Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Richard James Blogs on Cross Cultural & Long Distance Relationships, Chinese Women & Chinese Culture. Richard is new to blogging, new to cross cultural and long distance relationships, new to Chinese culture and a newlywed to a Chinese woman. His blog is about learning and growth for Richard, and offers a unique opportunity for you to learn and grow too.
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By Richard James'
5932 Views | 0 Comments | 5/14/2010 1:10:38 PM

Language - the basic principle that when we speak we are understood, a principle we take for granted until we are forced to understand someone else`s viewpoint or they are forced to understand ours. An example of this would be when my China girlfriend and I were having a chat conversation on the site and we were discussing our attraction to each other. I had typed that I was drawn to her like a moth to a flame and I thought that she would understand my meaning. Without even a second thought I hit the enter button and two seconds later my message was received.

Well let me tell you that those two seconds changed my whole idea of communication! Her reply to my statement was “I do not wish you dead, I want to give you my happy”. So, first lesson learned! Statements we make to convey particular feelings could easily be misunderstood.

I immediately understood her reaction to my statement to be because in Chinese culture that is a negative expression connoting being drawn to something bad, so not only do we have a language barrier now we can include an education barrier.

Now regarding education what I am really referring to is the culture and society you grow up in and what is commonplace and easily understood in one culture is not so easily understood in another. Some phrases and ideas are universal but most are not or maybe they are but from a different viewpoint.
So, gentle readers, this is an illustration of what you will be faced with once you start communicating with Chinese women. Now let me fill you in on an important step to creating a good experience when you communicate with the lovely Chinese ladies on CLM.

If you don`t know much (or even less) about Chinese culture please take the time to understand the culture of the women you will be communicating with. You can buy some books on China to help you understand it`s long, rich history and its people, and you will be surprised by the many parallels you will find in each others cultures.

You can also visit a Chinese online newspaper. I visit frequently to see what is happening in that part of China since that is where my girlfriend is from. Also, if you haven`t already, please read the articles on the emagazine. They are informative, funny and will inspire you.

If you are really serious about finding the Chinese woman of your dreams or even if you’re just looking for a pen pal and want to test the waters, which I am sure many of the women members are doing as well I suggest that you download a language translator. They don`t take up a lot of space on your hard drive and it's a very useful tool. I use is CHINESETRANSLATIONPRO.COM. My girlfriend often sends me email that will have some Chinese in it and I really appreciate it that she does because it helps me understand her better and in time you will find that Chinese is very lyrical both in written text and spoken word.

And speaking of the spoken word in China it is called PU TONG HUA (poo toeng hwa) or the people`s language. I mistakenly typed it one time as PO DONG QUAI which made my girlfriend laugh and quickly inform me of the correct spelling.

Lastly if you are really adventurous you can learn to speak Chinese, and I would suggest you refrain from learning PINYIN if you really want to learn Chinese, because you will just get confused (see example above). Learn the pronunciation before learning how it is written.

There are many online courses you can take and audio programs and the one audio program that has been working for me is PIMSLEURS. In a matter of days you will be speaking some Chinese and you only have to spend 30 to 45 minutes a day with the lesson.

Now will you be able to watch Curse of the Golden Flower without subtitles? No, but you will start to understand your Chinese girlfriend’s thinking better when she says something to you in Chinese and you can understand what she just said to you.

Have an open mind, have fun and remember they are just as eager to learn from you as you are from them.

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