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John Abbot is co-owner of ChinaLoveMatch.net. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady and living in China, John knows and respects China, Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. His blog will include good stuff about Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese. Join John Abbot on Google+
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Sajiao: Is It Unbecoming of Chinese Women    

By John Abbot
14173 Views | 21 Comments | 9/30/2013 5:26:47 PM
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(Showing 11 to 20 of 21) Previous 1 2 3 More...
#2013-10-02 19:07:36 by zhang77 @zhang77

呵呵,很有趣的话题,但我们不能否,通常比较会撒娇的人总是会得到更多,但不仅指中国,对韩国日本等亚洲国家都有适用。
我记得多年前在中国你不会想到这个词语,中国女人骨里是没有完全具备这些技能,所以有些撒娇使人感觉是愚蠢和幼稚的。
中国开放后随风而来的,由多年前台湾风开始,渐进为哈日风和到现在的哈韩风所影响,在韩剧里可以随处可见各种撒娇模式,但中国影视剧相对少的现象,只是近几年偶像剧改变路线,虽然会说演电视的是疯子,看电视的是傻子,但相对可以反映出一些人文气息在里面。
记得我在读中学时,那时看的最多的就是台湾剧,同学之间就经常会模仿剧中人物来调侃,但中国近10年的巨大变化,大多数人的生活水平的提高,物质的丰富,但同时也给女人带来了危机,为了家庭的稳固,很多女性不得不吸收和尝试新的方式,增加夫妻情趣,当然我不是凭空想象,因为我曾经组织过多次500多人的女性讲座,主要针对女性话题,夫妻相处之道,内容包含了如何向丈夫撒娇。但我也发现一个秘密,撒娇技能使用得当的女性大都是非常和谐的家庭关系,有问题的,也是失去了兴趣,懒得去撒娇了。
但我想中西方不同东西的结合,应该是非常完美的组合,中国女性温婉,柔美,西方男人幽默,理解,细致。我们看看,撒娇+幽默=?,我的答案是(眉飞色舞)
但撒娇技能不能掌握很好的女性,请慎用。不然会成为被调侃的话题哦!

#2013-10-03 13:15:07 by purplesea1970 @purplesea1970

从来不看日韩连续剧,主要原因就是里面的女主角年龄都一把了,还老爱瞪眼、噘嘴卖萌撒娇,感觉这是大陆女性14岁以前的表情,放到30岁还在用,不过现在好像内地也很喜欢这一套了,姑且算作女性不愿老去的一种心理反映吧。

#2013-10-04 22:00:26 by shellnong @shellnong

不懂得在自己心爱男人跟前撒娇的女人,不算真正的女人,缺乏一点情调和可爱,不够有情趣,也不够爱这个男人。女人对心爱男人的撒娇,是一种情不自禁的行为、自然而然的行为,说明她爱他,哈哈。

#2013-10-06 12:32:41 by haifeng @haifeng

撒娇在南方被称之为“发嗲”,每每看到南方女人在男人面前“发嗲”时娇滴滴的样子,我就羡慕的不得了,真希望自己能拥有如此柔韧之术,活用以柔克刚的本事。
我也非常喜欢撒娇,而我的撒娇更像个调皮鬼,比如我和爱人出门游玩时,我会突然装作脚扭伤了,让他背着我走,当他做了我会开心大笑,告诉他“猪八戒终于背上媳妇了”,而他也会捏住我的鼻子,笑骂我是个坏家伙,诸如此类的撒娇行为,在我的生活中处处存在,我认为这是乏味生活中的调味剂。
关于楼主所说的女人为了达到自己的某种目的而进行的撒娇行为,我认为这是一种手段或者阴谋,绝对要防范和拒绝,以防受骗

#2013-10-07 09:32:22 by Andypanda @Andypanda

This made me laugh. I had never heard of sajiao. I find it quite funny and also cute.
I am afraid I would probably fall for it 9 times out of 10.
The more I read about it and the following comments the more I realized this sort of thing goes on in the west also ( I dont mean the aggressive or abusive type though).
I have to admit I like the idea of her acting all "cutesy: as I would call it.
Sajiao............ I thought that was a city in Japan hahaha.

#2013-10-10 11:36:23 by anonymous7552 @anonymous7552

我很讨厌动不动就对男人撒娇的女人,女人想要得到男人的宠爱,也不必非得采用胡乱撒娇的办法来征服男人,,这样不但不会激起男人雄性荷尔蒙的分泌,反而容易令男人日久生厌,,‘撒娇’完全可以避免装腔作势,却在不经意间触动他的内心深处,这才是聪慧的女人。
可以想象,如果一个女人整天一副娇滴滴的模样,是并不会得到男人的怜爱,只会让他们觉得你是一种负担,时间长了更会厌烦。
事实证明,喜欢林志玲那种类型的男人并不多,顶多也只是想和她玩玩而已。你必须明白这一点,
没有哪个男人一直有耐心哄女人,在男人的潜意识里,他们更希望找一个体贴懂事的女人,能让自己劳累之时也偶尔跟她撒撒娇。
在恋爱中,如果你是一个喜欢撒娇的女人,那么请你收敛一些,至少不要让对方感觉到你是他的一个负担。比如在男人工作的时候,就不要总吵着叫他陪你聊天,当男人疲惫不堪的时候,也不要非拉着他陪你逛街。在男人看来,女人一些无理取闹的撒娇,更像是撒野,即便他最终妥协,也绝对不会心甘情愿的!

#2013-10-10 14:01:02 by 99moonriver @99moonriver

Sajiao is a sort of weapon which usually being used by childen, or women in China.

When a child or a woman suddenly changes to be abnormal state, childish behave, sweet words, naive voice, innocence look, baby talk, pretending anger, funny joke, light punishment like pinching, kicking, biting, Chinese people call these silly behave Sajiao.

Sajiao is an acting or a show which hiding some purpose. When a child wants to lead other people to buy him (her) something, or allow him (her) to do something forbided, or when a woman wants to get some benefit from a man, or want to entice (control) a man to do something for her, they might sajiao a lot.

Sajiao supposed to be a game only used in intimate situation, it could be very sweet n cute n funny, when being used between two person whom have very close relationship, like between parent n children, or between a couple. Usually it is kind of a pleasure for Chinese men if his woman Sajiao to him.

Sajiao also could be very tacky nuisance, it would become totally not suitable for a woman moving acting Sajiao towards other people whom have not close relationship with her. So if a women move acting Sajiao in public, or even overact, it will become an crazy overplay show, n make other people around her feel sick n disgusted.

#2013-10-13 09:40:11 by DarthCarl @DarthCarl

I am a Westerner and think this sounds great. But then again, I do not belong with other Western people and am fed up with Western women. (My reason for joining this site) The more I talk to Chinese people and learn their ways, the more I have grown to like them. I am getting to the point where I ONLY want to date a Chinese woman.

#2013-10-14 20:00:07 by chsmpa @chsmpa

I am sorry to say that i think you are making a big deal over something that is just a form of sulking. All women sulk ! American, european, british, asian, etc. I know lots of Chinese females who do not "sa jiao". There are too many generalisations been put on the blogs here and more specifically this blog. You are running the risk of making meaning in something where, in fact, there is no meaning.

Regarding the original blog: " this is very similar to how some western women use sex to manipulate their mate. Actually, if a foreign man looks at it from that perspective, he may find the Chinese way more harmless, probably even adorable (unless, of course, the foreign man prefers a western vixen’s way.)".
Do you actually realise how offensive this is to western women ? western women use sex to manipulate ? vixens ? So western women use sex and Chinese women use sulky faces to manipulate. Its a laughable comment. It really is an unhealthy obcession with Chinese culture, to the point where even Chinese people think its a bit weird and have never considered such things before. Man-up !

#2013-10-15 14:26:42 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

@chsmpa - actually the entire concept of Sajiao was introduced and explained to me by my very Chinese wife, who is well educated, intelligent and has a pretty good handle on Chinese culture, and what I wrote was based largely on what she told me combined with some of my own experiences during my more than a decade residing here.

Is it possible to blog on things Chinese without generalizing? I don't think so, and I'm sure most readers are well aware it is a generalization and they take it as such.

Is it a generalization that western women manipulate men with sex. Of course it is, but it is one that virtually every American comedy show on TV and a number of the serious ones present on a daily basis. I frankly don't know many western women who don't somewhat readily admit to it.

Personally, I think perhaps you're making too much out of nothing, but that is your right, and I'm more than happy to accept you might well be right that my sweet little Chinese wife ought to man-up a bit. Although Lord knows she scares me enough as it is. She is one of those "steel rods swathed in flowers" that we often generalize about when speaking of Chinese women.

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