Chinese Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born in the UK but now living in Australia, Paul Fox has travelled to many places throughout China. He has seen the lighter side, the darker side, both the gentle and the seedy sides. He documents his experiences and is willing to share them with anyone who wants to listen. He is not afraid to say things exactly how he sees them, and is quite happy to "name and shame" when necessary.
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Respect: If you want to know the time........Part 1    

By Paul Fox
701 Views | 12 Comments | 12/16/2019 1:26:35 PM

When I was a kid.....and I mean primary school Dad often chastised me for 'not respecting authority'.

I guess that's because I never understood the meaning of the word 'authority'. After all, who has the right to have more authority over you, than you?

Sure, our parents are there to help us; guide us; teach us, etc, but it seems that as soon as we become 18 years old and are 'on our own', it's 'Big-Daddy government' that takes over the 'parental role'.

I'm old enough to remember policemen 'walking the beat'. In those days they were known as 'constables' rather than 'officers'. As kids, we were always taught, 'If you want to know the time, ask a policeman'

Sadly, that morphed into what was known as 'Community Policing'. We used to joke as to its meaning. 'Community Policing' meant 20 coppers jumping out of a van, bashing you over the head with their truncheons, then telling you what time it is.


There was one 'bobby' who used to 'walk the beat' near to where I grew up. I was about 13 years old and was already a smoker.

I lost count of how many times I ran into this guy, but more often than not he'd take out a pack of cigarettes, offer me one, and we'd sit for a few minutes chatting while we had our smoke.

I liked that guy.....that policeman....he was a 'good-guy'. I respected him, and he respected me, despite my young age.

He taught me 'right' from 'wrong' in the same way my father did, and for the first time in my life I thought I understood what the word 'authority' meant.

It wasn't until much later in life that I realised that this guy's 'authority' meant exactly what I thought it meant, and that this guy's 'authority' only came from his costume and shiny badge.

It didn't matter. Even in civilian clothes, this guy had earned my respect.


Oh how times have changed......


These days they are no longer police 'constables', they are police 'officers'. Simply translated - 'Policy Officers'. They are nothing more than 'revenue-raisers'.

My brother is such a creature. He worked in the Traffic Department, and I remember him gleefully telling me that in 2016 'his' department raised something like $865 million in traffic fines. That was from a population of just over 2 million people, so you can do the maths.


You can do your own research, but if you live in ANY Western country you'll discover that the 'police force' is nothing short of a revenue-raising corporation.

All police 'officers' in the West are now nothing short of politician's puppets.

Some dude, in a plush office with a leather chair, scribbles something on a piece of paper, hands it to the cops, and they must enforce the will of that person.


Just for fun, trying searching online for the most stupid laws in the world....

'It's illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament'

"It's illegal to pee in the sea in Portugal'

In Oregon (USA) it's illegal to have a donkey in your bath after 7pm on a Thursday.


In Western Australia you and I can both be arrested if I buy your used washing machine at 10.55am on a Sunday - we must wait until 11am

If we decide to have a 'beach party' in West Australia, and we take a case of wine with us, we can drink it all, but we can only take ONE bottle of wine onto the beach at a time.

So even if there's 20 of us, we all need to take turns traipsing back to the car in order to collect the next bottle of wine we want to drink.


We're told we need to 'respect the law'. Maybe we would if it was sensible.

Policy officers are recruited dependant on their IQ level.

It's now a fact that the 'criteria' is simply half-a-degree above absolute moron.

Yet we're supposed to 'respect' this so-called 'authority'?

Well, Mr Policy-officer, or should I say 'Cunt-stable' - please take off your fancy-dress costume and your shiny badge, then let's see how much 'authority' you have.......


So why do I begin my blog with this story? I have been accused, by people on this site, of 'disrespecting' women.


The word 'authority' is related to 'ownership'. If you are kind enough to give me a lift in your car, and I ask if I can smoke; you say No, then you have the authority to do so - it's your car.

Likewise if I come to your house. I must abide by your rules, because it's YOUR house. Therefore, you have the 'authority'.

Several people have said that respect is like trust, it must be earned. Well, yeah.....and sometimes you'll see...

The problem, as I see it, is like this......

There's a big difference between NOT respecting someone, and DIS-respecting them.

Sure, if I dis-respect you then I'm certainly showing that I have no respect for you, but conversely, I can have no respect for you, and not dis-respect you.

This is the issue here. People, (certainly many Chinese women in my experience), think that disrespect and no respect go hand-in-hand. They don't..!


As discussed, if you own something, then you have authority over it. Yet when it comes to 'power', there are 2 scenarios...

The first is that I succumb to your 'power' over me if I perceive you to be more powerful than I am.

The second is that you are physically more powerful than me, and you then take away my power by using your own.

What has this to do with 'respect'?

Everything !........................


As for the story regarding the police, the meaning should become totally apparent by the time we get to the end of this series of blogs.

We'll go deeper in part 2



Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2019-12-16 13:26:23 by JohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

Paul, beause we haven't had a blog posted I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt that this is going to get more specifically directed at male/female relationships or better yet Western/Chinese or Asian relationships in some manner. I think it has the potential to be very interesting wherever it is headed. But will it be relevant? That is the problem.

Maybe I am missing something so meanwhile I will reserve my comments.

#2019-12-16 20:49:14 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Of course it will be relevant. I am currently working on Part 2, but I think you're going to have to wait until part 3 is finished before you find the answer you seek.

#2019-12-18 07:39:18 by melcyan @melcyan



"I have been accused, by people on this site, of 'disrespecting' women."


We only have access to your written words. We don't have direct access to your thoughts, beliefs and your actual level of respect for women. We can only guess. Our guesses are informed by the words we read from YOU. If a forensic psychologist was given the task of analysing your words on CLM and collating examples of "high level of respect for women" and " low level of respect for women" then the latter would be represented far more heavily than the former.


"There's a big difference between NOT respecting someone, and DIS-respecting them.

Sure, if I dis-respect you then I'm certainly showing that I have no respect for you, but conversely, I can have no respect for you, and not dis-respect you.

This is the issue here. People, (certainly many Chinese women in my experience), think that disrespect and no respect go hand-in-hand. They don't..!"


You may well attempt a lengthy description of the difference between "no respect" and "disrespect" but that is NOT the issue. The real issue is that words from you that reflect a high level of respect for women are very difficult to find on CLM.


You said the answer to John's question is not coming until part 3. In that case, it looks like my next comment will have to wait until after part 3 is posted.



#2019-12-18 12:21:19 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


Your comment is valid, and not without foundation. Since it was you who instigated this blog I feel it necessary to assure you that I am not trying to prove either of us wrong, nor right.

I am simply presenting the subject of 'respect' the way I see it. If even ONE person finds a 'take-away', then it will be worth the time spent writing.

There is a lot more yet to come, my friend.

#2019-12-20 14:30:22 by oldghost @oldghost

@paulfox1 I see the ancient hunting custom of beating around but not in the bushes is alive and well.  We can be sure there'll be no undisturbed prey by the time the vague point becomes concrete.  Christmas and New Year will have come ang gone, methinks.  My Oxford does not list disrespect as a verb.  It is an American mis-use I think.  老鬼

#2019-12-21 17:59:43 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


One doesn't begin reading a book by starting with the final page, my friend.

I agree, the word 'disrespect' is actually a colloquialism first used in 1610, (or so they tell us)

It comes from 'dis' plus the verb 'to respect'.

Off the top of my head I cannot think of a suitable synonym other than 'contempt', but that's a noun.

#2019-12-25 10:59:46 by oldghost @oldghost

Nor does one read a book if tedium deters one halfway through page one.  There are in fact many nouns that (remembering prescriptive that) do not function as verbs and an adequate supply of verbs to fill any need other than Obsessive Compulsive Verbification. treat with, hold in, display, exhibit, show.  The adjectival form is useful too.  Why does this make me think of unkempt and dishevelled and disdain?  Missing antonyms in those cases I guess, whereas disrespect(v) is an American contrived antonym and therefore to be disdained! :D you can hear the hint of 'deign', Latin dignus in it. I see dishevel derives from French chevel.

#2019-12-25 13:21:23 by paulfox1 @paulfox1


The English language is steeped in occultism - far more than most people know, or even care to know.

The following is something I prepared for one of my colleagues, (a Chinese English-teacher). You may enjoy it.....or not....

Words, are 'swords'. Move the 's' from the end of 'words' and you get 'sword'. This is why we say
words can 'cut you'.

We go to school and we learn how to spell. Yet a spell is a curse, and 'to curse' means 'to swear',
and we 'swear' an oath. We learn to write, which is spoken as 'rite', and a 'rite' is a ritual.
Why do the words 'proceed' and 'precede' sound almost the same, yet have opposite meanings?

Confucius said, - "Signs and symbols rule the world, not words or laws"

Yet the Greek for 'word' is 'logos', and from that we get 'logo', and a logo is a symbol or sign.
So words themselves are signs and symbols, yet no-one sees it.
A capital 'M' looks like a mountain; 'V' looks like a valley; 'C' is a crescent, and 'D', on its side,
looks like a dome. A 'B' looks like women's breasts, and even a 'T' has a top on it.
Are these not symbols?

If I asked you what's the most important word in English, what would you say?
Look at what's hidden inside the word 'know'.
So is it 'No', or 'Know' that's the most important word?

Light, in Greek, is 'Gamma', and from that we get 'grammar'.

The English language can be traced right back to the Phoenician people, but it was originally
mostly spoken, and not written. Is that why we have a 'phone'? Young kids are taught 'phonics' and
the 'phonetic alphabet'.
Someone who didn't understand something all those years ago would have been called 'deaf'.
A 'deaf Phoenician' = 'definition'. If 'diction' means to speak, and definition means 'meaning', then why
do we use a dictionary and not a 'definitionary'?

The word 'person' = 'per son', (as in one per person)
If you go to court you have a jury. One jury; one court. If you lie, you commit perjury = 'per jury'.

We go to court and stand in front of a judge. Information is passed backwards and forwards between
two sides, and the judge makes a decision. Tennis, anyone?
What's the difference? Tennis is played on a court; the ball goes backwards and forwards between
the players, and the umpire, (judge), makes the final decision.

Why do we put government leaders into 'power'? We go to the polls (poles) in order to vote (volt),
and then put them in 'charge'. (You charge your phone with 'power')
If you buy something using your credit-card, you 'charge' it to your card.
If you're a little stupid, you're 'dim'. We are kept 'in the dark', or we 'shed light' on something.

The word 'language' comes from the Old-French word 'languir', which means 'languish'.
In Latin, 'languire' means to 'be listless / weak, or faint'.
Can you C; sea; see what I'm talking about yet?

We are languishing in our language.
We are 'whirled' in our 'world'. Soldiers are 'sold to die'.
We are 'weak' after working for a 'week', so we look forward to the weekend because we are
'weakened'. We earn money, but after we die our ashes are put in an 'urn'.
'Evil' is simply 'live' spelled backwards. The reverse-spelling of 'love' would be 'evol' and would be
pronounced the same way that 'evil' is spoken.
The word 'spirit' can be seen in 'inspiration' - where does INspiration come from?
It comes from 'withIN', and what's within? Our spirit !

It's interesting that the word 'level' is spelled the same backwards, especially when you consider
its meaning.

Words are 'spells'. This is why we spell words correctly, or right, when we write (rite).

When a ship comes into port, it 'berths'. It is then provides a 'manifest', which is a full list of its cargo.
When we are born, we are 'birthed' from our mother's 'canal', after her 'water' breaks.
The verb to 'manifest' means to 'appear' - just like a ship 'appears' in its berth. It's not there one
minute, it's there the next. We are given a birth 'certificate' when we 'manifest' into the world.
Mother is the 'ship'; we are the 'cargo'.

After that, we're on a 'ship' our whole lives.
We have citizenship; friendship; fellowship; partnership; relationship; membership.....
the list goes on.....

A ship berths in a dock. You go to court and the 'bailiff' puts you in the 'dock'.
If you are born in a hospital then the 'docked-ore' (doctor),'de-livers' the baby. ('Liver' means 'life')

We have cash 'flow'; liquid, or frozen, assets, and we put our money in a 'bank'.
If we go abroad on holiday, we go 'overseas' to a 'different sea'.
The cash we use depends on where we currently are - that's why it's known as 'current-sea',(currency),
and 'current' also relates to electricity, as well as water.
There's the electricity / power connection again. A doctor (docked-ore) performs 'surge' ry on you,
and if you die in hospital, the doctor will use 'paddles' in order to resuscitate you.
These paddles use electric 'currents', and 'currents' are found in rivers and seas.
When you are released from hospital, you are 'dis-charged'.

A property is 'leased', and you are the 'property' of the government, that is why you are 're-leased'
back into the community so you can pay more tax.

Æ is a Latin grapheme named 'æsc' or 'ash', formed from the letters A and E.
('Grapheme' just means a unit of a writing system).
This grapheme used to be seen in the word 'ENCYCLOPÆDIA'

If we reverse Æ we get 'EA', which is essentially pronounced 'eeya', or, 'ia' or 'Yah', and means 'God'.
The original Hebrew word for 'God' is 'EL'

So if Æ, in reverse, means 'God', and 'EL', also means 'god', then what can we find in all this?

What's a 'vow'? A vow is a promise.

The letters A and E are vowels, or 'Vow ELs'. - which means a promise to god.
The next 3 vowels are I, O, and U. What's an 'IOU'?

The letter 'Y' can also be considered a vowel. So the vowels in English are essentially- A. E. I. O. U. Y.

Therefore we can easily see how these 6 vowels can become
'God, I Owe You, Why?

When you wake up in the morning, you are 'awake', and 'a wake' is a funeral.
When someone dies, we go into 'mourning'. Is this why we 'awake' in the 'morning' (mourning)?

If you are 'aware', then you know what's happening around you, but a 'ware' is something that's for sale.

We call ourselves 'human beings', because we're all human 'being' something.
I'm a human 'being' a teacher.
Why is the word 'fun' in 'funeral'.?
When you die, you are deceased, but to 'cease' means to stop, and 'dis' means to 'stop' or to 'take
away'. So if 'deceased' means 'dead', 'de-cease' must mean to stop being 'dead' and to 'start living'.

A child is a 'kid', but this is the name given to a baby goat.
In 'Middle-English', the word 'gote' meant 'drain', or 'gutter' which is where waste goes.
From 'gutter', we get 'gut', and our gut is at our waist, where our own 'waste' is stored.

Isn't English fun?



#2019-12-29 12:02:07 by oldghost @oldghost

One man's pun is indeed another's punishment.  My favourite English 'puzzle', one I frequently hand on to students, for some of whom it is memorable (this I know since one quoted it last night) is 'Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana'  perhaps attributable to Oettinger

Time Flies Like an Arrow

An Ode to Oettinger

Now, thin fruit flies like thunderstorms,
And thin farm boys like farm girls narrow;
And tax firm men like fat tax forms –
But time flies like an arrow.

When tax forms tax all firm men's souls,
While farm girls slim their boyfriends' flanks;
That's when the murd'rous thunder rolls –
And thins the fruit flies ranks.

Like tossed bananas in the skies,
The thin fruit flies like common yarrow;
Then's the time to time the time flies –
Like the time flies like an arrow.
Edison B. Schroeder 1966



#2019-12-29 12:02:51 by oldghost @oldghost

@paulfox1 - the target of the arrow was omotted

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