Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Gareth is an Australian who has lived in JiangSu, SuZhou (Heaven on Earth) for a few years - he is a keen observer of the Chinese people, Chinese culture and the changes that are occurring in China at break-neck speed. He can often be found on his a nightly 'perch' in front of his bar in the famous Bar Street in Suzhou, talking to the locals in his bad Mandarin, teaching the 'flower-selling girls' English, eating street food and smiling at the local chengguan (neighbourhood police). Gareth also has several other businesses in China around Business and English training. His experiences have been varied and interesting and his years in China have taught him to be wary of promises but excited about prospects, not a bad situation to be in!
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Searching for a Tiger Lady    

By Garreth Humphris
8687 Views | 2 Comments | 8/9/2011 11:48:42 AM

If you have been watching the News of The World media tangle/phone hacking scandal in the UK, you may have seen the Chinese wife of Rupert Murdoch, Wendi Deng, defend her husband against a ’cream pie’ attack from a protester with a few well-placed slaps and a lot of gusto.

As you can imagine, this display has caught the attention and imagination of quite a few Chinese and so it seems all my 'love advisors' as well... the predominant response is that I need a “tiger woman” as my wife immediately. I might just add that over the last few years, I was advised I needed a Sister Feng-type woman and a Ma Nuo-type woman and a Lady GaGa-type woman!

My first friend is a foreigner with a lovely Chinese wife and two children. He was relating his “current Chinese dilemma” to me now that their eldest son is at schooling age. The children were both born outside China in the father’s homeland technically making them 'foreigners’ in China meaning that the cannot go to regular Chinese schools etc, even though their first language is Chinese and they have lived in China for 99.9% of their life. Their father believes that they should get a strong grounding in Chinese to allow them to speak with family and community, read and write, but unfortunately they cannot attend a local school to do this. The complication is as foreigners, they can only get short-term visas and entry even though they have a local Chinese mother which is causing lots of distress in the greater family! They have few choices; give up foreign citizenship and become Chinese, or retain foreign citizenship and be foreigners in their own country.  This situation is not unique to China, many countries have complicated and convoluted entry and visa requirements. This also complicates things like property ownership, and his wife living in another country for longer than a few do the children go with their father and live in another country going to a ’Chinese school’ there, returning to family on holiday or fly in and out of the country every few months to obtain a visa for life? Hopefully saner heads will prevail for them...and a solution will be found.

So I was having dinner with this friend, discussing “issues we had had, hopes that had been won and dashed etc” and he made the comment that I had been working quite hard in China for a few years but only having marginal success - you know, I could feed myself, pay some staff and have some fun but the heavy lifting in cash was so far unheard of... every opportunity that I had taken had given some payback but it was far from stellar...and this is when he said to me “you either leave China soon, or get yourself a Tiger Wife!”. I blinked a few times - “you know, someone like my wife - someone to look out for you in business, get your daily life in order and mould your efforts into better paying options - someone to keep an eye out for you, you know! We are just babies in this country...sigh, after 10 years living here and not even able to walk yet!”. 

“Sad sentiments, not untrue!”, I thought, but where do I find this person... for me in China, there is a little problem, and that is actually meeting women in my desired age group (30-45), that are also open to a relationship with a foreigner! 

With ladies in this age-group, Being a little more traditional, you don't run into these types of women in bars or clubs, coffee-shops or art galleries. And if you do, the thought of wanting to chat with a strange foreigner in plain view of so many contemporaries is very off-putting, since they won't be in these places alone!!.
The women I do meet in person could best be described as women who know what they want - in general; money, a trip overseas, a better life for them and their teenage child. While I don't begrudge the women for thinking this way, I do tire of the one-dimensionality of it.

This is where the CLM strategy works well, I can talk to someone for a while before deciding to meet them!

The second ’tiger wife’ suggestion came from a chinese female friend of mine who owns a bar - she is married to a foreigner for many years and has a couple of children. Strong-willed, anti-traditional, a real diamond in the rough.

I was sitting in the bar when she grabbed hold of my open hand and held it face-up on the table. Folding my fingers into my palm one by one as she said the following 
“1. To look after you keep you happy and healthy”,
“2. To handle your business troubles”, 
“3. To manage your guanxi”,
”4. To look after the family you deserve”, 
“5. To defend you from all that is China”.
Looking down, my hand formed the shape of a giant gongfu-grip claw - “see”, she said, “it's obvious, you need a Tiger woman in your life right now”.

Who am I to argue with logic like that!

Notes: Recent Chinese Internet sensations.

Sister Feng was a plain-looking girl who audaciously announced on the internet that her husband needed an extremely high degree from a top university, needed to give her a lot of money and 'keep' her properly. After a nose job, teeth job and a boob job she did a series of semi-naked photos showing too much unnatural abundance for most Chinese netizens and has disappeared from sight somewhere in America.

Ma Nuo is another ’flash in the pan’ media sensation, a small-town model, she famously appearing on a TV dating show, she answered a question about “future happiness” by a poor male contestant by saying that “she’d rather cry in the back of a BMW than smile on the back of a bicycle”. Some people saw it an an expression of what was important to her, and applauded her frankness while others has less than nice suggestions about her.

Both are believed to be 'Internet/media’ lackeys.

Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
(Showing 1 to 2 of 2) 1
#2011-08-12 11:17:49 by tanshui @tanshui

Very, very good advice.

#2011-08-18 18:32:18 by Snow8023 @Snow8023

wish you luck,just read madam yayaliu 's article" what is the real chinese woman?" wish you find a real chinese woman!

(Showing 1 to 2 of 2) 1
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