic (and a whole host of other words) but it just goes to show how seriously 'face' is regarded in this country

I never met her nor do I know who she is, but I felt sick to the stomach when I found out tonight

#2015-07-16 15:03:27 by queensknight @queensknight

@queensknight as a professional photographer i usually conduct a "before shoot" consultation, advising the client that to be absolutely sure that any photographs to be taken will not reflect on your character or be seen by relatives or friends that may view your images, or fall into the hands of mean spirited people looking to cause trouble for you. if you look at the tabloids, of famous celebrities and the photos taken of them, the image itself is innocent but the words printed underneath are deadly in the hands of someone with ill will. better to play it on the safe side, unless you are a professional actress, or model, not to do anything risky that will return to haunt you later on.

#2015-09-30 15:13:52 by AussieBhoy74 @AussieBhoy74

A very good post from John. It is not true that Western men "steal" Chinese women. It is mainly Western men taking the women Chinese men don't want. Those "sheng nv" the over 27's like John said.

Also, it is not like we are going to China and other countries and "stealing" young women. Most mature men Western men don't want very young women anyway. For me, any Chinese woman under 27 is off limits, and I'd prefer someone in mid-thirties.

It is true that many of these Chinese women over 27 are single because they wanted to work hard, have a career, and improve their lives: I have nothing but admiration for them. If a lot of Chinese men despise these women for wanting to be educated then they are fools.

In fact, I think there are plenty of women available even for Chinese men. If they stopped ignoring divorced women, single Mums, and single Chinese women over 27 they would be much better off.

However, no, they still want the 23 year old virgin who earns less then they do. No hope for those hating type of Chinese men with that attitude!

#2015-11-26 23:48:08 by Iamtheeggman @Iamtheeggman

Not unlike a small segment of Black men in America,Who believe that Black women "belong to them" and have a fit if they see "their" women with a white man..BTW this little trend has been going around since the 70's..just my 2 cents

(Showing 1 to 5 of 5) 1
To respond to another member's comment type @ followed by their name before your comment, like this: @username Then leave a space. Ask John Abbot a Question : Click here...